Embarrassed Meeting
by foreverlight
Summary: Roy's calls an emergency meeting that ends with Riza in his arms
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own it never will.

It was close to midnight when Riza had finished her shower. She especially like showering at night since the women's locker room was empty most of the time. Normally she would have taken a shower in her room but a water pipe had broken and water wasn't going to her room. She was only wearing her undergarments when there was a knock on the door. Out of instinct, she quickly wrapped a towel around her as well as click the safety off her gun she peered to the side of the locker to see a blonde head poke through the door.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye, are you in here?" nervously came from the head.

"Edward?" she quickly replied. He quickly shot his eyes towards her. Before Riza knew it, Ed had grabbed one of her arms and was now dragging her through the hallway.

"Edward, stop this instant!" she screamed as the teenager was pulling her, the whole time holding onto her towel for dear life.

"Can't," he replied not bothering to look back at her. "Mustang called an important meeting and we need to get there quick". They continued their sprint until they had reached Roy's room. Not bothering to knock, he barged into the room pulling Riza in behind him. "Hey, I found her. Let's get this meeting over with."

Everyone was seated in Roy's room, either on the floor or his bed, wearing their pajamas. Roy was the only one standing. They all stared in shock when Ed had come into the room with the nearly naked Riza. Al even managed to portray it on his face. Seconds later blood started to trickle down everyone's, except Al's, face. Confused by the scene, Ed turned around to see and embarrassed and pissed off Riza grasping tightly her towel with one hand while holding a gun pointed directly at his head with the other.

"Next time I say stop, you better stop," she coldly said still pointing her gun at his head. Ed simply nodded. He didn't want to do anything else that would upset her anymore than he already had. She lowered her gun after he nodded. "Colonel?"

No moved. They stayed frozen in their position still staring at her. It wasn't until Riza fired a bullet into the ceiling that everyone snapped back to reality. She shot everyone a glare that caused everyone to shake uncontrollably before turning her attention to Roy.

"Colonel?" she said with that stern voice of hers.

"Yes?" flew out of his mouth as he made eye contact with her. Looking anywhere else was sure to get a bullet shot at him.

"Would you mind lending me some clothes?"

"Uhh…yeah, sure."

He went into his dresser in search of clothes for Riza. There wasn't anything in there that would fit her so he moved to his closet. Again, he couldn't fine anything suitable for her to wear. He had to settle for one of his undershirts.

"Here," he said handing her the shirt. "None of my pants will fit you but the shirt should be large enough to cover you."

"Thank you, sir," she said as he returned to his originally position a few feet in front of the dresser. "Now everyone turn around." They complied seeing that she still had a gun in her hand with the safety off. "And Colonel close your eyes. I know you can see me in the mirror." _'So close.'_ he thought as he slowly but surely closed his eyes. In fact everyone closed their eyes. They didn't want to give Riza a reason to shoot at them. She quickly changed into the shirt. "You can turn around now." They turned around and looked at her. Their noses started bleed once again at the sight of her. Roy's shirt had covered but barely. It stopped at about mid-thigh. Riza fired her gun again promptly stopping the nosebleeds. She made her way towards Roy's bed but before she could sit down everyone on the bed jumped off and was now sitting on the floor with everyone else. She just shrugged and sat down on the bed tucking her legs behind her. She then promptly placed her gun beside her.

"Colonel, what is it that you want?" came out of Havoc.

"Yeah," coming half-yawned from Breda.

"And why isn't Lieutenant Colonel Hughes here?" Furey added.

"He's the reason we're all here," Roy finally spoke. "His birthday's in a few days and I wanted to throw a surprise party for him." Everyone lodged their protest and anger at Roy for making them come to a late night meeting about a simple birthday party. After a while, everyone finally calmed down and proceeded to plan the party. It was around two in the morning when they finished planning. Everyone was leaving. Riza had managed to stop Ed and Al before they left.

"Edward would you mind going back to the women's locker room and retrieve my clothes?"

"Yes, sir."

The two of them left for the locker room leaving Riza alone with Roy. She went back to sit on Roy's bed. Roy was now sitting in a chair beside the bed. They sat there in silence. Riza was feeling slightly embarrassed to be sitting half-naked on her commanding officer's bed. Roy was fighting the urge to stare at her but his eyes would always find their way back to her. _'God, she looks hot in my shirt. No Roy, bad Roy, get that out of your head. She's your subordinate; you can't have her. Now quit looking at her before she puts that gun of hers to your head.' _He thought to himself. Just as Roy's eyes were about to move away from Riza, she began to stretch. She lifted her arms into the air and arched her back. This movement caused the shirt to rise slightly revealing a small part of her underwear. _'Thank you, Lord. Now if you could get her to wear a miniskirt I will forever be grateful.' _He would have liked to keep staring at her in hope of seeing more of her but the sight of her gun inches away from her leg slapped him back into reality. His eyes focused on the door a few feet in front of him. The gaze he had could have burned a hole in the door, though that could easily be done with a simple snap. The whole time his thoughts going back to the image burned into his mind, the partial image of Riza's underwear but more importantly of her skin. He could feel himself blushing but he continued his focus on the door. It wasn't until he felt a hand come across his forehead that he lost his concentration.

"You don't have a fever. Are you alright, sir?" Riza had noticed a change in Roy's color. His cheeks were flushed and she believed that he was coming down with a fever. She had crawled across the bed to where she was beside him. She leaned forward placing her hand on his forehead to check him temperature. Roy's face had gotten even redder when noticed how close his face was to Riza's.

"I'm fine," he finally said after gaining enough of his composure back. Riza removed her hand from Roy's head. She then proceed to prop herself with some pillows against the headboard. Much like what Roy was doing earlier, she stared at the door trying to will Ed and Al to knock on the door. Roy had managed to stop blushing and was staring at the door as well. Again they sat in total silence. It wasn't until ten minutes later that a knock broke the silence. Roy sprang to his feet while Riza got on all four. Roy had begun walking to the door. Riza was now leaning on the footboard waiting for Roy to open the door. He was only a foot away from it when he had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Maes. I saw that your light was still on and thought I'd come share some new pictures of Elicia with you."

"Ah, crap," came from both Roy's and Riza's mouth. Within seconds Roy had grabbed Riza by the arm and dragged her to his closet. He immediately shoved her in and closed it. They both knew what would happen if Maes had caught then under these circumstances. After making sure Riza was hidden, he proceeded to open the door.

"What took you so long?" Maes asked walking into the room. "Got a girl in here?"

"No!" Roy quickly blurted out which caused Maes to be suspicious.

"Really?" he said with a grin on his face. "Then you won't mind if I look around, do you?" Without waiting for a response, Maes started look around. First he checked in the bathroom. Now would have been a good time sneak Riza out, if the closet wasn't so close to the bathroom. Roy couldn't risk it. When Maes was content with the bathroom search, he proceeded to look in the bedroom. He went for the obvious hiding place, under the bed. "Nothing there." He sat on the bed paying no attention to the gun that was laying beside him. "I know, the closet." He made a b-line for the closet. It was too late Roy couldn't stop him. Maes quickly opened the door. "Hah, found you. Huh? No one's there." Roy was shocked at that announcement and looked into the closet. There was nothing there but his clothes and some boxes. "I guess you weren't lying…so how 'bout those pictures."

"Not tonight, I need to get some sleep," Roy said as he closed the closet door, a bit hesitant. He basically shoved Maes out the door with plenty of protest from him. He quickly promised to look at the pictures later and shut his door. There was a noise coming from behind him. He turned around to see his closet door swing open and Riza fall from it coughing.

"Is he gone?" she managed to say between coughs. Roy immediately went to her. She was covered in dust and cobwebs. After answering her question, he proceeded to brush the cobwebs and dust from her hair. "That was a close one."

"No kidding. By the way where did you disappear to?"

"There's a crawlspace behind the boxes."

"Really?" he said as he helped her up. She had trouble standing due to being cramped into a very, very small crawlspace. Roy held her at the waist with his hands to help balance her while she placed one hand on is shoulder to further support herself. The other hand was used to cover her mouth whenever she coughed. Roy couldn't but laugh at the creature he held. Riza was covered from head to toe in dust. "Guess you'll need to borrow another shirt." Before she could answer, the door swung open and Maes jumped in.

"Hah, I caught you!" he screamed. "Riza?" Maes couldn't help but grin at the sight of Roy holding Riza. He had caught them in an awkward position. Roy was in his sleeping clothes which consisted of a t-shirt and boxers while Riza was wearing nothing but one of his shirts. What other conclusion could a person draw from this sight? "I always knew the two of you would get together"

"Wait, Maes. It's not what you think," Roy defensively said after he and Riza let go of each other. "I can explain."

"What's there to explain," he coolly said walking to the door. "well maybe why Riza's covered in dust. I'll leave you two alone to have your fun. We'll talk later, Roy. Night, Riza." He exited the room with a smile traveling from ear to ear.

"We're never going to live this down, are we?" Riza said after a moment of them starting at the closed door.

"Nope."

"Edward hunting later?"

"Definitely."


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own it, just borrowing.**

Here's the second chapter. Originally, this was suppose to be a oneshot but since Comm Bulter asked I wrote another one.Thanks to my other reviewer that...well reviewed. Enjoy the second chapter.

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"Are you alright in there, Hawkeye?" 

"Yes, sir," Riza replied back. She was currently in Roy's bathroom taking yet another bath. She was still trying to get the dust among other things out of her hair that she accumulated from the crawlspace. Her entire time in the bathroom was awkward. Who wouldn't be? Riza was sitting a bathtub full of water in a bathroom that belonged to her superior officer. Once done, she was ready to get out of the bathtub but there was a complication. "Colonel, where are your towels?"

"Out here."

'_Damn.' she thought. "Can you bring me one?"_

Many a thing ran through Roy's mind when he heard what Riza had asked him to do. He quickly grabbed a towel and went to his bathroom door. "I'm coming in." He slowly opened the door and walked in. There slouched down in a water-filled tub was Riza. She was trying to hide as much of her body as she could. At the same time Roy was trying to hide his enjoyment of the scene.

"Close you eyes, sir." She was way embarrassed about Roy having to see her in this state. Roy closed his eyes; he did respect her even without her gun pointed at his head. He was still a ways from her so he had to follow the sound of her voice to the tub. "You can stop there." Roy stopped inches away from her. He held up the towel with his hands creating a barrier between him and her. She got up out of the tub. Water started dripping down her body as she walked out of the tub. Gracefully, she walked into the towel that had held out for her. As soon as she walked into it, Roy's arms closed around her bringing her body against his. Her cheeks flushed at the sudden touch of Roy's chest. She slowly looked up to see a blushing Roy bit by bit opening his eyes. "Umm, sir."

"Sorry about that," he said. She fixed the towel so that it wouldn't fall off of her. He let go of her after being sure that the towel wasn't going to fall and give him a heart attack. After being let go, she clasped onto the towel while she looked directly into Roy's eyes. "I didn't mean to do that. I don't know what came over me. My arms had a mind of their own. I'm sorry."

"It's alright, sir. I forgive you. Now please get out." Roy left the bathroom still blushing. Riza got dressed, well as much as she could. After putting on her bra and underwear on, she wrapped herself up with the towel and walked out to find Roy looking through his closet. "What are you doing, sir?"

"Looking for another shirt for you to wear and you can call me Roy we aren't on duty." Roy searched through his entire closet until he found another suitable dress shirt. He turned around to see a still soaking Riza standing near the bed holding onto the towel. After hanging the shirt on the closet door, he grabbed a nearby towel and walked up to Riza. Immediately he put the towel on her head and started rubbing it. "Now we can't have you dripping all over my hardwood floors."

"Stop that. Let me do it. If you're going to it, not so hard." He paid no attention to her and continued to rub her hair dry. It wasn't until he felt two hands grab onto his wrists that he stopped. He slowly moved back the towel to reveal an angered yet amused Riza. The entire time he was smirking. "I said not so hard. You're hurting my head."

"Sorry. I just want to get you dry." He went back to drying her head. Riza would had protested some more if it wasn't for the fact that her towel was starting to slip. She immediately let go of Roy's wrists and grabbed onto the towel leaving Roy to his self-proclaimed job of drying her hair. '_She looks even better wet and in that towel. Roy, stop that, you can't think of her in that way. She is out of you league. Now just dry her hair and stop thinking of her,' _he thought to himself, all the while smiling. After a few more minutes, Riza's hair was dry, a bit messy but dry. He ran one of his hands through her hair. "There, done."

"Thank you, Roy. Can I have the shirt now? It's getting chilly in this towel." The sudden sound of his name sent a chill down his spine. He had never heard her call him by his first name. It didn't sound weird or forced. It was natural like she had always called him that instead of sir or colonel.

"Sure." He turned around and retrieved the shirt from the closet door. Riza didn't take the shirt. Instead she pushed the shirt back to him and turned him around. Roy protested but easily gave into Riza nudging. "Hey, what are you doing?"

"I can't hold my towel and change into the shirt. You hold onto the shirt and give it to when I ask." After making sure Roy couldn't see her, she removed her towel. As soon as she put it on the bed, the door quickly opened. Riza found herself hiding behind Roy. She was pushed fully against his back. Roy was stiff as a board. He could feel almost all of Riza against him. He could feel her hands on his shoulders, but more importantly her chest against his back. He was completely frozen, immobile, still, motionless. Roy had been close to women like this but it was different with Riza. He had never felt this way.

Standing in the door was a certain blonde alchemist and his armor suit of a brother. They were slightly shocked at the scene before them. After a couple of minutes everyone regained their composure enough to actually speak. Riza, on tiptoes, looked over Roy's shoulders at Ed and Al to find them holding nothing.

"Edward, where is my clothes?"

"Umm, we didn't know what locker was yours."

"Then why did it take you so long to come back here and ask me?"

"Well…it took us awhile to go into the _women's_ locker room."

"Also, we had to hide from the lieutenant colonel on the way back," Al added.

"Do you want to explain what happened here?"

"We'll talk about it later, but it does involve Maes," Roy answered.

"Edward, my locker is number 14. Please bring me my clothes."

"Yes, sir. We will be here as soon as possible."

With that the two left again on the journey of getting Riza's clothes. Roy and Riza were again left in the room alone together but this time in an even more colorful circumstance. Riza was standing in her underwear pressed firmly against Roy's back. The two began to loosen over time. Their muscle relaxed, and they were able to go back to the business at hand. Riza moved away from Roy, much to his discomfort.

"Please give me the shirt," she softly asked him. Roy removed the shirt from its hanger and handed it to her, not turning back. He didn't dare risk turning around to look at Riza. He knew that her gun wasn't too far from where she was standing. If he wanted to look at her it would have to be with her wearing a shirt. Either sight was fine with him. She immediately put the shirt on. The shirt was smaller than the last so it stopped above mid-thigh. That was definitely going to excite Roy. "You can turn around now."

_'This is definitely better than a miniskirt,'_ Roy thought after seeing Riza in another of his shirts. Roy continued to stare at Riza until he felt a gentle hand against his face. He came back int reality to find that it belonged to Riza. She was looking into his eyes with a softness he had never seen in her eyes before. _'What is she doing? Does she feel the same way I do? Am I fingally going to kiss her?'_ he thought as he stared back into her eyes. He was brought out of his thoughts by a sudden pinch of his cheek.

"Quit thinking that sir," Riza said letting go of his cheek. She had caught him staring at her, mainly at her legs. "I'm not going to wear a miniskirt even when you become fuehrer." She went and sat on the bed. Almost immediately she picked up her gun and placed it closer to her signaling Roy that if he had another of those thought he was liable to get a bullet shot near him. Roy went to sit in the chair he was in earlier. Everything had gone back to the way it was before Maes had entered. Silence had filled the room once again, Roy was staring at the door, and Riza was lying on the bed staring at the door.

It was three in the morning already and there was no sign of Ed or Al. Roy was on the verge of falling asleep in his chair. He had his head held up by one of his arms as he stared at the door. His arm began slipping until finally it went out from under him and he jerked back to avoid the chair arm but in doing so banged his head against the wall. He quickly grabbed his head and turned it to face Riza expecting to see her laughing or at least scolding him for his carelessness. Instead he found her sleeping peaceful in his bed. She was asleep on her side facing him. It was then and there that he decided that he was going to sleep. If she was going to sleep, he was too. He went to his closet and grabbed a spare a blanket. On the way back, he caught a sight that made his nose bleed. Riza was curled up; her legs were bent and were brought near the edge of the bed. It gave Roy a perfect view of her legs and butt. '_Why did she have to sleep like that?'_ he thought as he grabbed a tissue from a side table on one side of his bed. After awhile the bleeding stopped. He laid down the blanket as his makeshift bed. But before he went to sleep himself he pulled the covers over Riza and put her gun on the table. '_She looks so cute when she is sleeping.'_

Roy woke up in the most unceremonious way. Riza had fallen off the bed and landed on top of him. He awoke to see two copper eyes staring directly at his.

"Morning, Roy." She lifted herself up off of him just enough to let him breath. "Sorry about that. I usually don't fall out of bed but since it isn't my bed…again sorry." By the end of her apologizing, she was sitting straight up on top of Roy. "Are you alright? You aren't hurt, are you?"

"No, I'm fine." He wasn't entirely paying attention to what Riza was saying. Roy was too busy processing what was going on. Riza was straddling him. She was currently sitting right on top of his crotch and her hands were resting against his stomach. His brain nearly went into mental overload. The entire time Riza was looking at him with concern. Her current position hadn't registered in her mind like it did with Roy. Her concern only lessened when he started to get up. "That was some wake up call. What time is it?"

"Roy, your nose is bleeding." Roy immediately felt her weight shift and was now eye to eye with her chest. Riza was reaching behind him to grab a tissue for his nose. After getting the tissue, she went back to sitting on him. She put the tissue to nose tilting his head back while placing one of her hands on his shoulder. He placed his hands on her waist helping him balance against the pressure. After about a minute the bleeding finally stopped. They were in an even more compromising position then ever. The things that would go through Maes's head if he saw this.

"Umm…Riza." Roy stared into her eyes trying his best to keep from blushing but failing horribly. Just then it dawned on her why Roy was so tense and why his nosed was bleeding. She was chest to chest with him and was sitting on his "special" spot with his hands resting on her waist. She immediately bolted from him, turning around to hide her flustered face. Roy sat on the ground in a slight shock; he had grown comfortable with Riza sitting on him. After regaining his composure, he got off the ground. He went up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders. She gave a slight jump but turned around to face him.

"Sorry, Roy. I didn't know."

"It's alright. Let's just get ready for work."

"Yes."

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Hoped you liked. Leave a review. If you want another chapter just ask. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Do I really have to keep putting this? I don't own them.**

By popular demand, here is the third chapter.

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"I guess they finally found your locker," Roy said after seeing Riza's clothes. Ed and Al had left Riza's clothes folded neatly in the chair that Roy once occupied before he fell asleep. They had come in while the two had slept and placed it there leaving a note saying that Ed was sorry for all the trouble he had caused.

"They could have woken me up," Riza said from her position on Roy's bed.

"They probably didn't want to wake you up," Roy said. "You looked so cute when you were sleeping." Riza immediately started blushing. "Well I'm going to take a shower. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Alright." She began her task of getting ready for work. She took her clothes and laid it out across the bed. Then she proceeded to unbutton the shirt. Within a minute or two, it was completely unbuttoned. Before she went any further in the dressing mission, she went and opened the window. Her face and body were still flushed from the earlier incident involving Roy. Standing at the window she let the cool air caress her body, bringing her temperature back to normal. Time passed as the wind brushed against her, she didn't how long she stood there but her enjoyment of the wind were brought to an end when she hear a voice call for her.

"Riza, can you get me a towel?" The bathroom door was jarred open enough to let half of Roy's body to go through it. There he stood halfway in the bathroom and halfway out. Water shone all over the visible parts of his body. He was dripping all over the place but at that moment it didn't matter. The entire time he was trying to hide his body from Riza. It would have been easier for him to pop his head out but his brain wasn't working and nearly all of him came out of the door before his mind finally caught up with him. His face was completely red from embarrassment. He didn't want Riza to see him like this way, at least not at this point in time. Karma does apparently work.

Riza look like a deer caught in headlights. She stood there standing and staring before she finally moved to grab Roy a towel. Her best bet was the towel she had first worn into the room. Roy, all the while standing partly in the doorway, was enjoying another sight of Riza. Riza was oblivious to the fact that her shirt was unbuttoned giving Roy a perfect view of her body. Her running to the bed only helped him; the movement caused the shirt to fly back allowing Roy to see all of her curves. _'She has a really hot body. No, no, no. For the third time get that thought out of your head. She is forbidden. Just get dressed,'_ he thought as he continued to stare at her. He was only brought out of his thoughts by a towel flying into his face. He quickly wrapped it around his waist before walking out straight to his closet. Riza had gone back to the window to once again cool down.

After cooling down, Riza went back to getting dressed. She stood at Roy's bed in front of her uniform. Seconds later her uniform was joined by another. Roy had thrown his uniform down next to hers and was directly beside her. The two stood nearly shoulder-to-shoulder in almost completely nothing. Both were blushing from that fact alone but neither knew that the other was staring. Riza putting a towel on Roy's head finally broke the tension. She immediately started rubbing his head. Roy was soaking wet from not completely drying off.

"Now we can't have you dripping on your hardwood floors." She was doing what Roy had exactly done to her a few hours earlier.

"Hey! Not so hard."

"Don't be a baby. I'm rubbing you no harder than what you did to me."

"Owww! That's too hard!" He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her close so he could look her in the eyes. Riza completely froze in his hands. She had never before felt his touch against the bareness of her skin. It took her a few seconds loosen back up again and move the towel back to look in his eyes. Roy had a pained look but had managed a smile. "I didn't rub you that hard. Now let's try this again."

"You're such a baby," she said as she went back to work on Roy's hair. Roy's hands remained on her waist as she gently rubbed his hair dry. Their bodies were only inches apart but neither seemed to have noticed. Riza was busy drying Roy's hair, and Roy was enjoying the touch of Riza's skin. Once done, she moved to towel to rest around his neck. Then she flattened his hair with her hands before resting them on his shoulders. "There, done."

They stared into each other's eyes smiling, still not realizing the condition they were in at the moment. His connection to her was abruptly broken when his towel started falling. He instantly grabbed onto his towel. Riza broke away at his sudden movement while following his hands with her eyes to ascertain the reason for the startling break between them. It was then she realized the reason and for some reason or another she started laughing. She tried stifle the laugh but it wasn't doing any good. The sudden laugh had caught Roy off guard. He knew why she was laughing but he had a card to play too. A smirk appeared on his face.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked her.

"Because your towel was about to fall."

"I would stop laughing if I was you."

"Why's that?"

"You should look at what you're wearing…or rather what you're not wearing." The smirk on his face grew evermore bigger at that remark. Riza quickly looked down to see what he was talking about. She was horrified at what she saw. The shirt she was wearing was open revealing everything, well almost everything, to Roy. She immediately brought the fabrics of cloth together and held it tightly closed. She mentally kicked herself for not realizing it when he touched her. Her eyes then went to Roy who all the while was smiling. She glared him down, but he keep the smile on his face.

"You could have told me my shirt was open."

"Correction, it my shirt. And ruin my view, not a chance."

"Pervert."

"And damn proud of it. Besides it's not like I'm the one that unbuttoned it."

"You might as well have. How would you feel being exposed like this?"

"Uhh…Riza, I'm standing here wearing a towel."

"Not any longer," she said pulling the towel away from his waist. As fast as lightning his hands cupped his crotch area and his face was bright red. It was also in shock. Who would have known that Riza would have done that? "How exposed do you feel now, Roy?"

"That's not funny, Riza. Give me back my towel."

"Correction it's my towel. And I find this quite hilarious." Her voice ever so playful as she held the towel in her arms while at the same time keeping her shirt close. Roy, on the other hand, grabbed the towel around his neck with one hand and tried to wrap it around him but to no avail. The corners of the towel barely touched as he held it around him.

"Give me the towel."

"No."

"Give it. That's an order." Being the perfect soldier, at the moment, she gave him the towel or rather she wrapped it around so he wouldn't have to let go of the other towel. Of course with her hands wrapping the towel around Roy, her shirt was left open much to the pleasure of Roy. Riza stepped back from him so that he could reposition the towel to his liking and keep it from falling. She went back to covering her body. She knew that Roy had once again seen her in only her undergarments. "Now, that's better. All that is left to do is give out your punishment for disrobing you superior officer." His voice had a tinge of playfulness to it.

"Punishment? All I did was take my towel back."

"Still, I have to punish you. It wouldn't be fair to the others if I showed favoritism. I know. You have to wear a miniskirt to work today."

"Not going to happen."

"But it's an order from your commanding officer. You have to."

"I'm not going to wear a miniskirt."

"All female officers will wear miniskirts when I become fuehrer, you might as well start now."

"They won't be, not under my watch."

"And what are you going to do about it?"

"Stop you."

"How?" A smile crept onto her face that made him want to run to other side of the country. He followed her eyes when they moved to look at a single point in his room. It was then he figured out what she was looking at. He made a quick head turn to look at his side table and at Riza's gun. Before he could fully turn his head back to look at Riza, she was already on the bed crawling towards the gun. By the time he actually snapped into action mode, Riza had grabbed the gun and was turning to aim it at him. Luckily for him his mind started working and he jumped into action. As Riza was turning around, Roy had grabbed both her wrists and pinned them against the bed. The rest of her body was being weighted down with his body. She had managed to get her legs free but they ended up cradling him at his hips. Even though he was about to get a bullet shot at him, there was still sense of playfulness in him. "Drop the gun, Riza. That's an order."

"Fine." She laid the gun on the bed. With his hand still around her wrist, he moved it to knock the gun onto the ground. He carefully watched it fall, making a clanging noise when it hit the ground. As he watched it fall, he remembered something. _'What if it goes off?'_ he thought, eyes still on the gun. He breathed a sigh of relief when nothing happened aside from the gun giving a slight bounce. Then a confused look came across his face as he turned from the gun to look at Riza. He looked into her eyes hoping to get an answer. Sensing his question, she answered. "The safety is on. I wasn't actually going to shoot you. You haven't done anything wrong, yet." A smile appeared on his face.

"Now that you can't stop me with your gun, my miniskirt rule will come into effect."

"I doubt that. I'll stop you."

"And how will you do that without your gun?"

"With lots of paperwork," she laughed out. As soon as those words were out, Roy started laughing too. He knew in all possibilities that would put a stop to his plan. Riza would swamp him with meaningless paperwork keeping him from ever writing that order. Their laughing was only interrupted by the clicking of a camera. They turned their heads towards the door to find a grinning Maes rapidly taking pictures of them. It then dawned on them about their current position. Roy was laying on top of Riza holding her arms down while she cradled him between her legs. Their chests, stomach, arms, and other various body parts touching each other. The bareness and softness of their skin was felt by both. The movement of their bodies as they breathed in air only intensified those feelings. Their faces were only centimeters away from each other, one simple slip and Roy would end up kissing her. Also throw in the fact that both were wearing practically nothing. Riza was in her underwear with the shirt she was wearing spread open under her, and Roy was in a towel. They looked from Maes down to their bodies and into each other's eyes before returning it back to Maes. Much to their surprise, they didn't see Maes rather the closing of the door.

"Not again," Roy shouted as he let go of Riza's wrists and got off of her. Riza was left on the bed staring at the door. She laid there getting accustomed to the coldness that was covering her body. The warmth that Roy had left on her body from their encounter was slowly leaving her. She turned her to look at Roy and found him looking at her. _'Why did she had to look so sexy laying on my bed like that?' _he thought as he stared at her.Much like Riza, Roy was adjusting to the sudden change in temperature. He was almost tempted to lay back on top of her if it meant feeling that warmth again but opted not to because he had some emergency business to attend to like killing Maes. That and the fact that Riza would hurt him for such an action. Instead he helped her off the bed but because he was standing so close when he pulled her up, she came colliding into him. Riza stood in Roy's embrace; each soaking in the warmth they felt from each other's touch. The moment was broken by Riza. She stayed in his arms resting her head on his shoulder and her hands on his chest but spoke to him.

"We should go after him." He nodded his head in agreement against hers. "But first, we should get dress."

They finally let go of each other, again succumbing to the coldness left from their separation, and stood in front of their slightly wrinkled uniforms, ready to dress. Pants were thrown on, shirts buttoned up, and hairs being combed. During this time they even managed to help each other dress, thinking it would be quicker to get ready. The only thing they didn't help each other with were the pants. Roy removed his shirt from Riza's body and help her into her own. Riza would in turn button up his shirt and tuck it into his pant while he gently brush her hair. Then Riza would comb his hair while he buttoned up her jacket. In the end the two of them left Roy's bedroom with Riza holstering her gun as she exited the door, and Roy following close behind pulling his jacket on.

"I guess it's Maes hunting instead of Edward hunting, now," Riza said running down the hallway.

"Yup."

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Well that chapter took me awhile to write. Hopefully the rating is high enough. AndI hoped you all liked it. Leave a review. The more I get the more likely I will write another chapter.


	4. Chapter 4

Here is the fourth chapter! Sorry it took so long. The fluffiness inside my head was drained during the last three chapters. The fluffiness hasn't completely come back yet, so there isn't as much fluff as I would have liked. The other reason why it took so long was because I didn't know what the hell was going to happen next. Well enough of my talking. Enjoy!

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"Maes come back here this instant," Roy shouted as he chased his dear and soon to be crispy friend down the hallway. It was still early so most of the personnel wouldn't be walking about for another hour. Roy and Riza had split up to cover more ground. Roy had been the lucky one to find Maes casually walking down the hall like nothing had happened. Maes had broke out into a sprint when he figured out that he had been found.

"Come on, Roy. I'm not going to tell anybody about you and Riza."

"There is nothing between me and Riza."

"Then what was going on this morning?"

"That is none of your business." Roy was bright red. The images came flying back to him. Maes had managed to catch Riza and him, not once but twice, in some very friendly positions. And he actually managed to capture the most compromising position in film. That camera was going to get blown to bits one way or another.

"So, something did happen between you two last night. When's the wedding? I'm going to be the best man, aren't I?" Maes would have loved to give Roy a hug and a pat on the back for finally taking his advice if it wasn't for the murderous look that was on Roy's face. Mainly, it was the fact that he had his hand raised, ready to snap. "Was last night a baby-making session? Are going to give Elicia someone to play with?"

Now Maes had really done it. Roy had gone an even bright shade of red after hearing those last two comments. He couldn't hold back his anger any longer. His hand snapped and a stream of fire chased Maes. Maes, being use to this after other countless chases, jumped out of the way. The flames blew the right side of the hall apart and caught a door on fire. By now the other military officers were aware that something was going on.

"What are you trying to do? Kill me!" Maes screamed at he neared the end of the hallway. Roy was only a foot behind him and getting closer.

"If it destroys that camera you have then I'm fine with that," Roy replied. In truth Roy would never seriously hurt his best friend. Maes had done more bad things to Roy than this, well maybe not as worse than this but pretty close. "Now hold still."

Maes wasn't exactly sure if Roy was kidding or not but with that look on his face he was leaning towards not. He picked up his pace and made it towards the end of the hall. It was choice time, right or left. Once he got to the end of the hallway, his choice was already picked out for him, left. Left because he saw Riza coming from the right. She was only two feet from him. She had that same murderous look as Roy. Maes made a quick turn to the left. It was too quick for Roy to follow and he ended up colliding into Riza. They both went tumbling down. Roy found himself laying on top of Riza, again, but this time was a bit different. He was staring into Riza's eyes in shock, and she was doing the same. Laying on the ground they found that their lips were touching each other. They were having their first kiss. It wasn't rough but quite enjoyable, though neither showed it.

Being the ever-observant photographer, Maes was standing at the stairway taking more pictures. The two didn't move to break the kiss or to go chasing after him. Roy was enjoying this the most. He had always wondered what Riza's lips felt like against his, especially from earlier in his room when he was only centimeters from her face. _'Soft,'_ he thought as he kept his lips pressed against hers. Right now he was in pure paradise, although Riza would break that paradise. She gently pushed Roy up at the shoulders breaking the kiss. He should be lucky that she didn't knee him in the groin.

"Umm…sorry," Roy said, disappointed at the sudden break in his pleasure. He propped himself on his elbows to give her more room to breathe. His eyes continued to stare into hers. He was lost in those copper eyes. If even given the chance he would gaze into those eyes all day.

"It's alright. It was an accident." Riza wasn't in fantasyland like Roy. She liked the kiss and all, but she had to be realistic. The things that were happening between the two of them were strictly forbidden. "Sir, are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine," he said jumping back into reality.

"Can you get off me then?"

"Right." He moved back so that he was sitting on her legs straddling them. She had moved up so that she was in a sitting position. Once again, Roy found his face close to Riza. He had to hold back the urge to lean forward and kiss her right then and there. And this time it wouldn't be an innocent kiss if he had his way. All the while, Maes was sitting on the top stair taking as many pictures as he could. He was going to enjoy showing these to everyone especially those from earlier. Well maybe not everyone, Elicia shouldn't see those types of pictures. Roy was starting to stand and he took Riza's hand so that he could pull her up with him. Just as he was about to straighten his legs to completely stand up, there was a loud explosion behind him. It sends the two of them back down onto the ground. Yet again, Roy was on top of Riza. "What was that?"

They looked back to where the explosion had come from. There were flames engulfing the hallway. Roy had accidentally set the ammunitions room on fire when he sent his flames against the wall. There wasn't enough time for the two of them to get up and run. Roy quickly covered Riza with his body before the flames consumed them. Maes was panicking like crazy. He jumped or rather went tumbling down the stairs to escape the flames. Others who had heard the commotion were running our like idiots trying to get away from the fire. Lucky for all of them there were two water alchemists there. They quickly put the flames out. Smoke filled the entire floor making everyone cough.

"Roy! Riza!" Maes screamed as he made his way back up the stairs. He was terrified that they didn't make it. He saw the flames surround them before he went ungracefully down the stair. The smoke was hindering his search for them. Following the wall with his hand, he walked back to where he had last seen them. He could hear the coughing of the military personnel all around him. Deep within him, he hoped that some of the coughing was from coming from them. _'Please be alright,'_ he thought as he continued his journey to find his lost friends. The entire time he was holding his camera at his side.

"Brace yourselves," he heard in the distance. Then there was a great gust of wind and the smoke that filled the halls was gone. Apparently there was also a wind alchemist present. She had opened a window and used her powers to move it outside. Now that the smoke was gone, Maes could look for his friends. It didn't take him long to find them. They were on the ground a few feet away from him. He was glad to hear them coughing.

"Are you alright?" Roy said between coughs as he propped himself up to look into her eyes. Riza nodded in response as she continued to cough. Roy then dropped his head down so that it was beside hers, touching ever so softly against each other. "That's good. I don't know what I would do if I lost you."

"Are you two alright?" Maes said as he dropped to his knees about a foot away from them. It looked like he was on the verge of tears.

"Yes, we are fine," Riza answered turning to face him. Roy stayed in his current position, on top of Riza with his head beside hers. "Are you?'

"Yeah, I made down the stairs before the fire got too close to me." Maes had regained most of his composure, meaning he wasn't going to burst into tears and start hugging them. "How come there isn't I a single scorch mark on either of you?" It was interesting that neither of them look like they were caught in the middle of that inferno. The people around them had minor burns and a couple of scratches but these two came out unscathed. Riza didn't know. The entire time Roy was covering her. The only knowledge she had was that it was extremely hot. Roy heard the question and readjusted himself so he could explain it to Maes and whoever else wanted to know. He scooted down Riza's body a bit so that he could lay his head down on her chest, just below her chin. It laid there facing Maes's face. Riza didn't complain about his sudden shift or the position he had taken. She knew he was tired and left him be.

"After I covered Riza, I quickly created a thin layer of air that lacked oxygen. No oxygen, no fire. It was basically a shield to protect us. I used a lot of my energy to keep that shield up while at the same time making sure that we had enough oxygen in our little shell to breathe. Good thing I know a lot about fires and air or else we'd be burnt to a crisp."

"Yeah," Maes replied relieved. Seconds later, he had that grin of his on his face. "So how long are you going to stay like that, Roy?"

"I don't know; it's very soft," he answered jokingly. "I might have to stay here until I fully recover from so much energy loss."

"I'll give you to the count of three to get off me."

"Come on, Riza," Roy said as moved so he could look her in the eyes. "I just saved you. A few minutes to get some strength back wouldn't hurt."

"One…two…"

"Oh crap, she's serious. Maes, help me up!" Roy was telling the truth when he said he used a lot of his energy. He couldn't really move. Maes quickly jumped into action. He grabbed Roy under the arms and pulled him up with all his might. Roy went back into Maes while he tried to get some footing to avoid falling. After a while, Maes had managed to pull Roy up. He slung one of Roy's arms across his shoulder and held him up at the waist with one of his arms. Once Roy was completely off of her, Riza got up with her gun in hand. She cocked it and aimed it at them. "Wait!"

She started to pull the trigger. Maes and Roy saw this and started screaming. Their screams were silenced by the sound of gunshots. Seconds later there was nothing. They opened their eyes to see Riza with her gun pointed down at the ground. They looked down at the ground to see what she shot. Maes nearly fainted when he saw it. Laying near them was pieces of what was once Maes's camera. They moved their view from the scattered pieces back to Riza.

"Thought I'd finish what we started earlier." Riza lifted her head so that her eyes were looking back at Roy and Maes. She then reloaded her gun with a new clip. Roy and Maes stared at her in disbelief, mainly Maes. _'If she did that to a camera, what the hell was she going to do to me?'_ Maes thought as he stared at her. The men and women, who were still in the hall, stared at her in shock. None of them were going to say anything; they'd rather not have to face Riza at the moment so they just stood there. Riza moved closer to Roy and Maes until she was standing in front of Roy. Roy would have bolted if he had enough strength to. The new clip in her gun was making him nervous. He would have been less anxious if she wasn't still holding a gun and looking like she was going to hurt him. Surprisingly to the cowering men, she holstered her gun and helped support Roy. She took his remaining arm and put it around her shoulder. Then she put her arm around his waist to support him. "Let's get you to the infirmary." They both nodded still slightly in shock. They began walking towards the infirmary. The others followed suit. They helped those that were hurt. All of them were walking behind Roy, Riza, and Maes. "Roy?"

"Yes, Riza."

"Keep you hand to yourself next time or I'm breaking it." Roy blushed deeply and turned his face away from her only to see a grinning Maes. _'But it was only a quick squeeze. Naughty, naughty Roy. You should have known better then to grab her butt. I know. I should have aimed higher.' _he thought. Maes knew what Roy had done even if he didn't see what happened. In truth a lot of military officers saw what Roy had done, that was the reason why most of them were walking a few feet behind them. They'd rather not get in the crossfire if Riza decided to pull out her gun.

In the infirmary, Roy was the first to be checked out, diagnosis: he was low on energy. He was ordered to stay in his hospital bed until he was well enough to walk. Riza was checked next. She had a simple cough but was still ordered to stay in one of the hospital beds. Maes was fine since he didn't come into contact with the fire. He went to inform people about what was happening and what they were to do. The entire infirmary was filling up with the injured. There weren't enough beds for everyone. Many ended up sitting on the floor. Those who weren't severely burned had to wait until a bed cleared. But there were so many with burned. Roy laid there looking at all the pain he had caused. He knew it was an accident but he was still to blame. It was his flames that caught the ammunitions room on fire. There he laid perfectly unharmed. Just then the doctor walked in with a severely burned lieutenant. He looked around for a bed but all was filled. Roy knew what he had to do.

"He can have my bed."

"But you need your rest," the doctor protested. The lieutenant shook his head no. He didn't want to take a superior officer's bed even if he needed it. Roy needed to think of something; the man needed the bed. He looked over to Riza who was in the bed next to his. Riza knew what he was thinking and scooted over so that would be enough room for him. It was for a good cause might as well endure something.

"It's alright. He can have it." Before they could protest he got up, stumbled to Riza's bed, and stand down. He then laid down next to her. His eyes were still on the doctor and lieutenant motioning him that it was alright for him to have the bed. After a short moment, the lieutenant laid down on. Roy turned his eyes to look at the ceiling. He made a quick look at Riza through the corner of his eyes. She was scanning the infirmary, looking everyone in there. It seemed that he was the only one that felt slightly uncomfortable about sharing a bed. "Sorry for putting you through this."

"It's alright. We've been in more colorful positions than this." That was the truth. They was only laying in bed together, and they were fully clothed. Roy laughed at statement. He soon began to loosen up and fell asleep. Riza fell asleep shortly after him. It was only morning and they had a years worth of excitement. No one said anything of them sharing a bed, not the doctors, nurses, patients, or even the higher-ups who came to check on things. They had been put through enough with being caught in the middle of the fire. In actuality it gave the doctors the idea to have two people to a bed so that they could be treated better. Men shared a bed with other men and women shared it with other women. They laid so that they looked at each other from opposite ends of the bed. Roy and Riza we the only exception. No one wanted to wake them up especially since her gun and his glove were a short distance away from them.

Later in the day, Maes came back to visit them. It shocked him when he saw them sleeping together not because of their position but it was in front of a couple dozen people. Then he noticed that the other patients paid no attention to them. He did the only thing his mind could think of; he pulls out a camera from inside his military jacket. With a grin on his face, he began taking more pictures of them. The other patients just stared at him. All knew who he was and decided not to say anything. If they did, then photos of his daughter would barrage them. After he finished the roll of film, he stood there and looked at his sleeping friends. Neither wore their military jacket; those were hanging off the footboard. Riza was asleep on her back. She took the right side of the bed. Her face was tilted to the left. She had taken her hair down. Her right arm was beside her body while the other rested across her stomach. Roy laid to her left. He was asleep on his stomach. His face was only a few centimeters from Riza's face. They were basically sharing the same air. His left arm was hanging off the side of the bed and his other rest across Riza's body, just below the chest. Their legs were slightly intertwined.

"Nothing between them. Hah!" Maes left the infirmary smiling as big as he could. It was time for him to develop his roll of film.

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Good? Bad? Leave a review! Chapter 5 may take just as long since I have no clue what to write. Sorry, but remember I didn't originally have this as a story. I'm just winging it. Well I'm off to write about Chapter 5 or at least come up with an idea for it. See ya! 


	5. Chapter 5

Hey! I'm finally here with the next chapter. In truth this was completed on Labor Day. I figured I'd annoy The Mr. Clean Alchemist for the threatening review she left me and waited a couple of days to post it. Don't worry she was only kidding, I hope. Sorry to everyone else. I was tempted not to post for another two weeks but that wouldn't be fair to my other readers. To make it up to you other guys I made sure that the chapter was extra long. Over 4500 words. Enjoy!

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Maes is returning to Roy's and the other's office after developing his film. The pictures were carefully kept in his inner jacket's pocket. He was left in charge of HQ since a certain somebody was still in the infirmary with his lieutenant. The image of Roy and Riza sleeping together popped back into his head. _'I should have brought more film with me. At least I brought an extra camera.'_ he thought as he continued to replay last night's incident up to a couple hours ago in his head. The grin grew evermore wider as the images came into his mind. _'I knew those two would get together. It just took a little pushing on Roy's part, okay a lot of pushing but hey I got them together.'_

The office was in utter chaos. There were stacks of papers filling the office of Roy's subordinates and Roy's adjoining office. Maes could hardly see anyone in the office. The stacks were towering Fuery by at least a foot. They surrounded Breda and Falman. Havoc, well Havoc seemed to have disappeared in the swarm of papers, although a wisp of smoke coming up from some papers allowed Maes to spot him in the corner.

"Havoc, put that cigarette out this moment," he shouted out to Havoc. The papers around him moved signifying that he was startled. Havoc moved around the papers so that he and Maes could see each other eye to eye.

"But why? Mustang and Hawkeye aren't here."

"Do you want another fire? Do you want to do more paperwork?" Havoc gave it a thought. Should he keep smoking and risk another fire and more paperwork or should he put it out and deal with tobacco withdrawal. He was about to go for the former until he saw Maes's face. "Put it out or I'll bring out the pictures." Havoc immediately put it out in a nearby ashtray and tossed his pack of cigarettes to Fuery. That way he wouldn't be tempted to light one up. Maes had his victorious smile on him as he walked to Roy's office. Too bad Maes didn't make it that far. He bumped into some of the stacks of paper and was engulfed in them. Only his frantically moving legs were visible to the others; the others sweat dropped at the scene. "A little help!" came muffled out the papers. Fuery and Havoc grabbed one of his legs while Falman and Breda grabbed the other. With one almighty pull, Maes was out sprawled across the floor gasping for air. After a while he finally regained his composure and got to his feet. He made his way into Roy's office without any further incident. Once there he called for everyone to enter.

"Is something wrong, sir?" Fuery asked from the seat in front of Maes. Maes had opted to sit on Roy's desk after pushing some papers back. He decided it would be better than braving the stacks of papers on the ground. "Is there something wrong with Colonel Mustang or Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"No, they're fine. Better than fine I do say." Maes had that grin of his, that ever so creepy grin on his face. It frightened the others but they tried to remain composed. They cowered a bit but stared into his eyes trying to hide their fears. The main thing going through their heads was what was Maes thinking. That was soon answered. "I brought you all here to show you some pictures I just got developed."

Everyone in the room basically sweat dropped. Once they went back to normal, they tried to make a break for it. They all knew what kind of man Maes was when it came to pictures and his daughter, although this time it doesn't involve Elicia. Maes was a clever man and had managed to close the door before they got there. All those times running away from a fuming Roy had paid off. They were trapped and at the mercy of a fanatic father.

"No, sir!" Havoc begged. The others were pleading as well but none were as loud as Havoc. He had endured more torture than the rest; thanks to Roy locking his office door whenever he knew Maes was coming leaving Maes with him. "Please no more pictures!"

"Relax, they aren't of my daughter. Roy convinced Glacier to take all my pictures of Elicia away, only for this visit. I think you would like to see these."

"Fine, but one picture of Elicia and I'm out of here." Havoc let go of Maes's leg that he had grabbed during his pathetic begging. He got up, recomposed himself, and prepared for the onslaught of pictures. The others were preparing themselves as well. Maes kept a smile on his face as he reached into his jacket to pull out the pictures. Once in hand, he held out a picture in front of the four men. They all stood in shock with their mouths open. "You have got to be freakin' kidding me. Mustang and Hawkeye, in bed together?"

"If you don't believe me, you can go check for yourself. They should still be in the infirmary." Hearts were coming out from nowhere and surrounding Maes. He could barely keep his excitement to himself. The entire time he was trying to stay still on the desk. "It's about those two got together. Every since I caught them last night, I knew something else was bound to happen. I just wish that Riza didn't destroy my other camera then you would have seen a sight."

"You caught them last night?" came shockingly out of Fuery. "Where?"

"In his room. I think it was close to three in the morning." Falman, Fuery, Breda, and Havoc exchanged glances between each other. They knew that they left Roy and Riza alone last night but didn't expect anything to have happened. Maes saw the look and all of their faces. It confused him a bit but he figured that it was a shock that their beloved friends would risk so much to be together. _'Damn fraternization rule.' _"Don't worry nothing really happened. I just caught Roy holding a half-naked Riza in his arms." They seemed to breathe an air of relief. The memory of Riza in Roy's shirt came back to them. That seemed to relieve them even more. Then the fact of Riza being in Roy's arm was easily explained. Maes always did burst into a room unannounced. The next thing they thought of was if Maes knew of the surprise birthday party. They looked at him and noticed no hint of the beans being spilled. There was another inner sigh of relief.

"I guess we are going to have to go check on them," Havoc finally said. The fraternization rule gave them an excuse to go to Roy and Riza, that way they could find out what happened last night. "We have to make sure these aren't fake and if they aren't fake then we have to make sure that no one important catches them."

"Right," Falman piped in. They all walked to the door leaving Maes alone in the colonel's paper filled office. Once they got to the hallway, Havoc, Breda, and Fuery took off running towards the infirmary. Falman didn't immediately break into a sprint. First he yelled to Maes, "make sure you finish your paperwork, sir," before he ran to catch up with the others.

Maes looked around the office. His face paled when he took in a complete view of the office. He never noticed the papers that were behind the door, couch, and desk or those on the file cabinets. A soft "damn" came from him before he jumped into Roy's chair. He didn't start on the paperwork; he had other ideas. One way or another, he was going to find a way to get Roy and Riza married. After moving some of the papers on Roy's desk, he made a phone call.

Back in the infirmary, Roy and Riza continued to sleep together. They were in a different position this time. Riza had turned onto her side, facing away from Roy. Her right arm was now draped over her stomach while the other rested near the pillow. Roy felt the shift and moved closer to her. He was on side now too. The arm that was once laying lifeless off the bed was now under her neck, barely touching the hand there. The other remained across her stomach, right below her own arm. He pulled her close to him until their entire bodies were touching. His head against the back of her neck, resting gently on her hair. They were basically in the infamous spooning position.

"I can't believe it," Havoc said in shock when he saw the two in bed. The others shortly joined him, filing behind him. Everyone's face was in shock. Their jaws nearly dropped to the ground. There laying in front of them was the womanizer Roy and no-nonsense Riza sleeping together, where people can see them no less. The group broke apart as they approached the bed. Havoc and Breda went to Roy's side while Fuery, who was carrying Hayate after they had got him from Riza's room, and Falman went to Riza's. "I guess we should wake them."

Havoc gently shook Roy but got no response. He then started shaking him harder. Still no response. He was on the verge of smacking him upside the head but was stopped by Breda. Breda didn't want to get in the crossfire when Roy wakes and decides to start another fire. Falman and Fuery were having better luck. A gentle shake from Falman and Riza started to wake. Her eyes were slowly opening. Those of her dogs greeted them. Riza was a bit confused and slowly sat up. Roy's arm that was around her was now laying across her lap. Riza looked around to see Havoc, Breda, Falman, and Fuery staring at her. She finally jumping out of her sleepiness and figured out why they were staring. There was a lot of explaining to be done.

"So Hawkeye, anything you want to tell us?" Havoc said still trying to wake up Roy but still failing horribly. Riza reach over and picked up her. It scared everyone, not just the gang but also doctors, nurses, and other patients. Riza only held her gun to shoot somebody or threaten Roy. Seeing as Roy is asleep, Havoc believed that he was going to get a bullet shot at him for his obvious question. But the bullet never came at him instead Riza put her gun near Roy's head and clicked off the safety.

"I'm doing my paperwork! Don't shoot me!" Roy shouted as he jolted into a sitting position. The entire time his eyes were closed. His eyelids slowly began to lift and after a while they were finally open. He took his sweet time opening them. He is looking around the room to find everyone staring at him. There was a slight blush across his face when he figured what had happened. He looked to his right to find Havoc and Breda staring at him, while they sat on another patient's bed, and trying to hold back a snicker. The other patient had gone back to what they were doing. Roy then looked to his left to find his gun wielding Riza sitting next to him. Standing next to her was Falman and Fuery with Hayate in his arms. It finally came back to him what had happened that morning.

"Now that we are both awake, I believe there is a lot of explaining to do." Riza moved herself so that she was propped up against the headboard with the pillows supporting her back. Roy followed suit. Fuery sat down on the end of the bed. Hayate immediately bound for Riza when Fuery sat down. Havoc and Falman were still standing. Breda was two beds away; he was still afraid of Hayate.

"That's an understatement," came from Havoc.

"No kidding," was said by Breda.

"So does this mean you two are together?" Fuery shyly asked.

"No, we would never to that; it's against regulations," Riza said. That prompted Roy to frown but he tried his best to hide it. "Let me explain it from the start." After nearly an hour of talking, Riza finished explaining everything to them up to the moment when they found them in bed, excluding the towel incident although she did have to explain how Roy got on top of her. "And that is what happened."

"So the fire was Colonel Mustang's fault," Falman said rubbing his chin lightly. Roy and Riza nodded in response. "And the colonel gave up his bed so you two ended up sharing one." Again they nodded. "So does the lieutenant colonel know anything about the party?"

"No," Riza replied. "He believes that the colonel and I are together."

"Good, we can use that to our advantage. It'll be a good way to keep him distracted while we set everything up."

"I guess we are going to have to change the plans a bit," Roy said. He shifted a little to get more comfortable, meaning he was trying to get closer to Riza. She noticed but paid no attention to it. "So here is what we are going to do." After what seem like another hour, they had completely revised their entire plan. "Now that that is through, let's put the plan into motion." He swung his legs until they were hanging over the bed. He made a move to jump off the bed but was quickly stopped by Riza pulling him back by his shoulders.

"Sir, you can't," she protested. Roy was seated on the bed with Riza firmly gripping his shoulders. "You're not well enough to walk."

"I'm fine," he said with a slightly tinge of sadness. Riza had called him "sir" instead of "Roy" and it made him feel distance from her. She had gone back to soldier mode. "Just watch." He managed to break free from Riza's grasp and jumped up to a standing position. That didn't last long. Once his feet touch the ground, he fell flat on his face. Riza shook her head in disappointment while the others tried to refrain from laughing. "A little help."

Breda grabbed one arm while Havoc grabbed the other, and they picked up Roy throwing him back on the bed. Conveniently his head landed in Riza's lap. Roy looked into her eyes to find a stern yet concerned look in them. He knew he was going to be in some trouble for his idiocy but the concern in her eyes meant it wasn't going to be so bad. He couldn't help but smirk at the position he was in now. That smirk didn't last long because Riza smacked him upside the head. Everyone couldn't hold back their laughing anymore and the infirmary exploded with laughter. Hayate had joined in with his barking. Leave it to Roy to let the one person who can do anything to him without consequence punish him in front of an audience, at least she didn't use her gun.

"I told you that you weren't well enough to walk," Riza scolded Roy. Roy winced at the loudness in her voice that only went away when she stopped yelling at him. She gave a sigh of relief that he didn't further injure himself while she gently rubbed the area she smack easing the pain. Her sudden gentleness shocked everyone into silence even Roy. Although the next thing she did didn't shock them. She smacked him upside the head in exactly the same place. "Idiot!"

"Sorry," was all that Roy could say. He felt even sorrier when he saw a gun pointed at him. By now the other patients had turned away or hid under their covers. The doctors and nurses went about their business or at least tried to look like it. Roy quickly shot up, almost falling off the bed, waving his hands defensively. Breda and Havoc jumped out of her line of fire and stood at the foot of the bed. "Hawkeye, please don't shoot. I'm still an injured man."

"I should shoot you but we need you for Maes's birthday party," Riza said putting her gun back on the side table. Relieved, Roy laid back down beside her. Riza scooted away a bit and nearly fell off the bed. Good thing Falman was there to prevent the fall. "Beside if anyone should be leaving it's me. I'm not as injured as you."

"But Lieutenant you still haven't fully recovered," Fuery spoke as he stood next to Falman preventing her from getting up. Hayate sat on Roy's lap pulling at her shirt trying to keep her from getting up. "You breathed in a lot of smoke and that can't be good for you. Look at Havoc, he smokes."

"Hey!" Havoc shouted.

"You should listen to them," said a nearby doctor.

"Really?" Havoc asked.

"Well, I was referring to the lieutenant," the doctor said. "But I guess you should, too. Smoking is bad for you. You should stop."

"I'll stop when I die."

"Have it your way. Now back to important things, Lieutenant Hawkeye, you still need to stay in bed. We don't know what damage to your lungs the smoke did; it'd be best if you got some more rest. The two of you should be well enough to leave tomorrow morning."

"Please listen to the doctor," Fuery pleaded. Slowly but surely Riza agreed and moved so that she laid down next to Roy. Hayate had moved himself to the foot of the bed where Havoc was. Breda, terrified of him, was two beds away. He had forgotten about Hayate's presence until the dog was licking his hand.

"I guess we will have to start the plan tomorrow," Havoc started. "Besides Hughes's birthday isn't for a couple more days and you two need your rest."

"Right," Falman agreed. "You two should get some sleep. I'll tell Edward and Alphonse about the change in plans, and we'll deal the lieutenant colonel."

"Oh no, we left him alone in the office." Fuery was panicking. If there was one thing everyone knew it was never leave Maes alone in your office. He was bound to decorate it in his own special way. "The room is probably filled with pictures by now."

"I thought his wife took them away," Havoc said.

"There are those pictures of Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye," Falman commented.

"What pictures!" Riza and Roy screamed.

"The ones he took while you two were sleeping," Fuery shyly said. "It's one of the reasons we came by. He showed them to us."

"I thought you destroyed his camera," Roy said shocked.

"He must have had another one," Riza replied trying to keep a calm face.

"Ugh…without his pictures of Elicia he going to show everyone those pictures," Roy said as he shook his head with one of his hands buried in his hair. "We're never going to live this down."

"Well, we better leave you two to your much needed rest," Havoc said as he and the others tried to sneak out before they were pulling into another mission. It was getting late and they needed to get some things done. They only got as far as the door before a bullet shot pass them.

"Get those pictures," Riza ordered them.

"Yes, ma'am," they all said before leaving the room.

Riza placed the gun back on the side table and laid back down. Things were getting worse and worse for her…and Roy. First the guys see her in a towel. Then they see her in one Roy's shirt. Next Maes catches them together and jumps to conclusions, twice. Also there was the fire and then there was them having to share a bed. Now there were the pictures. Could things get any worse? Definitely, things could definitely get worse. Right now she shouldn't be bother by these things. She needed to get better and then deal with it.

"Riza?" She was brought out of her thinking by Roy's simple use of her name. A quick turn of her head and she was looking at Roy. His head was lowered so she couldn't see his face.

"Yes," she replied trying to look him in the eyes. There was a somber atmosphere around him. He was deep in thought. The events of last and today were finally catching with him. He seemed a little sad about them though. In his mind, he thought that Riza was regretting everything that had happen to them by the attitude she had when she explained everything to the others. She said that they would never get together. The one woman he loved wouldn't return his feelings. He held back his emotions in front the others but now that they were gone there wasn't a point anymore.

"Are you okay with this?"

"With what?"

"Sharing a bed with me."

"It's fine."

"And about this morning?"

Riza was confused about the question. What did he mean by this morning? They had gone through so much that it was hard for Riza to pinpoint the event that he was referring to. She scanned her mind analyzing every event. Then she finally figured out what he meant by this morning. A slight blush creep onto her face. She had almost completely forgotten about that event. She took a quick scan of the room to find that they were the only ones awake. The doctors and nurse had left shortly after Havoc and the others did. It felt like they were the only two souls there. She leaned in closer to Roy.

"Roy, it was a nice kiss," she whispered into his ear before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. She immediately turned away and laid on her side. Her entire face was now scarlet. Roy sat there in a stupor with brightly red cheeks. _'Did she just kiss me?' _he thought as he lifted his hand to touch the place where he felt her lips. He then looked at Riza who was trying her best imitation of Sleeping Beauty. His mood improved greatly. He had a smile on his face, a smile not a smirk. _'Does this mean she has the same feelings as me? Well, let's see.'_

"Goodnight, Riza," Roy whispered into her ear after tucking some strands of her hair behind it. He then spooned up behind her. His left arm gently slid under Riza's neck, after she slightly lifted her head to let him, and his right found its way back around her stomach. She stiffened a bit but quickly relaxed in his arms and allowed him to pull her closer. Roy gave her featherlike kisses on the back of her neck. It sent a jolt down her spine. It was now or never for Roy. He was going to find out if Riza loved him like he loved her. The arm that was wrapped around her stomach slowly descended until reached the bottom of her shirt. Cautiously, very cautiously he slid his hand under it; her gun was only a few inches away after all. Riza immediately stiffen but made no attempt to go for her gun. So he took this as a sign for him to continue. He was smiling the entire time his hand progressed upwards. He always did like the feel of Riza's skin against his. So far no obstacles for Roy. Riza had her hands near her face so there was nothing stopping him from his goal. Just as he about reached his goal a sharp, shearing pain in his hand stopped him. The pain was too much for him to take; he started whimpering. His forehead was pressed firmly against Riza's neck.

"Ow," was all that Roy had managed to say. Riza then grabbed the bottom of her shirt and smoothly pulled it up until Roy's hand was revealed, meaning she pulled it up to just below her chest. There on his hand was a growling Hayate. He had his mouth firmly clamped down on Roy's hand. Fuery had left him there and Riza had motioned Hayate to attack the roaming hand. What a good dog. He chomped down even harder when Roy tried to pull his hand away. "Riza, a little help."

"What did I say about keeping your hands to yourself?" Riza asked sitting up. Roy followed suit. Riza then set Hayate on her lap to help ease Roy's pain even if a little.

"You'll break them if I don't. Well, you're not breaking it, are you? No, your dog is using it as a chew toy. I see why Breda is afraid of dogs."

"Well, I can't break your hands, you need them to do your paperwork. With Hayate chewing on it, you get the pain but are still able to use it."

"Fine, fine. I learned my lesson. Now get him off my hand."

"Let go, Hayate." He immediately let go. The dog was obedient after all. Riza gave him a small pat and his tail started wagging like crazy. He always did like getting praised by his master. Roy looked at his poor, chewed up hand. Hayate's teeth didn't break the skin but there were little indentations all over it. His hand hurt like crazy. How could a dog so small cause so much damage? Riza could see the pain in his face so she took his hand in hers. Roy immediately pulled it away thinking that she was going to give it back to Hayate because the dog was jumping up for it. She quickly figured out what he was thinking and motioned for Hayate to sit at the foot of the bed. Then she took his hand again. Roy was surprised when Riza started massaging his hand so gently. His pain started to get less and less, and cheeks went redder and redder. "So what did we learn?"

"Keep my hands to myself."

"Good boy. So how does your hand feel?"

"Better."

"Now, how 'bout we get some sleep?" Roy nodded his head in agreement while Riza gave him his hand back. She then laid back down on her side. Roy laid down behind her but was hesitant to wrap his arm around her since Hayate was still eyeing his hand. That was quickly remedied when Riza grabbed his arm and placed it around her waist. The entire time Roy was watching Hayate but the dog didn't move. He just went to sleep. Relieved thatHayate wasn't going to bite him again, he wrapped his arm tighter around her and pulled her closer. By then Riza had fallen into a peaceful sleep. _'Well, she cares about me that much I know. But what about love? I guess I'll find out tomorrow.' _Roy breathed in her scent and gave her a kiss on the neck before he fell asleep himself.

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Yay! I finished another chapter but still have no clue on what is going to happen next. Sigh. I'll come up with something. Seriously Gaby, I'll think of something. Oh yeah, I know that Gracia is the name of Maes's wife but I always have it as Glacier in my all stories because it was the first name I saw associated with her.I miss the episode of her introduction first time around but saw some pics of her with the name Glacier Hughes under it so it kind of stuck. Sorry if it confuses anyone.Well, I better start thinking of chapter 6. Let's go creativity. Do your job. Reviews help, so start dishing thoses out. 


	6. Chapter 6

Yippee! It's another long chapter. Over 5200 and that's without the author note. I have no clue where this idea came from. It sort of just popped into my head. Oh well, you guys are probably just happy to get another chapter. Okay, before we get to the story, I would like to say thank you to all of those that reviewed. Crystal, I pride myself in proofreading each chapter multiple times before uploading it although there are still mistakes in it. To Helen, there will be another night scene between Roy and Riza. I already had that in mind. And to everyone else, jump for joy, I actually have a very, very vague idea of what will happen. I have various scenes like the night scene floating in my head. I just have to figure out how to put them together to form a chapter. Okay, enough of my rambling. Enjoy the chapter!

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Very early the next morning, Maes snuck down the hallway into the infirmary for another photo opt. He needed more pictures to hang up in their office. The others had somehow gone missing last night though he suspected it was Havoc's and the other's doing. Like catlike properties, Maes crept into the infirmary doorway with his camera firmly in his hand. Roy and Riza's bed was near the middle of the room so he had to do much crawling to avoid their eyes if they woke up that instant. He crawled on all fours with the camera hanging from its strap that was conveniently in his mouth.

"Why did they have to sleep in that bed?" he complained, the words coming out muffled because of the strap in his mouth. He continued his short journey to the foot of their bed. All in all, the time it took him to crawl from the door to the bed was no less then ten minutes. "Why couldn't they have chosen a bed closer to the door?"

Cautiously, Maes peeked up from to ground to find the two still sleeping peacefully together. That was expected, it was four in the morning. Without making a sound, he stood up and took the camera away from his mouth and into his hand. Much like before he began snapping away. He only stopped every once and a while to admire his dear friends in their calm sleep, sleep that he should still be getting if he wasn't the crazed photographer he was. He liked this sight better than the last time he saw them. At least this time, he had a better view of their faces.

Roy and Riza were situated in the middle of the bed. Roy was still on the left, and Riza on the right. The covers were pulled up to rest under Riza's arms and just below Roy's chest. Roy was laying on his back this time. His head rested slightly on Riza's head. One arm was wrapped protectively around her shoulders. The other was bent so that his hand could gently hold onto her arm near the elbow. Riza slept half on him and half in his arm. Her head laid on his chest tucked just under his chin. One arm laid across his chest, angled so that her hand encased his shoulder. The other had disappeared into the pillows.

Maes was only brought out of his trance when Roy began to move. He quickly dropped to the ground, sitting in an almost fetal position. The seconds passed and there was no more sudden movements. Carefully and cautiously, Maes looked up from his position. His head could barely be seen sneaking up from the foot of the bed. Everything from his eyes up was all that could be seen. The footboard provided excellent cover for him. He found that nothing really changed aside from Roy's arm moving from Riza's shoulder to her waist. His fingers were gently running up and down her body before resting on her waist. It was then that Maes noticed something different about Riza. _'Has Riza been gaining some weight?' _he thought. _'It almost looks like she's…pregnant! Roy, you sly dog.' _Before he could completely finish his thought Riza began to stir. She was gently nuzzling her head against his neck. _'Maybe I better get out of here before they wake up and I get hurt.' _With that, Maes crawled out of the room. After standing up and stretching his entire body, he made his way out the hallway towards his room. He would get the pictures developed when the store opened up.

It was around three hours later that Maes had the pictures developed and was on his way back to Roy's office. Along the way he caught sight of Havoc. Instantly, he had those pictures in front of Havoc. As usual, Havoc was trying was trying to break free but Maes had a death grip on him and dragged him into Roy office, pictures still in hand. So in the end, Havoc gave up and started looking at the pictures. He almost fainted when he saw the pictures.

"So you're thinking the same thing I am," Maes said as he guided Havoc into a nearby seat. Havoc was weak in the knees and nearly took down Maes with him. "Riza looks pregnant, doesn't she?" All that Havoc managed was a nod. The images were too much for his mind to take. "I didn't think they would get this far. Guess we're going to be uncles."

"But she didn't look pregnant yesterday," Havoc had finally managed to say.

"But look at the picture. Look at how Roy's hand is rubbing it. She's definitely pregnant."

"I have to see this for myself." Havoc bolted with one of the pictures, leaving Maes stunned. That only lasted a few seconds. He was literally jumping for joy after Havoc left. Havoc was running at full speed down the hall. Along the way, he bumped into Falman and Breda. After showing them the picture, they were pretty much sprinting with Havoc. Actually, their jaws dropped first follow by two "I can't believe it" before they started running. About four hallways away from the infirmary they nearly crashed into Fuery. He was bringing Roy and Riza their breakfast. Moments later everyone was dashing to the infirmary. "I can't believe we didn't see it yesterday."

"Well, yesterday, she didn't look pregnant," Falman said trying to keep up.

"Are we absolutely sure that Lieutenant Hawkeye is pregnant?" Fuery said as he ran behind Falman, trying to keep the food on the tray. "Yesterday, they said that they weren't even dating."

"They must have lied," Breda said.

"I seriously doubt that," Fuery retorted. "At least Lieutenant Hawkeye wouldn't."

"We'll find out in a couple of seconds," Havoc yelled back to the others.

They came to a screeching halt in front of the infirmary door. After letting the nurses out to do their jobs, they made their way to Roy and Riza. They were still asleep in each other's arms. Havoc quickly scanned their appearance. It was almost exactly the same as in the picture. The only difference was that Roy had his hand resting on Riza's hips.

"It looks like it's true," Havoc said.

"But it would be better to ask them first before we assume anything," Fuery interrupted.

They all agreed and proceed to wake their two superiors up. Fuery stood off to the side since he was still holding a tray of food. Havoc was going to wake up Roy first. It would have been easier to wake up Riza first but seeing how peaceful she looked they couldn't wake her. Besides they rather not have her shoot another bullet at them for waking her up from what appeared to be a very good dream. Roy was the best choice because with Riza on top of him so he couldn't reach for his glove without disturbing her. This time Roy was actually easier to wake up. A gentle nudge and he started to wake up. Roy awoke to see a serious looking Havoc staring at him.

"Is something wrong?" Roy asked. "Did something happen?"

"No, we have some questions for you and Hawkeye," Havoc responded. "But before we ask them, promise you won't get mad. We wouldn't want you to wake up Hawkeye and have her fill you up with lead."

"Alright. Ask your questions."

"Is Hawkeye pregnant?"

"What!"

"Shhhh! You'll wake her up!" They all turned to look at her. She was still asleep, much to everyone's joy. They'd rather not get a bullet in them this early in the morning. After being certain that she wasn't going to wake up, they turned their attention back to Roy. There was a shock look on his face. Who wouldn't be shocked after hearing that question? "You're probably wondering why we are asking that question." Still in shock, Roy managed to nod his head. "Well, it's because of this picture." Havoc put the picture in Roy's hand. "You'll see why we had to ask."

"Oh, my god." Roy stared at the photo in his hand. He couldn't believe it. In fact he shouldn't believe it because it wasn't true. At least that was what he had hoped. Then another thought donned on him. _'They think Riza is pregnant and that I'm the father. Idiots! How could I be if we've never slept together? Technically, you're sleeping with her now. That's not what I meant, idiot! I know that! Shut up! Make me! Damn it, I'm losing my mind. Like you even had one. Leave me alone! Fine!'_ The entire time he was lost in thought, the hand that was resting on Riza's hips subconsciously began stroking the area in question. Havoc and the others didn't say anything about this action rather they had some interesting thoughts. Roy knew what they were thinking once he snapped back to reality. He immediately stopped his hand movements when he noticed what he was doing.

"So…is it true?" Havoc asked after a few minutes of silence. Roy didn't say anything rather he decided to test his luck and opted to wake Riza. He gently rubbed her back and called her name. Riza slowly, but surely, began to wake up. She awoke to the sight of Roy gazing at her. Then Havoc came into the picture. When she turned her head, she saw Falman, Breda, and Fuery standing anxiously at the foot of the bed. Fuery was still holding the tray of food. Before Riza could say anything, Roy shoved the picture in her face.

"What the hell! I look pregnant!" She propped herself up on one elbow and stared at the picture. Her face reminded calm, well as calm as she could keep it. Her eyes were filled with confusion. Almost immediately, she shoved her hand under the blanket, and pulled out the object. In her hand was a little fur ball, which she was its master. "Buraha?"

"Black Hayate!" the men said as they tried to keep their footing. They nearly collapsed from surprise. Riza sat up and laid the sleeping pup in her lap. Instinctively she began stroking his fur. She could never really get mad at the puppy. The others, on the other hand, were fuming. That was until Riza shot them a glare that said "hurt him and you'll be dead." They quickly regained their composure and calmed down. Roy sat up and gently scratched Hayate behind the ears. Havoc stayed by Roy's bedside. Falman stood stiff at the foot of the bed. Breda went back to being afraid of Hayate and was a few feet away from them. Fuery stood beside Falman after finally setting the tray down in front of Riza. The smell of food woke up Hayate, and he began eating from his bowl after Riza removed it from the tray. She set it down at the foot of the bed so that no dog food would accidentally get in her food. Then Riza began eating her food. Roy stared at the tray in disbelief.

"Fuery, where's my breakfast?" Roy said staring directly into Fuery's eyes. Fuery was terrified deep down but kept up a happy pretense. He absentmindedly started scratching the back of his head. All hope seemed to be drained from the young man.

"Well, I remembered that I left Hayate here and brought food for him, too, but there wasn't enough room for all the food on the tray so I…"

"You brought food for the mutt and left mine in the mess hall!"

"Umm…yes, sir."

"You would rather have a dog's stomach full than your superior's."

"Stop complaining, sir," Riza said shoving his mouth full of eggs. Roy almost choked on the eggs because of the sudden intrusion into his mouth. He quickly ate the eggs and turned towards Riza ready to yell at her. But as soon as he opened his mouth, Riza shoved more eggs into his mouth. She then fed herself. She would go back and forth feeding Roy and then herself. Roy gave up and let Riza feed him.He didn't mind being fed by Riza; he willingly opened his mouth when the fork came close to his mouth. Minutes later the food was gone. In addition to sharing the food, Riza had to share her glass of orange juice. After they were done, Fuery took the tray and placed it on a nearby cart. No one said a word; it was already an awkward situation. There was one person brave enough or at least stupid enough to break the silence at this point.

"I can't believe we thought Hawkeye was pregnant and by Mustang no less," Havoc said somewhat laughing. "I guess we can't believe everything we see."

No one saw the humor in Havoc's comments. They stared at him like he was an idiot. Well, they always did that but this time really called for it. Nothing else was said. There wasn't anything to say. Actually there was a question that needed to be asked and it was Riza who figured it out.

"Where did you get this picture?"

It was then that everyone paled at the answer to that question. They had all reached the same conclusion. There was only one person that would go around and take pictures of people sleeping. Hell, he was the only person that kept at least one camera on him at all times so as not to miss a moment of his daughter's life even though she is currently about a hundred miles away.

"Maes!" they all shouted. When there was one picture there would hundreds more somewhere on that man. Riza and Roy quickly jumped out of bed. They stumbled a bit from staying in bed for so long. Riza holstered her gun and pocketed Roy's glove. It was her turn to find Maes. Roy was putting on his jacket and afterwards helped Riza into hers. Riza then fixed her hair as best she could before putting it up in a clip. When they were finished getting ready, they turned around to walk out the door but were quickly stopped at the sight of the commanding general of Eastern Headquarters. Immediately they saluted him, which was just as quickly waved off by the general.

"I thought I would come see how the mother to be was doing," the general said happy as can be. He took Riza into his embrace, hugging her contently. Riza just stood there shocked and somewhat angered but didn't show it. After awhile he let go of her and looked her directly in the eyes. "It about time, my dear."

"I'm guessing you've already seen Lieutenant Colonel Hughes," Fuery said trying to sound cheery.

"Yes, and I was greeted with the most wonder news. I just wished I heard it from Riza and Mustang instead of from Hughes." He then walked over to Roy and placed his hands on Roy's shoulders. There was a huge smile on the general's face. "You're going to do the right thing and marry her, right?" Roy didn't move. He stood there tense, staring down at his favorite superior. The general stared back at him; a smile was still on his face, one that oddly enough looked like Maes's when he was overflowing with joy. He didn't wait for Roy to respond; he already knew what the answer would be. "I guess you finally took my offer of my granddaughter's hand in marriage."

"Hawkeye's your granddaughter!" all the men yelled. Everyone's nearly collapsed at that last statement. Havoc, Falman, and Fuery had to steady themselves against the wall. Breda was lucky enough to be near a bed and was sitting there wide-eyed. Roy, too, was lucky. The general had a firm grip on his shoulders. Riza just stood like nothing affected her or that was how she appeared. The men kept looking back and forth from Riza to the general. They were trying to find some similarities between the two. There was none. How could the most liked general who was always cheerful and laid back be related by blood to the most feared lieutenant who would shoot you if you got on her nerves? _'Riza was the granddaughter he was talking about. If I had know this I would have accepted it right there on the spot. I didn't say yes because I thought it was another airhead and I'm in love with Riza.' _he thought as he looked into Riza's eyes, which at the time looked like they were going to kill someone presumably him.

"Grandfather, what is this about an offer of my hand in marriage?" Riza said somewhat through clenched teeth. It sent chills through everyone's body. The general himself stiffened up, no doubt from the fact that he offered her hand to Roy without even telling her. Riza was resisting the urge to pull out her gun and shoot her grandfather and Roy. Her hand was twitching over her gun but she was able to maintain the distance between hand and gun. The target was her grandfather after all. And Roy was, well, her superior but also, though she hate to admit it, someone she loved. "Never mind. We'll talk about it later. There is something more important I must tend to."

"What can be more important than being with the father of your child?"

"Grandfather, I'm not pregnant. There's been a misunderstand."

"Aww, that's too bad. I would have loved to be a great-grandfather."

"Havoc, explain everything to him."

"Yes, ma'am."

"Come Colonel, we have some hunting to do."

"Coming."

Roy left the general and followed behind Riza. It was somewhat of a weird scene since Riza was usually the one following two steps behind Roy. They were on their way to search for Maes. Too bad there was another obstacle. Just as they reached the door, Major Armstrong came bursting in sparkles following close behind him. He and Maes always seem to have that ability to come out of nowhere and scare everyone to death. Before Roy and Riza could react, Armstrong had the two of them in a hug. Roy and Riza were struggling to break from Armstrong's grasp. Roy was nearly blue in the face when Armstrong finally let them go.

"I've heard the great news," Armstrong bellowed out while everyone in the background groaned. He then proceeded to give Roy a pat on the back. Roy went flying into the ground. Everyone in the infirmary was trying to hold back his or her laughter. Well, everyone but the nurses; they stared in shock. Riza bent down to help Roy up but was stopped by Armstrong. "Lieutenant, you shouldn't be doing any heavy lifting in your condition." Armstrong picked up Roy from under his arms and stood him in front of Riza. "There. Now what do you have to say to the mother of your child, Colonel?"

"When will this end?" Roy muttered so that only Riza could hear. Riza was dusting off whatever dirt had gotten on his uniform while he stood there looking at her. She paid no real attention to his gaze. Once she was done, she looked over Roy's shoulder to find the others staring at them like they were expecting something to happen. She could see the amused look on Havoc and Breda. The others were just smiling. Riza then turned her eyes back to Roy. Roy seemed annoyed at the constant attention he was getting. Normally he would relish in it, but since it involved Riza there was something uncomfortable about it. Maybe it was because he actually loved her unlike the other women he dated. Roy was only brought back to reality by a gentle nudge from Armstrong. Well, it was a gentle nudge from Armstrong's perspective. Roy saw it more as a push because he went crashing into Riza. It was a good thing that Riza has a good footing or else they would have been laying on the ground again. Since they were looking at each other in the eyes at the time of the push, they ended up sharing another kiss.

"Isn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?" Armstrong cried out. He was softly crying as he stood with the others, sort of. He was hugging Havoc and Falman. Their faces were blue due to the lack of oxygen. When Roy and Riza broke from their kiss, they were furiously blushing. They immediately took a step away from each other as they tried to hide their flushed faces. It didn't take them long to regain their composure and remember their mission.

"Havoc, explain everything to Armstrong, too," Roy ordered. After that, Roy and Riza walked out of the infirmary to find their dear friend. Havoc was left to explain everything to Riza's grandfather and Major Armstrong. Well, he was ordered to but couldn't. He and Falman laid unconscious in the bed that Roy and Riza once occupied. Armstrong had forgotten his own strength, and they suffered the consequences, meaning they blacked out from the lack of oxygen. If it wasn't for Fuery noticing that they weren't breathing, they would be dead. With those two out of commission the task of explaining everything fell into the hands of Fuery and Breda.

It didn't take long for Riza to find Maes. He was in Roy's office pinning up pictures of her and Roy sleeping together, the ones he took that morning. Maes was actually glad to see Roy and Riza. That was until Maes saw the look on Riza's face. He knew he was in trouble, big trouble. And the look on Roy's face wasn't helping either. Their expressions were worse than the ones he got yesterday when they were chasing him.

"Umm…hi, Riza," Maes said rather chokingly. Riza glared at him. Roy was actually smirking. He knew Maes was in trouble and this was payback for all the hell Maes put him and Riza through as well as the others. "Shouldn't you be in the infirmary?"

"No, I'm quite healthy," Riza said in a sinister voice. It was very creepy to Maes. He never heard her voice like that. It was usually in a stern tone. The voice even scared Roy. Maes looked at his friend to find him backed against the wall near the door, far as he could get away from Riza. "That is more than I can say for you." Riza pulled out her gun and pointed it at Maes's head. Maes didn't even bother to talk his way out of it. It would have been futile to reason with Riza when she had that look. He immediately dove behind the desk when Riza emptied the entire clip into the wall. When she was reloading her gun, he took the opportunity to run out of the office. He bolted out of that room, all that was left was a puff of smoke. Roy didn't bother to stop him. It's best to let Riza have her revenge. After she put in a new clip, she tossed Roy his glove. "Get rid of the pictures."

"Of course," Roy replied pushing himself off the wall. He slid his glove on and readied himselffor some photo burning. Riza began walking to the door but was stopped by Roy. He stood in front of her. One of Roy's arms snakedaround her waist. He pulled her close to his body and whispered into her ear. "Don't be too hard on him. Remember, we still need him for his birthday this weekend." Riza nodded her head against his. Her anger seemed to have lessened being in Roy's arms. Roy gave her a quick kiss on the cheek before letting her go of her waist. Riza blushed slightly but went on her way out the office. "Good luck hunting."

The entire headquarters was filled with screams and gunshots. Maes was running for dear life. Riza was only a few feet behind him. She reloaded her gun as quickly as she emptied it. She seemed to be having fun making Maes scream like a little girl. Maes kept rounding corners as he ran for however short his life was going to be. Then the worst possible thing happened to him. He ran into a dead end. It was over, his life was going to be over in a matter of a few seconds. He turned around and looked at his would be executor. Riza stood about twenty feet away from him, gun aimed at his head.

"Any last requests?" Riza asked as she looked at the fear that was building up in Maes's eyes.

"Just one."

"What?"

"If it's a boy, can you name it after me?"

Gunshots filled the corridor. Riza smiled at the sight in front of her. Maes resembled Hayate when he was being punished for peeing in the office. His back was pressed against the wall with his arms raised above his head. His eyes were wide with fear. There was an outline of bullet holes around him. There was one particular bullet hole that scared the crap out of Maes. It was located between his legs at the crotch area. The bullet had managed to pierce to cloth around that area. It was only centimeters from hitting its mark. Riza reloaded her gun and aim it directly at that area. She was about to pull the trigger and at the last second lower it to where it wouldn't actually hit him when a hand grabbed her wrist and an arm wrapped around her waist. She started to struggle but stopped when she realized who it was.

"Thank god you're here, Roy," Maes shouted with joy. Roy had stopped Riza only because he believed that she was actually going to shoot his balls off. He held Riza tightly against his body and made sure he had a tight grip on her wrist. It was a precaution; he didn't want Riza to shoot Maes when the man said something stupid. Riza relaxed a bit in Roy's arms but still maintained the look of death on her face to trick Maes into believing that she was still coming after him. "She was about to make sure that Elicia was going to be an only child."

"You deserve it for all the hell you put me and her through."

"What hell? I was just spreading the word. You know you shouldn't hold her so tight; it might hurt the baby."

"Riza is not pregnant," Roy said through clenched teeth while his right eyebrow was twitching uncontrollably. Riza was trying to hold back her anger as well.

"That's not what her stomach showed."

"I'll prove it to you." The arm that was around Riza's waist moved to the top of her jacket. His hand began unbuttoning it. Riza protested for a second but gave into Roy's way of proving that she wasn't pregnant with his child after he ordered her to. She stood there staring at Maes until Roy finished unbuttoning her jacket. Once Roy had finish, he spread the jacket apart so that Maes could get a good view of Riza's stomach. Then he placed his hand flat against her stomach. "See. Riza isn't pregnant."

"But what about the bulge that I saw this morning? It's in all of the pictures I took."

"That bulge, as you call it, was Black Hayate. He crawled in-between us to keep himself warm last night."

"Aww, I thought you two would finally get married. You know Roy, Riza would make a good wife."

"Okay, Riza, you can shoot him." Roy let go of her wrist. He moved himself to where he was standing beside her. Riza was a bit stunned at what Roy had just said. Nonetheless, she aimed her gun at Maes. The man screeched in terror as he saw Riza pull the trigger. Riza only felt like scaring him so she only shot off two bullets, both of which lightly grazed his right arm and left leg. Maes dropped to the ground wincing from pain. The wounds weren't that bad. Neither were deep; they more or less resembled paper cuts, only slightly thicker. He was making more out of it than what it really was hoping to get some sympathy from his two friends. "I didn't think that you'd actually shoot him."

"Well, you said I could."

"I was joking." Roy looked over at his dear friend to find that he had passed out. He turned back to Riza and started buttoning up her jacket while she holstered her gun. "I think he learned his lesson."

"I seriously doubt that."

"You're probably right."

"What should we do with him?"

"Let's just take him back to the infirmary. They can bandage him up, and we'll leave Armstrong to torture him. I'll tell Armstrong that Maes wanted to hear about his family heritage."

"That's inhumane."

"I know but he has to learn not to mess with my love life. Anyways, let's get him back to the others."

Roy and Riza picked Maes up. Each had one of his arms slung over their shoulder and both held him up at the waist. They carried him through the hallways until they finally reached the infirmary. Everyone was still in there. They already knew that the three of them would end up there soon or later. Havoc and Falman were still unconscious on the bed, their bodies were sprawled across each other. Fuery, Breda, Armstrong, and Riza's grandfather had managed to find some chairs and were conversing with each other when they walked in. The four immediately started questioning them after catching a glimpse of Maes. Roy and Riza paid no attention to them and dropped Maes on top of Havoc and Falman. Then they turned to face the others.

"Don't worry. He just passed out." Roy looked back at Maes, Havoc, and Falman. He had to hold back his laughter from the sight of three grown men sprawled out on a single bed. Havoc was half on and half off of Falman. His left foot was right beside Falman's head. The other was dangling off the side of the bed much like his head was. His butt was resting right on Falman's crotch. Maes laid chest to chest with Falman. His legs werehanging off the bed. One of his hands laid on Havoc's stomach, inches away from his crotch. The others were beginning to snicker when they looked at their comrades. Roy then did something that surprised the others. He stuck his hand into Maes's jacket and pulled out a camera. Everyone knew what was going to happen. Roy started taking as many pictures as he could, taking them from every possible angle. Once he was finished, he took out the roll of film and pocketed it. Those pictures would be developed later. He returned the camera to Maes's jacket. "Well, let's get to work everyone."

"But what about them?" Fuery asked.

"Let them sleep. Armstrong stay with them. Make sure they bandage up Maes."

"Yes, sir."

"Let's go," Roy said leading the others out of the room. When they left the room, Riza's grandfather gave her a kiss on the forehead and went on his way. Fuery and Breda left heading towards the lounge. Roy and Riza made their way to their office, side by side with Hayate close behind. But before they left for the office, Roy stuck his head back into the infirmary. "Armstrong, before I forget, Maes wanted to hear about your entire family line."

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Well, how was it? Hopefully I will get another idea and have the next chapter. Actually it will be a while until I start the next one. I need to update the story I have on Animespiral. Yes, it's another royai. It's called Broken Military if you want to read it. See ya! 


	7. Chapter 7

I finally finished this chapter. I kept laughing and couldn't get myself to finishing typing the sentences because one particular scene kept playing in my head. You'll find out when you read it. Let's see. If you haven't figured it out most of the information I use comes from the anime but there are some parts that are from the manga like with the general. He really is Riza's grandfather, on her mother's side, and he did offer her hand to Roy. Gotta love him for that. Okay, what else is there to talk about? Oh, right. My reviewers. From what I can tell, you all really like my story especially Tsuiraku Nami and ChibiRaccoon. I thank you all for that. Tsunade-chan, I'm more of a chocolate pocky person but strawberry flavor is good too. Okay, let's get on with the story. Enjoy!

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Maes laid in the bed with Havoc and Falman. He was beginning to regain consciousness. There was a warm breath on the back of his neck. Unbeknownst to him, his head was beside that of Falman's. Havoc's foot that was once there was now hanging off the side of the much like his other one. Maes was still somewhat in his dream world, which consisted of Glacier, but was beginning to wake up. Falman's breath was adding to the effects of what Maes was dreaming about. 

"Glacier, I like it when you blow on my neck like that," Maes said dreaming. He moved his face so that it was inches from what he thought was his wife's face; his eyes were still closed. In actuality it was Falman's face that he was getting closer and closer to. "Shall I have you now, my dear?" With that said, Maes lowered himself until his lips touched another's. He found the lips to be rough and chapped, not soft and tender like his Glacier's. Immediately, he opened his eyes to find a horrified Falman staring back at him. They quickly broke the kiss and started screaming. Maes went flying back. He grabbed onto the nearest thing to keep him from falling flat on his back. Too bad for Maes and especially for Havoc that the closest object to Maes's hand at the time was Havoc's "thing". Havoc let out a yelp and shot up to a sitting position but because the bed was too small for the three them Havoc found himself falling backwards off the bed. As soon as Maes realized what he had grabbed, he immediately let it go and fell to the ground. Falman was the only one that was still on the bed. He got into a sitting position.

"What the hell?" Falman shouted as he started spitting and rubbing his mouth furiously with his arm trying to get rid of the taste in his mouth. Luckily for Falman, Maes didn't use his tongue. Maes was doing the same thing that Falman was doing from his position on the ground while Havoc was tending to his pain. "Why did you kiss me, sir?"

"Sorry, I thought you were my wife. Let's forget this ever happened." Falman agreed, and Maes got up off the ground still spitting and rubbing. He looked around at his surroundings to find that he was in the infirmary. _'Roy and Riza must have brought me here after I fainted. But why were these two here in bed with me?' _Maes was somewhat relieved at what he found in the infirmary. They were the only people in there. Although he got a little scared when he felt the bandages around his arm and leg. The events from earlier came rushing back to him but he sighed in relief because Riza wasn't there. Next he had to figure what was going on. "Why were you two in bed with me?"

"I don't know," Havoc answered after he got off the ground and situated himself on the edge of the bed near Falman's legs. Maes followed his action and sat on the other side of Falman's legs. "Last thing I remember was being bear hugged by Armstrong while Mustang was accidentally kissing Hawkeye."

"Same here," Falman said as he moved his legs so that he was sitting Indian-style, giving the others more room to sit. "Armstrong must have laid me and Havoc here after they realized that we were unconscious. And I guess Colonel Mustang and Lieutenant Hawkeye must have laid you on top of us whenever they brought you back to bandage you up since this was the only bed left."

"I guess that make sense," Maes said still thinking about it. Havoc nodded in agreement. "But where is everyone else?"

"They were all released," a voice answered from the doorway. They turned their eyes to look at the figure standing there, but they already knew whom it was by the sparkles that were flying over them. There standing a few feet away from them was the behemoth better known as Major Armstrong. "They all recovered enough to return to their duties." Armstrong made his way across the room until he was standing at the foot of the bed. "I was ordered to stay and watch after you three. I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. I'm glad that all of you are awake. How are you feeling?"

"We're fine," Maes said nervously. He and the other two knew what was bound to happen if they stayed in Armstrong presence for too long. "If that is all then we will take our leave now." But before they could even get off the bed, Armstrong ripped off his shirt and started flexing in front of them. The three of them paled and muttered, "Here, we go."

"But I cannot let you leave yet. Colonel Mustang told me that you wanted to hear about my entire family heritage. Since Lieutenant Havoc and Warrant Officer Falman are here, they can join in on the stories."

Armstrong began his long, very long, extremely long story about his family line. Every five seconds he would change into a different pose. Sparkles engulfed the room Maes, Havoc, and Falman sat and unwillingly listened to Armstrong. Every once and a while they would dodge one of those sparkles. _'Roy is a dead man,'_ Maes thought as he tried to zone out Armstrong's voice. _'What did I do deserve to this? Remember, this is for Hughes's birthday. This will only make you stronger. Just endure it a little longer. It shouldn't be that long, twenty minutes, a half hour at most.'_ Havoc and Falman both thought as they had managed to drown out Armstrong. Although all of their concentrations were broken when Armstrong lifted the bed with them still on it to illustrate his story about his great-great-great-great grandmother's strength at the age of 89.

Three hours later, Armstrong finished and allowed them to leave. Two walking zombies left the infirmary dragging a lifeless Havoc behind them. Armstrong left as well heading towards the mess hall. It was lunchtime for everyone. After a while, Maes and Falman had finally transformed back to their normal selves. Havoc had return to normal when they passed a blonde female lieutenant. The three of them made their way through the hallway towards Roy's and theirs office. Havoc and Falman were going to get back to work, and Maes was going to kill Roy or at least torture him. Along the way, the military personnel were snickering at them as they walked through the hall. None knew the reason why until they came across Ed and Al.

"Hey Lieutenant Colonel, why is there a large cardboard picture of you sleeping with these two outside at every wall of HQ?" Maes, Havoc, and Falman bolted for the nearest window. Theirs jaws dropped, face paled, and eyes widen when they saw the picture outside. There standing a few yards from the building was a humongous picture of them in a bed together, in less than innocent positions. The pictures nearly towered over the building.

"ROY!" Maes sprinted at full speed down the hallway to Roy's office. Havoc and Falman were left still staring at themselves. They were only brought out of it when a hand fell on each of their shoulders. They turned around to see Fuery and Breda grinning at them. Moments later Ed and Al were standing with them. Fuery was giving Havoc a sympathetic pat on the back while Breda was doing the same with Falman.

"Colonel says he's sorry," Fuery said guiding the two them back to the office. Breda walked with Ed and Al explaining what had happened. Ed was trying to hold back as much laughter as he could. When he couldn't hold it back, Havoc and Falman would turn around glaring at him which prompted him to stop laughing. Al was feeling a bit ashamed that Roy would go that far but didn't voice his opinion. Fuery was trying to cheer Falman and Havoc up. "He said that he would make it up to you two. We are all going out for drinks later; it's on him. Also he said he would find girlfriends for the two of you if that makes you feel any better."

"Really?" Havoc asked with hope. His eyes seemed to have lit up when he heard that he might be getting a girlfriend. That shine quickly left when a thought came into his mind. _'He'd probably end up stealing her away from me.'_ Havoc's shoulders slumped even further down at that realization. Fuery saw his shoulders slump and gave him another reassuring pat on the back.

"He promised that he wouldn't steal this one away from you. Said something about having his eyes on someone for himself already."

"Although we don't know who it is," Breda added. "Maybe it's that girl from the flower shop, Grace."

The group finally made it to the office. They didn't go in when they noticed the door was partly open and remembered that Maes had run ahead them to Roy's office. They could hear things being thrown and other things crashing onto the floor. Immediately, they about faced and walked towards the mess hall. They knew what would happen if they went in there. They only made it about a foot before hearing Maes scream at the top of his lungs.

"ROY! WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!"

"Let's get out of here!" All of them ran as fast as they could down the hall. The group broke up into small groups when they came to an intersection of the hallways. Ed and Al went left towards the stairs. Fuery and Havoc headed straight ahead, and Falman and Breda took the left hall. Both of the hallways would later led to another set of stairs. Before breaking up they agreed to meet at the mess hall. During all this time none of them thought to warn Roy.

Meanwhile outside in the courtyard, Roy and Riza sat under a tree eating their lunch and doing their paperwork. Roy had actually convinced Riza to let him eat his lunch outside but on the condition that his paperwork went with him. They sat shoulder to shoulder with each other. Roy sat on the right and Riza on the left. Both sat with their legs out in front of them to support a small pile of paper they had as they signed them. On the left side of Roy sat two other piles of papers: ones that he completed and ones that he hadn't. When he was done with the pile on his legs he would put in the complete pile and grab some from the other. It was a bit windy outside so the stacks had to be weighed down. One had his gloves, and Hayate's sleeping head weighed the other down. There were similar things on Riza's side. A small stack was on her legs. There were also two piles of papers beside her legs. Each one was kept from flying away by her guns. In addition there was a tray of food next to one of the stacks.

Riza was signing papers with her right hand while holding half a sandwich in the other. She had her elbow rested on her upper thigh to keep the sandwich near her face so she could take a bite out of every once and a while. Also she would move her hand to her left so that Roy could take a bite out of it as well. Earlier Roy had complained about not being allowed to eat his lunch and do his paperwork at the same time. Riza knew that Roy would be easily distracted by his lunch and not do his work. The only solution, Riza would share her lunch with him while he signed his papers. So they sat there writing and eating. They were only brought out of their work by a scream.

"I see that they have woken up," Roy said looking up from his paperwork. He moved his eyes in the direction of where the scream supposedly came from. "They slept longer than what I thought they would." He then turned his eyes to look at Riza. His face was adorned with that smirk of his. Riza's head was still lowered to concentrate on the papers in front of her. She paid no attention to Roy. Rather she just took another bite out of her sandwich. Roy still pushed on with his smirk. "From their screaming I take it that Maes, Havoc, and Falman found my little surprise for them."

"Was that really necessary to pull Havoc and Falman into your revenge? They did nothing wrong. In fact they're helping you with Maes's birthday party."

"I know, but it was the perfect opportunity to get back at Maes for telling everyone I got you pregnant. Besides I'm making it up to them later tonight."

"I guess it's alright. Only if you apologize to them and they forgive you."

"I'm sure they will."

"You do know that Maes will find a way to return the favor. He's not going to forgive you so easily."

"I'll be ready for whatever he throws at me, and he'll eventually forgive me when we reach the final part of the plan."

Riza continued on with her work while Roy continued to stare at her. She knew that he was still staring and tried her best to not let it affect her. Her hand continued to write while she took another bite of what was left of her sandwich. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and turned to look at Roy, intent on telling him to go back to work. Roy took this chance and leaned forward to kiss her. Riza saw this coming and leaned forwards toward her legs. Roy went down hitting the tree trunk. He immediately came back up to his sitting position rubbing his forehead. Riza leaned back against the tree.

"Get back to your paperwork, sir, unless you think that it isn't enough. I can go get you some more."

Roy immediately turned himself back to his original position and started scribbling like crazy. Riza returned to her work with what seemed like a smile. That smile quickly went away to show that she wasn't affected by his bluntness even if she was. Once certain that Riza was complete immerse in her work, Roy would gaze at her out the corner of his eyes. _'Why is it that none of my advances work on her? Most women would have met me halfway there. Is she immune to my charms? What charms? You just tried to kiss her. Hey! Didn't I tell you to leave me alone! Right, I forgot. Bye. I really am losing my mind.' _Just then Roy saw another opportunity to lure his Riza closer to him or at least find out if she liked him as a potential, secret boyfriend.

Riza was about to put the final piece of her sandwich in her mouth when Roy grabbed her by the wrist. She quickly turned her head to look at him. Roy's face was only a few inches away from hers.He pulled her hand closer to his mouth. He gave a small smirk before taking the sandwich and her fingers in his mouth. Her cheeks showed a tint of red in them. They got a darker as Roy slowly pulled his mouth from her hand. His slow movement let her feel his tongue against the back of her fingers. It shocked him when he saw her smile. _'She does like me.'_ Then out of the corner of his eye he saw her other hand move towards her gun. He knew why she was smiling now. At almost lightening speed he removed his mouth from her fingers and went back to his paperwork, chewing the sandwich in his mouth.

"I thought so, sir." Roy looked out of the corner of his eyes to see Riza grab a napkin instead of her gun. She took the napkin and wiped her hand free of his saliva. By now her cheeks had returned to its normal, pale color. But Roy's cheeks were a bright red, whether from embarrassment or from the heat he felt when he had her fingers in his mouth. _'Okay, maybe she doesn't like me that way but her smile was worth risking a bullet in the head.' _Roy returned his attention back to his paperwork but ever once and a while he would look back at Riza. "Stay on task, sir."

After about five minutes, Riza had finally completed her work. She slouched down a bit against the tree while she contently ate a bowl of chocolate pudding. Roy still had a ways to go on the count that he kept staring at Riza. Whenever Roy would stare at her for too long she would have to threaten him with more paperwork. He would immediately get back to work. A few minutes later, Roy became restless and tried to abandon his work.

"Get back to work, sir."

"But it's boring."

"You'll never become Fuhrer with that attitude."

"Can't I at least have the rest of my dessert? You eaten most of it already."

"You haven't done anything to deserve it. Now get back to work."

Roy put on his most pitiful puppy dog eyes in hopes of getting at least a spoonful of his dessert. It was no use. Riza had endured the puppy eyes of Hayate and Fuery. She easily repelled Roy's eyes. Instead she teased Roy by savoring a spoonful of pudding. She slowly licked the pudding that remained on the spoon after it was removed out of her mouth. Roy sat there staring at her. His entire focus was on her mouth and tongue. _'Why does she have to do that? She's teasing me, and it's working. I wish I was that spoon right now' _Riza was actually having fun messing with Roy's mind. She took another spoonful. This time there was a small amount that stayed at the corner of her mouth when she removed the spoon. Before she could even move her hand to wipe it off, she felt a bare hand slide across her face cupping it. The next thing that she felt was Roy's tongue licking off the excess pudding. She immediately blushed five different shades of red. It was a bold move on Roy's part. He knew that she could reach her gun and was expecting her to point it at him at that exact moment. Instead his form of punishment came as a hard slap in the face that resulted in him smashing his head against the tree. He sat back against the tree gently rubbing his newly acquired head injury.

"What was that for?" Roy said as he stared at Riza's blushing face. She was definitely affected this time and there was no way she could hide it. Roy was blushing as well but it wasn't as bad as hers. The entire time she was staring down at her lap.

"That was inappropriate, sir!" Riza didn't look up. She couldn't look into Roy's eyes. There was no way that she could face him after what he had just done. A smirk came across Roy's face. It was the closest he'd ever gotten to kissing her on his own accord. The other times were accidents. But a kiss was a kiss to Roy, no matter how he got it. He pulled his legs under him and turned to face her. Gently, he cupped her face and turned it so that it was looking at him. Riza quickly darted her eyes to look at the building behind Roy. It would take a couple of seconds but Riza moved her eyes to look back at Roy. He took this opportunity to lean forwards. Riza wanted to get away from Roy but he had a firm, but not hurtful, grip on her face. Now was not the time for his advances. He was only a few inches away from kissing her when she interrupted him. "Roy, you better start running."

"Why?" he asked her confused.

"Because Maes is at the corner of the building."

Roy turned his head and sure enough there was Maes searching for him. Maes's back was turned to them. Roy let go of Riza's face and bolted in the opposite direction of Maes with his gloves in hand. He wasn't going to stick around for Maes's punishment. Riza breathed a sigh of relief. Sure she wanted to kiss him but now was not the right time. She wanted their first _real_ kiss to be special and when they were alone. By the time Maes had noticed and walked over to her, she had her stoic face back and was stacking all the paperwork.

"Riza, have you seen, Roy?" Maes asked when he was standing above her. Hayate started bouncing around the man. He had woken up when Riza had pulled the paperwork that the pup was half sleeping on out from under him. Riza stood with the stack of paper in one arm while the other held the empty tray.

"He went that way," she said. The arm with the tray straightened out to point to the left. It was the direction that Roy had run off to. "I have no clue where he was going. He started running when he saw you. I take it, you saw what he did."

"Yes, and I'm going to make him pay. I take it you had no part in it."

"Of course I wouldn't."

"Yeah, I should have known. You're more along physical injury when it comes to revenge." At that moment he touched his injured arm. There was no point in getting back at Riza because there was no reason to. The earlier events were because of his misunderstanding. If she was involved, which was highly doubtful, he'd just get himself full of bullets. Flames he could dodge but not bullets. "Well, I better get going before he gets too far."

"Wait! Take Hayate with you. He can find Roy no matter where he hides; besides he needs the exercise. Also try not to hurt Roy too bad, at least not his hands. I still have some paperwork for him to finish."

"Of course, working is one of the things he hates to do. It'll give me another way to get back at him. Thanks for your help. Come, Hayate."

Maes ran off to find Roy. Hayate kept up with the man's speed and was running alongside him. Riza stood at the tree for a while looking at their disappearing figures before she made her way back inside.

"I hope you found a good place to hide, Roy, because Maes is going to torture you mercilessly when he finds you."

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That was a fun chapter to write. I hope you laugh until your sides start hurting. I'm glad that some of you think this is a funny story. I kind of find it somewhat comical that my entire family says that I have no sense of humor. Until next time, which is probably next week. 


	8. Chapter 8

Woohoo! I made it over 100 reviews. Congrats to me and to unexpection for being my 100th reviewer. I'm in a really go mood. I got my 100th review, I just saw Final Fantasy: Advent Children, and I finally found out what Riza's grandfather's name is. It's Lieutenant General Grumman if anyone is wondering. So I am one happy camper. Before I let you read the story, I want to apologize ahead of time for I did to Roy in this chapter. It's cruel and I probably shouldn't have that to him...and Hayate. Well, on with the story.

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"Enough, Maes! I've had enough!" 

Roy was currently tied tightly around his upper body with some very thick ropes and his hands bound behind him. His gloves were removed and were in Maes's pocket. He was seated on the couch in his office. His legs were bound at the ankles to keep him from running away. Maes's punishment for Roy came in the form of a slideshow, a slideshow of all his photo albums. The pictures were an extra copy Maes had made in case the others were accidentally destroyed and were currently in storage in East City. They had been brought to Roy's office upon Maes's request after Roy had put up the billboards. Roy had been sitting in his current position for four hours now, and Maes had only gone through the third year of his and Glacier's relationship. Maes was sitting next to Roy, pressing the button to change the pictures, and giving a long commentary about each picture. Little pink hearts threaten to engulf the entire room. Hayate was sitting on Maes's lap happily watching the pictures go by. The pup had found Roy hiding in the park, laying down among some bushes. Roy had not liked the way he was found. Hayate had decided to have a bathroom break and ended up peeing on Roy's head. Luckily for Roy, Maes allowed him to wash his hair before tying him up and putting him through this torture.

"Now Roy, I haven't even gotten to the pictures of Elicia. I know you love seeing your dear little niece."

"Maes, we've been at this for four hour," Roy said resisting the urge to scream his lungs out. "Can't we stop? I'm sorry for putting up those pictures. Please let me go."

"Umm…no. What you did to me, Falman, and Havoc was unforgivable especially to Havoc. You know the trouble he's been having keeping a girl. Now he's never going to have one because they're all going to think he's gay."

"I'm making it up to them. Now untie me. I…I have paperwork to do."

"That's taken care of. I asked Hawkeye to deal with it while I have my fun. She agreed and should be finishing them shortly."

It seem like the entire world was against him. His subordinates had completely vanished. Riza was doing his paperwork, which allowed Maes to torture him. Even Hayate had gone against him. The pup had tracked him down. There was no one on his side._ 'Okay, maybe it was a bad idea to make those pictures. Riza did exact our revenge for the pregnancy incident. I guess I took it too far.'_ Roy sighed as Maes continued on with his slideshow.

An hour later, the slideshow had stopped for a moment. Maes needed to change the slides. Roy sighed in relief that the slideshow was over even if it was for a brief moment. He lowered his head in defeat. When it came to torture, Maes was the best. He was worse than Armstrong's family talk. Hayate had noticed a change in Roy. The puppy jumped off the couch into a pile of photos. Pictures flew up into the air. That caught enough of Roy's attention to make him turn his head. He curiously watched as the pup started sniffing among the pictures. Hayate took a picture in his mouth and made his way back onto the couch. He climbed up the photo albums conveniently place against the bottom of the couch. Then he made his way across the couch until he was in Roy's lap. Once there he got on his hind legs and placed his front legs on Roy's chest so that he could give Roy a better view of the picture. His tail was wagging to and fro. Roy looked at the picture and glared at Hayate. The picture was of Elicia playing with Hayate.

"Isn't that cute?" Maes sat back down beside Roy after he had finished putting in the new slides. Roy continued to glare at Hayate. The pup had become the dog version of Maes. "He's trying to show you a picture." Maes promptly takes out a camera and snaps a shot. "Riza is going to love this picture."

"I guess Havoc is going to get that dog stir-fry after all," Roy muttered. Hayate got off Roy's lap as quickly as he could, whimpering the entire time. He remembered the first time he met Havoc. That man was joking about stir-frying him but his mommy saved him. As fast as the eye could see, Hayate had wedged himself between Maes and the armrest. He made one quick look back at Roy before burying his head under his paws.

"Now look at what you've done," Maes reprimanded Roy. He moved his hand to gently pat Hayate's head only to feel it tense under his touch. Then he picked him up and gently cradled him in one of his arms. His other hand was stoking the pup's fur in hopes of calming him down. Hayate's whimpering had lessened but his muscles were still tense. Maes shot Roy a glare. Roy simply shrugged his shoulders. Maes returned his attention back to the quivering pup in hopes of getting him back to normal. "It's okay, Hayate. Roy isn't going to hurt you. He should know what your mommy would do to him."

Roy's face paled at that sudden realization. This wasn't just any dog; this was his love's dog. And this love happened to be extremely good with a gun. _'Riza is going to kill me when she finds out that I traumatized her dog. What am I going to do? She's never going to forgive me and then I will never get my chance.' _Roy scooted closer to Maes and Hayate. He was hoping that he could get on their good sides again.

"I'm sorry, Hayate. I didn't mean to scare you. It's just that Maes's torture was getting to me. Please forgive me."

Hayate made no movement. He didn't acknowledge Roy's voice for the moment. The pup was still scared and mad at Roy for threatening to stir-fry him. _'Stupid Daddy. I sometimes don't see why Mommy likes him so much, but I will get him back for that comment. But I still like him too much to let Mommy kill him. He always gives me those treats when Mommy isn't looking. I'll have to come up with something.' _Hayate was broken out of his thoughts when Maes held him out in his hands. Maes looked the pup in the eye, trying to figure out what Hayate was thinking. Then there was a smile on his face.

"I know what you're thinking, Hayate," Maes said as he brought the dog back to his chest. He got up from his seat with Hayate in his arms and walked over to Roy's desk. Hayate was set down on the desk while Maes searched through the drawers. A piece of paper was pulled out along with a pen. Maes had written something on the piece of paper and stuffed it into Hayate's collar. Then he carried the dog to the door and whispered something into his ear before putting him down. Hayate scurried out of there. Maes turned around to come eye to eye with Roy.

"What was that about?" Roy said. His eyes never left Maes's. To answer Roy's question, Maes simply shrugged his shoulders and made his way back to the couch. He had that grin of his on. Roy knew something was going on and he was going to find out. Maes took his seat again and was ready to start the next slideshow but Roy delayed him. "Tell me what that was all about."

"You'll find out when Hayate returns."

Maes started his slideshow and Roy was once again in hell. This time the pictures were of Elicia. They were her baby pictures. Time seem to pass slowly by, to Roy it felt like time stopped. He had seen these pictures a million times. Hell, everyone saw them a million times. Well, everyone but Riza. She only saw them a few times. Maes didn't feel like fighting for his life when it came to showing pictures to her. He'd rather wait until Riza asked to see them again. She was lucky compared to everyone else even though they had alchemy or guns themselves. They weren't willing to shoot at fellow comrades.

Roy had turned into a zombie when Maes had finished this batch of slides. An hour had passed and Roy was sure that there was no end in sight. He seemed to have lost all function in his body and brain. His body laid limp against the couch. His head was rested on his shoulder while a stream of drool came from his mouth onto his uniform and the ropes. Jet black eyes were glazed over as they stared blankly into the white screen. During this time Maes was busying himself with getting the next batch of slides ready. He only stopped when he heard barking coming from the hallway. His attention was turned to Roy. A strip of duct tape was placed on his mouth to prevent him from screaming when he saw what Maes was planning on doing. Now all that was left was to wake the zoned out colonel. Maes knew the perfect way; it always worked whenever he was trying to bring Roy back from space. He put his mouth near Roy's ear.

"Roy, Riza's wearing a miniskirt!"

Upon hearing those words, Roy shot back to alert mode and was quickly scanning the room for his dear lieutenant. It didn't take him long to figure out that he was fooled. _'Why do I always fall for that? I know Riza would never wear a miniskirt to work. Still with her legs- snap out of it. She isn't going to wear one.' _Roy glared at Maes for his deception. He moved to yell at him but found that he couldn't. This was a sign of troubles to come and he knew it. Struggling as much as he could, Roy couldn't get the tape off his mouth. After a few more tries Roy finally gave up and sat back against the couch. Maes kept his eyes on Roy until the barking was coming from behind him.

"I've received your message, Lieutenant Colonel," said Armstrong. The major was standing in the doorway with Hayate happily wagging his tail in one arm and the note in his hand. Roy's eyes widened. He knew what was going to happen. Maes was going to do what he had done to him. Roy was going to have to endure the Armstrong lineage story along with the slideshow. Armstrong put Hayate down and walked into the room. Hayate made a beeline to Maes. The pup gently pawed at the man's pants. Maes bent down and petted the pup. Hayate looked over to Roy and there was a faint appearance of a smile on the dog's mouth. It scared Roy a bit to see the happy dog after want he had done to the dog earlier. Maes had gone to Armstrong and was currently whispering something to him. "I see. Lieutenant Hawkeye had informed me that you were doing something to the colonel for the picture incident with Havoc and Falman. She said I was not to interfere but I may help you if you are in need of assistance."

"Good. Just do what I said and everything will be great. Also, there is no need to worry about Roy getting back at us for what we will do. Riza said she would take care of everything."

"Very well. Shall we get started?"

"Yes. Let's do it.'

The two of them sat down on the couch. Maes and Armstrong took their time to situate themselves into a comfortable position. Roy took this time to try and escape. If he could make to the hallway, he would be saved. Maes and Armstrong didn't bother to chase after Roy. They knew that Roy wasn't going to get far in his condition. Roy didn't get that far. After a couple of hops, he ended up falling flat on his face. He rolled over onto his back and stared back at the others. Maes held up to the remote, waving it. Roy made an attempt to escape again but was painfully stopped by Hayate. When he was trying to stand, Roy had parted his legs wide enough for Hayate to exact his revenge. Hayate went into full speed from his position beside Maes's leg to Roy. The last thing Roy saw before he was in utter pain was a flying fur ball. Hayate had latched his teeth onto a very sensitive spot on Roy's body. Roy screams were muffled from the piece of tape on his mouth as he fell back onto the floor. Hayate thrashed his head back and forth, tightening his grip.

"Should we help him?" Armstrong asked.

"In a minute, I suspect Hayate is getting back at him for the stir-fry comment Roy made earlier."

The minute passed and Maes finally pried Hayate from Roy's body. He handed the pup to Armstrong who was still seated on the couch. Then he went to inspect his injured friend. Roy was curled up into a ball and was on the verge of tears. He made no sound or movement when Maes gently kicked to see if the man was truly conscious.

"Roy, you ok?" Maes moved Roy so that he was sitting up inhis arm. The tape was removed his mouth to allow him to talk. Roy didn't do anything but breathe and occasionally blink. As the seconds passed, Maes began to worry more and more. It wasn't until Roy took in a deep breath that Maes was relieved.

"Maes?" Roy said feebly.

"Yes?"

"Come closer."

"Yes?" Maes repeated when his ear was only centimeters away from Roy's mouth.

"WHY THE HELL DID YOU LET THAT MUTT ATTACK ME! AND WHY DID YOU JUST SIT BY AND WATCH HIM TEAR MY MANHOOD APART!" Maes winced as Roy yelled into his ear. It had caught him off guard, and he ended up dropping Roy back onto the ground. He rubbed his ears as Roy continued his ranting. "MAES, YOU ARE SO DEAD! WHEN I GET FREE, THERE IS GOING TO BE HELL TO PAY!" Maes quickly grabbed the piece of tape and placed it back on Roy's mouth, shutting him up. He turned around to find a shocked Armstrong and what appeared to be Hayate's tail near the armrest. He returned his eyes to Roy to find him squirming around and glaring at him with a look of impending doom.

"Well, if I'm going to die I might as well torture you some more. Armstrong, would you put him on the couch?"

"Yes, sir."

Armstrong picked up Roy and placed him on the couch. Then Maes sat down on Roy's right side and Armstrong was on the left. Hayate laid down on the floor near Maes's feet. It was time for the torture to once again start. Maes click the button and the show started. This time they were from when Elicia was three years old. Roy was squirming the entire time. He wanted to get away but Armstrong had one of his hands set on Roy's shoulder, preventing him from moving. The torture that Roy was being put though was ten times worse now that Armstrong was involved. After Maes had finished doting over what Elicia was doing, Armstrong would tell a story about one of his sisters. Every once and a while, Armstrong would get up and pose for them. Then Maes would switch to the next picture and the whole cycle continued again. The room was now engulfed in pink hearts and sparkles. Whenever Hayate was in one of the pictures with Elicia, he would begin barking. Roy felt like dying.

Roy's savior came in the form of Riza. She had return from wherever and was currently standing in the doorway, staring at the scene before her. Hayate immediately ran to her. He had missed her dearly. Riza bent down to pet the pup. His tail went into hyper drive and was wagging like there was no tomorrow. Riza smiled at his enthusiasm and picked him up. She held in one arm and made her way to Roy and the others. The entire time Hayate was gently licking her hand.

"So, how goes the torture?" Riza asked when she was standing beside the couch.

"I'd say it's going pretty well by the looks of Roy," Maes answered. Riza looked at Roy to find him drooling and his eyes glazed over. Roy was once again in zombie mode. "It took you long enough to finish the paperwork. I figured you would have been here hours ago to check on us."

"I did finish the paperwork hours ago. I figured you would need some more time so I was at the shooting range for a while. Then I went and played chess with my grandfather. Do you still need some more time?"

"Just a little. The slideshow is almost through."

"Alright. I'll go put Hayate in my room and feed him. That should take about a half hour. Will that be long enough?"

"Yes, we should be done by then."

Riza left the room with Hayate, and Maes and Armstrong went back to the torture. Like clockwork, Riza returned thirty minutes later. The slideshow had ended a few minutes before she arrived. Maes and Armstrong were currently packing things up. Riza went and lent a hand, ignoring the fact that Roy was still tied up and a zombie. Once they were done, Armstrong volunteered to take them back to Maes's room. The only things left to do was untie Roy and bring him back to the land of the living. Riza removed the tape and then start untying his legs. Maes was working on the rope around his body. It didn't take them long to accomplish this task since they weretied in a simply bow, but they were place where he couldn't reach them and untie himself. All that was left to do was make Roy his usual cocky self.

"So, how are we going to make him…normal?"

"When he is in this state, there has been only one thing that will bring him back to reality."

"Well, go for it."

"Just promise me that you won't shoot at me for what I'm about to say." Riza agreed, and Maes put his mouth to Roy's ear. He took in a deep breath and prepared himself to run if Riza pulled out her gun. "Roy, Riza's wearing a miniskirt!" Riza shot Maes a glare, and he backed away defensively. "What? Roy's perverted. His dream is to become Fuhrer and see you in a miniskirt" Riza continued to glare at him. Maes felt small or like someone on death row whenever she looked at him like that. They went back to their normal faces when the noticed that Roy was still incapacitated. "That's new. It didn't work."

"What should we do now? We can't leave him like this."

"I've got another idea," Maes said with a mischievous grin. That grin earned him a raised eyebrow from Riza.

"What?"

"You could…kiss him."

"No."

"Come on. I know it would wake him up."

"Find another way."

"But there isn't one. Just kiss him, Riza. I know he would like you to. He's madly in love with you."

"Geez, I couldn't tell from all the advances he's made."

"And I know for a fact that you like him more than just a friend."

"I'm still not kissing him. I've already ended up kissing him twice because of you."

"And why should this be any different?"

"Because the other times were accidents and this one won't be."

"Well, think about this. If you don't kiss him, you're going to have to take care of him until he's back to normal."

"Fine."

"Good, now pucker up."

"First, give me your cameras." Maes simply complies, seeing that Riza's was ready to shoot him if he didn't hand over the camera. He puts his hand in his jacket and pulls out a camera. Then he places it in Riza's outstretched hand. "All of them." Maes tried to deny it but quickly handed over four more camera when Riza pointed the gun at his forehead. "Second, you tell anyone about this then consider yourself a dead man."

"Yes, ma'am."

Maes stood off to the side after closing the door and locking it while Riza got ready for the kiss. Riza sighed as she positioned herself beside Roy. She had her knees against the back of the couch so that she was facing him. There was no way in hell that she was going to straddle Roy with Maes there. Hell, she wasn't going to do it even if there wasn't an audience. She had to lean over a bit because of her position, moving Roy towards her was liable to make him fall on top of her. Cautiously, Riza laced her fingers behind Roy's neck and rested her thumbs on his cheeks. Slowly, she closed her eyes as her lips descended onto his._ 'This is actually nice. It's a whole lot better when it's not an accident. Although it would be better if Maes wasn't watching.' _Riza thought. She was brought back to reality when she felt Roy start to kiss back. Her eyes widen when she felt his tongue graze her lips. She tried to break away from the kiss but Roy had managed to get one of his hands behind her head and was holding it in place. Riza then tried to move her body so that she could possibly kick or knee him to stop. The plan never got to be to put to use because Roy's other arm had snaked around her waist and pulled her against him so that she was now sitting on his lap. The suddenness that she felt when her body touched his caused her to gasp. It gave Roy full access to her mouth.

So Riza was currently sitting on her superior's lap having a tongue fight with him while Maes was off in the corner watching. Riza had to end this. She grabbed her gun and placed it near Roy's ear. Two consecutive shots were fired. It startled Roy, and he ended up breaking the kiss. Riza laid down on the couch with her head propped up by the armrest. Her butt was still in Roy's lap and the rest of her was stretched across the couch. She laid there panting heavily, trying to catch her breath. _'How can he hold his breath for so long?' _Riza thought. Roy was currently scanning the room for what was happening. He found Maes cowering in the corner. Then he heard the panting and looking down to find Riza breathing quickly with her eyes closed. _'What the hell happened to her?' _He was concerned about her so he leaned over her to ascertain the problem. His hand went to cup her face and his thumb began to absentmindedly rub her cheek. Riza slowly opened her eyes to look at him; her breathing had returned to normal by then. She saw that there was worry in his eyes. A small smile came onto her face that Roy gladly returned. The next thing he knew she slapped him across the face.

"What the hell was that for?"

"For using your tongue," Riza said sitting up. Roy wrapped his arms around her waist. He thought about what she said and inwardly smiled at getting that far with her although he didn't know that it was Riza he was kissing, at first. He sat there enjoying the fact that Riza hadn't attempted to get off his lap. Riza was busy looking around for Maes, who was conveniently hiding in the corner her back was turned to. "Maes, come here." Maes was standing beside Riza in a matter of seconds. "Roy."

"Yes?"

"Maes."

"Yes?"

"No more paybacks."

"Yes, ma'am," they both said.

"Good, let's get out of here," Riza said getting off of Roy, much to his disappointment. Roy gets up after she does. Maes then cautiously hands Roy his gloves. With Riza there, Roy wasn't going to attempt to fry Maes since they both promised Riza no more paybacks. Breaking a promise with Riza was mostly likely going to make you target practice for her. "Work has been over for an hour now."

The three of them walked into the hall and headed off in different directions. Riza and Maes went back to their respective rooms. Riza was going to check on Hayate, and Maes was going to tidy up his photo albums. Roy was going to head to the bar, after a quick change, where he promised the others he would buy them some drinks. In addition, he sort of promised to find Havoc and Falman a girlfriend for what he did.

Later that night, Roy made his way back to his room. He didn't drink much at the bar. The events from earlier with Maes and Armstrong were still traumatizing him, so he only had a small glass of alcohol. Aside from him, Furey was the only one that wasn't drunk when they left or rather was kicked out of the bar. Furey was never a real drinker like the rest but was always dragged along. He, Havoc, Falman, and Breda went search of another bar since it was still early. Roy declined but gave some money to Furey for the drinks he promised to pay for. Furey was quickly hauled away by Havoc but had managed to promise that he would get them back to the dorms safely. So here was Roy standing in front on of his bedroom door glad that Havoc and Falman were too drunk to remember about the girlfriend promise. All he wanted to do right now was go to sleep and forget about this day. When he opened his door he got the surprise of a lifetime.

* * *

Yeah, I know. There isn't a lot of royai in this chapter but there will be a whole lot of it in the next chapter. And don't let that last sentence confuse you, it's not what you think. Oh yeah, I'm glad my story has a positive effect on all of you. Hakkai-sama, I'm happy that you're going to write a royai story. Tell me when you've posted it or what the title is if you've already posted it. Well, I'll stop typing now seeing that it's yet another long chapter. See ya next week. 


	9. Chapter 9

I'm back, and I bring with me the fluffiness. I know I'm evil, probably even more since I didn't update last week. There are some days where you just don't feel like writing and that's how I felt last week. But this week I was in a writing mood as can be seen by the length of this chapter and the other stories I posted. It's great that I'm an inspiration to some of you; it made me very happy. Oh yeah, no one guessed right about the surprise. I didn't really expect anyone to get it right. The main thing people said was that Riza was wearing a miniskirt, although I thought it was funny when gundams forever suggested Hayate be in the room. Seriously it's not what you think. It's not really a good surprise. When you read about it, you're probably going to say "oh, that's it." I make up for it with the fluff. Well, on with the story. Enjoy!

* * *

It was ten at night and Riza was still wide awake. Normally she would already be asleep but at this moment she just couldn't get herself to fall asleep. Tonight was unusually warm so instead of wearing her normal light blue pajamas she wore her silky light blue nightdress that barely covered any of her legs. In fact it only covered about five inches of her legs. Roy would be extra determined to enforce the miniskirt rule if he saw her now. So she was currently sitting on her bed playing tug-o-war with Hayate and his toy piece of rope. She yanked the rope hard enough to pull Hayate onto her lap where she began scratching his belly and head. Hayate yipped in enjoy. He relished the attention he was getting from his mommy. He had barely played with her at all today. He spent most of the day watching her do paperwork or was with Maes, Roy, and Armstrong. The only time he had with her was at night and that was after she finished getting ready for bed. They were only brought of their joy by a knocking on the door. Hayate jumped off Riza's lap and crawled under the pillow. His head later emerged with a gun in his mouth. Riza took the gun and strode to the door. With her gun ready, she slowly opened the door to see who was bugging her at this hour. 

"Colonel!" There standing in front of her was Roy, a very wet Roy. He was soaked from head to toe. The shirt he was wearing was completely see through and sticking to his body. His pants were just as wet. Little droplets were falling from the pants leg hems. Both arms were wrapped around his body, trying to keep himself warm. He was shaking even though it was warm out. Riza set her gun down on a nearby table and opened the door wider to look at Roy.

"We're off duty; it's Roy," he said shivering. It hadn't registered in his mind Riza's nightclothes. He was too busy making sure he wasn't going to die of hypothermia. "Can I come in?"

"Of course,' she replied as she moved aside to let him in. Roy walked in and stood in the middle of her room. After Riza closed the door and locked it, she turned her attention back to Roy. His back was turned to her, and he was shaking uncontrollably. She then noticed that he was dripping all over her hardwood floor, the floor that she had cleaned earlier today. She hooked her hand in his arm and dragged him into the bathroom. Once there, she shoved him into the shower stall where he could freely drip without messing up her floors. She exited the bathroom but quickly returned with her hands full of towels and what appeared to be clothes. They were set aside on the counter before she entered the shower. In the shower with Roy, she pulled his shirt out of his pants and started unbuttoning it. She looked into his eyes while she was doing this. "What happened?"

"Water pipe…room…flooded…lots of water," he answered shivering. His body had gotten colder when Riza finished unbuttoning his shirt. The air was hitting his cold body and it was causing him to shiver more. He had tried to sit down and curl into a ball to make himself warmer but Riza had stopped him. She pushed him against the shower wall and held him there as she slipped off his shirt. It was dropped to the floor and Riza went back to ridding Roy of his wet clothes. Roy was having trouble standing because his legs were shaking. He helped support himself by using one of the shower knobs as leverage. Nothing was really registering his head beside that he was cold. That was until Riza unbuttoned his pants and started unzipping it. _'Where am I? Huh? Riza? She looks hot in that gown! I can see down her…what the hell? She's undressing me!'_ Riza's hands were on the pants' waistband and were about to pull it down when the hand that was on the shower knob applied enough during his shock to turn it. Since it had been fixed earlier that day, water shot out onto the two of them. Riza jumped back in surprise before she reached out and turned off the shower. She glared at Roy who was having a major nosebleed. It then donned on her why. The water had made her gown completely see through, and Roy could clearly see that she wasn't wearing a bra. Riza quickly covered her chest with her arms and walked out of the shower to the counter. She wrapped herself with a towel and turned to face Roy who was still trying to control his nosebleed. A quick sigh left her mouth before she grabbed a towel and a couple of tissues and walked back to Roy. She gave Roy the tissues which he promptly put his nose. While he did that, she wiped his body down. Then she wrapped the towel around his waist, a few inch above his pant, and made sure it wouldn't fall. Before Roy could protest, Riza slipped her hand under the towel and quickly pulled his pants, boxers as well, down to his ankles. Once there, she pulled them off with his socks and shoes, one leg at a time. She left them in the shower but pulled Roy out of it. Roy was in complete shock; he had just been undressed by his love.

"Has it stopped yet?" she asked since the tissues were completely soaked in blood. Roy made no movement. Everything was finally entering his mind and they weren't helping his body move. Riza used one hand to cup his face as the other went to pull Roy's hand from his nose. The bleeding had stopped. She took a wet tissue and wiped away the blood that was still on his upper lip. Then she threw it and the bloody tissues in the trash bin. Roy still hadn't made any signs of being alive. Riza cupped his face and made sure that he was looking directly into her eyes. "Are you alright?"

"Yes," was replied after a long staring contest. His body and mind were finally working. He blushed a dark shade of red when he noticed how close their faces and bodies were and that he was wearing nothing but a towel. His mind drifted back to a similar event where he was wearing nothing but a towel and she almost in nothing as well. He only came back to the present when his cheeks were suddenly cold again. His towel had unexpectantly fallen. He looked down, and she followed his gaze. _'Oh dear god,_' they both thought. The two of them were a deep shade of red. Riza removed her hands from his face and covered hers. She quickly turned around. Roy immediately scrambled for the towel on the ground. After putting it back around his waist and making absolutely sure that it wasn't going to fall, he laid a hand on Riza's shoulder to tell her that it was okay to face him. She turned around but couldn't look at him. Her hands remained on her face. It took some coaxing but Roy had managed to pry her hands from her. He held them in his hands while she slowly began to open her eyes. When she completely opened her eyes, he gave her a comforting smile, telling her it was okay. She slowly began to smile back at him, glad that this incident hadn't left an awkward feeling between them. His body began to shake from the cold that once again filled him. Riza noticed this. She could feel him shiver through his hands.

"Here," she said handing him the clothes that she had brought along with the towels. Roy took them and began inspecting them. It was a t-shirt and a pair of boxers. A smirk came across his face.

"Why do you have my clothes? Have you been stealing them and secretly worshipping me?"

"No," she flat out replied. "Those are from our last mission. You have a tendency to throw your clothes into my suitcase whenever we share a room. I haven't had Havoc put them back in your drawers. They needed to be cleaned."

"Oh."

"Now get dressed before you catch a cold." Riza left the bathroom, leaving Roy to dress himself. Roy got dressed as quickly as he could. His mind was filled with chaos. _'Okay. Riza just me naked and I saw her breasts. I would say that I'm in heaven and hell. I didn't want her to see me like that yet but seeing her-stop it. Get your mind off that and get dressed.' _When he finished, he went and cracked the door opened. He wanted to make sure that it was safe to come out. The sight he saw made his nose almost bleed again. He opened the door wider to get a better view. At this point, he didn't care that he would get shot for peeking. Riza was standing with her back to the bathroom near her bed. The towel she had on earlier was now on the floor. Roy was enjoying the sight. Her hands grabbed the bottom of her gown and pulled it over her head. Blonde hair cascaded out of the gown and onto her back. There was nothing on her body but her underwear. Then she did something that nearly gave Roy a heart attack. She turned around and faced him. There she was in all her glory, in nothing but her underwear. She didn't bother to cover herself. Roy's eyes were glued to one particular place. He watched the movement they made as she walked over to him, how her hair gently brushed against them. His eyes were only brought to hers when she cupped his face and moved it to look at her. There was desire in her eyes. Their faces moved closer together until… "Roy!"

"Huh? What?" Riza was standing in front of him, arms crossed. She was already in another nightdress. This one was a silvery white color and the same length as the last one. Roy was confused. _'What the hell? Wasn't she just half naked a second ago? And we were about to kiss. What happened?'_ Riza was looking at him with concern. He had been standing there for a while, staring at her. Also it took him a while to respond to her. She knew what he was doing a couple of minutes ago when she was getting dressed. His presence had been felt when she took off her gown. Instead of yelling at him, she continued to get dress since all he could see was her back. His eyes were glued to her the entire time but now he was just staring through her. It took awhile for Roy to finally acknowledge that she was really there. "Yes? Is something wrong?"

"No, not really. You were just daydreaming."

"Oh."

"Are you alright? You're shaking again."

"I'm just a little cold."

"That's probably because your hair is still wet. Go sit on the bed and I'll get a towel." Roy followed her order and sat on the bed. Riza went inside the bed to grab a towel and comb for Roy's hair. While she was in the bathroom, Roy was sitting on her bed, rubbing arms to get warm. Hayate poked his head out from where he was; in this case, it was from under the pillow. He noticed Roy sitting there, shivering. The night was no longer warm; cool air was now filling the room from the window. Cautiously, he crawled from under the pillow to Roy. Roy hadn't acknowledge that Hayate was in the same bed with him, let alone the same room, until he felt a wet nose against one of his elbows. His hand went to scratch the pup's head. Hayate immediately jumped into Roy's lap and started snuggling against him.

"Trying to get me warm, huh, boy? So I guess that means you forgive me for earlier." Hayate's answer came in the form of a lick. His warm tongue slid across Roy's palm as the man held him close, scratching his head. "I'm sorry about this afternoon as well. Thank you, Hayate."

"What, I don't get a thank you for all I've done for you?" Riza said putting a towel on Roy's head and rubbing it. She had returned to find Roy and Hayate sitting together. There was a sense of déjà vu between them as she continued to dry his hair.

"Of course," he replied putting Hayate on the ground. The pup ran into the closet. Roy grabbed Riza's wrist to make her stop which she did after she was certain that his hair was dry. Roy tossed the towel to the ground. He took her hands in his and placed them on his face. He looked into her eyes, smiling. "Thank you…for everything."

Riza rewarded him with a smile before she started combing his hair. His hair was easier to comb than hers since it was way shorter, but it was soft and silky like hers. The entire combing only took a couple of minutes as opposed to her twenty minutes of grooming. She was about to walk back to the bathroom to put the comb up when she felt hands at the back of her thighs. The next thing she knew, she was chest to chest with Roy, straddling him. His arms were wrapped around her body, and his head was resting against her shoulder. The comb laid on the ground with the towel.

"Roy!"

"You're warm, Riza." It was then that she noticed that Roy was trembling. His body was cold against hers. She relaxed a bit and let him continue to her hold. After shifting her body a bit to get more comfortable, she pulled him closer to her and held him. One arm wrapped around his shoulders while she ran one hand through his hair.

"Can you tell me what happened now?"

"Yeah," he replied holding her tighter. He was soaking in the warmth that she offered him. "A water pipe broke in my bathroom while I was out with the guys. After I got back from the bar, I went straight to my room. When I opened my bedroom door, there was a deluge and I got sweep down the hallway."

"That doesn't explain why you're here. Why didn't you go to Havoc?"

"He was still out drinking with the guys. I didn't go to Maes because of what happened this afternoon."

"So you came to me."

"You don't mind, do you?"

"No. You can sleep on the floor." That managed to get Roy to lift his head and look at Riza in the eyes. He made a "what?" face at her. She knew what he was thinking and what he had planned. "Did you think I was going to let you sleep in my bed with me? Well, think again. Only Buraha does that."

"But it's not like we haven't shared a bed before. We did it yesterday and this morning."

"That was because we had no choice."

"But the floor is cold and my back will hurt."

"It's either the floor or the office."

"But it's cold in the office."

"Then sleep on the floor."

"I could order you," he said as he put his head back on her shoulder. His arms pulled her body closer against his, as much as their bodies would allow him.

"And I could shoot you."

They were brought out of their playful exchange of words by some barking. Hayate sat on the ground with a quilt next to him. He had run into the closet to bring back Riza's grandmother's old quilt for Roy. Riza smiled at the pup and picked him up when Roy loosened his grip on her, allowing her to. She held him between their two bodies, stroking his fur. Roy removed one hand from Riza's body to scratch Hayate's head; the other remained to make sure she didn't far backwards onto the ground. Hayate savored the attention he was getting. After a quick kiss to the head, Riza put him on the bed. He rolled around on the bed happy about the praise he just got. Riza bent over to pick up the quilt with Roy holding her to make sure she didn't fall off. Once in hand, she moved closer to Roy and wrapped it around the two of them. Roy went back to his previous position, arms around her and head on shoulder. Riza held the quilt closed with one hand while the other was in Roy's hair. Her head was resting near the top of his. They sat in that position, enjoying each other's company. He could feel the warmth she was giving him, and she could feel his heart beating with hers.

"Riza, can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"Do you like me?"

"You know I do."

"Do you care about me?"

"I wouldn't be sharing my body heat with you if I didn't."

"Do you love me?" he asked with hesitation.

"Yes," she whispered into his ear.

"Really?" he said lifting his head to look her in the eyes. _'She just admitted that she loved me. Alright!'_

"I love you like I love Havoc and the others," she replied. _'Damn,'_ Roy thought as he dropped his head down in disappointment. Riza smiled when she knew that he couldn't see her. She knew what he was getting at when he started asking the questions and decided to have a little fun. She already knew Roy's love for her long ago. She loved him, yes, but she wasn't going to be the first one to admit it. Her head rested on top of his as she let him think about what to do next. _'She loves me as a friend and nothing else. Just tell her how you feel. Didn't I tell you leave me alone? No, you told your conscience that. I'm your heart. Oh. So I'm really going insane. No, you're just in love. Yes, I'm in love. I'm in love with a woman that only thinks of me as a friend. Have you tried showing her that you love her. I've tried. Didn't get far, did you? No, I always got interrupted. Try it now; no one can interrupt you. But what if she doesn't really love me afterwards? I don't know, but it's worse if you don't try. Alright.' _Riza brought him out of his thoughts. She was fidgeting a lot while he was lost in thought but in the last couple of seconds her body had stiffened. "Roy."

"Yes?"

"Get your head off my chest."

"Sorry," he said as he lifted his head up. During his thoughts he had accidentally dropped his head lower than what he had originally intended. It had conveniently landed on top of Riza's chest, and she wasn't too thrilled about it.

"Let's go to sleep. It's getting late."

"Alright."

"You can sleep with me," she said after a sigh. "If you remember the rule about your hands."

"Really?" he said surprised. His eyes were filled with joy as he looked at her. He didn't think that Riza would actually let him sleep in _her_ bed with _her_ in it. She nodded to answer his question. "Okay. I'll mind my hands."

"Good." Roy scooted them back a bit so that they were in the middle of the bed. Hayate had disappeared once again. Riza fixed the quilt so that it would completely cover them before she moved to lie down. She had intended to lay the two of them down on their sides because Roy had refused to remove his arms from her body but at the last second Roy shifted his body. Instead of lying side by side, he was laying on top of her. _'It's now or never, Roy. Go for it.'_ Roy laced his fingers with hers and held them above her head. He situated his body on top of her until he was comfortable with his position. Riza had tried to move him off of her but because of his weight she wasn't able to and had to settle with just laying there while he was accommodating himself with her body. All she was able to do was move her legs and at the moment they were just holding him in place. "What are you doing, Roy?"

"There is something I wanted to discuss with you. In this position, you can't reach for your guns."

"What is it?"

"I want to talk to you about this afternoon."

"You mean about me letting Maes torture you and encouraging Armstrong to as well."

"No, I'm talking about lunch."

"What about-" She was abruptly cut off by Roy's mouth on hers. His tongue delved into her mouth, gliding across every part of it and memorizing it. It soon came into contact with hers. They danced with each other, fighting for the lead. Roy's fingers tightened around her hands for a second as he tried to go deeper into her mouth. He soon removed them and placed them at her sides so he could hold himself up for better access to her mouth. He found no resistance against his sudden kiss, no attempt to get away. It was only broken when he was in need of air. Her chest was quickly rising and falling as she gasped for air. He had pulled away from her, panting for air as well. He didn't get to catch his breath before he was lip-locked with Riza again. She had raised her head to meet his in another kiss. One of her hands found its way into his hair, pulling his head down with hers as she laid back against the pillow. They began to ravish each other's mouth in an attempt for dominance. _'That was a surprise. Why did she do that? Does she really love me like a friend or is there more to it? And when did she learn to kiss like this? My god, she's a better kisser than me.' _This kiss was more passionate than the last one and lasted longer despite the lack of oxygen it had started with. One of Roy's hands found its way to one of Riza's legs and began running up and down it before resting on her waist. Riza's hands made their way around Roy's neck, holding him in place. Roy finally broke the kiss when he couldn't hold his breath any longer. They panted intensely for air as they stared into each other's eyes. "Let me ask you something, Roy."

"What?"

"Do you like me?"

"Of course I do. You think I would let just anyone hold me at gunpoint."

"Do you care for me?"

"Yes, I'll never let anyone hurt you."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes, I-" Riza put a finger to his mouth to silence him. He looked at her curiously because she stopped him when he was about to confess his true love for her.

"Are you in love with me?" she asked as she removed her finger.

"With all my heart."

"Good to know. Let's go to sleep."

"What! Let's go to sleep? But I just…the kiss…your tongue…my confession."

"You're too emotional sometimes. What did you think I was going to say? That I loved you with all my heart, too. Well, I do."

"Really?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"What's so unfortunate about it?"

"Let's see. There's a certain rule that forbids this kind of relationship."

"Right, I guess that's the first rule I'll change when I become Fuhrer. Then there's…the dress code."

"You can go sleep in the office, better yet go sleep with Maes. I'm sure he still has his pictures."

"Oh, come on. I was only joking. You think I would let any man besides me gawk or gaze at your set of legs." He began running his hand over her leg to emphasize his point about her beautiful legs. His index finger ran from the back of her knee all the way to her butt. Riza had sat up to get a better view of what he was doing. The two of them watched as his hands continued to caress her legs. It stopped at the back of her knee and started massaging it. At this point, Roy turned his attention back to Riza only to find her gazing at him with a smile. She was pleased with his actions. She laid back down. Roy began leaving trails of kisses down her leg up to her stomach. He had wanted to leave trail up to her lips, but Riza pulled his face up to hers just when he was about reach her chest. He stared into her eyes as he perched over her. "Seriously though, a miniskirt once and awhile wouldn't kill you."

"No, but I would kill you if you made me wear one. I'll stick to my own skirts."

"Or you could wear this little gown to work. It really shows off your legs…as well as you butt. Also you could look down it and see-" Riza pulled him into another kiss to shut him up. She'd rather kiss him than listen to him anyways. He made no objects. His body hovered above hers before she wrapped her arms around his body and pulled it fully against hers. The kiss broke a few moments later. "Or I could just shut up"

"That sounds like a plan," she said before pulling into yet another kiss. Her fingers ran down his spine, sending a chill down it. They kissed for what seemed like hours. It was only broken this time not by need for air but by a warm tongue that didn't belong to either of them. Hayate had come out from his hiding to find his mommy and daddy playing. He wanted to join in on the fun and started licking them. Riza didn't seem to mind the interruption. She was laughing as Hayate was licking her all over her face and neck. Roy, on the other hand, had other thoughts. He picked up Hayate by the scruff of his neck and propped himself over Riza with one arm.

"Did you have to interrupt us, Hayate? It was just about to get more entertaining. Maybe I should rethink about stir-frying you after all." Roy glared at the little dog that was staring back at him and panting. He gave a happy bark and was wagging his tail. _'That's what you think, Daddy. I have Mommy here to protect me.'_ The next thing Roy knew there was cold steel pressed firmly at his crotch. He looked down to find Riza glaring daggers at him and pointing a gun at his private parts. His attention was turned back to Hayate when he started barking in a mock laughter. He groaned as he apologized to the dog and put him back on the bed. Riza then slid the gun back under the pillow and laid back down. Roy made his position back on top of her. "Do you love that dog more than you love me?"

"Yes," she replied smiling. Riza loved Hayate but she was in love with Roy. That was all that mattered and a little teasing doesn't hurt either. "Besides we are only going as far as kissing and nothing else. Got it?"

"But-"

"We haven't even gone on a date. Did you think I would let you go that far just because we are in love with each other?"

"Yes."

"Well, you thought wrong. I think with my heart _and_ brain, not with my hormones among other things. I'm not like one of those women you date."

"Alright, I can wait. I'll wait however long you want to." In truth, Roy would wait forever if Riza wanted him to. Unlike the other women he had dated and slept with, he would do anything to please her, although he would put up a bit of resistance whenever it involved paperwork. He truly loves her and one day hopes to marry her, but until the day that he can, he'll wait.

"Good. Let's continue."

"So where were we?" Roy didn't wait for a reply. He just lowered his mouth on hers. His tongue slipped into her mouth, rubbing against hers as he continued to explore the depths of her mouth. At one point, Riza took control and flipped him onto his back. She broke the kiss and began kissing his jaw line all the way down to his collarbone and back up to his lips. Then she moved to lick his ear and nibble on it. This sent Roy into a frenzy and he flipped her back onto her back. He began kissing her from her lips to her ear and all the way down to her chest. The gown revealed enough of her breasts to allow him to gently suck at a small portion. He tried not to suck too hard so as not to leave a mark on her already beautiful skin. Then he would lick at that small area before he would suck it again. Riza's gasps were filled with pleasure as he continued. He would've took the whole thing, breast and gown, in his mouth if Riza didn't guide him back to her neglected mouth. His hands had found their way under her gown and were slowly making their way up. When they had almost made it to their goal, a knock on the door had stopped them and the kissing. "What is it now?"

"Impatient, aren't we?" Riza said as she held his face in her hands. Their foreheads touched as they tried to calm their breathing and the heat that has been building up within them.

"Well, it's interrupting my playtime."

"We'll continue this another time, but first we better see who it is." Riza slid her hand under her pillow and pulled out Hayate instead of her gun. Roy gave her a confused look, which Riza returned with a smile. She moved Roy off her so that she could lean over and place Hayate on the floor. "Go see who it is, Buraha." The pup scampered to his doggy door, sliding every once and awhile on the floor. Riza turned her attention back to Roy. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with a bewildered look on his face. She moved and sat on his lap. He wrapped the quilt around the two of them. "I always have Hayate greet whoever it is at the door whenever I'm in a much too comfortable position to get up. I can figure out whom it is by Buraha's reaction and if it is an emergency. If there is a scream and footsteps running away then it was Breda. If there is whimpering then it is Havoc because Buraha is still afraid of him. Then if there's barking followed by…"

"Hi, Hayate. Is your mommy awake?"

"That would be Fuery because he is the only one that refers to me as Buraha's mommy. I better let him in. He wouldn't knock on my door this late unless it was an emergency."

Riza got off of Roy's lap and walked to the door. She didn't bother to grab her gun because it was only Fuery. He was as harmless as they come. When she opened the door, Fuery wasn't the only person there to greet her; Havoc and Falman were there as well. Havoc was wrapped in a blanket, shaking like a madman. Falman was stiff and saluting her. In the arm that was at his side was some blankets and pillows. Fuery was scratching the back of his head while he held Hayate. The only thing that was making this scene uncomfortable was the fact that the three of them were wearing nothing but boxers and t-shirts.

"Umm…some water pipes broke and the dorm was flooded," Fuery finally said after they quit staring at her and her outfit. "We would have stayed with Havoc but he discovered that one of the pipes broke in his bathroom which is why he's shivering. The colonel wasn't in his room so we were wondering, if we could stay with you."

"It's fine, Fuery. The colonel is already here. A pipe broke in his room, too. Come on in." Riza stepped aside to let the three of them in. They walked in to find Roy sitting Indian-style on Riza's bed wrapped in a quilt. He gave them a slight wave as they continued into the room. Riza locked the door and made her way into the closet. Fuery put Hayate on the bed before he went to stand in front of Roy with the others. Hayate crawled under the quilt and made his way to Roy's lap. Once there, he curled into a ball and drifted into a light sleep.

"So the dorm and Havoc's room got flooded, too. I bet he opened his door to be greeted with a wall of water. The same thing happened to me."

"I believe so, sir," Fuery spoke. "We dropped him off at his room before we headed to the dorm. The dorm wasn't flooded by the time we got there. It happened when we finished undressing. Water just started pouring from the ceiling. We managed to get out there before we got wet."

"We couldn't sleep there anymore so we made our way back to Havoc's room," Falman continued. "We found him curled up in a ball, shivering, in the middle of his hallway. After some effort we got him into a bathroom and dried him up. He had some spare clothes in his locker so we changed him as well. We went to your room but you weren't there so at Fuery's suggestion we came here."

"Where's Breda?"

"Sleeping with the Elric brothers," Fuery answered. By now the three of them were sitting on the ground staring up at Roy. The pillows were set aside while the blankets were put on Havoc to make him warmer. He hadn't made a noise in all the time he was there. He was too busy trying to get warm. "He's still afraid of Hayate."

"Armstrong?"

"With the lieutenant colonel. Those two get along very well together. They're probably telling each other stories about their family. We only came here because Fuery said that Hawkeye wouldn't mind us sleeping in here."

"Well, we didn't have anywhere else to go. The others officers are spending the night in the infirmary, mess hall, or the offices. It's cold there."

Riza returned from the closet with another quilt and some more blankets. She motioned for the guys to move which they did. They sat on the bed with Roy while she went to work. The comb and towel that was laying there was picked up and placed on a side table. She took the quilt and spread it over the floor. Then she took the pillows and lined them up on one side. A neatly folded blanket was placed on each pillow. Once done, she told them that they could sit back on the floor. They got back on the floor and Riza sat on the bed next to Roy. Havoc had managed to get warm enough to actually speak. He was always one to find the best questions.

"Where are you sleeping, Mustang?" Nervous looks seem to appear on Falman and Fuery's faces but in their heads they were wondering the same thing. There were only three pillows and three blankets on the ground. Also the quilt only looked big enough for the three of them. "There doesn't seem to be enough room for you down here."

"After a lot of pleading, I convince Riza to share her bed with me," he replied with a smirk of his face. They all looked at him with wide eyes. He was actually going to sleep in _her _bed with_ her_. It was one thing to share a bed with her in the infirmary room when you're hurt but this was a totally different situation. The smirk stayed on his face until Riza smacked the back of his head. She had gone back to her usual self, hiding her feeling for Roy from the others.

"Don't think that anything is going to happen. I'm only letting you because I couldn't stand your whining any longer." The others were now laughing. They only stopped when Roy glared at them. _'Sigh. It's not like I can tell them what is really going on between Riza and me. I wish they would leave so I can make-out with Riza again.' _He rubbed the back of his head as Riza took Hayate out of his lap. She took the pup, turned around, and laid him next to her pillow. The guys' noses nearly bled like a broken dam at the sight they saw when Riza was slightly bent over, putting Hayate down. She had forgotten about the length of her gown. Luckily for her, Roy saw the expression on their faces and turned to see what they were staring at. He immediately lifted a part of the quilt with one of his arms to cover her butt. No one was going to look at what was his. He shot them a glare, and they started wiping away the blood that had managed to drip out. The quilt was only put down when he was certain that they couldn't see her butt anymore. "It's getting late. We better go to sleep."

"I'm not really tired," Roy said. "I'm actually kind of hungry."

"Me, too," Havoc agreed. The other two nodded in agreement. But what were they going to eat? The mess hall was closed and crowded with people. The solution came to Fuery. He looked up at Riza who was looking suspiciously at everyone after she had put Hayate down.

"Hawkeye, would it be alright if we ate some ice cream?"

"Go ahead if you all hungry."

There was a confused look on Roy, Havoc, and Falman's faces when Fuery crawled into Riza's closet and came out with a cartoon of ice cream. There was a piece of tape on the carton that had Fuery's name. He handed everyone a spoon, except Riza. She declined it. Fuery opened it and started eating. The three maintained their confused and somewhat shocked face until Fuery answered the question they were thinking by opening the closet door wider for them to see.

"How did you get a mini-refrigerator in your closet?" Roy asked.

"Edward made it for me," she replied as she sat next to him, wrapping the quilt around her.

"How did you know about it, Fuery?" Havoc asked taking a spoonful out the carton. It sent shivers through him as he ate it. It reminded him of how cold the water was when it came crashing down on him.

"She showed it to me whenever I first watched Hayate here," Fuery answered. Everyone was eating ice cream. Riza, occasionally, would take Roy's spoon and get some for herself before giving it back to him. "She said if I got hungry I could eat whatever was in there. After awhile there was food with my name marked on it so I knew what to eat and what not to eat because she started keeping Hayate's food in there."

After awhile they were done eating ice cream. They had been hungrier than they thought and ended up finishing the entire carton. Fuery threw the carton in one Riza's trashcan. It was getting late and everyone decide it was time to sleep. Riza was way ahead of them. She was leaning against Roy with her head on his shoulder fast asleep. Roy moved her body into his arms and laid her on the bed beside Hayate. He laid down beside her, pulling the quilt up to their shoulders, while the others were making themselves comfortable in their makeshift bed. Fuery slept in the middle with Havoc and Falman on the outside. They were positioned where their heads were next to the bed and their feet pointed towards the wall. After saying goodnight, they all fell asleep.

* * *

I finally finished the chapter. Sorry that it took so long to update. I finished thechapter Friday but was having Internet problems and couldn't post it. And sorry if there are any mistakes; it is a long chapter and whenever I edit it under my account, words tend to get pushed together. It would have been longer but I think it's enough for now. I'll put the other ideas I had for this chapter in the next one. Was it fluffy enough? Did I make you blush? Because I sure as hell did. I didn't think it would get like that. For future reference, I do not write lemons. I can never get myself to go that far in their relationship. So don't expect one in this story. Review as usual. See ya. 


	10. Chapter 10

Umm...hi. (dodges chair) Hey, I'm only a few days late on updating! It's not like last time where it was a week and a cliffhanger. Umm...what's with the rope? (You somehow tied me to a chair) Oh, come on! Let me go! (Hello flamethrower) Hah, only Roy is allowed to do that. (Bye-bye flamethrower) Do your worst. (Man shoved in front of me) Maes? What are you...Wait! Bring back the flamethrower! (Hello Elicia pictures) AHHHHHHH! Pictures! Alright, I'll write faster just get him away from me! (Roy drags Maes away) Thank you, Roy! Now if you could only marry Riza. (Shoves Maes back in front of me) Hey, I was only kidding, sort of.

Now that my little bit is over on to the reviewers. For some reason, this was what popped into my head about what you all were thinking when I didn't post yet. Now my reviewers. TiNyLoVeBuBBLeS, there will be plenty more hilarious moments. The last chapter was me making it up to Roy for the torture I put him in earlier. And my head was completely filled with fluff that week. I needed to empty it. But do not fret, it's going to get plenty funny. fullmetal philosopher, the thing about the lieutenant general being Riza's grandfather came from the manga Perfect Guide 2. Also it still crackes me up about what you said about you and your Roy plushie. Now on to the real show, enjoy!

* * *

Eating ice cream before going to bed was definitely a bad thing to do because it was one in the morning and they were still wide-awake. Havoc, Falman, and Fuery laid on the ground staring at the ceiling. The sugar in their system was keeping them awake. Roy and Riza were quietly sleeping in the bed next to them. They were lucky that they didn't eat as much ice cream as Havoc and the others did. Getting tired of watching the ceiling the three them rolled onto their stomach and began talking. They kept it quiet enough so as not to wake up Roy and Riza. 

"Fuery, why did you get the ice cream for us to eat?" Havoc asked in a hushed tone. "Wasn't there anything else in there to eat?"

"Yes, but the ice cream was the only thing that we could all share," Fuery answered in an equally hushed tone.

"What are we suppose to do for the rest of the night?" Falman asked as quiet as he could. "None of us can fall asleep, yet. We need something to entertain us until we do."

"We play poker," Havoc answered as he pulled out a deck of cards from his pillow. "After a few hands we should be tired enough to go to sleep."

"Good idea," Falman said. "But what about the poker chips? You wouldn't happen to have those in your pillow as well?"

"No, the only other thing I have is my toothbrush."

"Same here. What about you, Fuery?"

"Just the toothbrush. Can't we just play for fun?"

"I guess so," Havoc said.

So they prepared for their poker game. Fuery scooted down a bit so they could have some more room to play. Havoc and Falman moved their bodies so that they were at a slight angle. This way they couldn't look at each other's cards. Havoc acted as the dealer. They went through a couple of hands. Falman won most of them so far. Fuery won the rest. Havoc was having as much luck with playing cards as he did with women. They still weren't sleepy yet and continue on with the games. They were only brought out of it when they heard either Riza or Roy move. Fuery lifted his head high enough to find the two still sleeping. He motioned that it was all clear and they continued. The next time they were interrupted it was by Riza's voice.

"No…stop that…that tickles," she said in a quiet voice. Havoc, Falman, and Fuery's eyes nearly dropped out of their sockets. _'Are they actually doing what I think they are doing? And with us here no less.'_ they all thought. Fuery buried his head behind the cards in his hand trying to hide the blush on his face. Falman was clutching his cards tightly in his hands focusing as best he could on the game, and Havoc was wiping away his nosebleed. None of them knew what they were supposed to do in this type of situation. "Quit it…don't do that…HANDS, ROY!" That was followed by a loud smacking noise accompanied by some whimpering. Havoc and the others kept their heads down for the next couple of minutes so as now to be caught in the crossfire. The next thing they knew Hayate was dropped in between all of them. The three looked up to find Roy was sitting up, rubbing his hand. There was also a rather red handprint on one of his cheeks. Riza was leaning across him since she had just put Hayate down. "You don't mind if Buraha sleep with you three? He keeps licking me."

Apparently Hayate was wide-awake like the men and wanted to play with his mommy. Riza and Roy were both sleeping on their sides so it gave him the perfect access to her face. He started licking her but she wasn't in the mood. She just wanted to sleep so she gave the little pup a gentle nudge with her hand. Hayate didn't give up. He crawled under the quilt and started licking her legs all the way to her feet. Riza gave him another gentle push but with her foot this time. The pup still wouldn't give up. He made his way back up to her body and crawled into her nightgown. Once there he started licking her bellybutton. His fur started rubbing against her skin, and she was trying to keep from laughing. Roy, who really wanted to just sleep, decided to put an end to Hayate's antics. He slid his hand under Riza's gown to pull to pup out and put him where he couldn't bug them. Riza tried to stop him. But just as he moved his hand to grab Hayate, the pup avoided his grasp and Roy ended up grabbed something else. Riza immediately turned over and slapped him in the face. Hayate, sensing that his mommy was in trouble, latched onto Roy's hand. Roy quickly drew his hand out from under her gown with Hayate still attached. After a minute of biting, Riza finally pulled Hayate off his hand. After giving Roy a glare that would freeze hell twice over, she turned to put Hayate on the ground only to find the others awake and playing poker. There was going to be some explaining done by all of them later. She put Hayate down to get their attention.

"Sure," Fuery said taking Hayate in his arms after he placed his cards down. Hayate started licking the man's face. Havoc, Falman, and Fuery decided not to ask about what had transpired between Roy and Riza, at this point in time, but they had some idea. They rather not get shot at in the middle of the night. "I don't mind."

"Fine by me," Havoc and Falman said at the same time.

"Good," Riza said going back to her side of the bed. She made sure to give Roy another glare before lying down. "It's almost two. You all should go to sleep. We have work tomorrow. Goodnight."

With that she turned on her side intent on getting some sleep. Roy said goodnight to them as well before laying back down. The three decided it was getting late and that they should sleep as well. Most of the sugar was already used up, and they were getting tired. Havoc packed up his cards and placed them back into his pillow. They all rolled back onto their backs and pulled up their blankets before going to sleep. Hayate decided to curl between Furey and Falman. Within minutes they were asleep.

"Sorry," Roy whispered into Riza's ear when he was certain that the others had gone to sleep. "I didn't mean to do that. You believe me, right?"

"I know," she replied as she turned over to look Roy in the eyes. Her finger gently traced the red mark that was on his face. He slightly winced at the pressure it applied to him. "Sorry I hit you so hard."

"It's alright. I deserved it." Roy took the hand that was caressing his cheek and kissed its palm. She could feel him smile against it. "All is forgiven?"

"Yes," Riza said taking her hand from his and resting it on his neck. There she began to gently rub it. She got on one of her elbows and looked over Roy at the men below them. Once certain that they were truly asleep, she smiled down at Roy. He knew what was she going to do but he decided to beat her to the punch. Within seconds, Riza was beneath him. Lips pressed against his. _'I can get use to this,'_ Roy thought as he slid his tongue into her mouth. Their tongues fought for awhile before giving up for the need of air. She gently pushed him off herself so that he was lying next to her like before. "Goodnight, Roy."

"Night, Riza," Roy said as he pulled her body closer to his. They ended up chest to chest with each other. Roy had enveloped his arms around her waist to hold her in place against him. Riza rested her hand on his chest since it was one of the few places she could put them in this position. She gave him a quick kiss before snuggling closer to him and falling asleep. Roy stayed awake for a few more minutes. He was getting use to the idea of having Riza in his arms. _'So warm. Maybe Maes wasn't wrong about marriage. Hey, get that out of your mind! What are doing here? He told you to leave him alone. But he is making the wrong choice. He's a bachelor, not a married man, through and through. Hey, would you two quit arguing and let me enjoy this.'_ Roy went back to enjoying the feeling that Riza sent tingling through his body as he held her, while his mind and heart fought with each other. He already knew whose side he was going to take. The calm and peaceful look on her face had finalized his decision. He gazed at it for a long time before succumbing to sleep.

Roy, strangely enough, was the first one to wake up. He spent his time watching his Riza. His hand tucked strands of her hair behind her ear so that he could better see her face before he ran the back of it across her cheek. She stirred a bit but didn't wake much to Roy's enjoyment. He wanted some more time to just look at her. At the moment all he wanted to do was hold her and keep the smile that very much resembled Maes whenever he talked about his wife or daughter on his face. _'I'll have thank Maes one day for this. If he hadn't been so persistent, I wouldn't be here right now. Although it would be better if Havoc and the others weren't here but that couldn't be helped.'_ Roy would brought out of his thoughts when Riza moved closer to him and had somehow slipped one of her legs between his. In the process, one of her gown's straps dropped down to her arm. Roy took this opportunity to kiss the newly exposed skin before bringing the strap back to her shoulder. After his fingers had put the strap back in place, his fingers trailed down her arm until it rested at the small of her back. His touch had sent a shiver through her and unknowingly she cuddled closer to him. Her head nuzzled against him. More recognized by Roy from her attempt to get closer was the fact that her leg had inadvertently rubbed against _him. _He had to bite his lip to keep from moaning and waking her up.

It was about a half hour later when Riza woke up to jet black eyes and a smile. She couldn't help but smile back at him. Her arms slid up from his chest to circle around his neck. Without bothering to look over Roy and make sure that the others were still asleep, she kissed him. Roy returned the kiss with equal passion. The others were far from their minds. That and they knew that the three were still sleeping. The snoring was a bit tip off.

"Morning, Roy," she asked him when they broke from the kiss. "Have a good sleep?"

"Definitely, we should do this more often," he said before pulling her into another kiss.

When they broke apart, Roy moved to lay on his back and pulled Riza along so that half of her was on his chest. He laid there running his fingers through her hair. She laid with her eyes closed as she listened to his heartbeat while one of her hands was spayed across his chest. After awhile, Roy had moved his hand from Riza's hair to run up and down her spine. He had kept his eyes on her the entire time, watching her reactions to his touch which were her arm moving to wrap around his waist and her head nestling against his neck. Listening to her slow, calm breathing Roy felt himself falling back to sleep. It didn't last long because he had heard Riza trying to stifle a laugh. He looked down at her. When she felt Roy's eyes on her, she looked up at him. With a smile she motioned for him to look at the others to answer his confused look. He nearly busted out laughing at the sight he saw.

Falman was sleeping in the same position he was last night. He looked like a stiff board the way he was laying. His arms were at his side as he laid on his back. It looked like he was standing at attention in his sleep. Hayate was curled into a ball on his stomach...wearing Fuery's glasses. That wasn't what made Roy and Riza want to laugh. About a foot from Falman was Havoc and Fuery cuddling together. They were both on their sides facing each other. Havoc had his arms tightly circled around the younger man's body. Fuery's arms were around Havoc's shoulders. Their legs were slightly intertwined. There was barely any space between the two. The puppy boxers that Fuery wore and the ducky boxers that Havoc wore weren't helping Roy and Riza contain their laughter. Then the unthinkable happened. Havoc moved his hand down and grabbed Fuery's butt. Thinking that she would be able to hold it in any longer, Riza got up and crawled over Roy. She didn't even get to place one foot on the ground before Roy grabbed her waist and stilled her action. She ended up straddling him.

"And where do you think you're going?" Roy asked thoroughly enjoying the position he had her in.

"I'm going to go take a shower," she said as leaned down to give him a quick kiss. After she broke the kiss, she sat back up placing her hands on his stomach. She moved around a bit to get comfortable because she knew Roy wasn't going to let her go too soon. It had aroused him since she had ended up sitting on a certain area. She smirked a bit knowing well what she was doing to him. Deciding to have a bit more fun, she move one of her hands to the waistband of his boxers. She gave it a quick snap before running her index finger downward until it nearly touched her. The entire time Roy was watching her actions. Before the finger could reach her, it had grazed down _him._ Not being able to take it anymore, he flipped over onto his stomach and buried his face into the pillow. '_Argh, damn it. I almost didn't make it. God, she's good at teasing me. It going to be hell waiting until we finally…'_ he was brought out of his thoughts when he felt that finger trail down his spine. It sent a chill throughout his entire body. Then he felt her hands, her gun-skilled hands, massage his back. He was in paradise…and hell since he couldn't have her, yet. Content with what she had done to Roy, she gave him a kiss on the back of his neck before getting off him. She made way to her bathroom, grabbing her uniform along the way, and stopped in the doorway to give him a message before entering it. "And don't even think of following me. I have guns all over the place."

"I wouldn't think of it now," he said removing his face from the pillow. When she had gone into the bathroom, he dropped his head back onto the pillow. His face was totally flushed at what had just transpired between the two them. He was glad that no one could see him right now. The great womanizer was head over hills in love with a woman that had complete control over him. No other woman, besides his mother and sisters, had any control over him. Riza was the one and only. It took him a minute to finally calm his face down. By then he had laid his head on its side so that it was looking to the bathroom. He heard the shower being turned on and out in the corner of his eyes he saw two little ears perk up. Looking down, he saw Hayate looking back him with Fuery's glasses still on him. Hayate turned away from Roy and jumped of Falman's stomach. He ran towards the bathroom door. Roy watched the pup curiously as it ran to the bathroom. He gave a slight flinch when Hayate ran into the door. Someone needs to get those glasses off him. The door slowly opened and Hayate entered. Before it closed, Roy caught a glimpse of Riza wearing nothing but a towel. _'Lucky mutt.'_ Roy rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling as he waited for Riza to finish or for one of the men to wake up.

Roy must have fallen asleep because the next thing he remembered was a warm tongue running across his lips. He opened his mouth to invite it in but it stayed on his lips. His hand moved to grab the back of Riza's neck so that he could bring her close to him only to find something else._ 'What is this? This doesn't feel like Riza's hair. And what is this thing around her neck?' _As his continued to grab at whatever was on top of him, he heard a laugh from nearby. He knew something was up. How could Riza be kissing him and laughing at the same time? His eyes quickly shot open to find two dark eyes staring back at him.

"Hayate!" he screamed as he sat up. Hayate fell backwards into a towel Riza had held out to catch the wet pup from her position at Roy's hips. Roy started furiously rubbing his mouth, trying to get the taste of dog out of it. His sudden scream had woken the rest up. Falman was standing within seconds, looking around at what was going on. Fuery and Havoc were in each other's arms for a few seconds before realizing whom they holding onto. After a quick scream, they released each other and tried to straighten themselves.

"Umm…morning," Riza said as she dried Hayate. She was in her uniform as opposed to her nightclothes like everyone else. By the time she had finished drying Hayate, everyone was calm again and sitting on the floor; Roy was still sitting in the bed muttering obscenities about Hayate. That was quickly stopped by Riza's glare. Hayate had jumped from Riza's lap into Fuery's arms upon completion of the drying after his shower with her. Riza handed Fuery his glasses, which he promptly put on. "Did you all have a nice sleep?"

"It was fine," Falman answered. "Thank you for letting us stay here."

"It would have been better if I woke up to a woman in my arms instead of Fuery," Havoc cried out. Falman and Roy laughed at that since it was a funny sight. Fuery sat a distance away from Havoc near Falman. He was scratching Hayate's neck, trying not to think of what had happened. In truth, he would have been happier to wake up with Hayate in his arms.

"I did," Roy rubbed in Havoc's face. That earned him a "tap" on the face, which coincidently landed in that exact same place he was slapped last night. Little tears began to form at his eyes as he tenderly touched his cheek. It still hurt from last night. Havoc smirked at his superior. "That hurt and I was only telling the truth. You were asleep in my arms when I woke up."

"With the way you put it, it sounded like bragging to me and you know how I hate it especially when I'm involved." Roy looked the other way because he knew that was what he was doing. He was just lucky that he only received a slap instead of a bullet. It's a whole lot easier to brag about anything whenever she wasn't around to reprimand him. His eyes moved over to Havoc. He found him with a smirk on his face. That was quickly wiped away when Roy held up his hand and made a snapping motion where Riza couldn't see it. Falman and Fuery decided to stay out of it. They valued their lives too much. Riza got up from her position and walked to the door. Hayate ran after her but stopped when she told him to. He, at the moment, didn't want to stay with the men but he did make his way back to Fuery's welcoming arms. "Fuery, get him some ice for his cheek. I'll go get some spare uniforms for everyone."

"Is mine still in your closet?" Fuery asked moving to her closet to get the ice.

"Yes," she replied before leaving. "Mustang's is in there, too."

"Why does she have yours and the colonel's spare uniform in her closet, Fuery?" Falman asked when Fuery pulled out two uniforms and some boots. Fuery walked over the bed and laid them down after handing Roy some ice. Roy gently pressed them against his cheek, flinching from the cold and slight pain. "I find that odd."

"She keeps one of mine in case Hayate accidentally gets it dirty whenever I watch him. As for the colonel's, I don't know."

"It's because he has a tendency to throw his clothes into her suitcase whenever they end up sharing a room on a mission," Havoc said, clearing up that part of Falman's question. "I usually put them back after she gets them cleaned. She must have had it cleaned recently because she hasn't asked me to put them back yet."

"Oh," all that Falman and Fuery could say.

Fuery began to get dress, but Roy decided to stay in his boxers for awhile longer. He was having too much fun sitting in Riza's bed in nothing but a pair of boxers and a t-shirt. Riza still hadn't come back by the time Fuery finished dressing so he sat back down with the others and played with Hayate.

"Fuery, is there anymore ice cream in the mini-fridge?" Havoc asked as his stomach started to grumble. "I need some food in me."

"There's still one container but it's Hayate's," Fuery answered.

"The mutt has his own ice cream," Roy said. Fuery nodded his head as he started playing tug-o-war with Hayate. "I'm sure he won't mind if we eat some of it to fully wake us up."

"Yeah, it's not bad," Havoc said as he shoved a spoonful into his mouth. Somehow between the conversation Roy and Fuery were having, he had gone into the closet and grabbed the container along with some spoons. He handed the spoons to everyone but Fuery refused. "It's actually chicken flavored. Good choice for Hayate."

"You shouldn't be eating that," Fuery protested.

"It's alright," Roy said trying to calm him. "Hayate doesn't seem to mind. Right, boy?"

The puppy let out a happy bark. It wasn't to answer Roy's question rather it was because Fuery started scratching his belly. "Don't worry so much."

"We're only going to eat a little," Falman added before taking a spoonful himself.

"Don't say I didn't warn you?" Fuery said before going back to playing with Hayate.

"So, Chief, want to explain what happened last night?" Havoc asked shoving more ice cream in his mouth. Roy swallowed the ice cream quickly at the question only to receive brain freeze. "About the slap."

"Oh, that," Roy started while trying to act casually. Deep down, he was jumping and shouting in joy and fear. "Nothing really. I just accidentally grabbed something I wasn't suppose to."

"And how can you accidentally grab her chest?" Havoc questioned him.

"Because of Hayate. He crawled under her gown and I stuck my hand there to get him out. Instead of grabbing him, I grabbed her. That is all."

"I find it strange that you aren't bragging about grabbing the infamous Hawkeye's breast. Many men have gone down just looking at her the wrong way. Yet, you're still kicking."

"It's probably because he's her superior," Falman commented. "That's why he's still alive."

"And because she's already threaten me with physical harm and a room full of paperwork."

"Umm…Sir?" Fuery timidly asked. After Roy acknowledged him, he continued. "Is there something going on between the two of you? You seem a lot closer than before."

"Yeah, Chief, you got a thing for her? You never did tell us who this mystery woman that you had your eye on was."

"I don't know what you're talking about. Hawkeye is just a friend and a fellow co-worker."

"Then why are you so red?" Havoc said pointing to Roy's cheeks. Unbeknownst to him, his face had gotten bright red when the conversation had taken a turn to his relationship with Riza. The ice wasn't helping him either. Roy tried to change the conversation but Havoc continued to push it. "You do like her. Are you in love with her?"

"Yes," Roy finally admitted to them. It took all his will power not to snap his fingers and kill the man on the spot. Riza probably wouldn't have liked to have a black spot on her floor or a ruined quilt. Also it would have just given him more paperwork to sign and he was already going have a room full of it. "I do love her."

"How far have you gotten with her?" Havoc persisted. "Pretty far considering you've shared a bed with her for the pass few days."

"Havoc…" Roy warned him. "We've done nothing but kiss. I've only admitted it to her last night before you all had to interrupt my make-out session with her. She made it perfectly clear that was as far as we going last night, kissing and nothing else."

"That must have burst your bubble."

"Not really. I don't mind waiting. She can take all the time she wants. I'll wait until she is ready."

"You must really love her if your willing to wait for her," Fuery said with much enthusiasm as Havoc nearly fainted at Roy's response. He wasn't use to a womanizer like Roy being so patient with a woman. The woman may have been Riza but it was still a shocker. He usually got his way especially when it involved a night with him. So Havoc was sort of having an out of body experience while everyone continued on. Roy had nodded with plenty of vigor at Fuery's statement to confirm that he really did love her. "That's great."

"Wait until Hughes finds out about this," Havoc said after finally coming back to reality. "He's going to have a field day with it."

"He's not going to find out about. Do I make myself clear?" Roy eyed each one of them and held one of his bare hands up in a snapping position to indicate what would happen if they did. Everyone quietly nodded their heads indicating that they understood. Although they did wonder where his gloves were at this point in time. "I'm glad you see it my way."

"Umm…Sir?" Fuery shyly asked. "Does she love you, too?"

"Yes, she does. Oh, and if she finds out that you told anyone about this you probably can guess what's going to happen to you. I'm probably going to get yelled at for admitting how we feel about each other. I should hide her guns but she has so many."

"She has thirty-one hidden throughout her room." Fuery pointed out. "There's usually two on her at all times. In addition, there are four hidden in her desk and two in mine. She also has daggers hidden in her boots if she should ever run out of bullets."

"What kind of woman have I gotten myself involved with?" Roy said as he and the others nearly fainted at the amount of weapon Riza kept. They were definitely going to keep her relationship with Roy a secret now. "Remind me never to get on her bad side."

"Same here," everyone else piped in.

"So Mustang, I've been wondering something," Havoc began with a perverted look on his face. "What size is she?"

A bullet shot through the room, flying dangerously close to Havoc's head. It had missed him by barely a millimeter. They all turned their heads to look at the smoking wall behind Havoc. Then they turned them to the origin of the bullet. Riza stood at the door with two uniforms and some boots in one arm and a gun pointed at Havoc. She had heard the question and was definitely not pleased with it. She closed the door behind her, locking it, and made her way further into the room.

"What was that, Havoc?" she said lowering her gun down to a better target.

"Nothing, ma'am."

"Really it sounded like something." She fired her gun. Luckily for Havoc, he was sitting Indian-style. The bullet hadn't hit him anywhere but it was extremely close to a cherished part of his body. "Let's try this again, Havoc."

"The colonel told us about your relationship with each other," he shouted out as he sought shelter behind Fuery and Falman.

"What was that, Colonel?" she asked turning her gun onto Roy.

"They figured it out," Roy said holding up his hands defensively. "Please don't shoot me. I'm your boyfriend."

"I never said you were my boyfriend." A little dark cloud formed over Roy's head and he curled up into a ball. Everyone noticed this and looked at him strangely. Riza had actually lowered her gun. Roy wasn't usually in this type of mood. He had gone from trying to save his life, though it was never really in danger, to gloomy. Riza just sighed and rubbed at the throbbing headache she had when she figured out what was wrong. "Fine, you can be my boyfriend, my _secret_ boyfriend." That cheered him up. He jumped up ready to kiss her but stopped when she pointed a gun at his forehead. Then she moved her aim to Havoc. "Havoc, you leak out a word about this then be ready to dig your own grave."

"What about Fuery and Falman? They know as much as I do."

"I trust them." Riza holstered her gun and laid the two uniforms down on the bed with Roy's. She gave Roy a quick kiss on the non-bruised cheek before sitting down. After awhile the air in the room didn't seem as thick with death and everyone was once again calm. Roy sat down next to Riza, and Havoc came out from behind Fuery and Falman. Hayate was held in Fuery's arms. Havoc brought out the ice cream, and they started to eat it again. Riza hadn't noticed this because she had turned around to click the safeties on the two guns she had hidden under her pillow but Hayate did. _'Hey, that's my ice cream that they're eating. Mommy got that especially for me. The least you guy could do is share it with me.'_ Hayate's whimpering brought Riza's attention back to her front. She turned around to see Havoc, Falman, and Roy eating ice cream and on that container was the name Hayate. She looked at Fuery with a raised eyebrow. He waved his hand signaling that he had tried to tell them but they wouldn't listen. Hayate continued to whimper as they continued to eat his ice cream. "Why are you eating Hayate's ice cream? I had that specially made for him."

"Don't worry, Riza," Roy said to her. "We just needed a morning boast. Hayate didn't seem to mind."

"He does now. Didn't Fuery tell you not to eat it? He knows that you shouldn't eat it."

"Yeah, but we ignored him," Havoc said after swallowing a spoonful. "It's great that you made it chicken-flavored for Hayate."

"Specially made ice cream. You spoil that dog too much, Riza."

"Not really, sweets isn't that good for him so I let him eat it only once every two weeks, but that's not the point. I had that specially made for him."

"Yeah, we know. You made it chicken-flavored."

"Well, yes and there's chunks of chicken in it but more important I put dog food in it for nutritional values."

"DOG FOOD!" the three of them yelled.

They all started spitting out what they could and started clawing at their tongues. Havoc and Falman grabbed their toothbrushes and ran for the bathroom. Roy followed immediately after them. Fuery and Riza sat there trying so hard not to laugh at their misfortunes. When the door closed behind Roy, they couldn't hold it any longer and started laughing. Hayate was fed a little bit of the ice cream that was his.

"Riza, I'm borrowing your toothbrush," Roy shouted through the door.

"Alright, just don't use the green one. That's Hayate's toothbrush."

"Argh. Damn it."

"I better go brush my teeth as well," Fuery said trying to stop laughing as he handed Hayate to Riza. He stuck his hand in his pillow and pulled out a toothbrush of his own. He also picked up the spoons that the others were using. He might as well clean these while he was in there. He made his way into the bathroom. "You should have listened to me."

While they were brushing their teeth, Riza set about cleaning her room. She put Hayate's ice cream back in the fridge while having to listen to him whimper about it. Then she folded up her quilt and their blankets and place them, along with the pillows, in her closet. Next she went to make her bed. The uniforms were draped over her chair while she straightened up the quilt there. After the second attempt, Hayate had messed up the bed on her first attempt, her bed was squared away. By the time she had finish, everyone was coming out of the bathroom.

"I hope you don't mind us leaving our toothbrushes in there," Havoc said stretching. "I think we're going to have to stay another night."

"I figured. It's fine. I already put your pillows and blankets in the closet. As well as thrown out your magazine, Havoc."

"What?"

"You should have know better than to bring that in my room, but I did leave your poker cards alone."

"But-"

"Give it a rest. I have enough perverted things to deal with. I don't need you adding to it."

"I'm not that perverted," Roy interjected.

"Clothes aren't the only things you accidentally throw in my suitcase."

"I always did wonder where those magazines went," Roy said out loud but had meant it as a thought. The others stared at his sudden admission. Roy finally caught theirs and especially Riza's gaze at him. He did what he thought was best in preserving his life. He sought shelter behind Havoc. "Umm…I won't look at them anymore, Riza."

"If you know what's good for you. Now get dressed, we have work in forty-five minutes."

Riza handed them their uniforms. Roy had managed to sneak a kiss in before she shoved his uniform in his hands. The three of them quietly got dressed as Furey and Riza sat on the edge of her bed with Hayate running around behind them. There was silence in the room until Riza finally broke it.

"You know we're going to have to change the plan again," Riza stated as they finished dressing. "Maes is going to know that Roy slept in my room."

"Your right," Roy agreed. The others shook their heads in agreement. "I'm never going to hear the end of it."

"I guess we're just going to have to use this to our advantage as well," Falman commented. "He doesn't know that we slept here, too."

"So, what's the plan?" Havoc asked.

* * *

Well, another chapter down. Next chapter, the office scene. Here a hint: you're going to feel extremely sorry for one of the male characters. I'll try to update by Saturday, if not then maybe on Monday. Review and see ya! 


	11. Chapter 11

Yeah, I know. I'm late. I did plan on updating on Saturday. I just didn't plan on breaking my arm on the Wednesday before during a bike ride. Stupid hill. Damn tree. My arm is in a cast and a sling for the next two months. At least I wore a helmet. So for the pass week I've been typing with only one hand. And as you can guess my updates will be slow now. I guess you'll just have to endure with me.

Let's see. Last chapter I gave you a hint about this one. Well, you're not going to feel extremely sorry for someone. The idea I had for that hint got pushed to the next one because this chapter developed a life of its own. Seriously what started as 11 pages turned into 25 pages. It's a miracle that I typed that much in one week with one hand. You'll still feel sorry for someone just not as bad. I hope you don't have anything to do for the next couple of minutes because this will take awhile to read.

Now my reviewers. Twin Psychos no need to beg. Definitely no need to beg like Havoc. I'm updating as fast as I can. Thanks to littlefiction for giving me ten reviews in a single day. Because you did that you gave me my 200th review. xcrossmyheartx, you have the weirdest dreams. Mine are just as weird if not weirder. BGwildRose, I have no idea where this stuff comes from. My mind works in a different and weird way. Also if anyone else wants to put my story in their C2 then go for it. It would be my honor. Okay, I'll stop now and let you read.

* * *

Havoc and Falman were sitting on their desks waiting for Maes to barge in so that they could start the plan. Their uniform jackets were draped over a chair. Fuery were laying out blankets on the ground to make it look like they slept in the office. Luckily for them that there were always some blankets and pillows in the colonel's office closet; Riza and Roy occasionally ended up sleeping in the office whenever Roy slacked on his paperwork and it got too late for them to go back to their rooms. The men didn't feel like dragging their own stuff back and forth between the office and Riza's room. When everything was set up, all they had to do now was wait for Maes to come in and make his assumptions, even though they were mostly true. The basis of the plan was to distract Maes from remembering that his birthday was coming up. And what better way to distract him than with Roy's love life. 

"Hey, he's coming," Breda said as he entered the room. He and the Elric brothers were informed about the plan as well as other things earlier that morning. His main job was to know where Maes was at all times. Ed and Al had a special job. They were in the town gathering the necessary materials for their tasks. Upon hearing Breda and the oh-so-familiar sound of footsteps running away, Havoc and Falman grabbed their jackets. Fuery picked up a blanket and started folding it up. "Hurry, he's almost here."

"Morning, everybody!" Maes burst into the room just as Havoc had put one arm through a sleeve of his jacket. Falman was buttoning up his jacket while Fuery was placing the folding blanket on a desk before going to the next one. Breda sat at his desk startled at the sudden sound. Maes took in what they were doing and analyzed the situation. "Did you guys sleep here? Because of the indoor swimming pool better known at the dorms?"

"Well, they did," Breda answered. "I slept in Edward's room."

"There wasn't enough room for all of us so we drew straws and Breda won," Fuery added as he finished folding the blankets. "The rest of us slept here since the infirmary and mess hall were already full with other officers."

"Did Roy sleep here? I heard that his room got flooded as well."

"I thought he slept with you," Havoc said innocently. "You two are best friends after all. We just assumed he would bunk with you."

"No, Armstrong stayed with me. If he didn't sleep with me and not in the office with you then where could he have… " A smile came onto Maes face as he figured the only possible place Roy could have slept last night. He wanted to burst out cheering that his friend had finally found a wife but he held it so as not to scare everyone. The others saw this smile and knew that the plan was working. "Has Roy come in yet?"

"No, he's not due in for another five minutes," Falman asked as he helped Fuery pick up the pillows. "But knowing him, he won't be here for another hour."

"Right. And what about Riza?"

"She left with Hayate to get paperwork for the colonel fifteen minutes ago."

"I should have figured. I guess until they get here, we'll just have to entertain ourselves."

Everyone knew what that meant. They slowly began to back away from the man but had only gotten to take a few steps before he pulled out his pictures. Maes shoved the pictures into everyone's faces and added his praises of his daughter along with them. They knew this was bound to happen but it scared the crap out of them no matter how many time Maes had done this to them. Fuery had managed to sneak away with the excuse of putting away the pillows and blankets before the lieutenant came back. He stayed in the office while the others had to endure Maes. He felt sorry for them but that didn't mean he was going to join them.

"I see you're already showing your pictures, Lieutenant Colonel," Riza said as she walked in carrying some papers with Hayate at her feet. Maes had somehow gotten a hold of Havoc, Falman, and Breda at the same time. Havoc and Falman were each under one of his feet. They were trying to claw their way out from under Maes's boots. He had a grip on Breda's shirt collar, holding him in front of his body while a picture of Elicia was barely an inch away from Breda's nose. Riza quickly noticed that Fuery was missing. Hayate immediately ran to Maes, yipping at man. The pup made it a point to sit on Havoc's head as he pawed Maes's pants leg. Maes bent down, releasing Breda much to his relief, to put a picture in front of Hayate. The pup started licking the picture. "Are you done, Hughes? We have a lot of work to do."

"Yes, lots of work!" Havoc and Falman shouted from their positions on the ground, Breda from behind Riza, and Fuery from inside Roy's office.

"Oh, but I haven't even started yet. By the way, Riza, isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen? Look at her riding her tricycle. She follows me everywhere. My own little stalker."

"Put those away, Hughes," Riza said as calmly as she could with her gun pointed at his head. She had a big enough headache from earlier and wasn't in need of Maes adding to it. "Or I'll confiscate them. Or worse let the colonel burn them."

"No!" Maes shouted as he moved away from Riza, clutching his pictures close to his heart. Much to the joy of Havoc and Falman, he moved off of them, allowing them to get away. They took refuge behind Riza with Breda. Hayate had jumped off Havoc when he felt the body below him move upwards. Riza had not once lowered her gun. She was too busy trying to keep from firing it and thinking if it would be better to shoot Maes or the picture, leaning towards the former. It really was a nice picture of Elicia. It'd be a shame to destroy it because of her obsessed father. "Not my little angel."

"Then put them up. You're not even supposed to have them here for this visit. Remember?"

"You didn't mind yesterday."

"That's because you weren't shoving them in my face, and you wanted to get back at the colonel for the billboard incident with a slideshow."

"That explains why he was so zoned out at the bar last night," Havoc commented. "I thought it was strange that he wasn't drinking with the rest of us."

"You guys went to a bar without me," Maes nearly cried out. "Why didn't you invite me? I needed a drink after what happened, too."

"We needed some time away from you. I'm still traumatized from the bed incident especially when you grabbed…"

"And when you…" Falman added.

"I understand."

After Maes promised to quit shoving pictures in their faces everything went back to normal. Havoc, Falman, and Breda went about with their duties. Fuery came back into the room to do his duties while Riza headed into hers and the colonel's office. Maes followed closely behind her with Hayate bring up the rear. She headed directly for her desk, after putting Roy's work on his desk, and took a seat. She immediately began to work on her paperwork, not really paying any attention to why Maes was there. It was part of the plan to have him there. Beside she already knew why he was there. They just had to wait until another piece of the puzzle made his way into the their office. Maes and Hayate sat on the couch. He sat there showing pictures to the pup. The promise was to not shove them in Riza and the other's faces but she never said anything about Hayate. Which if anyone thought about it, it didn't really matter. Hayate was the only one glad to have a picture of Elicia constantly put in front of him. He loved playing with the little girl whenever he saw her.

During the time that Maes was playing with Hayate, he had other things on his mind. He wanted to know if Roy had actually spent the night with Riza. At one point, he was tempted to ask Riza if Roy did but decided it was better to hear it come out of his friend's mouth. That and he didn't want to interrupt Riza when she was in work mode. He was liable to get a bullet or two shot at him if he bugged her enough. She already wasn't in a good after he shoved a picture in her face. And with the kind of questions he wanted to ask, she would kill him and dump his body in a river without thinking twice about it. No, he would just wait for Roy to finally come to work.

"Morning, everybody!" Roy shouted as cheerfully as he could. He kept a huge smile on his face as he walked in the office. The others gave their greetings and went back to work. He made his way into his office. There was actually a little bounce to his step as he entered the room. "Morning, Lieutenant!" She replied a simple "morning" back to him as she continued her work. Roy was almost tempted to lock his office door and have a make-out session with Riza on the couch. But he knew that Maes was in there as well. His part in the plan was to be happy as hell like something extremely good had happen to him, which was true so he didn't really have to act happy. This was to make Maes suspicious and have him ask Roy a lot of questions. Roy had stared a bit longer at Riza to add to Maes's growing suspicious before turning to the man that they were going through hell for. "Morning, Maes! Did you bring more pictures of Elicia for me to see?"

Maes had nearly fainted at Roy's enthusiasm. It was too much like his own. Then there was the fact that he asked about pictures of Elicia. He never ever wanted to see Elicia's pictures unless the girl herself or Glacier showed them to him. The gears in his head started turning at rapid speed. They were processing everything that happened. After his brain finished analyzing, he caught Roy sneaking glances at Riza while he was doing his work. The smile on Maes face got bigger and bigger as time passed. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw a tint of pink on Riza's cheeks and what appeared to be a smile. He couldn't take it anymore. It was tearing him apart. He needed to know if Roy had spent the night with Riza. He needed to know if his best friend had finally found a wife. That and if he was going to be the best man at their wedding.

"Hawkeye?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Could you leave the office for a few minutes? I need to have a chat with Roy about something important."

"Of course, sir. I will go get the rest of the colonel's paperwork." Riza stood up and made her way to the door, Hayate running after her. Roy kept his eyes on her the entire time, which Maes duly noted. Maes had stood up as well and made his way to the door. This was going to be a private conversation between him and Roy. By the time he was standing at the door with his hand on the doorknob, Riza was standing in the middle of the main office. "Come boys, I'm going to need your help carrying the rest of the colonel's paperwork."

"So Roy…" Maes began after he shut the door. He made his way back to Roy and sat in the chair across from him. The grin was evident on his face as he sat in the chair. "Anything you want to tell me?"

"Not really," Roy answered knowing full well what was about to happen. This was going to be hell to him. He braced for the full force of what Maes was going to ask him. He just had to keep telling himself that this was a part of the plan. "Unless you haven't heard about the pipes."

"I've heard about the pipes last night from Armstrong."

"So there's nothing for me to tell you."

"Alright so we're going to play it that way. I guess I' just going to have to ask those questions I know you're dreading."

"And what would that be?"

"Where did you sleep last night?"

"I slept here. Why do you ask?"

"Really? But Havoc said that you were nowhere near here. You couldn't have slept in Edward's room. Breda was already sleeping there. The infirmary and mess hall are too cold for your sensitive skin. And you definitely didn't bunk with me so there is only one possible place. You slept in Riza's room."

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Do you want to explain why you're in such a good mood? You've never asked me to see Elicia's pictures in all the time that she's been alive."

"Can't I be in a happy mood because I feel like it?"

"A normal person can, you can't. So how was it?"

"How was what?"

"Sleeping with Riza. Did you two stay up the whole night?"

"Maes, for the last time I didn't sleep with her especially not in the way you're thinking."

"Is that an admission that you slept with her but didn't _sleep_ with her?"

"No."

"Come on, you can tell me, even though I have a good idea what happened. I know how you are, probably pushed the Mustang charm to its limit with her."

"Don't you ever listen? Get your head out of the gutter! I DID NOT SLEEP WITH HER!"

Maes would have persisted if he wasn't interrupted by a knock on the door. Before Roy had even given permission for the person to enter, the door opened. Lieutenant General Grumman or now better known as Riza's grandfather walked in. He closed the door behind him and gave Roy and Maes a quick wave hello. The two of them shot out of their chairs into attention and a salute. Roy was hoping that the general didn't hear any of the conversation he just had with Maes. He hadn't or at least it didn't show if he did. Grumman quickly waved their salutes off and the two returned to their seats. He looked over at Riza's desk.

"So my granddaughter isn't here," he said with a sad tone. "And I was hoping to have some tea with her later."

"She should be back in a few minutes, sir," Maes said. "She went to get some more paperwork."

"That girl works too much." Grumman moved closer to the two until he was standing beside Maes. Maes quickly got up and offered his chair to the old man, which he gladly accepted. "She needs to have some fun. Maybe a man to lighten her up." Roy knew where this conversation was going. Things were going to get worst for him now that both of his and Riza's matchmakers were in the same room. "I wish you would reconsider my offer of her hand in marriage. You two would make good couple. And I would sure like some great-grandchildren. But enough about my granddaughter." This was worse than hell and Roy knew it. Maes had now just heard about the marriage ordeal. And the general just had to throw in the great-grandchildren comment. Grumman may not have seen mischievous glint in Maes's eyes but Roy certainly did. _'Sure General, I would love to marry your granddaughter just let me kill the best man first. The look he has makes me want to rip his eyes out. After that's done Riza and I would be happy to get marry when it's possible for us to. That is if she wants to marry me.' _Roy was brought out of his thoughts when Maes started coughing. He focused his eyes on the general before him. He found the general looking back at him with a raised eyebrow which he quickly figured out why by the heat he felt in his cheeks. When Grumman had mention the comment about great-grandchildren, his face completely flushed. Maes was smiling way too much right now. Roy casually blinked back and had managed to pale his cheeks as Grumman started to smile. That wasn't a good sign, definitely not a good sign. Roy breathed a sigh of relief when Grumman didn't push on. That didn't mean he was out of danger. He was either going to hear about it from their chess match later in the day or from when Maes decides to put his two cents in, probably the latter. "Now that you're back to normal, Mustang. I wanted to see how you were doing since your room was flooded last night."

"Pretty great considering where he spent the night," Maes said before Roy even had a chance to open his mouth. "Because it definitely wasn't with me or Edward. And he didn't sleep in the office, infirmary, or mess hall like the others."

"Oh," Grumman said with a raised eyebrow. "Where did you sleep?"

"I…umm…well I…spent…I mean…last night…"

"Go on, Roy," Maes pressed him. "Tell the general where you slept. We can already figure it out."

"Maes," Roy said after taking a deep breath. "Move away from the general."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to burn you to a crisp" Roy stood up from his seat ready to chase after Maes if necessary. This was too much to take and Roy was going to take the easy way out. He held up his hand ready to snap. "And I don't care if I get court-marshaled for it."

"Umm…Roy, you're not wearing your gloves." Roy looked to his hand to find it bare. He quickly shoved his hands in his pants pockets in hopes that they were there. They came out empty. This was the first time in his entire life that he had forgotten his gloves and now he was left to deal with Maes defenseless. "So what was that about burning me?"

"Damn," Roy said as sunk back into his chair. He grabbed the edge of his desk and pulled his chair closer. Then he did something that shocked both Maes and Grumman. He started banging his head against his desk. Maes and Grumman were caught off guard and didn't know what to do to make him stop. "Damn. I can't believe I left them in Riza's room."

"Aha, so you did sleep with Riza," Maes nearly shouted at the top of his lungs, pointing a finger at Roy. "Like I've been saying, it's about time you two got together."

"Is this true, Mustang?" Grumman said with a serious tone that had a hint of eagerness in it. "Did you sleep with my precious granddaughter?"

"I didn't sleep with Riza. She made me sleep on the floor."

"An unlikely story with the way I know you two feel about each other and with the cheerful mood you were in earlier."

"So does this mean you're accepting my offer?" Grumman added after taking in the newfound information into consideration. Roy didn't answer; he continued to bang his head against his desk, muttering how stupid he was. "Mustang quit banging your head and answer me!"

The conversation had taken a detour from the way it was originally planned especially with Grumman there. He was suppose to get Maes to figure out that he did spend the night in Riza's room but afterwards it was suppose to lead into Maes ranting about him marrying Riza which would lead to him to threaten the man to get out and the rest of the plan to be carried later in the day. But with Grumman there and the marriage proposal floating in the air, things got too complicated for him. Couldn't the old man figure out that this was a part the plan for Maes's birthday party? They had already explained to him about it. Roy was banging his head so hard that there was an echo in the room so none of them heard the door open. Riza stood in the door slightly alarmed that new boyfriend was banging his head against his desk while Maes just stood there and watched. Because Maes was standing directly behind Grumman, Riza didn't know that her grandfather was in the room as well. Havoc and the other stood behind her gaping at what was going on. Riza stepped further into the room towards her desk with everyone close behind. She had managed to go back to her calm state while everyone else was still shocked.

"Colonel, quit banging your head on the desk." Maes gave a slight jump when Riza started talking. He turned around to find everyone carrying a huge stack of paper in his or her arms. Grumman didn't bother to turn around. He knew his granddaughter was bound to come back sooner or later. He was glad that it wasn't later because he knew Riza could stop the colonel from his current actions somehow. "You're losing brain cells that way and those don't grow back. A few more hits and you won't be able to do your paperwork." Roy started banging his head even harder. Maybe if he used all his strength, he might render himself unconscious and he wouldn't have to go through this. Havoc and the others had quickly left after they put their stacks down somewhere on Riza's desk. Fuery made sure to grab Hayate before leaving. He also made sure to close the door after they left. When Riza turned around, she found herself face to face with her grandfather. He immediately took in his arms. "Grandfather?"

"You don't need to play dumb anymore, Riza," Maes said from his position behind Grumman. "We know about you and Roy. It wasn't hard to figure out."

"What?" Riza said as her grandfather left her go and moved away. In an instant Maes had her in a bear hug. She had lost all the air in her lungs. After a couple of attempts, she broke free of his grasp breathing in air. She sort of figured out why Roy was banging his head now. It was time to improvise. "What are you talking about?"

"About you two spending the night together."

"What did you tell them?" Riza shouted at Roy hoping that he would catch on.

"I told them that I did sleep in your room since they already figured that part out but they won't believe me when I say that you made me sleep on the floor," Roy said as he continued to bang his head, hoping that Riza was quick to continue with their change in plan.

"We know that's a lie. We've seen you share a bed before."

"But I did make him sleep on the floor, Maes," Riza sighed. She made her way over to Roy and grabbed his collar to prevent him from continuing to bang his head against the desk. She didn't think the desk could handle anymore of Roy's hard head. "It's one thing to share a bed when you're in the infirmary but it's different when it involves your own personal bed."

"Oh. So you and Roy…"

"Didn't sleep together. He spent the night on the floor. The only one that I slept with was Buraha."

"Oh, sorry. But I still say that you two should get married."

"No."

"And I was sure that I was going to get some great-grandchildren this time."

"Is that all you think about, Grandfather?"

"Yes."

"Now that everything is clear, can we all get back to work?" Riza asked as she rubbed at her growing headache with her free hand. She still had her grip on Roy's collar since he was still attempting to destroy the rest of his brain cells. "And that wasn't a question."

Maes and Grumman got the hint. Maes gave Roy a quick pat on the back before going to open the door. Grumman managed to get a kiss on the cheek from Riza before joining up with Maes. Maes held the door open as he and Grumman gave one final apology before leaving. Riza breathed a sigh of relief that it was finally over. She looked back at Roy. He wasn't in perfect shape but at least he wasn't banging his head anymore, although that was because she was still preventing him from it. She released his collar only after moving to stand in front of him. This way, if he was going to bang his head it would be against her stomach. She was extremely glad that he didn't. There would be more things to explain if someone walked in and saw it. Although they would still have to do some explaining if someone walked in now since Roy rested his face against her stomach. Her hands cupped his face and moved it so that she could see how much damage he had self-inflicted. Luckily there was only a small cut that had already stopped bleeding. There wasn't really anything else aside from the headache that he was having. She grabbed his shoulders and pulled him up to stand with her. Then she guided him to the couch where she laid him down.

"Fuery," she shouted as she brushed away some of Roy's hair.

"Yes?" Fuery timidly said as he slowly stuck his head in the room.

"Get me the first-aid kit and some ice."

"Yes, ma'am" Fuery left in search of the items. Riza busied herself with cleaning the cut and removing the dry blood as best she could at the moment. After that she just sat there with her hand on his neck gently rubbing his cheek while she waited for Fuery to return. She was a little concerned that Roy hadn't talked yet. He had been quiet since she last spoke to him. He was just lying there, staring at the ceiling. About ten minutes later, Fuery returned with the ice and first-aid kit. "Is he alright?"

"He only got a cut from banging his head but what's worrying me is that he hasn't spoken in the last twenty minutes."

"Do you think that he hit his head too hard? Is he going to be okay?"

"One way to find out." Riza leaned down, lowering her mouth onto his. Fuery had turned around blushing. This wasn't the most comfortable position for him but he stayed because he was worried about his commanding officer. By the time Riza had pushed her tongue into Roy's mouth, he was back his usual self. He had wrapped his arms around her body and pulled her closer to him. His tongue never relented against hers. Riza finally broke the kiss when she remembered that Fuery was still in the room. Sitting back up, she looked down at Roy to see him smiling. "There's my Roy."

"So what did I miss?"

"What do you remember?"

"Saying you made me sleep on the floor. And…well, that's about it?"

"That's all. That was some self-preservation by being an idiot and banging your head on the desk."

"Did the plan work?"

"With some improvising, I think it did. But we're going to have to change the plan a bit. Knowing Maes and my grandfather, they've teamed up together to get us married. Fuery, get the others."

"Yes, ma'am"

"Now sit up, Roy," Riza said as Fuery left to gather the others. Before Roy could complain that his headache hurt too much for him to get up, she grabbed his jacket and pulled him into a sitting position. "I need to bandage your head. You cut it banging your head so hard, which leads me to a question. Why were you banging your head?"

"Well, I couldn't take it with Maes and your grandfather questioning me about where I slept last night especially since your grandfather had to mention the offer of your hand in marriage.

"Maes knows about that now. This is getting too complicated. It was suppose to be a simple surprise birthday party and now its us trying to keep Maes out of our relationship while trying to keep him from finding out about the party."

"Also I left my gloves in your room which I accidentally said out loud so Maes found about me sleeping in your room earlier than I planned. It also meant that I couldn't threaten him out of the room so we could get ready for this afternoon's part of the plan. I was banging my head because of my stupidity."

"It was more stupid continuing to bang your head than improvising like I did. And you do know that you have an extra pair of gloves in you desk." Riza opened the first-aid kit and started the task of fixing Roy up while he was calling himself stupid for not realizing he had spare pair of gloves a few inches away from him earlier. She took out some cotton balls and wetted them with rubbing alcohol. With one hand she pushed Roy's hair out of the way while the other swiped the cotton ball across the cut. Roy instantly started whining at the sudden pain the alcohol caused. Riza gently blew on the cut to ease the pain. When she moved her head away, she found Roy blushing. He'd like the idea of Riza taking care of him, more so now that she was his girlfriend. _'Seriously would it be so bad marrying Riza? Yes, it would. No, it wouldn't. Quit saying nonsense. He loves her. That all he needs to know. I really do. I love the gentle touch she has. People may see her as a cold person but she is so warm when I hold her in my arms. I love the feeling she leaves on every part of my body even if it's just a brush of our uniforms. Her kisses can be fierce at times but tender as well. Hell, I'd even give up sex for her. Oh no, I've lost him. That's it, Roy, give in to your love for her.' _He was only brought out of his thoughts by warm lips against his. He quickly realized they were Riza's and leaned into her. He had been daydreaming, and Riza kissed him to bring him out of it after she bandaged his head. The kiss didn't last as long as he had hoped but there was plenty of other times and places to do that. She pulled away from him to find his blushing even brighter. It confused her a bit since Roy had never blushed like that but she figured it had something to do with that far off look and smile he had. "What were you thinking about that has gotten you so happy?"

"Nothing," he replied as she gently pushed him to lay on the couch.

"Really?" she said raising an eyebrow. She grabbed the bag of ice and laid it on his forehead. Roy let out a little sigh of relief that the ice was giving his head some comfort though he would rather have Riza continue to ease his pain. "Your face says it's something. Tell me."

Roy motioned her to come closer. She became suspicious that this was going to lead to a make-out session with Roy but she did lean closer when he assured her that nothing involving their tongues and lips was going to happen. Roy hesitated at first. He wasn't absolutely sure that he should be telling her this. It was something he kept to himself but now he was wondering what she loved about him. Was she just in love with him for his body? No, he should have known that that wasn't true with Riza but with his past relationships, if you could call them that, he couldn't help but wonder. With his confidence at its peak, he whispered his thoughts into her ear. She moved away from him and just looked him in the eyes. Roy feared the worst when she hadn't responded to his comments. That was soon wiped away when she smiled at him and lowered her head next to his. She made certain that he could feel her lips on his ear as she told him exactly what he wanted to hear. She gave his ear a quick nibble before she made her way back to a sitting position. Her head didn't get to go far as Roy reached his hand out to grab it and pull it back to his lips. He held his lips close to her ear as he whispered something else to her. Riza immediately flushed a bright red but before she could say anything the others had entered the room.

"Hey, Chief, have fun banging your head?" Havoc said standing in a line with the others.

"Not as much fun I will when I burn you to a crisp," Roy replied from his laying position.

"The lieutenant colonel must have did a number on you to get you to result to that," Falman said from beside Havoc. Havoc had flinched at Roy's comment of barbequing him and was taking a step back. He knew out of everyone he was always the one that would get hurt especially for his big mouth. "It wasn't what we expected to see when we entered the room. The lieutenant colonel was suppose to be running for his life by the time we got back."

"Well, him and the lieutenant general ganging up together to question me really made me lose it."

"Are you alright?' Fuery asked from the other side of Falman. Breda wasn't in the room with the others. He was doing his job of keeping tabs on Maes. Ed and Al were still wandering through town looking for their supplies. Hayate was also lined up with Havoc, Falman, and Fuery. He sat next to Fuery. "You didn't injure yourself too bad?"

"It's only a cut and a massive headache. It's pretty much the same as doing paperwork."

"Speaking of paperwork," Riza began. "You have a lot of it to complete now that you're back to your usual self."

"That much!" Roy said pointing to the five stacks of paperwork on Riza's desk as he lifted his body up a bit to look at the amount paperwork she had brought back for him. The entire time he was holding the bag of ice against his forehead. Riza was only slightly kidding when she said that he would have to do a room full of paperwork for grabbing her chest that night. This would keep Roy occupied until Maes reared his obsessive head once again to start asking questions. "But that's cruel!"

"Well, you shouldn't have touched me last night," Riza said glaring at him. "Now to the task at hand. It seems we're going to have to tweak the plan a bit now that my grandfather has joined Maes in his pursuit in trying to get Roy and me married."

"How many more times are we going to have to change the freakin' plan?" Havoc whined.

"Until Maes's birthday is over. That's how long."

They changed the plan only slightly. Riza's grandfather joining with Maes wasn't that big a deal. They were just going to be seeing a whole lot more of him. Soon after they finished changing the plan once again, Havoc and the others went back their duties. Breda was informed of the change when he returned and quickly adapted to it. Ed and Al weren't told when they came back from the town since it really didn't effect their jobs. Roy was still on the couch when Havoc and the others left. Riza was still sitting with him.

"It's time that we got to work as well, Colonel."

"But I'm an injured man. I should go to the infirmary."

"Fine, go to the infirmary. You can sleep there tonight. I'll share the bed with Havoc this time."

"Cruel woman."

"Procrastinator."

"Ice lady."

"Philanderer."

"What's that?"

"It's another word for womanizer. Get a dictionary, Colonel. And get to work!"

Riza stood up and took the now cold bag of water off of Roy's head. She moved over to a nearby plant and dumped the water in it. Then she tossed the bag into the trash. During this time, Roy had sat up and watched her. She made her way back to him after throwing away the bag. Her body towered over Roy as he continued to just sit instead of doing his work. She wasn't going to let him get away with not doing his paperwork just because they were together. No, she was going to be even sterner with him now.

"Get to work, Colonel," Riza said pointing her gun at Roy's head. Roy put on his puppy dog eyes even though he knew they weren't going to work. He had to try something. It was way too much paperwork for him to do. "Don't give me that look."

"Can you at least give my boo-boo a kiss?" Roy pleaded with her.

"Fine." Riza lowered her gun and bent down to kiss Roy's forehead. It took Roy a whole millisecond to pull Riza beneath him. He used his weight to hold her down while he held her arms above her head so that she couldn't shoot him. The only thing that he was wishing for at the moment was that there wasn't so much clothing between them. "Colonel, what do you think you're doing?"

"Giving my girlfriend a kiss."

"We've been through this. In the office, I'm your first lieutenant. In one of our rooms, I'm your girlfriend. No one other than Havoc, Falman, Fuery, Breda, Alphonse, and Edward are to know about our relationship. It's too dangerous for us to be openly affectionate to each other. Of course Maes and my grandfather will find out somehow and we'll be put through hell."

"But there is always my office. I can lock it."

"Nice try, Roy. People will get suspicious if you keep your office constantly locked with only me in it. Now give me my kiss and get off me. You have a lot to do today."

Roy couldn't help but smile at the kiss comment. He moved around a bit on top of Riza to get in a better position, which was just hovering over her for the moment. Riza changed that position for him when she moved her legs out from under him to place them at his sides. He ended stomach to stomach with her but his upper body stayed a few inches above hers. A blush had spread across both their faces when certain areas touched each other. After awhile it faded away. It took some convincing but Roy finally let go of Riza's arms. She promised not to shoot him. Her arms remained laying above her before a thought and grin came to her. _'I wonder how red I can make Roy blush?' _She moved her gun-wielding hand downwards. Roy was about to grab it and stop her since he thought she was going to shoot him but stopped since his mind had gone into mental overload. At the same time that Riza was moving her hand, she lifted her hips into Roy's so that she could holster her gun. She pressed it firmly against his, stilling him completely. She smiled victoriously at the shade of red on his face. Then she caught him off guard again when she threw him off her, making him fall onto the ground flat on his back. His hands immediately went to cover his crotch so that Riza couldn't see the effect she had on him but to no avail. She caught a glimpse of it when she turned to lay on her stomach.

"Horny, Roy?" Riza asked looking down at him from her position on the couch.

"You know I am. Why did you have to do that?"

"You were taking too long to kiss me. I had to speed things up. Back to normal yet?"

"Give me another minute."

Roy took in deep breaths to help calm himself down. Occasionally he would lift his hands slightly to see if he had gone back to normal. Riza laid there looking down at him with amusement on her face. It was always funny to see Roy flustered especially since he always had a calm appearance on at the office. After awhile Roy finally got himself under control. Riza got up from the couch and stood over Roy. She held out her hand to help Roy. He gladly took it. He was almost tempted to pull her down to sit on him but since his last plan had an unexpected result he decided against it. She pulled him up to stand in front of her. Before she could order him to get back to work, Roy had taken the opportunity to close the distance between them and kiss her. He made sure to hold her tightly against his body. There was no way that he was going to let her get away with the hip contact from a few minutes ago. His tongue never faltered in her mouth. Before Riza knew it, Roy had moved her back onto the couch. Their mouths never broke apart when their bodies impacted the cushions. It only helped Roy to push deeper into Riza's mouth. After what seemed like hours, Roy finally released Riza's mouth for air. He remained on top of her, breathing heavily along with her as he felt her rapid heartbeat against his chest. He couldn't help but smile at the flushed face she had.

"Get…back…to…work, Colonel," she gasped out. That was by far the most passionate kiss they've shared so far. She knew by the heat in her cheeks that she far redder than usual. Now she had to look at Roy's face to see him smile a victory smile. He just had to be a good kisser. "Now…or…do I…have to…make you…sleep…with Havoc tonight? You know how…his hands like to…wander."

"Yes, ma'am," Roy said grudgingly. He gave her a quick kiss before finally getting off her. He helped her up as well. Riza stumbled a bit since she was lightheaded from the kiss. Of course, Roy came to her rescue and stabled her against his body, snaking his arms around her waist. She leaned against him while she steadied herself. "Besides you make a better bed buddy than him. I wouldn't mind if your hands wander."

"Work, now, Roy."

"I know, I know."

When Roy didn't let her go, she stomped on his foot to break free from him. She immediately grabbed his hand and dragged him to his chair. After practically shoving him down into his seat, she went over to her desk and gathered up a stack of paperwork for him. Then she promptly deposited it on his desk. She continued to go back and forth between their desks until all the stacks that were on Riza's desk were now on Roy's desk.

"Now if you don't finish all this paperwork by the end of the work day, you can sleep here, Maes's room with him and Armstrong, or outside my room in the hallway. Clear?"

"Crystal."

"Good, now I better get to my own paperwork."

Because of Roy's inability to do any work and need to have fun, he and Riza were at least two hours behind on their paperwork. Of course that wouldn't have affected Riza but in the case of Roy it was a different story. He needed some more motivation but it didn't come in the form that he wanted. Riza had finished her work within an hour before lunch so she was currently standing next to Roy with her gun pressed next to his temple. And Roy was working feverously at signing the papers in front of him. He had actually gotten through the second stack when Maes had decided to make an appearance.

"Hey, Roy!" Maes said from the doorway. "I see that Riza is holding you at gun point again. Slacking off again?"

"Not this time. She brought me too much paperwork. I'm human, not a machine."

"I just brought you what I thought you deserved."

"This is cruelty against your commanding officer."

"Not really," Maes commented. "This is normally the amount of paperwork other higher-ups do. You just happen to have some very dependable subordinates. Then of course you have Riza. She does most of your work anyways."

"I know. So what brings you back here?"

"Riza, do you mind leaving again?"

"I'll go get all of us some lunch," she replied holstering her gun. She walked through the main office where the others had already left for their lunch break until she reached the door to the hallway. But before leaving she made certain that the two of them knew what they should be doing along with the talking. "Hughes, make sure that the colonel doesn't slack off or I'm shooting you both in the kneecap."

"She's scary sometimes," Maes staring at the door where Riza once stood.

"At least you don't have to see her every single day."

"It can't be that bad. Beside she's the only woman you've been with for longer than a night. I think it's up to three nights now: one in your room, one in the infirmary, and one in her room. You know you never did tell me why she spent the night in your room but I have an idea. And you constantly talk about her. Admit it, you're in love with her."

"I'm admitting no such thing. She is just a friend and co-worker. And she spent the night in my room by accident. I needed to ask her something and she fell asleep on my bed. I slept on the floor. And before you go into why she was wearing one of my shirts, I lent her one after I spilt coffee on her pajamas."

"I guess that would explain that but you can't deny the romantic feelings you have for her."

"I don't have romantic feelings for Riza!"

"Right. Keep telling yourself that."

"What did you come by for? Here to bug me some more."

"You know me too well, but not compared to how much Riza knows you."

"Would you give it a rest? I am tired of you trying to get me and Riza together."

"But you two would make a great couple. And it's taking you too long to find a wife."

"I don't need one. I'm perfectly fine being a bachelor."

"But a wife means waking up to a warm body, someone to come home to, home cooked meals, morning kisses, and don't forget what you do at night."

"I can do _that_ with any woman."

"Don't be an ass, Roy."

"Well, it's the truth."

"Come on, settle down. Marry Riza."

"No, I will not. Even if there wasn't the fraternization law, I wouldn't marry her. Now enough of that subject. Is there anything else you want before I throw you out?"

"Well, this morning you said you wanted to see some new pictures of Elicia so…"

Before Roy could even protest, Maes had shoved a picture in his face. Roy almost went cross-eyed trying to look at the picture. He should have kept his mouth shut when he first entered the office. So he sat there signing and nodding his head as Maes continued to shove pictures in his face even though the crazed father wasn't even suppose to have them there. His entire focus was kept on his paperwork because he didn't want to have to sleep in the office. He'd rather be sleeping in a warm bed under the covers holding Riza.

"Isn't she so cute wearing that pink bath suit? And look at how she smiles at the camera. She's so adorable."

"Uh-huh, precious. Can't wait to have one just like her?" Roy regretted saying those words as soon as they came out and especially when he looked up at Maes. The man had a grin from ear to ear, which is never a good sign for Roy. The pink hearts surrounding them weren't helping the situation either. At the moment, Roy wanted to start banging his head against his desk again. "Maes, don't even go there."

"Go where, Roy?"

"You know where."

"Oh, you mean about you having kids with a certain blonde lieutenant. How you can't wait to have a daughter like mine with her?"

"Maes," Roy warned. "Drop it or be ready to fry."

"But didn't you forget your gloves in _Riza's room_?"

"I forgot I had a spare in my desk." Roy opened his top drawer in search of his glove but instead found a small letter. It was from Riza. It stated that she had taken his glove so that he wouldn't be tempted to actually kill Maes when he started talking about Roy's love life. It was a precaution. She knew how Roy could lose his temper whenever Maes was involved. "Damn."

"Not in there, is it?"

"Riza took them. She must have known that I was going to kill you whenever you were going stop by. Damn woman's intuition."

"I guess she saved me this time. I'll have to thank her. So onto more important issues. When's the wedding?"

"I'm not marrying her."

"Come on. Marry her. You know you want to."

"No."

"Why not, she's the love of your life?"

"She is not the love of my life."

"I know you love her. Don't deny it."

"Sure, I love her… as a friend but that's it."

"You love her more than that. I can tell by the way you look at her. How you always sneak glances at her when she's not looking. She's different from the other women you've dated. I see how you smile at her. It's not in its usual cocky way. Also your eyes light up when she returns the smile. And you blush like crazy when she touches your shoulder whenever she wakes you up after your lunch break or to get your attention. Then there's the fact that you only talk to her about certain things. I'm the only other person who has this type of privilege and that's usually about how we can get you to the top faster, your personal life, or my family. I don't know what you two talk about, yet. And then there's the jealousy in your eyes whenever she talks to another man. Admit it, you are in _love_ with First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye."

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Yes, you are!"

"No, I'm not."

Their little childish arguing was only stopped when they heard a little bark come from the door. They turned their attention to a little black and white pup that was staring at them with a cocked head. Hayate sat at the doorway with something resting under one of his paws. Roy instantly knew what they were. He was saved or at least that is what he thought. The ball of fluff with four legs trotted his way into the room with them in his mouth. Instead of going to Roy when he called for him, he went straight to Maes. Maes picked him up and placed him on his lap. He gently pulled out the stuff from Hayate's mouth. Quickly scanning over it, Maes figured out what they were.

"Your ignition gloves," Maes said hold them in front of Roy. He quickly put them in his pocket after Roy tried to swipe them away. Maes loved every minute of this. He could question Roy without fear of getting torched. Roy, on the other hand, was dreading things to come. Without his gloves, Maes could torture him for hours on end unless his girlfriend could make her appearance and threaten the two them to go back to work. What Roy wanted more than anything, at the moment, was to have a gun to his head and his friend out of the room running in fear that Riza would shoot him. He actually wanted to get back to work. "I wonder how Hayate got them away from your wife."

"She is not my wife!"

"She will be. Everyone knows that you love her and if it wasn't for the fraternization law you'd already be married."

"What is it with everyone? I DO NOT love her like that."

"Quit kidding yourself. Even Hayate knows that you love her in that way. Why do you think he's so protective of her whenever you're around?"

"Hayate is just a puppy. He doesn't know what goes on in the world."

"I have to disagree with you on that. Hayate is a very smart puppy. Riza has trained him well. And he knows what goes on, he can sense it."

"Yeah, right."

"I'll prove it," Maes replied putting Hayate on the ground. Roy stood and looked over his desk at Hayate. The pup was sitting on the floor, thumping his tail against it. "Hayate, who is your mommy?"

Hayate turned around and looked at his mommy's desk for her but she wasn't there so he did the next best thing. He walked over to Riza's desk and put a paw on it, giving a happy bark to Maes and Roy. Maes smirked at Roy because Hayate proved him right. Then Hayate started sniffing the ground. He made his way over to Roy's desk. Maes got out of his chair to see what the pup was doing. The two men watching him carefully since they had no clue what was going on. Hayate clamped his little teeth on the bottom drawer handle and pulled with all his might. When he opened it enough to let his little body in it, he crawled over the wood and into the drawer. He crawled through all the junk until he found what he was looking for. Roy watched as Hayate popped his head out with something in its mouth. It wasn't until after the pup had crawled out the drawer that Roy figured out what it was.

"Hayate, not that!" Roy shouted as his hand swooped down to catch him but Hayate was too fast for him and escaped his grasp. He made his way around the desk and back to Maes. Roy followed close behind him still trying to catch him. "Give that back!"

Maes had managed to pick up Hayate before Roy got to him. He gave the pup a small pat on the head before he took the thing out of his mouth. Roy was doomed when Maes looked at the thing. He could see the man's smile get as big as it could.

"Yes, Hayate, this is your mommy," Maes said holding the picture in front of Hayate. The pup gave a little bark before rubbing up to the picture. After that Maes turned his attention to Roy who was trying to act dumb about the picture. Maes handed him the picture, which he slipped into his jacket's pocket. "So Roy, why do you have a picture of Riza in your drawer?"

"I can have pictures of my friends, can't I?"

"Yes, but you had this one hidden in your drawer."

"I wasn't hiding it. I just didn't have anything to put it in."

"So you were planning on showing off a picture of your wife."

"Maes, she is not my wife. Would you quit saying that?"

"Oh, but she's the perfect wife for you. Isn't that right, Hayate?"

"Shut up," Roy shouted as Hayate barked in agreement. "Don't ask Hayate that."

"But why not? He wants you to be happy, too."

"He doesn't know what he wants."

"Yes, he does. Hayate, who is your daddy?"

Hayate immediately turned his head to look at Roy. The two stared at each other as Maes watched the two._ 'Why did he have to look at me? Does he really see me as his daddy? I guess that is expected. I am with Riza constantly and Hayate is always with her. He is fond of me whenever I don't threaten him. I mean he always sits next to my desk and I do play with him. Damn, Maes was right. The pup had to be smart.' _Maes finally coughed to break the two out of their staring contest. The two of them turned their attention back to the smiling fool.

"That doesn't prove anything, Maes. You and me are the only people here. He didn't really have a choice who to look at."

"Oh, but he immediately turned to look at you. Why won't you just admit that you are madly in love with Riza?"

"Because I'm not."

"Liar. Admit it.'

"No."

"Admit it."

"Fine. I'M MADLY IN LOVE WITH RIZA! Happy!"

"Yes. So…marry her. Marry her! MARRY HER!"

"Maes, would you give it a break. I haven't even gone out on a date with her. And I don't know how she feels about me. I know she cares about me but to what extent."

"So go on a date, find out, and then marry her."

"I can't go on a date with her. She'd never go for it. She'd think it's inappropriate to go out with her superior officer. You know how she's a stickler for regulations. Besides all my clothes are still wet from the broken pipes."

"Well, don't make it sound like a date. Just ask her to dinner…as a thank you for letting you stay in her room last night. As for your clothes, the military had yours, Havoc's, Armstrong's, and everyone else's uniforms and other clothing sent to the dry cleaners for cleaning. They should be done by the end of the work day."

" Okay. I guess I could try that. Umm…Maes?"

"Yes?"

"Can you for once keep all of this to yourself? I don't want anyone else to find out especially not the higher ups. They'd try to separate us."

"Of course, this will stay between you, me, and Hayate. Now go get your wife."

"Maes…"

"Okay. I won't call her your wife anymore, at least not until you're actually married to her."

"Ugh, you never give up," Roy said as he pushed Maes out his office door. Maes resisted somewhat because he wanted to annoy Roy some more about finally admitting that he loved Riza. "Now get out before Riza comes back to find that I haven't done much of my work. You wouldn't want a bullet in the leg now would you?"

"Alright, alright, I'm going. Just don't forget to ask her out."

"I know. I'll do it later."

Maes handed Hayate over to Roy before running out of the room. It was a natural thing to happen whenever Maes came to visit Roy. People would have thought it strange that he wasn't running for his life. Roy went back to his desk with Hayate in his arms. He placed the pup in his lap after he sat down. Then he began to work on signing the remainder of the papers left. Hayate sat there patiently, wagging his tail against Roy's stomach. Ten minutes later, Riza returned with a tray of food for Roy and a bowl for Hayate.

"Hughes gave me these to return to you," Riza said placing the tray in front of him along with the gloves that Maes had. She picked up Hayate from Roy's lap and placed him on the ground with his food bowl. He started gobbling it down as Riza moved some of the paperwork around so that she could put Roy's tray in front of him. Roy began to eat his lunch. "So how did everything go?"

"It was hell. He kept saying for me to marry you, and he finally got me to admit that I love you."

"I guess it was a good thing I kept my grandfather busy. He was on his way to talk to you. I don't think you would have survived with him here as well."

"Thanks. I would have been tempted to jump out the window. Well everything is going fine. We just have to go on a date now."

"What?" Riza was blushing. She was going to go on a date with Roy. It was always something that she wanted to do but the stupid fraternization law had kept that wish at bay. Her eyes were plastered to the floor. Roy kept his head tilted down. He was trying to hide his blush as well. Like Riza, he always wanted to go out on a nice, romantic date with her. Now it was coming true but they would have to be careful about it. "But we can't. It's too dangerous to."

"We'll just have dinner at a nice restaurant. Nothing fancy just a simple, friendly dinner together. Maes will know something is up if we don't. He's follow us, you know he will."

"I'll inform everyone and make the necessary adjustments to the plan."

"Alright, I'll finish everything up on this end."

Later that day, Maes returned to the office to see if Roy had finally asked Riza out on that date. He didn't expect to hear gunshots throughout the room. Upon entering the main office, Maes saw Havoc and the others cowering at their desks. _'What has Roy done this time? Is it that hard for him to ask her out? He should have had enough practice from asking all those other women out. Then again this is Riza we're talking about.'_ Maes walked over to the door and placed his hand on the doorknob. Before he could turn it, Havoc jumped in front of him and pressed his body against the door, shaking his head no.

"You don't want to go in there," Havoc said. The others soon joined him as they surrounded Maes. "It's not a pretty sight."

"What's going on in there?" Maes asked a bit concerned. He was thinking that Riza was actually attempting to shot Roy in the kneecap like she said she would if Roy wasn't doing his paperwork earlier. "What's Roy done?"

"Nothing really. He's just being a baby."

"He won't let Lieutenant Hawkeye change his bandage," Falman said. "He was yelling that she was too rough the last time."

"He was injured?" Maes inquired. "When?"

"He got it this morning from banging his head against his desk," Breda answered. "You were there. Besides it's only a small cut on his head."

"Oh, I guess his hair covered it. I didn't see anything wrong with him."

"Now it needs to be changed and he won't let Hawkeye do it. She chasing him around the office right now."

"What's with the gunshots?"

"She said that if he wasn't going to let her help him with that wound," Fuery began as he stood with Havoc to block Maes's entry. "Then she would put another wound on him and fix that one up."

They all moved away from the door. Riza was a bit too scary for them at the moment. So they spent most of the time getting tortured by Maes. He was shoving pictures of Elicia in their faces again. Although he loved showing pictures of his daughter to them, he really wanted to tell them about Roy's confession but he promised not to tell anyone. This was one promise he was going to keep. Well, he did have to tell one person. The man was trying to get the two together as well. But other than him, he wasn't going to tell anyone. It would break Roy's heart if the higher ups found out and separated him from her. No, he wasn't going to tell anyone else. It was too dangerous, for Roy and Riza but mainly for Maes. The two of them would kill him if anything should happen. Havoc and the others were saved from their torture by a sudden crash from Roy and Riza's office. All of them quickly made their way to the door. They stuck their ears against the door listening for any type of noise. Nothing. Silence. Maes decided to tempt fate and cracked the door open. Him and the others lined up along the crack to see what happened. Their eyes widened at the sight of Riza straddling Roy on the ground.

"Colonel, would you quit being a baby and let me change your bandage," Riza said from on top of Roy. She kicked his legs out from under him to stop him from running. They were next to the couch. She was hunched over trying to pry his hands from his head so that she could remove the "band-aid" on the forehead. Hayate was sitting at one end of the couch with the first-aid kit. "I'll be gentle."

"That's what you said last time," Roy whined.

"Well, you wouldn't hold still. Now are you going to remove your hands or do I have to reload my gun?"

"I'd rather take the bullet than have you touch my cut."

"I guess we'll have to do this the hard way. Buraha."

Hayate ran to the middle of the couch where Riza was position. He sat near her head. Riza gave him a small pat before starting her task. She unbuttoned Roy's jacket, which caused him to widen his eyes at her. The others' eyes were bulging out at the door. Riza then pulled out his dress shirt from his pants and started unbuttoning it. She stopped when enough of his stomach was showing.

"What you doing lieutenant!"

"Are you going to let me change your bandage or are we going to do this the hard way?"

"Umm...hard way."

"Alright, you asked for it. Buraha, Tickle Attack!"

Hayate jumped off of the couch and landed on Roy's stomach. His tongue began to assault Roy's stomach area, paying special attention to his bellybutton. Roy started squirming under Hayate's rough tongue. He could hold it back anymore and started laughing. The padding of Hayate's paw and his nails were sending a prickling feeling throughout his body. His tail swishing back and forth on his skin was too much for him to handle. Finally Roy couldn't take it.

"Hayate, that's enough," Roy said laughing as he released his hands from his head to grab for Hayate. Riza took this opportunity to lean forward and pull the bandage from Roy's head. "Owww. That hurt."

"Well, you wanted to do this the hard way. Okay, Buraha, you can stop now." Hayate gave one final lick before sitting patiently on Roy's stomach for his next command. His tail continued glide across Roy's stomach. It was still tickling him a bit but he managed stifle his laughter. Riza picked up Hayate and placed him back on the couch. "Hayate, go get the first-aid kit." Hayate ran to the box at the end of couch. He dragged it back in his mouth. It was put down near Riza's head. Hayate sat next to it. He was rewarded with a scratch behind the ear. Riza took the kit and placed it next to her leg. She opened it and took out the necessary items. Again she wetted a cotton ball with alcohol. A person can't be too careful when it comes to an infection. She was going to clean it again, and Roy braced himself. A quick swipe and Roy was whining again. Riza held his head still as she blew on the cut. Maes and the others could see Roy blushing from the sudden closeness to Riza's face. After Riza put the band-aid on Roy's head, she sat back against Roy's body. "See, it wasn't that bad."

"Speak for yourself," Roy said sitting up.

He blush a deeper shade of red when he noticed how close he was to Riza. It went even darker when Riza placed a hand on his forehead. She gave the cut a gentle rub to make sure the band-aid was going to stay on. After that she made the move to get off him but was quickly stopped when Roy grabbed her waist and planted her back in place. _'He going to do it. He's going to ask her out.'_ Maes thought. He was trying to keep from being overexcited and alerting Roy and Riza to his and the others' presence. It was a really bad thing for the person below Maes, which in this case was Breda, because Maes was basically piggybacking on him and pulling at his hair.

"Sir?"

"Hawkeye, there's something I wanted to ask you."

"What, sir?"

"I was…umm…wondering if you would have dinner with me."

"Sir, you know that dating is strictly prohibited among the ranks."

"I'm not talking about a date, just dinner…for letting me sleep in your room while mine is being fixed."

"I don't know."

"I'll invite the others if it will make you comfortable."

"What!" Maes whispered. "It's supposed to be a date not a group outing."

"Don't worry," Havoc said from above Maes. "He already talked to us about this. Everyone's going to decline but Fuery."

"I'm going to bail at the last second," Fuery added from below everyone.

"Oh, so you know about the date already?"

"Yeah," Falman said from the top of the pile. "He came to us for help. The only thing he needed to worry about at this point was how to ask her. We did everything else for him."

"Hey, she's about to answer," Havoc said.

Everyone glued their eyes back to Roy and Riza. They were still sitting in the same position. Riza sat there thinking about what she should do. She held her in chin in deep concentration. She would move every once and awhile to get comfortable while she thought. Roy sat under Riza, staring at her. His hands were on her hips. After a few minute of looking around the room for an answer, Riza's eyes landed on the clock they had in the office. She finally came to her decision.

"We only have twenty minutes of work left. If you finish the rest of your paperwork in that time frame then I'll have dinner with you…and the others if they can make it."

"Deal."

"Umm…can you let me go now? I'm a bit uncomfortable in this position."

"Oh, of course." Roy finally let go of Riza and she stood up. She held her hand out to help Roy stand up. He graciously took it and was pulled up to stand next to her. She buttoned up his shirt and tucked it into his pants for him. Then she buttoned up his jacket for him. It didn't seem to affect her that she was doing this to her superior officer. Afterwards she picked the first-aid kit off the ground and put Hayate on the ground. Roy made his way back to his desk while Riza made it to hers. He sat down and immediately started signing the papers. "I'll come by at seven."

"Alright."

Maes quietly closed the door when the two started back to their normal routine. Havoc and the others were behind him stretching. Because they were piled one on top of the other there was a bit of discomfort. Havoc and Falman didn't have to do much stretching since they were at the top. It pays to be tall. Breda was arching his back because Maes had decided to ride piggyback on him. Fuery was at the bottom of the group. He was curled up into a little ball. He had to do more stretching that the others. Maes turned around to face the others. He was deep in concentration. _'Ah, their first date. This is something that should be documented. I know. I'll follow them and take some pictures. Hmm…it'll suspicious if I go alone but who should I take.'_ Maes scanned the room that was filled with his dear friends. One of these men of would be his date tonight. Havoc and the others quickly caught a glimpse of the mischievous look in Maes's eyes. They all bolted for the door but came crashing into a wall. From the ground, they looked up to see Armstrong standing above them. Before anyone of them could react, Maes came up behind them, grabbed his target by the collar, and dragged him out of the room with a smile on his face. His target looked back at the others with fear in his eyes. He was kicking and screaming, pleading for help. The others sat there staring at their unfortunate friend as he disappeared out the door.

"What was that about?" Armstrong asked confused.

"We'll fill you in on it later," Havoc replied. "My prayers go out to him."

A few minutes later, the door to Roy's office opened to reveal Riza. Hayate was at her side and Roy could be seen in the background do his work. Riza looked over the men to see that they were relatively okay. They got off the ground and lined up in front of her ready to report what had happened. Armstrong stood behind them a bit confused at what was going on.

"So what poor soul did Maes kidnap?" Roy called from his desk.

* * *

(Banging head on wall) That was a freakin' long chapter. Over 12000 words. It's longer than some stories I've read. I've stopped banging my head now. It's practically empty now. My hand is cramped and sore. Maybe I can get my brother to type the next chapter. Then again, I type faster with my one hand that he does with both of his. I'll figure something out. I'll update when I can. See ya. 


	12. Chapter 12

Last chapter was long, wasn't it? I probably should have broken it up into two chapters but I didn't know where to break it. Eh, too late for it now. And you can probably guess, I didn't proofread it. Could you blame me? Look at the chapter.Well, my arms getting better, itchy as hell but mending. It's too bad that I can't reply to you reponses here since I had some really good things to say. Well I can say that Hayate would never hurt. I spoil him too much. Let's see, there are two original characters in this chapter, well sort of original. I'll explain at the end. Sorry but not a royai chapter. Now on with the story.

* * *

Maes carefully stuck his head out the door. He was in a dangerous place at the moment. If anyone caught him at this moment only God himself would know what was going to happen. Of course, he knew what would happen if Riza caught him. She would pin him to the wall with her daggers and use her gun along with her mental abilities to torture and most likely traumatize him. Lucky for him that she was still in the office with Roy. Seeing that the hall was clear, he cautiously walked out the women's locker room with his arms full of make-up and other cosmetics. After giving another quick look for any female officers and not finding one, he made a mad dash for his room. The entire time he was running down the hall, he kept coming up with ways that the female officers could hurt him if they found out that he had stolen their stuff. To him they were docile creatures even when he shoved the same picture of Elicia in their faces a million times but there was still that lingering feeling at the back of his head. '_I wander what will happen when they find out that I took some of their make-up. Will they be like Riza and pull out their guns? Wait, Riza's the only one that actually carries a gun at all times so I'm safe from bullets. Maybe they'll opt to throw me out a window. Riza's done that once or was it twice. All I remember is landing on my head. Or they could just do what I'm about to do to my "date". Maybe I just shouldn't get caught.'_ He was only brought out of his thought when he reached his door. After giving another quick look for spies, he slowly turned the doorknob. Entering his room, he could see that his "date" was still in the chair that he had tied him to staring back at him with pleading eyes. Closing the door and locking it, he went to his bed and laid his stolen goods down. He turned around to face his dear male, soon to be female, friend. 

"If I take off the tape do you promise not to scream like you did last time?" Maes said walking closer to the chair. He bent down to be eye to eye with him. The man before him slowly nodded his head. After a quick thought on how to remove the tape, Maes opted to slowly remove it so that he wouldn't cause him any more pain than what he would have to later endure. Once the tape was removed, his "date" let out a sigh of relief before locking his eyes with Maes. "Don't forget, you promised not to scream. Besides it's not like anyone's going to hear you. Most of the military personnel have already left the office and went out since the dorm still hasn't been fixed. They shouldn't return for a couple of hours. Plenty of time for me to carry out my plan."

"But why did you have to pick me? Couldn't you have grabbed one of the others?"

"You were my best choice. Seriously, you're the only one that would make a decent woman."

"Couldn't you have grabbed Havoc?"

"Come now. Can't you figure out why you're the perfect male specimen to be made a woman? If Edward was there then it would have been a whole different story but since he wasn't, I chose you."

"I can't believe it had to be me."

"Well, Armstrong was obviously not a choice. That man could never pass as my date. I'd hate to see what his sisters look like especially since he told me that they look like him."

"Yeah, I could figure that you weren't going to pull Major Armstrong into your plan. Just thinking about Armstrong in a dress and his sisters sends a chill down my back. I'm going to have nightmares now."

"Same here."

"But why couldn't you pick someone else? Why not actually use a woman?"

"Hmm…I never thought about using a woman. Eh, it's too late now. We've only two hours until Roy and Riza go out on their date. Seriously, you don't know why I picked you?"

"No."

"Well, I couldn't use Havoc because he's about the same height as me. He'd be taller than me whenever he wore the high heels. The same goes for Falman. He's a few inches taller than me."

"Oh. Wait, high heels? You're going to make me wear high heels?"

"Of course, no woman wouldn't wear high heels out on a date to a romantic restaurant, no matter how much their feet are going to hurt afterwards."

"Lieutenant Hawkeye wouldn't."

"She doesn't count. When it comes to women, she's in a whole different category. She probably thinks that whoever came up with them should be shot."

"I guess so. As for the high heels, I'm still not sure."

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it. The thing that's worrying me is how I should do your make-up."

"I have to wear that too?"

"Yes because a woman wouldn't be a woman if they didn't have their make-up on and don't even think about mentioning something along the line of Riza not wearing any. Like I said earlier, she's in a whole different category."

"I guess I can deal with it. It'll come off with water. Right?"

"Oh, of course. I've had to remove make-up myself whenever I play beauty parlor with Elicia. So how 'bout we get this over with."

After a hesitant nod from the captive, Maes set on his task of making a woman out of his friend. He grabbed some random pieces of foundation and held it up to the man's face to compare the color. Having no clue what to actual use, he just started padding the foundation all over the face. Then he grabbed some blush and added some color to the cheeks. Next up was the eye shadow. Maes decided on a green color because it looked so much like the color of Elicia's eyes. Mascara was added to his eyelashes. After that, he applied a bright red colored lipstick. Once the entire basis had been covered, Maes sat on his bed and looked at his work. At the moment all he wanted to do was burst out laughing.

"So how is it?"

"It's fine," Maes said trying his best to stifle his laughter.

"Give me a mirror," the victim said glaring at Maes. It was bad enough that he had unwillingly agreed to do this but now Maes looked like he was about to burst out laughing. He could see the tears forming in Maes's eyes from the laughter he was trying to hold back. '_God, why couldn't he just take Havoc hostage?'_ If he weren't tied up at the moment, he'd be running as fast as he could to Central. Finally Maes couldn't hold it back any longer and started rolling around on his bed, laughing as loud as he could. After about ten minutes, Maes finally calmed down enough to turn the chair around so that it faced the mirror on his dresser. "I look like a clown! Geez, what did you use to put on the lipstick, a paint roller?"

"Well, I don't know how to put on make-up. I'm a guy after all."

"So am I."

"I guess we're going to need a woman's touch with this." Maes walked out the room, after replacing the tape, in search of some female help. His best bet was the women's dormitory. As soon as he walked in nearly every female sprinted for the other exit, not caring about what they looked like at the moment. None of them wanted to get caught in his rant about his darling little girl and his wonderful wife. It wasn't enough for him to cover every single wall in the dorm with their pictures but he also had to shove the pictures in their faces over a million times. No person in their right mind was going to willingly sit for hours on end just to look at the same picture and listen to his stories. In the frenzy of trying to escape from Maes, two soldiers tripped and were now at the mercy of an insane father. Their fellow soldiers and friends weren't going to come back for them so they braced for what was to come. "Ah, just what I was looking for. How 'bout we go for a walk ladies?"

"Yes, sir," they both said standing up and saluting him.

"Great! Along the way I'll show you some new pictures I took of Elicia." Maes grabbed them both by the arm and started dragging them down the hall. Both women groaned at the prospect of having to see more of these pictures. The girl was lovely but there is only so much that a person can take. Maes had linked his arms with theirs while in one hand he held pictures of Elicia like one would if they were playing a card game. His other hand was used to point at them as he told the story behind each picture. "By the way, what are your names?"

"I'm Sergeant Rhia Alice," the woman on his left answered. She was a short brunette that looked to be a few inches taller than Ed. Her hair was cut a few inches above her shoulders. She had dark blue eyes.

"And I'm 2nd Lieutenant Beka Aerin, sir," the other woman answered. She was about the same height as the sergeant but had black wavy hair as opposed to the straight brown hair. Her eyes were an emerald green color. "Umm…sir? How much longer to you want us to walk with you?"

"Just a little while longer," Maes said as he made sure that the woman weren't going break away from his grasp when he told them what was going to happen. "I've actually got a little mission for the two of you."

"What, sir?" Rhia hesitantly asked.

"You'll see when we get there."

"Where?" Beka joined in.

"Well…my room." Maes immediately grabbed the backs of their jackets when they turned around in an attempt to get away. He ended up dragging them the rest of the way to his room. The entire way Maes had a smile on his face, and they looked like they were about to get punished for something. "Now, now. You're only going to help me with something special. I'm only going to need the two of you. There's no need for you to get more help for this job."

Once they reached his room, he allowed them to stand up as well as released his grip on them. They dusted off their uniforms and stood behind Maes. There was no point in running away now. They were already at his room. Also they knew they wouldn't get far with the type of reflexes that man had. It was somewhat inhuman. Maes unlocked his door and stepped to the side to let the women in first. With the door open enough, they could see someone tied to a chair. Their eyes widened when they recognized who it was.

"Fuery!" they shouted as they ran into the room.

Maes followed behind them. After he locked the door, he leaned against it. He was watching as they looked over Fuery with worried eyes. Beka scanned over his body looking for bruises or any other signs of injuries while Rhia took the tape off his mouth. Fuery took in some deep breaths after his mouth was released. When they were content that Fuery was okay, they turned their eyes to Maes, intent on finding out what was going on. Maes could feel his skin crawl after seeing the look they had in their eyes.

"What is the meaning of this, Lieutenant Colonel?" Rhia shouted when the two of them were right in Maes's face. He was pushed up against the door. The look was almost as bad as what Riza had when she found out that Maes told her grandfather and Armstrong about her supposed love child with Roy. It just didn't have that "I'm going to kill you" aspect. The thoughts from earlier were beginning to flood his mind once again. "Why is Fuery tied to a chair wearing make-up?"

"I needed him to look like a woman. Tying him up was to make sure that he wasn't going to run away."

"And why do you need him to look like a woman?" Beka eyed him.

"I need him to be my date tonight," he answered. He was rewarded with two shocked woman who were suddenly backing away from him towards Fuery. "It's not like that. It's for an undercover mission that I sort of have. You see, Roy finally asked Riza out on a date…well dinner but the technical term isn't important. What's important is that he finally found the nerve to ask her out and this occasion desperately needs to be documented. Fuery was going to be my date so that no suspicions was brought to me when I spy on them and take pictures."

It wasn't exactly the reaction he had expected from them. He had expected them to put him down for wanting to spy on the date and take pictures. A scolding was what he braced himself for. A beating was anticipated as well but he never thought that they would do that. He expected them say that Roy and Riza weren't really going on a date because of the fraternization rule and that Maes was lying. Fate seemed to be on his side as he watched the two giddy women jump for joy and hug each other. Then they hugged Fuery and afterwards Maes.

"They're really going on a date?" Rhia asked as she continued to hug Maes. "It's not a lie?"

"It's as truthful as how much I love my daughter. Those two are going to have dinner tonight."

"It's about time," Beka commented. "Everyone in the women's dorm was wondering how long it would take for those two to hook up."

"But what about the fraternization rule?" Rhia cautiously asked. "They'll get fired if they're caught."

"Don't worry about that. I'm working on it."

"That great! Now all they have to do is get married."

"But first let's get ready for their date."

"Right," both women said.

The three of them turned to look at Fuery who was quiet the entire time. He just sat there and stared at them. He knew what was going to happen to him. They knew what going to happen. There was no way Fuery could run away. For a night, he was going to be a woman. He just hoped there wasn't going to be any pain involved. And that no one would know about this incident besides a select few individuals.

"Sir, I take it you tried to apply make-up on him yourself," Rhia said looking up at Maes. "Is that what you need us for? To help make him a woman?"

"Right. This isn't really my department."

"Is that my make-up?" Beka asked when she caught sight of Maes's bed. She walked over and started picking up random pieces. Maes tried to play innocent when she turned around glaring at him. "You're the one that raided the women's locker room."

"Umm…yes," he replied scratching the back of his head. He looked down and started shuffling his feet. "I needed to borrow them for Fuery's disguise."

"Couldn't you have stolen the good ones? None of these are right for Fuery's complexion." She picked up all that Maes had stolen and walked over to him. He graciously took them after she shove them in his arms. "Rhia and I will go get the proper make-up for Fuery. You return these to where they should be."

The three of them left Fuery alone in Maes's room while they went to collect the necessary items or return some. Rhia and Beka had arrived back to the room before Maes did and was currently wiping off the make-up Maes had applied.

"Are you alright, Fuery?" Rhia asked as she wiped off one side of his face with a wet piece of cloth. Beka was washing off the other side. Fuery was glad they were there, sort of. He was still tied to the chair. "The Lieutenant Colonel didn't to anything to traumatize you too much, did he?"

"I'm fine," Fuery replied. "I've gotten used to being dragged into these types of situations."

"So you're okay with all of this?"

"It's for a good cause so I guess so."

"Fuery, you're such a good man."

"Do you think you could possibly untie me?"

"Don't even think about it," Maes said when he magically appeared in the room. His face was covered in make-up while a small part of his uniform was torn. He was slightly limping when he walked further into the room after locking the door. "I wouldn't want him to run away before we get through with the sex change."

"What happened to you, sir?" Fuery asked after looking up and down his superior's appearance.

"Oh, I got caught when I was putting the make-up back. They held me down while they applied the make-up. Vicious women. When they were done, they let me go…right out the window. Out of shear luck, I landed on Havoc. He was looking for something in the bushes. After that I made my way back here."

"I guess we should have warned you to be careful," Rhia said. She took hers and Beka's washcloths into the bathroom after cleaning Maes's face. After a few seconds, she returned to the main room with a clean one. She wiped Fuery's face dry before turning back to face Maes. "You should never mess with a woman's things. I'd thought you know that since you're married."

"Well, Glacier's very understanding, and Elicia is usually the one that plays with those things. I'm basically an oversized test doll for her. So did you bring everything that we will need for the date?"

"We both brought make-up and some other things," Beka answered. "But I think we might have a problem when it comes to the outfits."

"What's wrong?"

"Well, all my dresses are above the knee. Rhia's are the same. We might have to…shave Fuery's legs."

"What?" Fuery shouted. "Shave my legs! That's going too far."

"Come now, Fuery," Maes said trying to calm him down. "It'll grow back in a couple of weeks. Besides no one will know about it since we wear pants year round to work."

"Please Fuery," Rhia and Beka begged. "You said it earlier that this was for a good cause."

"God, I could never turn anyone down." Fuery sighed in defeat. He was going to have shaved legs. Havoc and the others better not pick on him for doing this. "Fine, go ahead."

"Great! Rhia get your razor while I remove his pants."

"I didn't bring one. I figured you would have brought one."

"No. I don't actually use a razor."

"Umm…neither do I."

"What are you two talking about?" Maes questioned them. "What do you mean that you two don't use a razor?"

"Well, I don't actually shave me legs and I don't think Beka does either. I wax them."

"Wax them?" Fuery gulped. "Isn't that supposed to be painful?"

"Only for a few seconds. After that, there's just a slight tingling feeling."

"Umm…can I back out of this now, Lieutenant Colonel?" Fuery pleaded with puppy dog eyes.

"I'd be surprised if you didn't ask but no you can't. Did either of you bring the stuff to wax his legs?"

"I did," Rhia piped in. She went to her pile of assorted clutter while Beka began to undress Fuery. Beka slipped off his boots and set them next to the dresser. Then she unbuttoned his trousers and slid those off. Fuery could be seen with a bright red face as Beka was at her self-proclaimed task of ridding him of his clothes. Maes made his seating place right in front of the door sensing that he wouldn't be needed for anything. He found this scene somewhat entertaining. By the time Beka had gotten Fuery pant completely off of him, Rhia had returned with a container and some strips of cloth. "Here it is. Awww, isn't that cute? Puppy boxers!"

"I know," Beka exclaimed. Fuery had blushed an even deeper shade of red, if that was even possible. He could see it now. Beka and Rhia telling all the female personnel about his puppy boxers. "They're so adorable."

"Can we get this over with?" Fuery asked somewhat scared and annoyed.

"Alright," Rhia answered as she sat on the floor with Beka. Both of them took off their jackets and threw them on the bed. This was going to be a tough job. The strips were divided among the women and they set about their task. Each applied a thin layer of gel on a part of Fuery's legs. There was a single line running down each of his legs. Next they placed a strip on it, rubbing it roughly to make sure that it would adhere to the hairs. Fuery braced himself for the pain. Both hesitated when they were about to pull the strips off his leg. It was finally Rhia that moved. The next thing Fuery knew his mouth was cover with duct tape. "Umm…this is to muffle your screams."

Then it happened, both women ripped the strip as fast as they could off of Fuery's legs. It was good thing that Fuery's mouth was covered or the people of Xing could hear his scream. Tears started streaming down his face as he tried to refrain from kicking his legs around. Rhia and Beka back away to avoid the legs and found themselves sitting against the door. Remembering that Maes had occupied their current position a few seconds ago, they looked around for the other male. They found his cowering in a corner of the room. Beka crawled towards him to make sure that he was okay.

"Sir, are you alright?" Beka laid a gentle hand on his shoulder. It flinched under her touch. Maes, at the moment, was terrified. He had seen so much pain during his lifetime but, at this particular point in time, they seems so irrelevant to the pain that Fuery was enduring. "Sir?"

"H-How c-can you w-women inflict that m-much pain on y-yourselves?" Maes choked out.

"It's not as painful as childbirth, sir. It only hurts for a few seconds. Look, Fuery's not in pain right now."

Maes looked at Fuery who was being comforted by Rhia. His cheeks were strained with tears and he was slightly whimpering but it didn't look like he was suffering anymore. His legs weren't moving frantically around like they were earlier.

"Are you alright, Fuery?" Rhia asked as she let him rest his head against her shoulder while she held him. He nodded to answer her question and soon after lifted his head. She removed the tape from his mouth. He offered his thanks as she sat back on her legs. After sniffling a bit, he turned his attention over to the corner where Maes and Beka were situated. He offered Maes a smile to confirm that he was alright. His attention was only brought back to his legs when he felt a small breeze caress one of them. He turned his head to find Rhia blowing on it. When she was done, she looked up into Fuery's eyes. "Does that feel better?" He nodded his head. "Do you still want us to continued?"

Fuery thought about it for a moment before nodding his head yes. Beka moved away from Maes and went back to her position in front of Fuery. A new strip of duct tape was placed on Fuery's mouth and his legs were tied to the chair to keep from accidentally kicking one of them. The two female officers went back to their task of ridding Fuery's legs of hair. Maes stayed in his little corner being a wimp, cringing with every pull and muffled scream, while Fuery continued to endure the pain. With each pull of the strips the pain got less and less until it didn't really hurt. After a few more pulls, Fuery's legs were as smooth as silk. Beka removed the tape while Rhia applied lotion to his legs. Fuery was glad that that part of the makeover was done. He sighed when it felt Rhia rubbing the lotion on his legs. It stung for a second but after that his legs felt like they were in paradise. Unexpectedly, Beka untied him. He gently rubbed his arms as he continued to sit in the chair. No point in bolting now. As he sat there, he ran his hand over his leg. It was a weird feeling not having hair there. He was only brought back to his current situation when he felt eyes on him. Looking up, he saw Beka and Rhia smiling at him with a gleam in their eyes.

"Let's see how he looks in a dress," they exclaimed.

Beka went to the pile of clothes on Maes's bed while Rhia tended to Fuery. She pulled him up to stand. Then she stripped him of his jacket and shirt. Fuery felt a bit awkward standing in the middle of Maes's room in front of two female officers clad in nothing but his puppy boxers. He wrapped his arms around his body to keep from shivering due to his lack of clothes. Beka had returned with an armful of dress. She shoved them into Maes's arms, who had joined them after finishing his little episode. Beka pulled a pink shimmering dress from Maes's arms and slipped it onto Fuery. The three of them looked him up and down.

"I must say, you have a nice set of legs, Fuery," Maes commented.

"Don't forget you're a guy," Fuery coughed. "And married."

"Right," Maes coughed. "My apologies."

They all agreed that pink wasn't Fuery's color so they slipped that dress off of him. It was then that Beka noticed something. She wandered why it had taken her so long to see it. It stuck out like a sore thumb.

"Umm…Fuery, we're going to need to…wax…your umm…armpits, too."

"Won't the dress sleeves cover it?"

"They're all sleeveless dresses."

"Alright," Fuery replied as he raised his arms above his head. The two women went about their business with Fuery's armpits. When they ripped the hair from him, Fuery scrunched his face up when the pain hit him although he did manage to hold back his scream. He was a brave man unlike Maes who was in his little corner holding his armpits protectively, muttering about the strange creatures he knew as women. "That wasn't too bad. I must be getting use to it."

The three of them went back to picking out Fuery's outfit. They left Maes to cower in the corner to deal with his sudden need to be thankful that he wasn't a woman. After a few choices and experimentations, the three of them settled on a light red loose fitting dress that was about two inches above the knee. Fuery stood in front of the mirror staring at what he had become and thinking about what he was going to say to his therapist in a couple of years. He was brought back to reality when he felt something surround his head. He looked in the mirror to find that he had black straight shoulder length hair. The bangs were pushed to the right. Beka fixed the wig so that it wouldn't fall of his head while Rhia had clasped on a necklace and then some bracelets. All in all, Fuery didn't look too bad.

"Something doesn't seem right," Rhia commented as she was looking Fuery over. "Something is missing."

"I know what you mean," Beka agreed. "He just doesn't look like a woman yet."

"Umm…" Fuery blushed. "Could it be because I don't have…breasts like you two?"

Both Beka's and Rhia's stance faltered. How could they miss the obvious? Beka had noticed the arm hair but she didn't noticed the one thing that would make a woman stick out in a crowd of men. Breasts, every single woman had them and neither had thought to give Fuery any. The two of them managed to regain their composure.

"Did you bring a bra?" Beka asked.

"No, did you?" Rhia said.

"Nope."

"So what are we going to do? I don't think we have enough time for us to run back to the dorm since we still need to do his make-up and teach him how to act like a woman."

The two of them thought about it for a while. They started to look around the room for anything they could use to create a makeshift bra. You would think that a guy's room would have something useful but no they were useless creatures right now since one of them was still cowering in the corner. They continued to look around until their eyes landed on each other or at least a particular part of their body. They had a knowing look in their eyes when they faced each other.

"Yours or mine?" Beka questioned.

"He can have mine." Rhia replied. "I was going to take a shower after this anyways."

Rhia pulled her shirt out from her pant. She slipped her hands behind her and under the shirt to unclasp her bra. To Fuery's amazement, she slid the bra from under blouse without having to undress in front of him. '_How did she do that? I could understand it if it was strapless but it's not.'_ He was brought out of his thoughts when he felt the dress straps slide off. Beka held the dress at his waist while Rhia put her bra on Fuery. Rhia clasped the bra and then stuffed them with some clean washcloths. She gave them a quick squeeze to make sure that they were the right shape and that nothing would fall out before helping put the dress back on him. The two of them stepped back and examined their handiwork.

"Not bad," Beka commented. "He can actually pass as a female."

"You make a cute girl, Fuery," Rhia added. For some reason or another Fuery blushed at that comment. "Now all we have left is the make-up."

They planted Fuery in the chair before they went to get their make-up. It didn't take them long to return with their arms full of cosmetics. The make-up was spread on the floor around the women as they sat in front of Fuery, contemplating the perfect look for him. He sat there looking down at them. '_At least they know what they're doing unlike a certain Lieutenant Colonel I know.'_ Rhia got on her knees and reached up for Fuery's face. She removed his glasses and placed them on the dresser behind them. Fuery had to blink a few times to adjust his eyes. Next she took Fuery's face in her hands and moved it around so that she could get a complete view of it.

"I think we should use a light foundation on him," Beka suggested. "He already has a nice complexion. I don't think we need to use that much make-up on him."

"I agree."

Beka and Rhia set about their next task. Rhia applied the foundation while Beka held his fake hair back. Then she applied a thin layer of blush on him. They decided not to put on any eye shadow but did put mascara on him. All that was left was the lipstick. She grabbed his chin and rolled it across his lips. Afterwards she told him to rub his lips together which he did. It was now complete; at least the appearance part was. Beka grabbed his glasses and placed it back on him.

"I don't think those glasses will do," Beka commented. "They aren't feminine enough." She thought about it for a while. Fuery couldn't go without glasses. He'd probably walk into a wall or off a bridge. An idea popped into her head, and she turned to face Maes. "Lieutenant Colonel, I need to borrow you glasses." Maes didn't even get to say a word before she pulled them off his face and placed them on Fuery. "Umm…they still don't look right. It's still a bit too manly."

"I know," Rhia said as she jumped to her feet. She darted over to her jacket and checked every pocket before coming across her target. "He can use my reading glasses."

"Perfect." Beka took them from Rhia and place them on Fuery after returning Maes's glasses to his face. A huge smile adorned her face when she looked at Fuery. A similar smile came on Rhia's face when she stood in front of him. They basically jumped for joy at their accomplishment. "Now to teach you how to be a woman, but first let's get you in some high heels. I've got the perfect pair to go with you dress." Beka went got her high heels. Fuery slipped into them. He had to use both women to help balance. '_God these are painful. Why the heck do women wear these things? Can't they just wear tennis shoes on their dates? I don't care what they wear along as we have a good time.'_ After a while he finally got the hang of standing in them. It still hurt like hell but he would have to endure it. With the help of Beka and Rhia, he walked around the room until he no longer needed their help to stand. Along the way they showed him how to move his hips like theirs as well as other quirks associated with women. They also taught how to sit in a chair, how to talk, and other useful things. "That's it, Fuery."

"Thank you," Fuery said to both women. "I think I'm all set for the date."

"Great!" Rhia shouted. "Now we just have to work on the lieutenant colonel's disguise."

Maes was still in his corner. He was curled up into a ball. No one knew if he had fallen asleep or if he was comatose from all that had happened to Fuery. He learned more about women then he needed but he did learn a new way of torture for Roy. He was unceremonious woken up by a kick to the butt. Started, he found himself standing up and facing three…women.

"Fuery?" Maes said as he took a step closer. "Is that you?"

"Umm…yes, sir," Fuery responded in a feminine voice. He might as well practice that if he was to be a woman for the next couple of hours. "It's me."

"If you hadn't said so, I would have thought that you were really a woman. We should keep you clear of Havoc. He'd never figure it's you and ask you out."

"That's a good idea. Now shouldn't you be putting on your disguise?"

"I'll do that when I get back. I need to make sure that Roy doesn't bail. Speaking of which I should get going. It's almost seven. Thank you for your help, Sergeant Alice. And you, too, 2nd Lieutenant Aerin. I'll return shortly."

Maes left the three of them to entertain themselves while he made sure that Roy was ready and possibly give him some last minute advice. Fuery, Beka, and Rhia sat on the bed. It was hard to tell that one of these women was actually a man. Rhia was straightening the dresses while Beka was getting a purse ready for Fuery. She put some make-up in it just in case Fuery needed to do some touch ups. His pair of glasses was also put in there since it would probably be late by the time he got back. This way he wouldn't have to come back to Maes's room for them. He had enough memories of this place. After everything was cleaned up, they sat there waiting for Maes to return.

"You know, Fuery," Rhia began. "This is a nice thing that you're doing for the lieutenant colonel. Not many men would do what you did so that Lieutenant Colonel Hughes can take pictures of his best friend's date."

"I don't mind helping people. It's who I am."

"I know and that's why I think that you should be rewarded for you selfless behavior."

"There's no need."

"No, I insist. Next week, I'll take you on a date. My treat."

"Hey, I was going to ask him out, Rhia."

"Really?"

"Well, he was so patient about this whole ordeal and such a nice guy. I had the same idea that you had. I was going to give him treat, too."

"Seriously, I don't need a reward or treat. I was happy to help a friend."

"See, this is why you should get a reward," Beka commented. "And a reward you will get."

"If you two want to," Fuery conceded. "Then I'll go on a date with each of you."

"Great!" Rhia yipped. "Beka and I will arrange everything while you're out with Hughes."

"Okay, you can tell me about it tomorrow at lunch."

They sat in a comforting silence as they waited for Maes's return. Fuery couldn't help but blush at the prospect at having two dates next week. '_I'm actually going on a date. Actually I'm going on two dates. I never thought that this would happen.'_ His thoughts as well as the silence were broken when a blonde spiky haired man barged into the room with sunglasses wearing a casual suit. Fuery didn't know whether to scream or start throwing things at him. It wasn't until the three of them figured out that it was Maes that they put down what they had grabbed to throw.

"Well, let's get going, Fuery," Maes shouted as he grabs Fuery's arm and drags him out the door. "We've got a date to go to."

"Wait!" Rhia shouted. The two of them turned around to face the woman when they were about to exit through the door. "What should we do with Fuery's uniform?"

"Can you put it in my office chair?" Fuery asked. "Havoc, Falman, and I are staying in the office until the dorm and Havoc's room is fixed. The door should still be unlocked. I'll return everything that belongs to you two tomorrow."

"Alright. Have a nice date!"

"Remember, Hughes, don't be too frisky with him," Beka added.

Beka adjusted Fuery's chest before allowing the two of them to leave. Maes and Fuery left the two smiling women for their "date" slightly blushing and coughing. They traveled through the building with Fuery's hand holding onto Maes's arm. There were some stares from the other officers. They hadn't been figured out; rather it was that everyone thought the woman looked too gorgeous to be going out with a Havoc look-a-like.

"So what's your name tonight?" Maes asked Fuery.

* * *

Of course I love Fuery. But it needed to done. I've already tortured Maes, Falman, and Havoc with the bed incident and billboard. Although with Havoc, I torture him whenever I get the chance. And then there is Roy with the pictures, Armstrongs's story, Hayate ripping his manhood apart, and Riza's wits. I could have been worse but I love Fuery as much as I love Hayate which is why I left out the eyebrow plucking, nail polish, and Maes practicing his roaming hands on a male for the pretend date later. Breda will get a bit of torture in the next chapter. And on that note, next chapter is the date. On the first time that I posted this I forgot to explain my comment about the original characters. They are actually names of some of my reviewers. Basiliskwings is actually two people. They are Rhia and Beka. Alice is The Mr. Clean Alchemist. And Aerin is the great white emu. Originally I was going to use the names of those who reviewed most or all the chapters like unexpection, littlefiction, rizahawkeye21, and others but they didn't have their names in their profiles. So after searching through most of the profiles from the faved list, I actually found some names. And that is where the characters of Sergeant Rhia Alice and 2nd Lieutenant Beka Aerin came from. I'll update as soon as possible. See ya! 


	13. Chapter 13

I'M ALIVE! Yes, I'm still here. I didn't succumb to my injuries. I fell prey to something else...my mother. She took away my laptop when she caught me trying to (Cough) type with my injured arm. Now that I'm cast-free and I got my laptop back, I was finally able to finish this chapter. Go figure the date chapter would be a long one. I'll just say this: have the next twenty minutes free. It's almost as long as chapter 11. Well, enjoy!

* * *

One would think that the great womanizer Roy Mustang was confident about his date tonight with his one true love First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. He had gone on many dates with a mountain of different women so he had plenty of experience. There was always an aura of bravery and courage around him. He had face Scar during a downpour without any sense of fear, fought against Ed without even breaking a sweat, and endured the torture of Maes and Armstrong at the same time. One would think that Roy was ready for the most important of all dates that he would ever go out on. And those that think this would be absolutely wrong because at this moment Roy was a nervous wreck. 

It was about a quarter 'til his date with Riza, and he was currently standing in front of her door. The man normally late for everything was actually early for his date. He had finished his paperwork in record time. There was a twenty-minute window to finish it, and he had finished it with ten minutes to spare. After he was finally let out of work, he immediately started getting ready for his date. Normally he would get ready at the last second for his flavor of the night but this girl, no woman, was different. He wanted to please her so he spend nearly two hours getting ready and getting himself calm for the date. Maes was no help in that department when he came to give some last minute advice.

So Roy stood in front of Riza's door stiff as a board staring at it. He wore a simple outfit; nothing too fancy or the brass might catch on. It was a blue dress shirt with a black suit jacket and black slacks. His gloves tucked in one of the jacket's inner pockets and shoes polished. His hair was combed back but from the time he finished combing it to now it had reverted back to its usual messy look. He was at his best, at least when it comes to appearance. Clutched in one hand he held a bouquet of wildflowers, which he had personally picked from around the building and was glad that no one was around at the time to see him do it, tied with a satin blue ribbon. His other hand was tense at his side.

Any other date and Roy would be smooth as silk. But with Riza, he was jumping into a whole different realm of dating. He was sweating bullets, something he hadn't done since he had taken the alchemy exams. All of his muscles were tense and rigid. He was nervous. What was it about this woman that made him act this way? It was a simple date, wasn't it? They were going to dinner, nothing else. Well, they were going to share a bed later that night but not in the way most would think. It wasn't helping Roy relax with these thoughts going through his head. It definitely wasn't helping that Maes was standing at the corner of the hallway giving him a thumbs-up with a Cheshire grin on his face while taking a picture with the other hand.

After taking a couple of deep breaths, Roy managed to relax his body enough to raise his arm to knock on the door. But he hesitated at the last second and was left to look like a statue once again. '_Relax, Roy, it's only a date. You've been on plenty of these. Why should be any different with Riza? I know, but still. Just relax. Take a deep breath and knock on her door. Right, deep breath.'_ He followed his heart's advice and took in a deep breath before finally knocking on the door. When it opened, Roy nearly died and gone to heaven. Hell, he might be in heaven right now. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life.

"Colonel?" Riza said surprised. Roy was early and that had surprised Riza a bit. Normally she would have to threaten him to get things done on time. She was dressed for the date already. That was expected but who in their right mind would've ever guess that world record holder for being lazy Roy Mustang would be at her room early. She noticed that he wasn't his usual cocky self and that he hadn't answered her. Once again, she called out to him. Instead of him opening his mouth to answer, he shoved the flowers in her face. "Umm…thank you." Riza smiled a little at his nervousness. Graciously both of hands cupped his flower-wielding hand. One hand gently pried his hand open to take the flowers while with the other she brushed her fingers across his hand. At the end she was holding the bouquet in both her hands smelling it. She was extremely satisfied with the reaction she got from Roy when her fingers caressed his hand. Roy was trying his best not to blush but couldn't help it after feeling the ghostlike touch of her fingers. Maes was going to have a field day with that picture alone. "Please come in, sir."

Roy awkwardly walked into her room after giving Maes a quick glance when Riza stepped out of the way to let him in. He was still stiff as a board. Riza closed the door behind her and locked it knowing full well that Maes was out there somewhere. When she turned around, she found Roy standing in the middle of the room like a stone wall. She loved every minute of this. Calm, smooth, and assertive had gone out the window and was replaced with nervous, tense, and quiet. One little push of a finger and Roy would have gone down. It was a funny sight.

"Roy?" Riza said after she had placed the flowers on her table. She went and stood in front of him. Roy made no signs of being alive besides breathing and blinking. He didn't even acknowledge Hayate tugging on his pants leg, trying to get his attention. "Are you alright?" Still there was no sign of life. He just continued to stare at the wall. Riza gave into temptation and gave him a little poke. She could feel how tense and stiff he was. There was about ten minutes until their date actually started but she didn't know what their dinner reservations were so she had to find a way to wake him up. That was going to be easy. She laid her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to kiss him. He was wide-awake after that. In fact, he surprised her when he had somehow managed to get the two of them into her bed. After awhile they finally broke apart. "Better?"

"Yes," Roy replied as he started kissing down her neck. Riza tilted her head back to give him better access. He was back to his usual self. His kisses trailed down to her collarbone. The kisses were swept across it to the other side of her neck but along the way he gave a lick at the hollow of her neck, earning a gasp from Riza. Next he started sucking on her earlobe, causing her to shiver beneath him and for her to grip his shoulders tighter. "You look beautiful."

"You don't look too bad yourself," Riza said after managing to stop his kissing assault by holding his face in her hands. Her outfit was simple like Roy's. She wore a dark blue collared vest with a white flowing calf-length skirt. At the moment, she was shoeless since Roy was early. "We should get going. There's some place we should be."

"But I like my current position. It's very comfortable. Besides I'm not worried about the date. If we miss the reservation I'll come up with something."

"Really?" Riza asked before she started kissing him. She started kissing down his neck much like what he was doing with her a few moments ago. But she decided to go even lower than what he had. She started unbuttoning his dress shirt and leaving kisses in its wake down to his chest. "We could just cancel the date altogether." She moved her kisses back up his body to his ear. Her hot breath caused him to shudder. The lick she gave it nearly caused him to collapse on her. He was barely holding his body above hers as she was toying with him. Then she had to push him over the edge with her seductive voice and rubbing one of her legs again his body. "I'm sure we can find _something_ to do for the rest of the night."

"What!" he squeaked out. At Riza's suggestion, he suddenly choked on his own spit and was coughing to clear his throat. Riza was lightly chuckling beneath him. She knew that would get him. It was always fun for her to tease him and make him flustered. After some time, Roy had finally managed to control his breathing and stop coughing. He stared down at Riza, who had an innocent look, with disbelief in his eyes. "What did you say?"

"Just that we should get going," she said playfully. She slid out from under him and sat up, tucking her legs under her. Her hands went to her hair to straighten it out. She was sure that it was sticking all over the place from their little make-out session. "Now straighten yourself up for our date."

"You're cruel," Roy said as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. Riza had gone into the bathroom to better fix her hair and put the flowers in a vase. He sat there buttoning up his shirt and calming down from his close encounter with Riza. "You shouldn't lead me like that."

"But it's fun," Riza called from the bathroom.

Roy sat on the bed somewhat pouting while Riza was still in the bathroom. '_She just had to say that. God that would have been heavenly if she wasn't joking. It makes me want her even more now.'_ He came out of his thoughts to find Hayate sitting in front of him with his leash in his mouth, swishing his tail back and forth. Apparently Hayate thought he was going along with them and was trying to speed things up by getting ready himself. Roy picked up the pup and sat him in his lap. He took the leash from the pup's mouth and placed it on one of Riza's pillows. Then he started stroking the pup's fur. Hayate squirmed out of Roy's grasp and went for his leash. He took the clip end in his mouth and shoved it in Roy's hand. Then he tilted his head to let Roy clip it on. Roy shook his head before picking up Hayate and holding him out in front of him. Hayate panted and wagged his tail at Roy.

"Sorry, boy, but you're not going with us." Hayate understood what Roy had said and started whimpering. He gave him those irresistible puppy eyes of his. Roy's heart started melting at the sight. How was it that Riza could resist those eyes but he couldn't? Hayate sealed Roy's fate when he gave Roy's hand a pleading lick. Roy wanted to give in but they didn't let dogs into the restaurant no matter how great a war hero you were. He didn't know what to do. He was about to put the leash on him until any idea came to him. "I know you want to go but we can't take you so I'll make you a promise. I'll bring back some food and the three of us will have a midnight snack together. How does that sound?"

Hayate started barking with great enthusiasm and his tail went into overdrive. Roy chuckled at the pup's excitement. He placed him down on the bed. Hayate started running around and jumping on the bed. He then proceeded to roll around on the bed before settling on his back. A bark was given to Roy indicating that he wanted the man to rub his belly. Roy easily complied with the pup's request. He attacked Hayate's belly with his fingers, resulting in Hayate yipping and kicking his paws. They were only interrupted when Riza returned from the bathroom.

"You know we're going to be late if you keep playing," Riza said as she put on her shoes. Roy raised an eyebrow at her choice of shoes. He never expected her to wear that type of footwear. Then again this would be the first time that he would see her out of the office, in normal clothes, and out of those boots. Still he never thought that she would wear high heels. Riza stopped midway in putting the strap around her ankle when she caught Roy staring at her. "Something wrong, Roy?"

"High heels, hmm?"

"Yes. Does that bother you?"

"Of course not. I love high heels!" Roy proceeded to take Hayate in his arms and stroke his fur. He continued to stare at Riza with a goofy grin plastered on his face. The sight before him was, in his words, absolutely hot. Riza had one of her legs on a chair so that she could put her shoes on. That way she wouldn't be sitting awkwardly on the ground putting them on or near Roy and his hands. Her skirt was hiked up to rest above the knee so that she could have a better view to put her heels on. But this also gave Roy a perfect view of her leg. "They are the most perfect shoes for a woman to better accentuate their legs. It makes them look longer and smooth. I love them! They go great with a miniskirt!"

That last comment was immediately answered with a purse to the face and a bite to the hand. Riza had thrown it at him for being his perverted self. Hayate had bitten his hand for rubbing him too hard when he said miniskirt. When the purse made contact with his face, Roy flew back to lay on the bed with Hayate attached to his hand. It was obvious that there was a gun in her purse by the force he encountered. Roy lay sprawled on the bed with Hayate tugging at his hand and the purse on his face. Riza could help but laugh at the scene. After finishing strapping on her shoes, she walked over to the bed and crawled on top of him. She removed Hayate from his hand and placed him in front of her on Roy's stomach. Hovering over him she lifted her purse off his face. She was met with a grinning Roy before she found herself laying on her back with Hayate wedged between her and Roy.

"Roy, we don't have time for this." Riza tried to squirm out from underneath Roy but he had her pinned down. Hayate wasn't enjoying this position much either. He didn't like being crushed between his mommy and daddy. His paws were pushing against Roy's body as he tried to move out from between them. If there was some visible skin he would have gladly sank his teeth into it. He already figured out that biting Roy would get a reaction, hopefully one that would get him free. Since that wasn't an option at the moment, he had to settle for whining. " We have a date, remember?"

"Aw, but you just can't show off your legs like that and not let me touch them." Roy held her arms above her head with one hand while the other trailed down her body to her legs. During this process Roy lifted his body enough for Hayate to get free. The pup, at the moment, was scrapping his body against the bed trying to get the scent of Roy's cologne off his fur. He would help his mommy whenever he was done. Riza was left to deal with Roy's roaming hand alone for the time being. It didn't help that her skirt pushed further up in her current position, giving Roy better access to her legs. Even though she didn't like the fact that Roy was in complete control of the situation, she did like the gentle touch Roy had while he was fondling her legs. "Nice and smooth, just like I thought they would be."

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Of course."

"You know we should get to our date. It's past seven."

"No need to worry. Our dinner reservation isn't for another hour."

"I see now. I figured you would have something planned for this. You wanted to have some _fun_ before we deal with Maes."

"You know me too well but there's nothing you can do to stop me from having my fun as you put it with you."

Roy's hand began to creep higher up her leg, higher than what was appropriate in any sensible person's mind. He couldn't help but grin down at her. Riza tried to move her leg away from his hand, somewhat playfully, but he followed it. She knew that he wouldn't go too far. Not if he didn't want a slap to the face, a knee to the groin, a couple of daggers thrown at his body, and a bullet to the head. He may be her boyfriend but _she_ was his girlfriend.

"Oh, but there _is_ something I can do about it."

"What?"

"Buraha!"

"Hayate? What about-damn it Hayate! What is it with you biting my hand?"

On command, Hayate had launched from his position near them onto Roy's wandering hand. Maes wasn't kidding when he said that Hayate was overprotective when it came to Riza. Every time that Roy done something inappropriate to Riza, Hayate was there to save her or in most cases chomp his teeth down on Roy's hands. Being familiar with this type of pain but still being an idiot, Roy tried to yank his hand free of Hayate's teeth. The hand that was holding Riza's arms released them to grab for Hayate but, before that hand moved to grab the pup, one of Riza's hands captured it. Her other hand pushed at his shoulder with a good amount of force causing him back onto the floor with Riza on top him, pinning both of his arms down. Their position was now reversed. Hayate sat on the bed watching them. He had released Roy's hand before he was dragged down with him.

"Now I think you've had enough fun, Roy."

"Aww but I was only getting you back for that comment you made earlier."

"Don't kid yourself. I know that you were having way too much fun playing with my legs."

"What can I say? I love your legs…and everything else about you."

"Flattery won't get you anywhere. Remember who you're dealing with."

"Oh, I remember who I'm dealing with. I'm dealing with my very gorgeous girlfriend who apparently likes to be on top of me." Any interesting shade of red crept onto Riza's cheeks. She couldn't say anything about the comment. Somehow during most of this week she had ended up straddling Roy, from the morning she fell off his bed onto him to the dinner proposal to now. Roy had been on top only a handful of times, okay only four times. Riza sat straight up and look out the window to hide the blush. A few seconds later she tried to get up; but because she let Roy's arms go when she sat up, he quickly grabbed her waist and planted her back on his body. One hand trailed down her leg before running it back up under her skirt. "Now I didn't say that was a bad thing. It gives me a really good view of your body."

"Roy, your hand," Riza warned. That didn't deter Roy from having a little bit of fun. She won't really break his hand, would she? He moved it up just a little higher but not high enough to warrant a bullet to the head. The blush on Riza got brighter and her breath hitched for a second. Roy was enjoying the reactions he was getting from his touch as he gently rubbed the underside of her thigh. He gave a slight flinch when he felt Riza's hand grabbed his, for the moment, extremely lucky hand. Maybe she would break his hand after all. But the cracking of his bones never came; instead he stared in shock as he felt Riza move their hands higher up her leg. She was still looking out the window blushing. A smile couldn't help but make its way onto his face. It was quickly wiped off when their hands made their final destination. "Now, no more playing. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am," Roy immediately answered. He knew what would happen if he gave the wrong response. '_She's been armed the whole time. What the hell? I never would have thought she'd wear her hip holster under her skirt. I better tread carefully. Although from the feel of her underwear-stop that!'_ He removed his hand from under her skirt and placed it on her hip with his other hand. Sitting up, he moved them back from her hip to wrap them around her body. He started kissing her neck. "I'll be a good boy."

"Now let's get to our date," she said breaking from Roy's embrace and standing up. She straightened her skirt up before finally offering a hand to help Roy up. Roy had to also make some adjustments to him clothes so that it didn't look so rumpled. "Maes will know that something is up if we're late to the restaurant. We'll play later."

Riza picked up her purse and gave Hayate a goodbye kiss on the head before going to stand at the door. Roy made the move to go with her but found his arm being pulled back. He looked down to find Hayate attached to his jacket's sleeve. '_What is it now?'_ Roy bent down to look Hayate in the eyes. The pup strangely enough let go of the sleeve and bowed his head. Thinking that he just wanted to be petted by him, Roy moved his hand to pet him. Hayate immediately dodged the hand. Then he moved back to his previous position and bowed his head again. Naturally Roy was confused by the pup's actions.

"He wants you to give him a kiss goodbye," Riza explained to the slightly irritated Roy.

"He wants me to kiss him?"

"Yes. Just do it so we can go."

"Fine."

Roy surrendered and slowly leaned in to kiss Hayate's head. Hayate being a bit impatient with his daddy's slow movement jumped from the bed onto Roy's face, licking it. Roy fell back on his butt while grabbing Hayate. He immediately pulled the puppy away from his face. His eyes sent a glare to the pup but he had a somewhat amused face. He sat back up and placed Hayate back on the bed. Hayate sat there wagging his tail looking very innocent that Roy just couldn't stay angry with him. After giving a quick pat on the head, Roy stood and joined a smiling Riza at the door.

"Be good, Buraha," Riza said before leaving with Roy.

When they arrived at the restaurant after a quiet half hour drive, due to the fact that it was unfamiliar with Roy driving, the two of them could see the other conspirators of this date. Falman sat near the middle of the entire restaurant in his little get-up. It was hard to pick him out from the other patrons. Roy and Riza barely recognized him due to the wig he was wearing. The brown hair was slicked back with plenty of gel. Some wire frame glasses accentuated his face. He wore a black shirt with a gray suit. The dead give away that it was Falman was his eyes. They were always thin slits. A few tables away from him were Breda and Ed. Breda had been made to dress up as a pregnant woman and Ed was to be his son. It had taken some time to convince the both of them to go through with the charade. Neither wanted to be there at the moment. Breda was adamant about not wanting to do it until Riza decided to step in. He wholeheartedly agreed when she threatened to lock him in the office with Hayate. Ed had been quick to agree when Havoc had threatened to call Winry and tell her that he 'broke' his automail again. If he and the others were going through with this traumatizing plan then Ed was as well. Breda wore a sky blue dress that reached his ankles. Much like everyone else going undercover, he had a wig on. It was the same red color of his original hair but fell down his back. His disguise would have been better if they had actually convinced him to shave his beard. He was just going to chalk it up to hormones. Ed was the only one out the spies that wasn't wearing a wig. He had alchemically changed it to match the red of Breda's hair and had opted to wear it in a ponytail instead of the usual braid. Although he couldn't be seen, Al was hiding somewhere amongst the walls with a camera to photograph this whole facade. The only people missing besides Havoc, he wasn't to arrive until later, was Maes and Fuery.

It wasn't until five minutes after Roy and Riza were seated that Maes and Fuery made their appearance. Roy almost had to do a double take when he caught sight of Fuery. The man looked good as a woman although not as good as the one sitting across from him. And Roy had quickly figured it out that the Havoc look-a-like was Maes. The man could never completely hide his true nature, and the smile on his face obviously gave him away. The hostess had seated them two tables away from the couple near Breda and Ed but only Roy could see them.

"Should we go ahead and order?" Roy asked looking at Riza while keeping Maes in his peripheral vision.

"Shouldn't we wait for Fuery to get here first?" Riza asked back. "It would be rude to order without him."

"Right, I forgot that he was eating with us."

Out of the corner of his eye he could see Fuery quickly get out of his seat and head for the door. It was obvious they had forgotten about that little detail as well. About two minutes later, a waiter came by with a note for Roy. While Roy was reading it, Fuery was making his way back to Maes. Riza may have not been able to see what was going but she had a good idea. Roy quickly relayed the message to Riza for appearance sake even though she already knew what the message would say. Afterwards they ordered their dinner.

"So how's it going?" Riza whispered to Roy.

"It looks like Maes doesn't notice the others."

"Good. I was afraid that he might have figured Breda out…because of the beard."

Roy watched as his loyal subordinates went along with his plan. The waiters were going around taking their orders. He cringed at that thought because he had offered to pay for their dinners for going along with the plan even more so since Ed was there. The boy could probably out eat the entire military with his hollow leg. But in a bigger part of Roy's mind he was willing to stuff the boy to his heart's content for this date with Riza.

"What can I get you, ma'am?" a cute waitress asked Breda.

"I'll have the chicken and the pasta."

"And what can I get you, little man?"

"I'll have the soup," Ed gritted out. He didn't like the fact that the waitress had called him a little man. At the moment he wanted to start ranting and raving but that would completely blow his cover so he held it in for later. "And a small salad."

"And to drink?" the waiter asked.

"I'll have some tea and my _little_ boy will have a soda," Breda quickly answered which expectantly earned him a glare from Ed. If he was going to be uncomfortable tonight someone was going to be uncomfortable with him. He could clearly see Ed's right eyebrow start to twitch. "That's should be enough for now."

"Very well, you're order should be ready in a few minutes," the waitress stated. She stared a few minutes at Breda's face when she caught sight of his beard but quickly dismissed it when she caught sight of his stomach. "And might I say, ma'am, you seem to be glowing. Your pregnancy is doing you wonders."

"Why thank you!" Breda exclaimed trying to be friendly.

"It looks like you're having twins, maybe even triplets."

"No, just the one." Breda was trying to keep a straight face but his eyebrow did twitch slightly. He was using all his willpower to refrain from shouting out at the woman but more so keep from strangling a smirking Ed. '_I'm not that fat.'_ he thought as he gave the woman an overly sweet smile. "We're only being blessed with one."

"And you must be overjoyed that you'll be a big brother soon," she said to Ed. "What are you ten?"

"No, he actually eight," Breda quickly intervened before Ed could pop a blood vessel and jump the poor lady. "He's just big for his age."

"Oh. Well, I'll go place your order now. Have a nice dinner."

The waitress left the angry Ed and grinning Breda for the kitchen. Ed sat slouched in his chair with his arms crossed over his chest. He didn't know whether to be mad that the waitress thought he was ten, bitter that Breda said he was eight, or glad that someone had actually said that he was big for his age. Breda was happy that he got the last laugh so he quickly let the twins comment slide. Falman and Roy were trying their best not to laugh at what had just happened. If you take away the facade that Breda was a woman and that Ed was eight, then anyone could clearly see that they had been called fat and short. Somewhere in the recesses of Roy's mind, he knew he was going to pay for this later.

By the time that Roy, Riza, Breda, and Ed have gotten their dinner and started eating, Havoc had finally made his appearance. He was probably trying to put this off for as long as he could. It wasn't bad enough that he couldn't get a woman but now he had to dress as one. If all else failed he could always date himself seeing that he made a pretty good-looking chick. By the looks of things, he probably went through the same treatment as Fuery did minus the being tied up part. He wore a silk black skirt that hung just below the knee with a slit on the right that stopped mid-thigh. Both legs looked to be completely smooth and hairless. One could only guess what the others had to do for that to happen. Accompanying the skirt was a simple white blouse. His hair stopped just below the chin and was the usual dirty blonde color. Havoc stood at the entrance scanning over the people. He quickly found Roy and Riza since they were the only ones not in disguise. Ed and Breda were just as easily found. The only person left of the merry band was Falman. He was only found when stood up to approach Havoc. While he was waiting for Falman to get to him, he busied himself with looking for Maes and Fuery. His jaw nearly dropped when he found his eyes looking at himself or rather Maes. The man pulled off the Havoc look better than he did and that was _his_ look. Then he swore that he felt his jaw unhinge when he saw Fuery. '_Man, Fuery looks good for a woman. I wonder how his chest-stop it! This is Fuery I'm talking about.' _He was only brought back to reality when Falman spoke.

"I was wondering when you would get here, Jacqueline," Falman said as he hesitantly took Havoc's hand to guide him to their table. Being a bit uncomfortable the hand was moved to the crook of Falman's arm. Havoc was glad that he had a good grip on Falman's arm or else he would have fell flat on his face due to the high heels that he was wearing. After all of this is through, Mustang's entire company was going to be in need of some serious therapy, and they were going to drag Maes along for the ride seeing that he was the reason or rather the cause of this. "I hope nothing is wrong."

"No, everything's fine," Havoc replied as he allowed Falman to pull out his chair for him. He adjusted his skirt while he waited for Falman to take the seat across from him. "I just wanted to look nice for our date."

The two of cringed slightly at the word date. They were still trying to figure out how the two of them had been paired together. Nothing was really discussed about how they should do things. Roy hadn't said a word to them about it since he immediately left the office to do his thing or whatever. Riza didn't really have any plans for them. She just said that they were going to be there on the date with them and that they could figure out the rest for themselves before leaving to deliver Roy's completed paperwork to the proper place. She was later informed of what they were going to do. So how was it that the two of them ended up as a couple?

When everyone had finished their dinners, Riza and the 'ladies' had excuse themselves, at different times, for the bathroom. Breda had stayed behind with Ed so that Maes wouldn't get suspicious with so many leaving for the bathroom. The men were left to entertain themselves while they waited for their return. Roy had busied himself with trying to remember the rest of the plan. His nerves were getting to him. All he could think about was the special surprise he had planned for Riza. Falman was casually sipping his wine, and Maes was sneaking glances at Roy. He just couldn't wipe that smile off his face as his mind kept running over the fact that Roy was on a date with Riza.

In the bathroom, Riza was helping Havoc and Fuery touch up their makeup. It was a wonder that these men actually knew how to put it on. She could only speculate how Havoc knew but Fuery was a mystery to her. There was very little she had to do for them, just the mascara. She didn't have to do anything herself since she wore very little. Although she was the no nonsense Riza with sharp eyes, she couldn't help but snigger a bit at the fact that she was in the ladies' bathroom with two male coworkers. The two males smiled as they found the sight to be funny as well.

"Does he suspect?" Riza questioned Fuery.

"No, he's too wrapped up in the fact that it's yours and the colonel's first date," Fuery answered. "He hasn't figured the others are here in disguise."

"Good," Havoc said. "I don't want all this trouble we went through to be for nothing."

"So how are you two enjoying your dates?" Riza asked trying to stifle her laughter.

"We should be asking you that seeing that you're the only one that's actually here on a date," Havoc quickly replied. "As for Falman, he's fine. It's a bit weird but not completely uncomfortable. But man, these high heels are a pain in the ass. How can women wear them for such a long period of time without wanting to throw them out the car window?"

"Of course we want to throw them out the window. We just have to endure them for our dates."

"Well, my feet are already numb so I can't feel anything and the lieutenant colonel isn't so bad either," Fuery added. "This is the first time being around him that he hasn't pulled out his pictures."

"That must be killing him," Riza said as she put her make up in her purse. The others followed suit. "We're probably going to get a double dose of it especially with those pictures he's been taking."

"Pictures?" Havoc questioned. "He's been taking pictures the entire time we've been here."

"Of course, did you honestly believe that Maes wouldn't be taking pictures of Roy's and my first date?"

"Oh dear god. We're probably in some of those pictures. I'm never going to get a woman if they believe that I cross dress."

"Relax, when the whole birthday thing is over everyone will know the truth of what you all had to go through to surprise him. Beside I don't think Maes is going to flash them around since Roy and me aren't supposed to be dating. You know, the fraternization rule. He would never do anything to jeopardize our relationship. So until that rule is gone, you're safe."

"That's good."

"Anyways, we better get going before Maes starts to suspect."

"Right, I'll go first." Havoc rechecked his appearance before finally walking to the door. Just as he's about to leave he stopped and faced the others. "Oh yeah, I should give you this first, Hawkeye." Havoc raised his skirt up to reveal a thigh holster on his left leg. He quickly unhooked it and gave it to Riza. "I forgot you asked me to wear your holster for you tonight. Well I'll be going now."

"Thanks," Riza called to the disappearing Havoc.

"Why did you need Havoc to wear your holster?" Fuery questioned.

"Just in case Roy manages to get my other guns, which he knows about, away from me. This way I won't be completely defenseless against him. It'll be a little surprise for him if he tries to be frisky the rest of the night."

"Oh."

"Well, I think it's my turn to leave."

With that Riza left to continue the rest of her date with Roy. Fuery counted to ten before finally exiting the bathroom to continue his 'date' with Maes. He wasn't entirely looking for to it. Sure Maes was actually a good person to go out with but he was a man and that fact wasn't comforting Fuery. At least the thoughts of Sergeant Alice and 2nd Lieutenant Aerin were helping him through this ordeal. When he reached his table, he came in contact with a grinning man. Maes motioned his head to the right to answer Fuery's raised eyebrow. Fuery looked to find Roy and Riza sharing some tiramisu. He couldn't help but smile as he noticed how truly happy the colonel looked as the man gazed at his smiling lieutenant. As not to get caught, he turned his attention back to Maes.

"So are you enjoying our date, Kate?" Maes asked.

"Yes, I'm having a lovely evening," Fuery replied. He had this girl thing down. It was a wonder that the others figured who he really was so quickly. He could tell by the reactions he got when he first entered the restaurant that they were completely floored, everyone but Hawkeye. She didn't seem too surprised by his appearance. "Are you having a good time?"

"Of course, my dear." Maes took Fuery's hands in his and leaned in closer to the young man's face. Fuery immediately blushed while at the same time resisted the urge to jerk his hands away. He knew that nothing was going to happen but was still hesitant to lean his face in. After a quick deep breath, he leaned in closer so that Maes could whisper in his ear. "Does she suspect?"

"I don't think so. She didn't actually see me. I was just exiting my stall when she left the bathroom."

"Good because Roy's been preoccupied with this date to even figure that it's me. I've gotten some good pictures so far. As soon as that fraternization law is lifted I'm posting them all over the base. I should buy some space in a couple of the newspapers. Oh, this is just going to be so great."

"Yes, sir, but until then we must keep it a secret from the higher ups."

"Right. Until then I'll just stick to my pictures of Elicia and Glacier."

"I figured. And I guess we were both wrong about the lieutenant wearing heels."

"I know. That was a shocker to me. I wonder if she can run those things."

"Probably. Anyways we better lean back before people start to think that something is going to happen."

"Right."

The two quickly separated finding that the closeness to each other's faces was extremely uncomfortable. They continued to hold hands for appearance sake, after all they were suppose to act like a couple. They only let go when their desserts had arrived. The arrival of the desserts was everyone else's cue for the end of the first half of the date. This meant that Havoc, Falman, Breda, and Ed were to make their exit to be in position of the second half of the date. And of course their exit had to be dramatic. The interesting thing was that Ed had come up with the plan.

"I've brought you and your little boy some dessert," the waitress from earlier said to Breda. Ed was trying his best to keep from slapping the woman for calling him little again as she placed a piece of chocolate cake in front of him. The cake in front of him lessened his anger a bit even though he knew that he wasn't going to get to enjoy it. His plan called for him and the others to quickly leave the restaurant. Just as the waiteress was leaving she heard a squishing noise below her feet. She looked down to find the floor under the table wet. "Did either of you spill your drinks?"

"No," they both replied knowing full well that Ed had made the floor wet without anyone noticing the alchemic lightshow.

"Then why is there-oh my god! Ma'am, I think your water broke!"

"What!" echoed throughout the restaurant as every customer turned his or her attention to Breda, Ed, and the panicking waitress.

"Mom, we need to get you to the hospital," Ed shouted as he jumped out of his seat rushing to Breda's side. He didn't like the fact that he called someone other than his own mother 'mom' nonetheless a man. The only one close enough to be his and Al's mother was the lieutenant, which was why he had agreed to go along with this date in the first place aside from the threat. Breda let out some moans or noises that signified that he was feeling pain to better help the situation they had just created. "Come on, let's go."

"But you're too young to drive," the waitress started as she helped Ed lift Breda out of the chair. "And I don't think that you can reach the foot pedal."

"We'll take her," Falman offered before Ed could lose want little restraint he had left. He had made his way over and taken over the boy's position. He and the waitress were walking Breda towards the door. Havoc had resigned himself to carry Breda's purse with his own and hold Ed's hand as they followed them. "I can get her there in about twenty minutes."

"But what about your bill?" the cashier shouted to get their attention.

"Put it on my bill," Roy said. Riza had informed him about that part of the plan at the beginning of the date before Maes had arrived. By now him and Riza were getting ready to leave. They were standing in front of the cashier ready to pay their own bill. Roy was pulling out more money for Havoc and the others' food while Riza was standing next to him holding a doggy bag. When it came to promises Roy kept them. He was paying for the others' food like he said he would and was bringing food back for Hayate so they could have their little midnight snack together. "They shouldn't be worrying about that right now."

"If you insist."

Roy left the restaurant after nearly emptying his wallet for his date. All in all, he would say that it was extremely worth it to be with Riza right now out in the moonlight. It was also nice to see other people torturing Ed about his height but being with Riza was way better. They walked out towards the car but Riza stopped them about halfway there. She only stopped when she was absolutely sure that Maes and Fuery were hiding somewhere, watching them. She figured she'd give Maes a good photo moment.

"That was really nice of you to pay for their bills," Riza said before giving Roy a quick peck on the cheek.

"Umm…yeah," Roy said as he was furiously blushing. Normally he could hide his blush when she kissed him but this was out in public. He couldn't stop the heat from rushing to his cheeks. "Uh…would you like to go for a walk in the park?"

"That would be nice."

"Great, let's go to the one over there."

After putting Riza's purse and the doggy bag in the car, the two of them walked to the nearby park where the others were hiding throughout as per the plan. Maes and Fuery were following them but made sure that they couldn't be spotted if Roy and Riza unexpectedly turned around. They would surely be fried to a crisp if they interrupted their time together. Roy and Riza were walking down the path side by side in silence. Neither knew what to talk about and beside it was a comforting silence. They were just content to walking with each other. Words didn't need to be exchanged for them to know what the other felt at the moment. Those words had long been said and acted upon in the privacy of Riza's room. In a bold move, Roy took Riza's hand in his.

"Sir?" Riza said looking up into Roy's eyes and blushing face.

"Umm…your hand looked cold," Roy said as he released her hand to scratch the back of his head. He found himself nervous once again. He just couldn't figure out why he was so nervous. This was just Riza that he was with. She was already his girlfriend so why was his heart trying to escape his chest. The hand that he was using to make himself look foolish went in his jacket to pull out his gloves. He took her hand once again and placed his gloves in it. "Here. These should keep them warm."

"Umm…alright." Riza slid the gloves onto her hands while trying to keep from smiling. She was absolutely sure that no one but Roy wore the gloves. Others might have handled them like her, Maes, and even little Hayate but no one else had worn them except their owner. She felt quite honored to be allowed to wear them. "Thank you. They're very comfortable."

"Your welcome."

Roy was feeling like a complete idiot for what had just done. He should have just continued to hold her hand but, no, he had to give her his gloves to wear. Stupid man. And he really wanted to hold her hand right now. '_Idiot. Moron. Stupid. You gave her your gloves to wear instead of holding her hand. What are you, nuts?'_ That's what everyone, including Roy, was thinking as they watched the two. A perfectly good moment ruined. Roy was brought out of his thoughts when he felt a slender hand grab onto his. He looked down to find Riza holding his hand. Her other hand was holding his gloves protectively against her chest.

"I think your hand is warmer than the gloves," Riza said looking up at him with a smile and a hint of red in her cheeks.

Roy returned her smile and tightened his grip on her hand. Maes would surely have been jumping and shouting in joy if he wasn't trying to discreetly follow them. He must have gone through a single roll of film for that moment alone. The only thing left that he needed a picture of was of them kissing each other on the lips. Him and Fuery were seated on a bench along the path that Roy and Riza had been walking on. He needed to put a new roll in his camera. Fuery sat next to him patiently waiting for him to do his thing. By the time Maes had finished putting the new roll in, Roy and Riza were making their way back towards them. Maes and Fuery had no time to hide from their view, not if they didn't want to look suspicious. So they sat on the bench looking at each other, trying to act like a loving couple. They leaned their faces closer in hopes that it would better conceal their faces. Maes could feel to two lovebirds coming closer to them. He was trying his best not to freak out. A swift pat to his back and he found his lips crashing with Fuery's. The two stared in shock as their lips were still locked. When they broke apart, Maes looked up to find Roy waving a hand at him over his shoulder. He had been found.

With Maes utterly mortified and the others taking pictures of them from their hiding spots, Roy used this opportunity to pull Riza into the trees away from prying eyes. He gently pushed her up against a tree and locked his lips with hers. It had been too long, in his mind, since he had kissed her. He could still taste the tiramisu on her lips and tongue. Breaking the kiss, he smiled down at her. He truly was unworthy of a woman like her but was extremely grateful that she was his.

After a moment of gazing lovingly into her eyes, Roy finally remembered his surprise for her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her through the trees. There was a reason why he had chosen that restaurant. It wasn't because of the excellent service. No, it was because of its location. Specifically its location to this park they were in. It had secret place that only he knew about. After about ten minutes of aimlessly running through the trees, they finally reached it. Riza's eyes widened in shock and awe. She was stunned at the sight before her. Roy had brought her to a hidden meadow filled with a plethora of glowing wildflowers. In the far end there was a glimmering pond. There were a few tree scattered throughout the field. Unknowingly she took a few steps into the field. Roy watched as she walked around in the flowers. The moon seemed to be playing tricks on his eyes. It looked like she was glowing in the moonlight with the flowers. Her hair shone brightly as she gracefully walked around. It was like he was watching an angel.

"It's beautiful," she said looking at him.

Roy was pretty much in a daze before she spoke to him. He awoke to see Riza standing a few feet away from him. Her hands were behind her back and small smile graced her face. There was a light breeze causing her hair to dance in the air. There was little Roy could do to stop from staring at her and returning the smile. He walked until they were only a few centimeters apart. His hand cupped her cheek a second before moving down to hold her chin. A tint of pink made onto Riza's cheeks as she looked into Roy's loving eyes.

"But not as beautiful as you," Roy said before he gave her a simple kiss, no tongue or need to ravage her mouth just a simple loving kiss.

"Thank you for bringing me here."

"I just thought that this could be our actual first date. You know, just the two of us enjoying each other's company without Maes and our merry band of friends. It's not like the restaurant actually counted as our first date anyways. It was just a friendly dinner after all."

"That would be wonderful."

Sudden gushes of wind swept pass them and Riza found her arms wrapping around Roy's waist under his jacket and burying her face in his chest to escape the cold. Roy chuckled a little before wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. Riza slowly looked up at him with embarrassment clearly written across her face. The only thing Roy could think of to do at the moment was rest his forehead against hers.

"If you wanted a hug you could have just asked," Roy joked. Riza pulled away muttering an apology to him. Roy immediately pulled her back against him, wrapping his arms tighter around her. "Don't worry. I'll keep you warm. Come on, there's something I want to show you."

Roy guided Riza to the edge of the pond. Upon arriving Riza gasped in surprise. With the moon shining at its fullest it looked like someone how thrown glitter throughout the pond. Armstrong's sparkles could easily be put to shame. Riza stood there mesmerized by the water while Roy was kneeled next to her gliding his hand through the water. She was almost tempted to push him in but refrained from doing so. Instead she slipped off her heels and walked into the water. The cool water helped ease the pain she had in her feet from wearing the heels. Roy actually sat down and stared at the innocence that Riza was exhibiting as she walked in the pond gently splashing the water around with her feet.

"Roy this is the best date I've ever been on," she said turning to look at him.

"Same here. None of my other dates can even compare to this. Maybe it's because I'm here with someone I love."

"I love you, too, so come walk with me."

"Aww, but I don't want to get wet."

"Why because you're useless when you're wet?"

"Low blow." The next thing Roy knew water hit his face. He opened his eyes to find Riza bent near the water with her hands in it, laughing. Another stream of water came his way and he was barely able to dodge it. A smirk came onto his face. He quickly took off his shoes and socks before rolling up his pants. Riza could see a mischievous glint in his eyes. "So you want to play."

With that Roy jumped into the pond and ran towards Riza, shouting a silly battle cry. Riza sent another splash his way before taking off. Roy chased after her, splashing water at her along the way. He was caught off guard when she unexpectedly turned around and jumped into his arms, laughing. If he didn't have a good footing, the two would have went crashing into the water. Although it had caught him off guard, he did manage to spin her around in his arms a couple of times laughing along with her. This was a whole different type of Riza he was experiencing and he was enjoying every minute of it. He hadn't heard her laugh like that or smile so big. She was having the time of her life and he was being brought along the ride with her. He had never laugh so much on a date before or ever in his life. Nor had he smiled so much that he could have easily resembled Maes.

By the end of the water fight, Riza was perfectly dry while the lower half of Roy's pants was soaking wet. The two of them of had resigned themselves to sit under a tree located near the pond. Riza sat in Roy's lap with her back to his chest. He had his arms wrapped protectively around her midsection with hers resting on them. Her head was leaned against his while they enjoyed each other's warmth. Both sigh in content as they gazed at the twinkling stars surrounding the wondrous moon. All in all it was the perfect date. There were no annoying Maes to photograph it, no pipsqueak to ruin the mood, no grandfather to ask for great-grandchild, and no coworkers to interrupt them.

"Look, Roy," Riza said as she pointed up into the tree.

Another scene was added to their already perfect night. Fireflies filled the branches above them. Their lights blinked throughout the tree resembling the stars in the midnight sky. Riza held out her hand as a lone firefly came down to them, landing in her palm. She watched it with great fascination as it made her hand glow. That was another thing that made Riza different from all the other women that Roy had dated. She wasn't afraid of a simple little bug. The others had always freaked out when a bug had crawled on them as it made its journey to who knows where. They even freaked out when the bug was like two feet away from them. But Riza actually enjoyed their presence. Roy had thought that she was going to close her hand and crush the poor bug; but instead she blew it out of her hand, causing it to fly away to dance with the others that were starting to fly around them, before settling comfortably back against Roy, lacing her fingers with his. Roy took this opportune position to start leaving featherlike kisses in her hair, down her neck, and on her exposed shoulder. He felt her shiver but knew that it wasn't from his touch. A lot of time had passed since their actual date had begun and the air was becoming cooler.

"Sit up for a second, Riza," Roy said as he removed his hands from hers.

Riza complied his request and sat up. Roy moved his body away from the tree and removed his jacket. Lying back against the tree, he put the between his and Riza's body wrapping it tightly around her shoulders. Pulling her against his body, he closed the front of the jacket to better shield from the cold elements. Riza snuggled closer to Roy as he held her.

"Thank you," Riza said resting her head against the side of his neck. "But won't you get cold?"

"I've got you to keep me warm tonight."

"But didn't you promise to keep me warm and not the other way around?"

"Well, yes but…well…"

"I was only joking. You know I'll keep you warm."

Riza turned her body so she could bury her face in his neck. Roy's face flared up as he felt her hot breath and soft lips on his neck. He was definitely going to stay warm tonight. That was if he could keep from melting into a puddle of goo. Her lips were just driving him crazy especially when they touched his Adam's apple and then there were her hands on his chest. It took all of his willpower to keep from pushing her onto the ground and returning the favor. Then all of a sudden the kisses stopped and Roy involuntarily let out a whimper. Riza could clearly tell that he was pouting at her abrupt stop.

"You're cruel."

"What? I'm just trying to keep you warm, Roy, and you seem to be burning up with heat so I stopped."

"Oh geez, I wonder why."

"Later," she chuckled at the begging face he was giving her.

Riza curled up in Roy's lap, resting her head on his shoulder. Roy wrapped one arm around her while he ran the other through her hair. '_Her hair is so soft. Silky. I wonder if I could get her to wear it down at work. That way I could run fingers through it instead of doing my paperwork. Unlikely but a guy can dream.' _He ran his hand down her arm to rest at her hip with his other hand. He was happy to just sit there and watch her while she was staring at the pond. It was only when her eyes met his that remembered something important.

"Riza?"

"Yes?"

"You never did answer my question from this morning."

"What question was that?" she asked squirming in his arms.

"How would you feel if I accepted your grandfather's offer?"

* * *

See, the wait was worth it. Now I just have to fill my head up with more ideas for this story. Hopefully I can get back to my normal updating schedule. Sorry for any mistakes. I didn't feel like proofreading and putting the update off for another day. Well, until next time. 


	14. Chapter 14

Last chapter was a fun one. I think I tortured them quite well. Did anyone out there honestly believe that I wouldn't make Havoc dress up like a woman? Seriously, Havoc's an easy target for my ideas. I have some interesting things planned for him. And poor Maes, I made kiss yet another guy. I'm glad everyone enjoyed their date and hated the cliffhanger. And Yay! Over 300 reviews. The 300th review came from Kira-chan. Sorry, Uranaikko, you were off by one. Oh yeah. If you haven't figured out, Fuery's and Haovc's code names are from the manga. Enough, it's time to read the story. Enjoy!

* * *

Riza knew that question was going to come up again. It was the only thing that was plaguing her mind that night, beside the usual things involving her relationship with Roy. She only hoped that Roy had forgot that he asked that question, but that was too much to ask for. Much like the first time he asked the question, her face flared up. Only this time she had managed to hide it by burying her face in Roy's chest. Her hands were tightly gripping his shirt as she tried her best to hide her face from Roy. Her body squirmed at the answer she would have to give him. In the end she knew that she would have to face Roy and answer his question which was sooner than she hoped when she felt Roy's hand on her cheek. That cool hand on her heated cheek traveled down until it reached her chin. It was pulled up to where she was now looking at Roy's face. 

"Riza, please answer me. How would you feel if I accepted his offer?" By now Riza had managed to cool her face down. There was only a faint tint of pink on her cheek, hopefully faint enough that Roy didn't noticed. One of her hands grab the hand that was holding her chin and pulled it down. She moved her sight down to look at her hands. She was grateful that her bangs covered her face from Roy. "Riza?"

"I'd feel…I'd feel…I'd feel like shooting myself."

"What?"

She removed his hands from around her waist and stood up, turning her face away from him. After adjusting the jacket around her shoulders, she took some step away from him into the field of flowers. Roy felt like his heart was being ripped out. He sensed an aura of sorrow around her. '_Did I say something wrong? Or does she not want to marry me?'_ He quickly got to his feet. Slowly, he made his way to her, hopeful that he hadn't done anything to ruin their relationship already. Cautiously, he wrapped his arms around her waist, only to have her flinch.

"I'm sorry, Roy, I d-"

"No, don't apologize," Roy interrupted her. He didn't want her to finish what she wanted to say. If she did, then he might hear the words that he absolutely dreaded leave her lips, and he doubted that he could live after that. "It's my fault. I shouldn't have asked you. It's too soon. This is our _first_ date after all. I'm sorry. Let's forget I ever asked."

Again, Riza broke free from Roy's embrace. She took a few steps away from him once again. Not once had she turned to look at him. It scared Roy that she wouldn't look at him. He was even more terrified when he saw a slight glimmer near her eyes. Her head was kept bent down as she took off his jacket.

"Maybe we shouldn't have done all of this," Riza said handing him his jacket as she kept her back to him.

"I…I understand," Roy sadly replied as he took his jacket back.

In truth he didn't understand why all of this was happening but he had to respect her wishes. He thought everything was going great in their relationship. There hadn't been any awkwardness between them even if they had only been dating for a single day. He even found it somewhat ironic that the only bed he felt comfortable and safe in was that of his first lieutenant's. For the first time in his life since ever did he find himself truly happy, but now that had gone down the drain because he went to far into their future before they were ready for it.

"I think I should go."

Roy stood there in a daze as he watched Riza walk into the woods and disappear from his sight, disappear from his life. It was only when she was gone that everything hit him like a ton of bricks. He had just lost the love of his life. His jacket found its way to the flowers as his arms went limp against his sides. His head was heavy with despair which was obvious by the way he hung it. He couldn't believe it. Riza was gone. Tears threatened to fall but he just couldn't let them yet. He had to be brave and show that it didn't affect him even as his heart was falling to pieces. He had to treat Riza just like any other woman he dated but in reality that wasn't possible. She wasn't like other women he wooed. He didn't steal her from anyone, didn't have to use his charms on her, but more importantly didn't really have to do anything but be himself. All he needed to be was Roy, not Flame Alchemist Colonel Roy Mustang.

"She loves me but she doesn't want to marry me," he quietly said as tears streamed down his cheeks.

It just wasn't possible anymore. He couldn't hold back his tears, no matter how much he tried. His heart belonged completely to her, and she returned it to him in pieces. He felt his legs become weak, and he knew it was a matter of time before he was on his hands and knees crying like a baby. Just as he was about to fall to his knees, he found his body thrown back and a weight on him.

"I promised I'd always stay by your side," he heard whispered in his ear. It was only then did he noticed slender arms wrapped around his neck. Subconsciously, his arms wrapped around the body on top of him. "Whether it be as your lieutenant, adjutant, or as your…wife."

Roy felt the body move on top of him and the arms release his neck. His eyes soon came into contact with those of amber ones. He could see that she was crying as well but for a different reason than he was. Happily adorned on her face was a smile. Her tear soon began to mix with his as they fell onto his face. Riza slowly bent down to lick away his and her own tears; but before she could move away from his face afterwards, Roy lock his lips with her. It was a desperate kiss from Roy. His emotions were running rampant already, and he didn't want anything else but her. Riza amply complied with his need.

"You came back," Roy said after he broke the kiss.

"I never left," Riza replied laying her forehead against his. "I just had to make sure."

"Make sure?"

"I had to make sure that you were absolutely serious about it."

"How could I not be serious about marrying you?"

"You can't be serious about doing your paperwork. How can I truly believe that you wouldn't break my heart like you did to so many other women?"

"Well, I…umm…you see…you've got a point. I passed, didn't I?"

"I wouldn't be here if you didn't. The Great Flame Alchemist wouldn't have made himself useless by trying to drown himself in his own tears if he didn't just lose the love of his life and mean it. I'm sorry I made you cry."

"It's alright. I have a feeling that you'll make it up to me. But Riza, don't ever do that again. I don't think my heart can take anymore tests."

"I won't. I promise."

With that Riza kissed him. Her hands rested on Roy's shoulders as he moved her onto her back. One arm propped him up while the other rested on her waist. Before long that hand on her waist found its way into her hair. Riza's hands found their way into his hair, massaging his scalp as they continued with their kiss. It took them a while until they finally broke the kiss. By then Roy was completely on top of Riza, holding her arms down. Her hair was spread out, tangling with the flowers while her skirt was slightly pushed up with her legs bent. Roy seemed to have found his home on top of her.

"I'm glad you came back," Roy said kissing her neck.

"Well, I did forget my shoes by the pond," Riza joked. She could feel Roy laughing against her neck. His hot breath on it was making her feel dizzy. "It wouldn't do for me to walk barefoot through the woods."

"I hope that wasn't the only thing you came back to get."

"I don't think I forgot anything else."

Riza felt Roy move around on top of her but paid no attention to it until she felt Roy slip something onto one of her fingers. She quickly pulled that hand to look at what he had put on it. Her eyes met that of a twinkling star on a gold band. Roy took her hand in his and started kissing each finger. She could feel him smile against them. After kissing all of them, he took her hand and placed it on his chest, where his heart was.

"Will you, Riza Hawkeye, marry a lazy, womanizing, and _sometimes_ useless me?"

"Ah, so you finally admit that you, too, can be useless. I was wondering how long it would take for you to admit it."

"Riza, your answer," Roy whined.

"Of course, it's yes." Roy had just been made the happiest man in the world. Well, the second happiest. Maes beats him because no one can be as happy as that man, but Roy was pretty close. He began planting kisses all over her face and neck. Riza had to grab his face and pull his lips into a passionate kiss to stop his assault. When she broke the kiss, she couldn't help but smile up at him which was mirrored on Roy's face. Her right hand went to wipe his bangs away to better see his eyes which proved futile since they moved back into his face. Then her arms wrapped around his neck pulling Roy into a hug. "I love you and only you."

"Really?" Roy said as he reversed their position. "I would have thought you loved your grandfather. And what about Black Hayate? The pup will be sad to find out that his mommy doesn't love him."

"Haha, very funny," Riza replied sitting up. Her hands were placed on Roy's chest while his were on her hips. She had to move around a bit to better situate herself on Roy. It could definitely be seen on Roy's face that he was enjoying her movements. The smirk was a big give away. It was also clear on his face that he had something perverted running through his mind. "You know I love them, too. I'm just _in love_ with you and only you."

"And the same goes for me." His hands start running up and down her sides. He earned a slight glare when he hands came dangerously close to her chest. Soon his hands left her body to play with her hands, paying special attention to her left hand. "Do you like the ring?"

"Yes, it's perfect. I don't think it will interfere with my shooting."

"I should have guessed that you would say something like that."

"Well, I am me. Let me guess. Your grandmother's?"

"Right as usual. She gave it to me when I turned 18. Said to give it to the one I love when I wanted to marry her. Afterwards she told me to make her some great-grandchildren."

"She sounds like my grandfather," Riza laughed. "Well, you're going to marry the one you love so that half is done."

"And children?"

"I do want them but after we've fixed the government. I wouldn't want our children to grow up in such a corrupted country."

"Same here."

"So as for the wedding, we can't plan anything until after you're Fuhrer and have gotten rid of the fraternization rule."

"Aw, I was hoping to plan the honeymoon, too," Roy said with a perverted smirk.

"Really? I was thinking that we could just skip that step and do the whole celibacy thing." Riza was certain that Roy had stopped breathing. His face had paled enough to prove him a corpse. And his eyes had grown as big as saucers. In addition, his hands were frozen in time wrapped around her own hands. No sound had exited his mouth as it was opened in shock. She gave a laugh before she bent down to kiss him. "I was only kidding."

"You're mean," Roy said after recovering from the shock.

"You can plan where we go. I'll plan what we do that night."

That pervert look appeared on his face once again. He could only dream of what she would do to him that night. A pinch to his face brought him from some great thoughts. Those thoughts were deemed dangerous places when he caught a glimpse of the message Riza's face was sending him if he continued to think those thoughts, at least in her presence. His hands went back to running up and down her side. Riza stiffened up when his right hand touched a sensitive spot on her side. He would have found it earlier if his hands hadn't stayed so close to her chest. Riza looked down at him to find a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"Hmm, can it be that my Riza is ticklish?"

"No," Riza squeaked out when he touch the spot again. Finding that she was caught, Riza bolted from Roy's body and started running away. Roy immediately got to his feet and started chasing her. Unlike the water fight they had earlier, Roy had managed to catch her. She was trying to back away from him as he continued to tickle attack her sides. Her face were starting to flush as she began to laugh so hard. Deciding that she had enough, Riza started tickling Roy. She had managed to turn the table. Roy was now backing up to avoid her hands, laughing the entire time. Slipping on his jacket, he went tumbling down into the sea of flowers, but not before grabbing Riza and pulling her down with him. Petals and gold dust flew into the air when they made contact with the ground. They laughed for a few more minutes before it settled into a comforting silence. Both laid there cuddling close to each other. Riza was busy staring at her engagement ring while Roy stroked her hair. "Roy?"

"Yes?" Roy replied.

"I can't wear this ring" Riza sat up and removed the ring from her finger. Roy immediate sat up and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. Too many things were running through his mind. '_This can't be happening. She can't be leaving me again. I'm going marrying her. Why does she keep doing this to me?"_ He was brought back to reality when felt Riza laughing against his chest. She pulled away from him, smiling. "Maybe I should reword it so that you don't freak out anymore. I can't wear this ring on my finger. The higher-ups would definitely know something is going on."

"Right," Roy chuckled as he buried his face in her shoulder.

Roy should have known that she wasn't calling off the engagement. She was just being practical. The higher-ups would suspect something was going on if his first lieutenant had suddenly showed up with an engagement ring especially since they knew their 'relationship' was different from other superiors and their subordinates. Once again, he felt Riza's arms wrap around his neck followed by her body leaning into him.

"Roy, you don't need to worry. We will get married one day, so no more of those bad thoughts about me leaving you."

"I know. As for the ring problem, I already have a solution for it. With my mind being put through a grinder I had forgotten about it. I knew that you wearing it on your finger would raise suspicions, so I had things planned ahead."

"What do you have in mind?"

Roy unwillingly moved out of Riza's embrace and grabbed his nearby jacket. After a thorough search through every pocket, he finally found what he wanted. He took her engagement ring and slid it down onto a gold chain. Then he clasped it around her neck. His fingers trailed down the chain until it reached the ring at the bottom. They played with it for a few seconds before letting it rest against Riza's chest. She eyed him a bit when she noticed the length of time it took for him to let go when he placed it against her chest, but decided not to kill him for being a man especially since he was hers.

"There. It won't be seen when you wear your uniform. And you can wear it under your shirt when you're in your civilian clothes."

"Perfect. I won't ever have to take it off until I can finally wear it on my finger." Roy laid back down in the bed of flowers, pulling Riza with him. She went down with no protest. Wrapping an arm around her, Roy pulled her closer to him. Riza laid her head on his chest and snuggled closer to him. He knew that she was cold from her attempt to meld her body with his so he used his jacket as a blanket for the two of them. It was actually comfortable to sleep in a field of flowers. It was romantic as sleeping on rose petals except without the clean up. They spent the next couple of minutes enjoying each other's company until Riza decided to break the silence. "Roy, when did you know that you were in love with me?"

"When I first met you in Ishbal."

"Was that before or after I knocked you out for grabbing my butt?"

"After," Roy laughed. He was forever going to remember his first meeting with Riza. Of course, they didn't know who each other were at the time. Roy had just gotten off the transport truck. Being the ladies man, he decided that he should better acquaint himself with the female personnel. Riza just happened to be the first that he came across. She had punched him in the face when he had overzealously patted her behind, or in better words got a handful of it, when he was trying to flirt with her. In the end, she had to drag his body to the infirmary and sit beside him until he woke up. It was during his unconscious state that she found out who he was. She quickly apologized when he woke up and properly introduced herself. Roy just as quickly waved off her apology and apologized for his rash behavior. Afterwards he commented on her right hook. From there, their relationship started. "When I woke up to your amber eyes."

"Sorry I punched you so hard."

"I deserved it. Who would have thought that my first wound during the war would have happened before I even got on the battlefield and from a subordinate?"

"Well, the other alchemists did have a good time making fun of that black eye I gave you."

"I never heard the end of it from Kimbley. He wouldn't shut up over the fact that a single punch from a girl knocked me out cold. Oh well, I guess I should be glad that you didn't use your gun on me and might I say that it was well worth the black eye."

"And just because we're engaged now doesn't mean that you can grab my butt anytime that you want. So remove it."

"You're no fun."

"Not on the chest, Roy!"

"What? You said I couldn't put it on your butt. You didn't say where else I couldn't put it."

"Maybe we should do the whole celibacy thing after all."

Roy quickly moved his hand to her waist. He wasn't sure if she was joking or not, but he didn't want risk his chance of being intimate with Riza. She didn't need to threaten to break his hand now. She could hold the whole sex issue over him. And she knew that he would always cave into whatever demand she had. Tonight, Roy would have to just settle with rubbing her back.

"So Riza when did you first fall in love with me?"

"When you first started staying the night with me in the infirmary after I got shot."

"I remember those nights. We always played chess together."

"Well, there wasn't much I could do with one arm, and they wouldn't let me clean my gun."

"If I remember correctly, you always beat me. But I guess you are your grandfather's granddaughter after all, seeing that he always beat me as well."

"He did teach me how to play."

"You could have let me win once and a while."

"Says the man who begged to play strip chess even though you knew that you would lose. Those nurses were extremely happy that one night."

"Now don't deny that you didn't enjoy seeing me wear nothing but my gloves."

"You would have lost those gloves if Gran hadn't come to get you. Although you did forget that you were completely naked when you saluted him. I remember some of the nurses fainting as well as the look on Gran's face. Then there was the look on your face when you realized it."

"I'm never going to live that one down either, will I?"

"At least you were popular with all the female personnel."

"The only female I wanted to get better acquainted with was you but you didn't seem interested in me."

"Well, I was busy trying to keep you alive, and I did have a promise to keep. Also you were my superior after all."

"That's not stopping you now."

"I figured I'd follow my heart this time around."

"Good choice. Although if you had followed your heart back then, we probably would have already been married with some kids. I was going to propose to you at the end of the war but you had to go and make that promise."

"But if I hadn't made that promise and became your wife back then, I wouldn't have been able to protect you through all the years. You may not be here now without me behind you ever step of the way."

"You're right. Enough of the past, we have a future to look forward to."

Riza agreed and moved closer to him, if that was even possible. Roy situated the jacket so that it was covering Riza more than it was on him. He at least had on long sleeves as opposed to her vest. Besides, he was a gentleman. They stayed like that for who knows how long but it must have been late because it had gotten extremely cold and dark. Roy figured it was time to go. And besides, the guys were suppose to be at the room by midnight or else they were going to be locked out. According to Roy's watch it was an hour and a half 'til the assigned time.

"Riza, I think it's time that we go." There was silence. Roy pushed her hair behind her ears before slightly shaking her shoulder. There was no noise, no movement, or attempt to shoot him. Roy quickly concluded that Riza had fallen asleep. Carefully, he slid out from under her, making sure not to disturb her sleep. He smiled a bit at the peaceful face she had as she slept. For some reason, he couldn't help but run his fingers through her hair. After readjusting his jacket, he stood up and made his way over to the pond. Once there he put his socks and shoes back on. Before going back to Riza, he made sure to grab her heels. He couldn't help but smile down at her as he kneel next to her sleeping body. "Sweet dreams, Sweetheart."

After planting a kiss on the edge of her mouth, Roy slid his arms under her body and legs. Before lifting her up, he made adjustments to his jacket so it wouldn't fall off and so that she was kept warm. Slowly he made his way through the woods and back to the car.

* * *

Probably had you going in the beginning didn't I? I know that was cruel to Roy; but since I tortured everyone in the last chapter, I figured it was Roy's turn. I'll make it up to him. Anyways, since school is starting again my updates may be a bit slow but hopefully not like when my arm was broken. Next chapter: Roy's date with a dog. See Ya! 


	15. Chapter 15

It seems that I have thoroughly shocked and scared a lot of you with the last chapter. My bad for those who had a heart attack or freak out but it seemed appropriate at the time. Riza was going to make our favorite playboy work for her love, and it doesn't hurt to be absolutely sure when it involves the heart. That's my explanation for why I did what I did in the last chapter. Anyways, this chapter is an interesting one. I find myself thinking 'Where the hell did this idea come from?' right now. So without further ado, Roy's date with a dog.

* * *

After returning to his car and driving it for thirty minutes, Roy finally made it back to Riza's room. It took some of Roy's balancing skills to unlock and open Riza's door while carrying her, her heels, her purse, and Hayate's food. He was glad that he took out her room key before carrying her up to her room. He didn't want to think about how he would get her keys out of her purse while trying not drop and wake her. Upon opening the door, they were immediately greeted by Hayate. After noticing the state of his mommy, he quickly quieted down. Roy walked into the room towards the bed to lay Riza. He couldn't help but feel that he was carrying his bride over the threshold, which he hoped in his mind that he wouldn't have to wait so long to actually do. After placing Riza down, he turned around to close the door only to find that Hayate had already closed it for them. And that said pup was patiently sitting in front of it, waiting for him to lock it. 

Hayate had followed Roy after the door was locked. He sat down near the bed while Roy was tending to some little businesses. Roy was busy making Riza comfortable. He removed his jacket from around her body and draped on her chair. The other objected that were currently on the bed were immediate put on the floor. Upon seeing the heels, Hayate took them in his mouth by the straps and dragged them to the closet. Roy watched as the pup did this. '_It's like having your own little live-in maid.'_ When Hayate returned he went for the purse next. He pulled it up to the small table in the room. It was too high for him to put the purse on it even with a chair there, which was too high for his little body to jump on anyways. He gave Roy a look. Roy got the hint and put the purse on the table.

"Good boy, Hayate," Roy said as he scratched the puppy's head. He stood up and walked back to Riza with Hayate following behind him. Standing at the bed, Roy couldn't help but think about how beautiful Riza was as he looked down at her. Her arms were raised up near her head, her hair was spread out across the pillow, her lips parted as she quietly breathed through them, and he loved how her chest slowly rose and fell with every intake and outtake of air. At the moment he wanted to crawl in bed with her but there were other things to do first. He had a promise to keep to Hayate, and he just couldn't let Riza go to sleep in those clothes that she was wearing. They would be wrinkled by the time she woke up. And because they were their first date outfits, Roy thought that they should be perfectly preserved for future memories. So he sat down next to her and began to softly shake her. "Riza, wake up. You need to change into your pajamas."

"Mmm….go ahead," Riza said as she moved around a bit.

Riza still hadn't woke up by the sound of things, and Roy's mind had just been thrown in the gutter while at the same time his nose threatened to bleed. '_Don't tell me she wants me to do what I think she means. Go for it. Hey, I thought I was rooting for this relationship. Why are you so for it now? It's because he's a pervert. I should have known your mind was like that.'_ Roy quickly got out of the gutter when he noticed that he was subconsciously talking with his heart and mind again. It wouldn't do for Riza to think that he was crazier than what she already thought. A gentle tugging on his pants leg brought his attention down to the ground where Hayate had magically appeared with Riza's pajamas.

"You two are definitely on the same wavelength," Roy said as he picked up the pieces of fabric. Then a thought donned on him. If Riza was always on his wavelength and Hayate was on hers, did that mean that the pup was on his as well? He quickly shook the thought that a certain dog knew what ran through his mind out. It was a bit creepy to him, and he had other things on his mind. After laying the clothes down near him, he scooted closer to Riza ready to begin his task. He took a large gulp as he placed his hands on the bottom button of her vest. "Here we go."

Cautiously, Roy began unbuttoning Riza's vest while trying to keep his perverted thoughts at bay. She just had to have an immaculate and perfect body. Roy was certain that he was going to get shot at if she woke up but at least he would die a happy man. Once he was done unbuttoning, he pushed the flaps back to reveal her body and skin. Those thoughts threatened to invade his mind as he looked over her body. There wasn't a single scar on her body, at least from what he could tell. And the sight of her bra was beginning to overload his mind. '_Never would have guessed that she would wear something so lacy. Hmm…I wonder what her underwear looks like. Maybe if I-don't you even dare, you pervert.' _One of his hands found its way to her stomach. He smiled as Riza let out a sigh when his hand was splayed across it. His hand was removed and replaced with featherlike kisses. Those were stopped when he cause sight of her engagement ring on her chest. His head rested against her stomach staring at it until his hand grabbed it. His fingers played with it for a few seconds while at the same time they dancing across her skin. These touches earned him a sigh and for one of Riza's hands to land on her stomach. But because Roy's head was there, it ran through his hair before resting on the back of his neck. Roy removed the hand from his neck, and after kissing its palm he placed it back near her head.

Once that was done, he moved further up her body. The ring was pushed aside onto the waves of blonde near them. He laid his head down on her chest after giving her heart a kiss. His ear listened to one of the most beautiful sounds coming from her. Soon his eyes closed as he felt and heard the thumping of Riza's heart against his ear. His eyes opened a few minutes later to the sound of something scraping across wood. He stared at the walled with his head still in place, trying to figure out what it was. That question was soon answered when two white paws came into his view followed by a head.

Hayate was dangling on the edge of Riza's bed, trying to get on it to figure out what his daddy was doing. Roy, for a second, thought that Hayate was raising an eyebrow at him as the pup gave a look that said "What do you think you're doing to my mommy?" while trying not fall. His attempt to stay there was futile because he lost his grip and went to the ground with a thud. But that wasn't going to stop him. He ran and jumped for the bed again. In the end, Roy had to pick him up and place him on the bed. Once on the bed, Hayate immediately went to Riza and started nuzzling her neck.

"Hayate," Riza whispered out as her hand began to stroke his fur.

Roy was feeling a tang of jealous towards Hayate. One little touch from the pup and Riza was calling for him. Roy had been leaving kisses all over her and only received some sighs. He wanted his name to leave Riza's lips as she slept. He pushed back his jealousy. It was silly to be jealous of a little four-legged creature that could probably sit in his hand, but still Roy couldn't help it.

After ushering Hayate away, Roy pulled Riza into a sitting position. He leaned her body against his, letting her head rest against his shoulder. His hands went to her shoulders, pushing the fabric down her arms. The vest was dropped behind her but was immediately taken into Hayate's mouth. The pup jumped off the bed and ran for the bathroom. He later returned and waited for the next article of clothes. Roy chuckled a bit. Little maid indeed. He was brought back to the body leaning against him when he felt arms wrap around his neck. Riza was still asleep which meant she was subconsciously moving around to get comfortable with Roy. He, at the moment, relished in the feeling of her skin against his hands as he returned the embrace. One hand trailed up and down her spine, causing her bury her face in his neck. He smiled at the reaction and soon began rubbing her back. His hands seemed to linger close to the back of her bra. One quick snap and it would be off, but Roy knew he shouldn't do such things. That still didn't mean that he wasn't going to stop caressing her back. He began kissing along her neck to shoulder as his hands tried to remember every part of her skin with the exception of certain forbidden places. His actions were stilled when Hayate started pulling on his pants again. The pup clearly wasn't happy that his mommy wasn't in her pajamas. He didn't want her to get cold.

Roy complied with Hayate's silent demand and unwillingly removed Riza's arms from his neck to put the pajama top on her. He brought the top behind her and grabbed one her arms, putting it in the correct sleeve. He followed suit with the other arm. After sliding her arms into the sleeves, he laid her back down onto the bed. Then he proceeded to button up the shirt, leaving kisses along the way. Once that was done, all that was left to do was put the bottom half on. He thought it was better and safer if he just slid it on underneath her skirt. He had managed to get it up to her thighs before his hands stilled. '_When the hell did she strap a gun to her leg? I don't remember finding one when we were playing earlier. There should only be the one around her hip. Great, now I'm going to be wondering about this all night.'_ Cautiously, he wrapped both hand around that leg and started feeling around for the buckle. At the same time he was trying to refrain from thinking impure thoughts about his girlfriend. It definitely wouldn't do for her wake up right now. He was extremely nervous when that thought came in. And it was helping that Hayate was growling at him. It definitely didn't help that Hayate was sitting right next to his leg ready to clamp his teeth down on it if Roy did something improper to the woman. His mouth was already open and mere centimeters away from his leg.

After some nerve wrecking minutes, Roy had managed to get the holster off. It was set to the side so Roy could continue his job of getting Riza completely ready for bed. He slid the pants the rest of the way up her body where Roy, of course, was greeted with her hip holster. After removing that, he took off her skirt. He handed it to Hayate who took it to the bathroom. Roy decided to put her guns a safe distance her so they laid on the table with her purse. Well, at least he knew where three out of thirty-one of her guns were in the room. After tucking her in, he sat there staring at her. Riza had moved onto her side and Roy had inclined himself to rub her back as he sat there. It wasn't until he had a sinking feeling that someone was watching over him that he broke away from her face. Instead of finding a criminal staring at him, he found Hayate sitting on the floor with the bag in his mouth ready for their date, tail thumping against the hardwood floors.

"I didn't forget, Hayate," Roy said as he stood up. "Just let me change and get everything ready for the others first."

Roy went into the bathroom to change. Actually he didn't know why he was going into the bathroom the change. Riza was already asleep and Hayate was the only other living thing in the room. He couldn't be embarrassed to get undressed in front of a puppy. He pushed that out of his mind and began stripping down to his boxers. After folding his clothes, he laid them on the hamper in there. It was then he noticed the height of the hamper. '_How the hell did Hayate get her clothes in there if he can barely reach the bed? That is one weird dog and well trained, too.'_ He made his way out the bathroom to find Hayate pulling a pillow onto a messily spread out quilt. '_Really well trained.'_ Roy stood against the bathroom's doorframe for a few minutes watching Hayate's attempt to get things ready. After deeming that Hayate had done enough, he walked into the room and straightened everything up. So now everything was perfect for the others to sleep on later as well ready for their dinner date.

Hayate had gone back into the closet to bring out a bag of silverware for Roy to use. By then Roy had napkins placed on the quilt that had little appetizers on them. After placing the bag of silverware in Roy's hand, Hayate made his way back into the closet to retrieve his food bowl. After that was done, he went and got his water bowl. Roy went and filled it up with water after he placed the piece of steak he brought for the dog in his food bowl. Once everything was set, Roy and Hayate sat across from each other with food between them. Neither made a move to eat. Roy was feeling kind of stupid to be having a date with his girlfriend's dog while Hayate was waiting for Roy to do something.

Roy only figured out what Hayate wanted him to do when the dog kept looking back and forth between him and the steak. Grudgingly, Roy picked up his knife and fork and began cutting the steak into little pieces for Hayate to eat albeit difficult with the steak being in a dog bowl. '_Spoiled mutt.' _Once that was done and he remember that he didn't have to do his tricks, Hayate began sensibly eating the steak. Getting a bit more comfortable, Roy finally joined in on the date. He popped an appetizer in his mouth and started chewing.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Roy said after he finished chewing. To his surprise, Hayate started softly yipping at him. He eyed the little dog who in return cocked his head. Hayate broke their staring contest to take another piece of meat into his mouth. After he finished it, he started softly yipping again. The yips were low enough not to wake up his mommy. "You like that, don't you?"

Hayate answered with another yip before resuming his dinner. Roy smiled at the dog before popping another appetizer into his mouth. Throughout the date, Hayate continued to yip about the dinner and whatever else popped into his little mind while Roy nodded or said something to answer the pup's yips. It took a few minutes for the gears in his head to turn and for him to notice that he was having a conversation with a puppy. Guess they were on the same wavelength after all. By that time most of the food was already gone. All that was left were some appetizers. Hayate seemed to enjoy the ones that had little pieces of shrimp in them. Roy had to refrain from making a joke about Ed when the word shrimp entered his mind. They continued to eat until there was only one piece of food was left.

The two of them stared at each other trying to figure out who would get the last piece. Hayate should have been the one get it since Roy already had dinner with Riza but he was a good dog who always put others before him like his mommy did. He gently nudged the appetizer closer to Roy with his nose. Roy almost immediately pushed it back towards Hayate with his finger. It wasn't that Roy was a gentleman rather it was that he wasn't going to eat it after Hayate's nose had just touched it. Hayate quickly got the hint that it was his to eat and took it into his mouth. Then he downed a couple of licks of water from his bowl. He sat back up licking the remaining water off his mouth. He looked up at Roy with a quizzical look before pushing his water bowl to him. Roy could clearly be seen sweatdropping.

"I'm fine, Hayate," Roy said trying not to show his weirdness of this situation. Hayate started yipping a thanks to Roy before taking one of his bowls in his mouth and walking to the bathroom. Roy, not being that stupid, figured out that it was clean up time. He picked up the other bowl and the silverware that he used to cut the steak and followed behind him. When he walked in, Hayate was in the shower stall emptying the bowl of the water. Roy decided to leave the dog alone since it seemed that the pup knew what to do. Roy busied himself with cleaning the bowl and silverware in his hands. When he turned around after the cleanup, he nearly tripped over Hayate. The pup was trotting his way over to the trashcan near the sink with the doggy bag in his mouth. Roy looked out the bathroom to find the quilt clean of their little dinner. '_Smart dog. Probably smarter than my merry band of idiots or better known as my subordinates with the exception of Riza.'_ It made him wonder how the dog knew what to do. Then he wondered how the dog got the napkins in the bag without spilling any crumbs onto the quilt. There was a slight feeling of resentment that the dog was cleaner than him. He pushed all of these feelings and thoughts out of his mind when he remember whose dog this was. "Come on, boy. We've got some time before the others get here."

Hayate immediately bound over to Roy. He nearly knocked him flat on his back when he jumped on him. His tongue immediately lashed out to lick Roy's face. His little tail waggled as he tried to get closer to Roy. Said man was trying his best to get the dog away from his face but couldn't since the pup had hooked his nails in the shirt he was wearing. In the end, Roy gave up, laid his head back on a pillow, and allowed Hayate to have his fun. After some time Hayate finally released his shirt, laying down on his chest. Roy looked up after he noticed the absence of a tongue on his face. Hayate stared back at him with sad, little, brown eyes. '_Don't you want to play with me, Daddy?'_ Roy sighed as he fell for those puppy eyes of his again. His hand went to scratch Hayate behind the ear. Sitting back up, Roy start tickling Hayate's sides. The pup started barking but stopped when Roy removed his fingers. Roy didn't want Hayate to wake up Riza, so he decided to play something else that wouldn't result in a barrage of lead if things got too intense.

After playing for what seemed like hours, Roy was extremely tired while Hayate was still full of energy. Roy laid on his stomach trying to get some of his energy back while at the same time try to stay away to let the others in when they arrived. He flinched a bit when he felt a small weight on his back. He quickly relaxed when he figured it was only Hayate. His body began to relax more when he felt Hayate apply pressure to the tense muscles on his back. He let out a sigh as Hayate continued his poking. '_I really need to talk to Riza about this. Who would have guessed that the pup knew how to give massages? And some good ones too. Now I'm wondering what else Riza has taught him.'_ He was brought out of his paradise by a knocking on the door. Groaning, he got up to answer to let in who he knew to be the others. Hayate following alongside him to the door. Roy opened the door expecting to see three, possibly four men standing in front of him. Instead he and Hayate were greeted by three women and a man. Roy couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing at the moment. Wasn't it enough that he had just had a date with a four-legged fur ball?

"This can't be happening. You four can be standing in front of me like that."

* * *

Umm...yeah. I think my mind has been a little off this week. I think it's because of all the other stories I have brewing in my head. There's like seven different stories up there. Anyways, it seems that I'm back to my regular writing length, though I don't how long that will last. Next chapter will be funny and some questions will probably be answered. I haven't completely thought it out yet. Well, see ya! 


	16. Chapter 16

I didn't really think that it was hard to figure out who the four people were but some of you just couldn't figure it out. Oh well. Yes, Hayate is smart and he's going to get even smarter in the next couple of chapters. On with the story!

* * *

"Why are you all still wearing those clothes?" Roy said as he stepped aside to let them in. 

"What, they're comfortable," Havoc said as he sat down on the quilt. Fuery, Falman, and Breda sat down on the ground with him. They must have still been in women mode because everyone dressed as a woman was sitting on the back of their legs. After Roy locked the door, he joined them with a somewhat shocked face. He noticed that the others were sitting a distance away from Havoc. "Besides all our clothes are still wet from the water pipe incident."

"The military had our clothes cleaned today. How do you think I was able to wear what I'm wearing now? They're being held at the uniform storage building until the pipes are fixed."

"Why the hell didn't we know about this?"

"Actually, I knew about it," Falman stated. "It's how I got my disguise."

"Why didn't you tell us about it?"

"I thought you knew. They sent a memo out."

"I never got one."

"It must have been when we went make-up stealing," Breda said looking around the room.

"And probably after I was kidnaped," Fuery added.

"So the three of you have been dressed as women for the pass couple of hours," Roy nearly laughed out. "This is too good. What have you all been doing?"

"We've actually been bar hopping," Havoc said as he removed his wig. Breda and Fuery did as well. "Man. The guys there must have been blind. I mean I look good for a woman. I was kind of expecting to be hit on."

"I don't know what's worse, you enjoying women's clothes or you wanting to be hit on by a _man_."

"I'd take the latter, sir," Falman commented as the others nodded their heads in agreement. "Though I wouldn't worry about Havoc state of mind right now. He's just mad that all the attention was used on Fuery. I had to protect the poor man the whole time."

"Fuery?" Roy said with disbelief as he looked at the blushing lad to his right.

"Yes," Fuery shyly said. He was feeling a bit awkward at the moment, more than when there were men hanging all over him. Luckily for him, Falman had made it his responsibility to protect him, although it was by telling the other men that he was his date. "They kept asking me for my phone number. I was just glad they stopped after Breda stepped in."

"What happened?" Roy asked Breda.

"Well, when it looked like Falman was being overwhelmed with the amount of guys trying to get to Fuery I told the whole bar to leave him alone."

"And that stopped them?"

"After I beat the crap out of five of them, they did."

"Which only happened after they called him a fat piece of lard," Fuery said as he put his own glasses on.

"I'm not fat only big boned. Besides they deserved it. They shouldn't be calling a pregnant woman fat, the nerve of them."

"Okay, I've had enough," Roy said trying to suppress his laughter. "Why don't you use Riza's bathroom to change or at least take off the make-up so I don't keel over with laughter?"

"Umm…sir," Fuery hesitantly began. "I have a little problem with that."

"What, Fuery?"

"Well, you see, the lieutenant colonel got some help from 2nd Lieutenant Beka Alice and Sergeant Rhia Aerin for my transformation. And all of their dresses were well above the knee. There was a problem with that in my department. My boxers were longer than the dress so they made me wear…some panties they brought along."

Roy immediately covered Havoc's and Breda's mouths. If he had a third hand, he would have covered Falman's but he didn't need to worry too much about that man since he had more restraint than the other two. Havoc and Breda were weakly protesting to the hand on their mouths. They were too busy laughing at Fuery's admission. Falman was slightly snickering. He probably knew what would happen if he was laughing like the others so he stifled it as best he could. Fuery was sitting there full of embarrassment, looking down at the ground.

"Don't laugh at Fuery," Roy calmly said as he slightly tightened his grip on their mouths. "It's not his fault. If you pick on him about this, then I'll barbeque all of you. Beside Riza is asleep right now. If you wake her up, she'll shoot you…and me. Then I'll toast you. Got it?"

All of them nodded. Roy only let go when he was certain that they had their laughter under control. Then he went into Riza's closet where he pulled out a pair of boxers and a T-shirt, most likely from a mission he had with Riza. They were handed to Fuery who was extremely grateful for them.

"Sir, what have you and the lieutenant been doing after you escaped from Lieutenant Colonel Hughes and the rest of us?" Fuery said.

"We didn't do much."

"Really?" Havoc said with a raise eyebrow. "But you must have done something to tire her out already. Come on, you can tell us."

"Havoc, you pervert, we didn't do anything like that. We spent our time alone stargazing, then we came back here. Oh, and Fuery, I'm sorry about the kiss."

"It's okay," Fuery said slightly blushing. "I'll get over it in a couple of weeks."

"Before I forget, did you get the pictures developed?"

"Yeah, yeah," Havoc said as he tossed him an envelope of pictures. "We've got pictures of the walk in the park with your girlfriend and Fuery's kiss with Hughes. Al has the pictures from the restaurant. Ed went to remove him from the restaurant wall. You'll get them tomorrow. So do you want to tell us why you wanted pictures of that traumatizing date?"

"I'll tell you a little later," Roy said as he looked through the pictures. "I have something planned for Maes."

"Anyway, I'll go change," Fuery said as he stood up. "If that's fine with everyone else."

"Go ahead, Fuery," Havoc said with a wave of the hand.

As soon as Fuery had completely closed the door, the others surrounded Roy. They all wanted to know what really happened between Roy and Riza. The man was honestly telling the truth when he said that they were stargazing. He just didn't tell them about the other things that happened. By the look of things, he wasn't going to. He was saved when a black blur shot out from under the bed heading for Breda. Falman caught Hayate midair as Breda was jumping onto the table with Roy following behind to stifle any screams that would come out of him.

"Keep that beast away from me," Breda said as calmly as he could. Sensing that Breda wasn't going to scream, Roy sat back down with the others. Hayate was content to sit on Falman's lap and be petted by him. "How can you all be near that monster? Look at how evil that thing is."

They all looked at the pup who was on his back in Falman's lap. His tail was wagging to and fro as his tongue hung out the side of his mouth. His leg twitched every so often when Falman rubbed his belly. To Roy and the others, it was one of the cutest things they had ever seen, though they would never openly admit it. Had to protect their pride which wasn't much after what they did a few hours ago.

"Seriously, Breda, how can you be afraid of Hayate?" Havoc said making himself more comfortable. He had made his way out of woman mode and into lazy guy mode. His mind showed no sign of working as he laid his body on the quilt because he didn't take into account his clothing with the position he was in. Breda had moved to sit in the chair after feeling Riza's guns underneath him. "He's just a little puppy. I doubt he'd break the skin if he bit you."

"I can confirm that," Roy said. "My hand has become his favorite chew toy."

"He probably has a good reason for it," Havoc said looking at Roy with a smirk. "You probably put you hands where they shouldn't have been, just like last night."

"That was an accident, and I've kept my hands in the proper places."

"Anyway, I'll be going now," Breda said as he stepped off the chair and made his way around everyone to the door. Hayate had seen the movement and was trying to break away from Falman to jump on the man. No one could figure out why the pup had a soft spot for Breda. Then again, he did get along with almost everyone. "You don't need me here anymore. I'll go sleep in Edward's room now."

"Don't you want to change out of that dress first?" Falman said as he tightened his grip on the puppy.

"I'll be fine."

Breda walked out of the room and made his way to Edward's room. When he left, Hayate stopped his squirming and settled back into Falman's lap. He was a very weird dog. A few minutes later Fuery walked out of the bathroom sporting Roy's T-shirt and boxers. The boxers were slipping down a bit since they were too big for him. He had to hold them up with one hand. The shirt was big for his body as well. It covered a good portion of the undergarment.

"Where's Breda?" Fuery asked as he looked around the room.

"He left already," Falman said as Hayate pried out of his arms and bounced over to Fuery. He scratched the man's leg to receive a pat on the head. The two of them made their way over to join the rest. Hayate immediately jumped into Fuery's lap when the man sat down. "He couldn't stand being in a room with Hayate."

"Oh. Well, the bathroom is free."

"I'll go," Falman said getting up and going into the bathroom.

The others continued with their conversation. After a while, Fuery noticed something about Havoc. The man was laying in the same position for the past ten minutes. He was stretched out on his side with his head propped by one of his hands. His right leg was bent up. It was because his leg was bent that Fuery had noticed something awkward about him. He could see how smooth Havoc's leg was. It was much like his except he probably didn't have them waxed.

"Havoc?" Fuery asked.

"Yeah?" Havoc lazily replied.

"Did you go commando on this date? It doesn't look like you're wearing any boxers."

The three of them looked to Havoc's legs. There was a look of disgust on Roy's and a look of embarrassment on Havoc and Fuery. The slit on the skirt was on the right side so the flaps fell from the leg, revealing his bare leg. If he had worn boxers, they would have been seen through the skirt. It was possible that he may have worn briefs that night although somewhere in that mind of his, briefs didn't provide the comfort like boxers and he didn't have any in his possession. So there were only two other options for what he could have under that skirt. He either wore panties like Fuery did or there was nothing under it.

"Please do not tell me," Roy said trying to block all mental images trying to crawl into his mind.

"Don't have a stroke, Chief," Havoc said as he sat up. "I'm wearing boxers."

"But with a slit in your skirt, we'd be able to see it," Fuery pointed out.

"I scrunched the fabric up and used some string to hold it close to the waistband. I'd never go commando while wearing a skirt. Knowing my luck, I'd trip and cause some problems."

"And where did you get your outfits?" Roy said with some interest. "I know none of them belong to Riza."

"Breda and I stole them from the women's locker room. It was after some of their make-up was stolen so we had to be extra careful. We'll return them tomorrow."

"The lieutenant colonel stole the make-up," Fuery said to answer any questions they had running in their minds. "It was before he had help."

"Oh," Roy and Havoc said.

"In the end, we threw them out the window," Havoc continued. "We kept hearing noises, and we thought that someone was coming. The blame couldn't be put on us if we didn't have any evidence on us. At most, we would get slapped for being perverts. We went and got them after we left the locker room."

"But wait!" Fuery said. "Hughes said that he landed on you when the female officers threw him out the window after they caught him with their make-up. By that time, you should have been long gone."

"Yeah, we were but we forgot something. I had to go back and get it."

"What was it?"

"A bra. It was the bra that Breda was supposed to use for his disguise. Hughes landed on me when I was looking through the bushes."

"I guess that explains what happened while I was being held prisoner in the lieutenant colonel's room."

A few minutes later, Falman came out of the bathroom. Havoc took his turn while the others waited patiently for him to finish. By the time he came out, everyone was playing cards. Hayate had changed laps and was currently sitting in Roy's. It didn't take Havoc long to join in on the game. Right now, everyone was stripped of their disguises and in boxers and T-shirts. The disguises had been left in the bathroom. Riza's various bullets were used as poker chips since no one thought to bring those along.

"Fuery?" Roy asked.

"Yes, sir?"

"Do you know all of Hayate's tricks?"

"I know most of them. Why?"

"He's done some very complicated tricks for me while Riza was sleeping. I didn't think that he was that smart, and now I'm wondering what other tricks he can do."

"How smart is the pup, Chief?" Havoc said while he passed out the next hand of cards. "He seems like a normal puppy to me, besides being extremely obedient."

"Well, he knows how to clean up after himself."

"That's not much. What does he have to clean up, his toys?"

"No. He knows to dump his water bowl in the shower, put trash in the trash can, knows where to put Riza's clothes. I'm still trying to figure out how he put her clothes in the hamper. At this point, I'll say that he's smarter than Havoc...and cleaner."

"Hey!"

"What? It's the truth. Anyway, he also set up your makeshift bed. I had to smooth it out a bit but still. He did most of the work. But what was really strange was that he could give massages."

"Massages?" the others gaped.

"Yes, massages."

"Wow, I didn't know that Hayate was that smart," Fuery said with awe. "Lieutenant Hawkeye has only shown me what's considered normal tricks like sit, stay, and roll over."

"I wonder what else he can do."

They all looked at the pup laying down on Roy's lap. He had an innocent face on him. It was almost like he knew what they were talking about and was only pretending to be like other little puppies. They stared at him for a few seconds longer before returning back to their game. They would ask Riza about it tomorrow. The game continued well into the night, and it was only interrupted when Hayate let out a yawn.

"Sleepy, boy?" Fuery said as he petted the puppy.

"Why don't you go sleep with your mommy?" Roy said when the pup let out another yawn. Roy set down his cards and lifted Hayate onto the bed. Hayate sleepily made his way over to his mommy. The others watched with curiosity as Hayate took the edge of the blanket and pulled until it reached Riza's shoulder. After crawling under the blanket, he shimmed way into Riza's arms and fell asleep. The same thought went through everyone's mind after Hayate completed his task. "Told you he was smart."

"I just didn't think that he might possibly be smarter than me," Havoc said as he put an unlit cigarette in his mouth. "We are supposed to be at the top of the chain."

"Well, he is Lieutenant Hawkeye's dog," Fuery piped in.

After Hayate's show of intelligence or rather his show of compassion, Roy and the others went back to their card game. Everyone was doing about the same in terms of the amount and type of bullets they had. Roy had the most while Havoc had the least. That wasn't surprising. They were brought out of their game when some banging was heard on the door. Hayate immediately woke up when felt his mommy stir. After nuzzling her neck for a second, he jumped off the bed and bolted through his doggy door.

"Hi, Black Hay-ahhh! Get him off of me!"

"Hold still."

"Hayate, let go of my leg!"

"Don't try and kick him!"

"But his teeth hurt!"

* * *

There. Some questions are finally answered. What happened while Fuery was kidnaped? What the others did after Roy and Riza disappeared? What Havoc was looking for when Maes landed on him? But there are still plenty of questions still left unanswered. How Maes is going to find out? What else Maes is going to do? To who Maes made that phone call near the beginning? What will be General Grumman's role? And so much more. Until next time, see ya!


	17. Chapter 17

Yes, I think I have tortured Fuery enough. I'll lay off of him, at least in this chapter. So I'm going to have fun with another character. He hasn't been in the story much and to think he was the start of all of this. So enjoy the story!

* * *

"Get this blasted mutt off my leg!" 

"Quit being a baby. He's only a puppy."

"Well, he's not attached to your leg at the moment. He's on mine!"

Roy wasn't exactly surprised at the sight when he opened the door. He was just amazed that no one had woken up from the ruckus that was being created. It didn't ease his mind to think that these deep sleepers were protectors of the people. What would happen if there was a surprise night attack? Would they sleep through it? He pushed those thought to the back of his head for later dissection. There were others things he had to do tonight. He had to save someone from the evil clutches of a cute little puppy.

"I didn't think that something so _small _would be taken down by something a tenth his size" Roy smirked.

He was glad that Hayate had a firm grip on the leg because it prevented his victim from getting up off the ground and attacking him. So Roy leaned on the doorframe and continued to watch the spectacle on the floor. Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist, was sprawled out on the floor with Hayate attached to his right leg. It seemed that he was a true soldier after all with the types of words coming out of his mouth. Al had one hand around the puppy, trying to gently detach him from his brother's leg. He didn't want to hurt the puppy after all. In response to Al's pulling, Hayate sank his teeth deeper into Ed's flesh. He thrashed his head back and forth resulting in a hiss from his victim.

"Don't just stand there, Colonel Idiot," Ed shouted. "Get him off me."

"Well, you shouldn't have knocked so hard," Roy responded. "You woke him up."

"Please, Colonel," Al pleaded. "We're making a scene out here."

"Alright, since you asked so nicely, Alphonse. That's enough, Hayate." Hayate let go of Ed's leg after giving it another chomp. He bounced his way over to Roy and sat next to the man's legs. Roy bent down and gave him a scratch behind the ear for a job well done. Ed sat on the ground rubbing the area that was once under the torture of sharp teeth. He gave Hayate a glare which was responded with a growl and show of teeth before the pup went back to panting. '_Schizophrenic mutt.' _Ed thought as he continued to look at the pup. He was brought back to the real world when Al started moving. His armor was making as much noise as he was earlier. Said armor was apologizing for everything that was happening. "Enough of that, Alphonse. It's not your fault. That blame goes to your shrimpy brother."

"Who you calling a shri-" Ed began but was cut off when Al placed a hand over his mouth.

Al had also managed to get grab Ed before he had tried to jump Roy. At the same time, Roy had grabbed Hayate before the pup could jump Ed. The puppy sensed that Ed was going to attack his daddy so was ready to defend him. And since he was being held back now, all he could do was growl at Ed. After some time the two of them finally calmed down, and they were released from their captors' grips.

"Come in before someone sees you," Roy said as he stepped aside to let them in.

Ed walked in after Hayate had finally given him permission to. The pup kept his guard up around the small alchemist, but had quickly warmed up to the suit of armor. After Roy had closed the door and locked, he turned around to find Riza sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"Sorry if we woke you, Lieutenant Hawkeye," Al immediately apologized when he realized why Hayate really attacked his brother.

"Yeah, sorry," Ed honestly said.

"It's alright," Riza said after a quick yawn. "So what are you two doing here? It's late."

"We figured we'd go ahead and bring the pictures from the restaurant over."

"You could have done that tomorrow," Roy said as he joined the others in the game that Ed had interrupted. "And why are you still in disguise? There was plenty of time for you to change back."

"It took longer for me to get Al out of the restaurant wall. They were already closed when I went to get him so I had to sneak in. Then I couldn't remember which wall I had put him in. By the time I found him, it was already midnight."

"Brother…" Al began.

"I'm getting to it."

"What is it, Edward?" Riza asked.

"Well…we were wondering…if we could sleep here tonight."

"Why?" Roy questioned him. "You have a perfectly good room of your own."

"The room's fine. It's just the company. We were hoping to be out cold by the time Lieutenant Breda would get there. But since it took a while to find Al, he was already asleep when we got back."

"The room still shakes when he snores, doesn't it?" Havoc asked. "And a sock in the mouth doesn't work anymore."

"Right."

"I had the same problem when I use to share a room with him during our senior year at the academy, but it wasn't as bad as when Mustang had to share a room with the lieutenant colonel."

"Don't remind me, Havoc," Roy groaned. "I'm glad he got married right after he graduated. I didn't want to share an apartment with him."

"I actually liked my roommate my senior year," Riza stated. "I just wished he didn't keep bringing stray dogs into the room."

They watched as her eyes wandered over to look at Fuery who began blushing. All of them were in shock. Riza and Fuery had actually shared a room together. And no one knew about it. More surprising, Maes hadn't told Roy anything about it. It would have been even more surprising if Maes didn't know about it.

"You shared a room with Fuery!" Roy blurted out. "Why couldn't I be paired up with you?"

"You were a senior when I was a freshman so by the time I was a senior you were already gone. Also, we didn't know each other then. Besides whom in their right mind would pair you with a girl? Anyways, there were an odd number of girl and boy students that year so Fuery and I ended up together since we didn't mind who we were paired up with."

"So you've lived with Hawkeye for a year?" Havoc said to Fuery. "You must know some things about her that even Mustang doesn't know."

"Not really. Instead of sharing a room like the rest of the students, where it was just a bunk bed and desk, our place was more like a suite. I guess it was probably because of the lieutenant's grandfather, now that we know who he is. We had our own room which connected to a main room. I rarely saw her since I was a freshman at the time.The only time we really saw each other was when I asked her to tutor me in something. Besides she scared the crap out of me."

"Which means you can get those thoughts out of your head," Riza directed to Roy as she draped her arms around his neck. She was still sitting on the bed while everyone else was on the ground. Hayate was in Fuery's lap keeping an eye on Ed. "You're the only man I've ever shared a bed with. Besides my father and grandfather and that was when I was still a child."

Roy relaxed. He shouldn't have thought those things. It was Fuery after all. He was probably terrified of her the whole time anyways. Roy chuckled in his mind at the thought of Fuery cowering in a corner trying to hide a dog in his arms whenever Riza walked in the main room. It probably happened at least once.

"Umm…so is it alright if we stayed here tonight?" Al timidly asked, trying to get back to the original point of why they were there.

"Yeah, back to my question," Ed said.

"It's fine," Riza said.

"I'll just prop myself against the wall," Al said moved to sit against the wall next to the foot of the bed.

"And Edward with your size, there should be enough room for you to sleep on the quilt with the others," Riza stated. "You can discuss where on the quilt with them."

"Alright," Ed said as he looked as where he would be sleeping tonight. "Thanks for letting us stay. I don't think I can go another day on twenty minutes of sleep."

"Fullmetal," Roy began eyeing the boy. "Why aren't you ranting? Riza just said something about your height."

"Are you kidding me? She can put a bullet in my head before I can even transmute anything to defend myself with. Beside she didn't say anything about my height. She said something along the lines that I am thin enough to fit on the quilt with the other three. She's not a cocky ass bastard like you."

"Edward, why don't you use the bathroom to change back to normal and get ready for bed?" Riza said before Roy could say any crude remarks about Ed's height. She didn't need to have another battle in her room. And because she was the only brave one of her military group, she was most likely going to be the one to break them up. Ed had accepted her offer and went inside the bathroom. A few minutes later, he returned blond-haired and less clothed. Since he wasn't wearing his regular black outfit and red trench coat, he felt a bit out of his element in only a dress shirt and boxers even though everyone else was wearing similar things. In his hand was a small stack of pictures. They were most likely the ones from the restaurant. "Come here, Edward. I'll braid your hair."

"Alright." Ed said he went and sat down on the edge of the bed in front of Riza. He handed Roy the pictures once he was seated. Roy skimmed through them before placing them with the others. Riza was sitting Indian-style against the wall after she had gotten a brush and rubber band. Ed stiffened up when he felt her hands on his hip. Riza pulled Ed until he was almost sitting on her lap. Ed found himself sitting Indian-style as well while she began combing his hair. He relaxed a bit when he felt how gentle she was being with him. He also smirked when he noticed how Roy kept looking over his shoulder at them. "Jealous, Colonel? After all, I do have more hair than you."

"Girl," Roy muttered, but Ed heard it.

"Old man," Ed shouted.

Before either of them could launch into an attack, Riza smacked both of their heads with the brush. She did not feel like dealing with their antics this late at night. There was going to be hell to go through later. It was Saturday now. Which meant that it was Maes's birthday. They were going to need all their energy for that.

"No fighting in my room," Riza stated. "And Al, take that poor cat out of your body."

"Yes, ma'am," Al quickly said as he unhooked the front of his body. He made sure to avoid looking at his brother's face. It didn't take a genius to know that Ed was glaring at Al for taking in another stray. This had happened often enough. Al stuck his hand in and pulled out a gray kitty. "I couldn't leave her out there in the cold."

"Al…" Ed gritted out. "What did I say about taking in strays?"

"But brother."

"No."

"You're cold!"

"She can stay tonight but you'll have to find her a home tomorrow," Riza said before Al could burst into tears.

"Yes, ma'am," Al said happily as Ed sighed in defeat.

After a few more minutes, Riza was finished and Ed's hair was tightly braided. He was dismissed from the bed and allowed to join the others in the poker game. The game was started over so that everyone could begin with an equal amount of bullets. Al decided not to play poker with them but made sure to keep an eye on Ed. He knew how much of a cheater his brother was. He experienced it first hand. It just took him a while to figure it out. It seemed that Hayate had found a playmate in the kitty. The first thing the pup did was tackle it and roll around as they were tangled in each other's legs. Riza had decided to let Roy and the others continue to use her bullets after they promised to put them back exactly how they found them so she just sat on the bed and watched. Everyone once and awhile she would watch Al play with Hayate and the kitty.

"Edward?" Riza said to catch the boy's attention. Ed looked behind him at the sound of his name. "You missed eating your dessert at the restaurant, right?"

"Yeah."

"Are you still hungry?"

"When is he not?" Havoc commented.

"Yeah," Ed answered Riza as he gave a glare to Havoc.

"Then let me give you a treat for going through with the plan. I could tell you wanted to strangle some of the people there for their comments about your height, yet you managed to keep your composure."

"Okay."

Riza got off her bed and went into her closet. She emerged with a plate in one hand and a glass cup in the other. Walking around the others, she made her way back to Ed. She handed the cup to him first. Ed stared at the cup in his hand. He couldn't believe that she had actually gave him _that _to drink. Everyone knew his dislike of the thing, though they didn't really know why. He stared at it for a few more seconds before looking back up at her. Riza just had a little smile on her face as looked down at Ed.

"I'll give you the plate after you take a sip of it," Riza stated.

"But it's milk," Ed whined. "It tastes like vomit."

"Then I guess you don't want this," Riza said as sat down next Ed. She waved the plate in front him. She could easily tell that Ed really wanted it. The drooling was a big tip off. Seeing that Ed wasn't going drink any of the milk, she took the fork on the plate and pressed into the chocolate cake that had a double layer of chocolate icing. Taking a piece of cake into her mouth, she watched as Ed began to drool even more. She knew that he wasn't going to last much longer. Ed looked back and forth between the glass of icky milk and the plate of scrumptious cake. "Are you sure you don't want any? It's really good."

"One sip?" Ed firmly said.

"Yes, one sip and then you can have it."

"Fine."

Ed took a quick sip of the milk. He actually drank a little more than what he intended just to please Riza. She had done a lot for him without asking for much so he felt that it was only fair. Once he had swallowed the milk, which was done without making a face, Riza handed him the plate. He immediately took a bite of it. The taste made him feel like he was in heaven. It was that good. He thoroughly enjoyed the cake as well as have fun with the others. Much like he was when he first saw the cake, they were drooling waterfalls. He made sure to rub it in their faces especially Roy. Since they were sitting next to each other, Ed got up in Roy's face and put nearly half of the cake in his mouth. Roy was doing his best not attack the midget and steal the cake. Riza had resigned herself to sit on the bed and watch the show. Ed had ended up drinking more milk because of his taunt but the look on Roy's face was worth it. Ed finished the cake making sure to get all the frosting. He gave the rest of his milk to the cat before cleaning up. The dish and glass cup were placed back in the closet. Ed sat back in his seat with a proud smirk on his face.

"Fuery, your piece is in the closet," Riza said to break the tension between Ed and the others. It was more to break their concentration from whatever they were planning to doing to the young alchemist. "There's some milk in there, too."

Fuery's eyes lit up as he almost ran into the closet to retrieve his treat. He returned to his seat with his treat and glass of milk. Roy and the others began drooling again. Ed was satisfied already. Fuery was feeling a bit uncomfortable with eyes staring at him as he ate his cake. It probably didn't help that he was sitting between Roy and Havoc. But he continued eating it, trying his best not to be annoyed by them. He was glad that Riza was in the room. He knew that she wouldn't let the others gang up on him, not if they valued their lives.

"Don't I get a piece?" Roy asked with those silly puppy eyes of his.

"But you had plenty to eat at the restaurant. Beside Fuery had gone through a lot today, and I thought he deserved something to make up for it."

"But what about me and Falman?" Havoc asked. "We didn't get to eat any dessert at the restaurant."

"Falman, your piece is in the closet as well. Having Havoc as your date was torture enough. Havoc, you don't get any because of that incident in the mess hall last week."

"But I apologized to all the female officers already. And they've already taken their turns beating the crap out of me. Seriously, what was wrong with decorating the entire mess hall with miniskirts and having a 'hail to the miniskirt' party?"

"I'm not going to even answer that."

"It's not fair," Roy whined.

"Fine. Here." Riza leant over Roy and turned his head so that she could connect her lips with his. Roy's eyes widened in surprise because this was the first time he French kissed Riza with an audience. That feeling quickly left his mind. He was just enjoying himself too much. The others just sat there in shock. After a little while, Riza finally broke their connection. "There's your piece of cake."

"Mmm, tasted really good. Things definitely taste better coming from your mouth."

"I'm never going to get use to this," Havoc said as he came back from the initial shock.

"Same here," everyone else piped in.

"Is that all I get?" Roy asked as he looked back at Riza. Before she could even retort with anything, Roy grabbed her and dragged her to sit on his lap. In the process, her legs _accidentally _hit Ed's head. That was probably Roy's form of revenge when Ed taunted him. So Riza was seated in her fiancée's lap with his mouth dangerously close to hers. "Is it?"

"I think one little taste is enough," she joked as she moved her mouth away from his.

"But…"

"Buraha!"

"Down, Boy!" Roy shouted as his arms shot up into the air.

Hayate immediately bound away from his playmate and made his appearance in front of Roy. Those three knew what would happen if Roy pushed it too far. Riza chuckled a bit as she picked up Hayate and placed him in her lap. After some reassurance from Riza, Roy finally put his arms down, wrapping them around her waist. Riza made herself comfortable in Roy's lap as Hayate made himself comfortable in her lap. She rested her head against his shoulder. Everything had gone back to being calm. The boys continued with their poker game. Falman shared his piece of cake with Havoc when he couldn't stand to see the poor man mope anymore. Al and the kitty were contently playing in their own little world.

"Hah, full house," Ed nearly shouted. "Beat that."

"Not so loud," Roy tried to whisper. "Riza and Hayate are asleep. You wouldn't want to get attack again, would you?"

"Sorry."

Roy tucked a strand of Riza's hair behind her ear with his free hand. His other hand was holding his cards while his arm was holding her. She had fallen asleep a few minutes ago, and Roy didn't want her disturbed. When his hand caressed her cheek, she in return nuzzled his neck. Hayate let out a yawn as he curled up in Riza's lap. After Roy gave her a kiss on the head, he returned back to the game to find everyone looking at him strangely.

"What?" he asked.

"It's nothing really," Havoc replied. "Just not use to you being so affectionate towards someone that wasn't your mother. Speaking of her, have you told Mama Mustang about Riza yet? I'm sure she would like to know that her little boy has finally fallen in love."

"Hell no. She's worse than Maes."

"What are you going to do? Wait until your wedding day to tell her?"

"No," Roy answered as he flushed a deep shade of red. He had forgotten that none of them knew about the proposal, and they weren't going to know until it was legal. "I'm certain I'll tell her the day before. But knowing Maes, he probably already called her and told her about my relationship with Riza. He most likely called my sisters too. All of them are probably doing back flips right now."

"Hmm…so you're actually thinking of proposing to Riza. Are you sure you're ready to give up your playboy days?"

Roy had found himself caught in Havoc's little trap. He should have seen it coming when the man mentioned his mother. Havoc never could stay out Roy's business if it meant that he could get a girlfriend out of it. After all, if Roy was off the market the women would flock to him. '_Geez, Havoc, when did you team up with Maes? You've been spending too much time with him. And did you really have to bring my mother into this? I'll tell her when I'm ready.' _His cheeks flashed an even darker shade of red. Ed had begun snickering because this was one of the few times that he had seen Roy flustered. The man put up a good calm front every time they saw each other.

"How 'bout we all go to bed?" Roy said trying to change the subject. "It's getting late."

"Aw, come on," Havoc pleaded. "Don't change the subject."

"It's none of your business. Besides it's two thirty in the morning and we need to build up our strength for later today. Did you forget that it's officially Maes's birthday today?"

"Oh crap," everyone said.

"Well, let's get some shuteye," Havoc agreed.

Roy lifted Riza, along with Hayate, and placed them on the bed. He picked up the puppy and placed him at the foot of the bed. Afterwards, he crawled into the bed and laid next to Riza. Al stayed in place at the end of the bed. The kitty was placed with Hayate. The two little creatures snuggled close to each other. Everyone else had their makeshift bed on the floor. Havoc slept close to the window. Fuery was on the opposite end of their bed. Neither wanted a reenactment of what happened the last time they slept near each other. Ed and Falman slept in the middle. Ed was next to Havoc, and Falman was beside Fuery. Ed was more or less sharing Falman's pillow since he didn't bring his own along. As for the blankets, he didn't have to worry much about getting cold. The blankets were overlapping each other so he was under both Falman's and Havoc's blankets.

"Goodnight, everyone," Riza said out of the blue.

"Night," those on the floor replied.

"I thought you were asleep," Roy said.

The two of them were laying chest to chest like the first night. Riza scooted a little closer so that their chests were touching. Her hands laid on the top half of Roy's chest as his hands were on her waist. The entire time they laid there her eyes were closed though Roy's eyes weren't as he stared at her.

"More or less," Riza said.

"Well, goodnight," Roy said giving her a kiss. When she didn't answer, he just figured that she must have fallen asleep. "Sweet dreams. Hopefully ones with me in it."

"Roy?" Riza asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Hmm?"

"We need to have a talk later."

"About what?" he asked sleepily.

"I'm certain that I wasn't wearing my pajamas when I first fell asleep…or had taken any of my guns off."

"Oh, that."

* * *

Yes, it's officially Maes's birthday now. Which means that all hell is going to break loose. Everyone is going to wish that this day never came. Next chapter: Scramble for the closet. See ya! 


	18. Chapter 18

Yay! I'm back. If you didn't read my other story Facts and Assumptions then you don't know my reason for not updating in a long while. For the pass two and a half weeks, I had the flu and a small case of pneumonia. I was too out of it from the medication to write much, though I had my brother type up Facts and Assumptions for me. Now that I'm better, I've been working on this chapter. To make up for the wait, I've made it a long one. Third longest to be exact. So without further ado. Chapter 18. Enjoy!

* * *

It was another ten minutes until Roy could finally fall asleep. Ed kept snickering about the comment Riza had made before she fell asleep. The boy had basically fallen asleep laughing. Roy was certain that the others were silently laughing about his predicament. He would deal with them later, and he had the perfect idea for their punishment. But for right now, he was enjoying the warmth in his arms though it would have been better if Riza had worn that nightgown from last night. Then again with Ed there, they would probably be short an alchemist while at the same time there would be an abundance of perverts. Now that there was silence in the room, Roy could actually get to sleep. He pulled Riza closer until he could feel her breath on his neck. After pulling the quilt up a bit more, he finally gave in to his weariness. 

Riza was the first one of the group to wake up. She found herself laying almost completely on top of Roy. Carefully, she removed her body from his and laid down on her back next to him. The lost of warmth caused Roy to roll onto his side and embrace her. Riza immediately knew that it was an act since his head had conveniently landing on her chest.

"You can stop faking," Riza said as she ran her hand through his hair. "I know that you're awake."

"Ugh…five more minutes," Roy grumbled out.

"Move your head."

"But I like listening to your heart."

"So it's my heart that's attracted your head there. And here I thought it was the fact that that particular place was where my breasts are."

"Well, yes, there's that."

"Men."

Riza scooted over in an attempt to slide Roy's head off but he only followed her. In the end, Riza just laid there and let Roy have his way. She might as well get use to the fact that her husband-to-be would probably do this every night they spent together. '_Sometimes I wonder how I got into this. Oh yeah, that's right. Ed dragged me into Roy's room in nothing but a towel. That and I fell in love with this idiot. What a complicated life I have.' _Riza was brought out of her thoughts when her mind finally took notice of Roy's hand under her pajama top. His fingertips were running up and down her side, but they were paying attention to a particular place on her. Her body froze when he began rubbing that spot.

"Hmm…I forgot that you were ticklish," Roy said as he applied more pressure to that spot. One of Riza's hands immediately went to cup her mouth so that she would burst out laughing. But Roy knew that the current patch of skin that he was teasing wasn't her weak spot. His fingers went lower until they reached her hip. His index finger rubbed back and forth along the bone. He could tell that Riza was trying her best not to laugh and wake up the others. "Don't you just want to laugh right now?"

"S-Sto-op it, R-Roy," Riza said as she stifled as much of her laughter as she could. Roy didn't pay any heed to her request. Instead he moved so that he was sitting on top of her. His hands had found their way to her sides. Her top was pushed up to her chest. Riza was trying her best to swat away his hands but in truth she was having too much fun to really care about waking the others. After a while she had finally managed to grab both his hands and reverse the position. So Roy was now on his back with his arms pinned above him. "Enough. We shouldn't be doing any of that in front of the children."

"But-"

"Morning, Alphonse," Riza interrupted Roy.

His body froze as his eyes widen in shock. He could hear the shifting of metal behind Riza. She turned her head to look at Alphonse. Roy moved his head to the side of Riza's body to find Alphonse looking at him. When Al's gaze met Roy's, he flinched a bit. He tried to cover it up by picking up the kitten he had taken in and began stroking its fur. The kitten had pretty much woken up from all of Riza and Roy's movements, though Hayate was still dead as a log. Alphonse would only look up into Riza's eyes. It was easier for him to look into her caring eyes instead of Roy's shocked ones.

"Umm…morning, Lieutenant," Alphonse said nervously and somewhat embarrassed. "Morning, Colonel."

"Did you sleep well?" Riza asked.

"Yes. Did you?"

"Could have been better," Riza said as she moved off of Roy. She sat down on the side of Roy that was closest the others. Roy was pouting at her comment but quickly caught himself and put on a calm face. "Aren't you going to say 'morning' to him?"

"Sorry," Roy said. "Morning, Alphonse."

Roy moved to the edge closest to the younger Elric brother. He sat there thinking about what he should say and how he should say it. The boy was fourteen so there were probably some things that he would need to explain to him since he was the closest thing to a father figure the boy and his brother had. A bit nervous, he stalled it a bit by handing Hayate to Riza who was a sitting against the headboard.

"Go ahead, Roy," Riza said as she cradled Hayate in her arms. She knew what Roy was about to do. Inwardly she was laughing her brains out. Roy Mustang was about to have a fatherly chat with Alphonse about sex. Too bad for Roy there was something Riza knew that would stop this embarrassment. "I'm sure that Alphonse is all ears."

"Right," Roy said. There was a moment of silence before Roy finally broke it by clearing his throat. "My apologies about earlier, Alphonse."

"It's alright," Alphonse said with a hit of amusement behind it. Like Riza, he knew where this was going. The two of them exchanged a glance before Alphonse gave his full attention to Roy. "I understand that a man has certain…needs."

Roy's face balked at the comment. He never in his life expected for that to come from Alphonse. Hell, he'd never expect it to come out of Fuery's mouth. He had to plant an arm against the wall to stable his body or else he would have fallen on Alphonse. His other hand was placed against his chest to help calm his breathing. After a while he finally managed to breathe at a normal pace. He cleared his throat again so that he would be able to talk once again. He should be glad that he didn't have a heart attack.

"And who told you about the birds and the bees?" Roy questioned him.

"Brother."

"Where did he learn it from?"

"He said something about reading a book on it. Then there was something about a woman showing him how things were done. Though Brother complained about the lesson costing too much which is why he hasn't taken me to her so that she could teach me about it. That and he's probably waiting to take when I get my body back so that I could actually _feel_ it. You know, Lieutenant Havoc said it would have been cheaper if we borrowed one of his magazines."

"Oh my god," Roy said as he fell back against the bed stunned. "Fullmetal went to a prostitute. He learnt about sex from a book and a prostitute."

"Umm…what's a prostitute?" Al asked as innocently as he could. Roy immediately shot up into a sitting position. He looked at Al with piercing eyes. Al shied away a bit from the look. "Did I say something wrong?"

"You are to never listen to your brother ever again especially if it involves sex. And stay away from Havoc's magazines."

"Calm down, Roy," Riza said as she choked down a laugh. She came up behind him and wrapped arms around his neck while giving Al a knowing smile. Roy leaned back into the embrace and cooled down his anger. "You know, you're really gullible."

"Huh?"

"You'd actually believe that Edward went to a questionable woman to learn about sex. Alphonse and I were having a bit of fun with you, though I didn't think Alphonse would come up with such a colorful story like that."

"Wha-"

"Brother never did any of that," Al tried to clarify.

"Well, the book thing is true," Riza said while covering Roy's mouth with one of her hands. She knew that he was ready to yell. He had just been put in a completely embarrassing situation when it wasn't necessary. And to top it off, his fiancée and the tin man had nearly scared him to death with their little prank. A couple of minutes ago he doubted that he could ever look at Ed the same way again. At least now he could. "He did research the subject, but I caught on and explained some things to him. Since Alphonse was near that age as well, I figure I'd tell them both at the same time."

"You mean, _you _told them about the birds and the bees," Roy said after prying Riza's hand away from his mouth.

"Well, I told them about the female department. They had any understanding of the female anatomy so there was very little I had to explain to them. I mainly talked about the "mood swings" and what they should do as well as how they should act when a female is going through it."

"I never saw Brother so pale when you explained the blood thing."

"At least you were there to carry him back to your room. As for the rest, I sent them to Hughes."

"It was a bit disturbing because he kept bringing his wife into the explanation. And he was very detailed with it. I think Brother is a bit scarred from it."

"Enough, Alphonse," Roy said, trying to stop the images. "Even that's too much information for me. I do not want to think about those images."

"Same here," Riza said.

"Well, I guess there wasn't anything for me to say about earlier then."

"Yeah, I saved you from having to give _the _talk. You can wait to give that to your own kids."

"I'm never going to have kids," Roy joked.

"I'm sure you have a couple dozen out there from your past relationships."

"Hey," Roy said as he turned around and pinned Riza down. "I'll have you know that I'm certain that I don't have any kids. If I had gotten one of them pregnant they would have come to me and demanded I take responsibilities. And there hasn't been a one."

"Hmm…no kids and so many one-night stands. I guess that just means you're completely sterile or maybe impotent."

"You did not just say that." Riza simply nodded her and smiled at him. Roy quickly returned the smile. The three of them knew that everyone was just goofing around. It was sort of a rule to never question a man's ability to procreate, though it was fine to joke about. It was normally between men but in this case anything goes. Roy's smile had some mischief behind it. Within seconds, he was tickling Riza to death. She was rolling around trying to get away from him. Al stayed in his original spot and smiled at their antics. It was rare to see Riza smile but it was even rarer to see a genuine smile on Roy's face. "Just you wait Riza. You'll be popping out babies by the truckload when I'm through with you."

"Roy, not in front of Alphonse," Riza laughed out.

"What? He knows how babies are born."

"But I don't want him imaging us like that. Who knows how scarred he is after Maes's talk."

It was a miracle that the others hadn't woken up from all the commotion that was happening between the two lovebirds with the addition Al's laughing and the kitten's meowing. Hayate who had been dead to the world finally woke up when Riza's hand accidentally hit him. He yawned at the couple before completely waking up. A grin made its way onto Roy's face.

"Hayate, Tickle Attack!" Roy shouted as he covered Riza's mouth with one of his hands to stop her from canceling the command. Hayate's ears immediately perked up at the command. There were only a few people that he would obey. His mommy obviously being one. Fuery being another. And then there was his daddy. Hayate got to his feet and bound his way to the couple. He jumped onto his mommy's stomach and started licking it. Riza had tried to grab Hayate in order to stop him but Roy pinned her arms down with his free hand. "Now, how does it feel to be on the receiving end of Hayate's Tickle Attack?"

Riza would have said something if Roy would remove his hand from her mouth, though she probably would have been to busy laughing to actually answer him. Alphonse sat there and continued to watch. It was nice to see them having fun. Most of the time they were always serious. Hayate's rough tongue continued to barrage Riza's skin as Roy held her down. Riza's mouth was released from Roy's grip when she bit his hand. He pulled it back with incredible speed as he let out a cry of pain. His other hand released her arms to tend to his injured hand. With her arms now free, Riza grabbed Hayate and held him up in the air.

"Now, that's enough," Riza told the pup.

Hayate responded with a yip as he panted from expending so much energy, though his tail was still wagging like crazy. Riza removed one hand from Hayate to push down her pajama top. Roy was still trying to stop the pain he felt in his hand. Their attention was brought out of their own recovery when they heard a meowing at the foot of the bed. The three of them turned their heads to look at the kitten sitting there. Hayate yipped an answer to the meowing. Riza placed him on the bed and he immediately ran to the kitty. But because Hayate is a hyperactive puppy, he doesn't know the meaning of slowing down. So instead of stopping in front of the kitty, he collided with it and the two of them went tumbling off the bed. Luckily Alphonse caught them and placed them in his lap where the three of them began playing.

"Your dog's weird," Roy said to Riza.

"Well, Fuery knows how to pick them," Riza said back. Roy was still straddling her when she sat up. She took the hand that she bit and began examining it. "So how's your hand?"

"It's okay."

"Did you tell them last night?" Riza whispered into his ear. Roy looked confused. He didn't know exactly what she was talking about. So much had happened last night. To answer his look she slipped one finger in her top to pull out a bit of the gold chain that was hidden underneath it. "About this?"

"No, I thought it would be better not to say anything," Roy whispered. "They don't need to know about that yet."

"Good. We'll tell them when they're ready." Riza looked out the corner of her eye to make sure that Al wasn't watching them. When she was certain that no eyes were on them she grabbed Roy's shirt and pulled him until his lips crashed into hers. Roy aptly responded to it. After a while, Riza finally released him and moved her legs out from under him. She went to see what Al and the animals were doing. Roy was left breathless as his head made contact with the pillow. "So how are we all doing over here?"

"We're fine," Al answered her. "They're sort of using me as a jungle gym. So how's the colonel?"

"Figures you would see that. He'll be fine in a couple of minutes."

"You two really love each other, don't you?"

"Of course."

"I can't wait until I feel that way."

"You will one day, though I think your brother may have already experienced a glimpse of it."

"You mean Winry. I think she feels that way as well. Too bad neither of them will admit it."

"Give it time. It's hard to confess something like that especially if you fear rejection. But this is a part of life."

"Yes."

Their attention was brought down to the two balls of fluff. Both of the animals were jumping around on Al's body and trying to climb him. The kitten was having better luck in that department than Hayate due to its agility. It was able to make it all the way to the top of Al's head. Hayate was still struggling to get to Al's shoulders. He had managed to get his paws on it but ended up slipping off. In the end, Al just picked him up and placed him on his shoulder.

"It seems that these two have become good friends," Riza commented.

"Too bad that I can't keep her."

"You wouldn't be able to take care of her right now. I'm sure that when you get your body back Edward will let you have one."

"I hope so."

"Until then, try not to take in any more strays. We have enough to with deal whenever Fuery does that. You two are very much alike."

"I'll try."

Riza was brought out of her conversation with Al when she felt something rub up against her leg. She looked down to find the kitten looking up at her innocently. She took it into her arms where it purred against her neck. A whimpering brought Riza's attention back to her leg. There laid Hayate's head with what looked like a sad expression. His eyes were stuck on the kitten. Riza almost laughed out loud at this. The puppy was jealous of it. Normally it was only jealous of Roy and vice versa.

"You know I love you, Hayate," Riza reassured him as she gave him a pat on the head. A puppy like smile made it onto his face. Riza scooped him up in one hand and gave him a kiss on the head before placing the two of them on the ground. "Now, go play."

Hayate and the kitten chased each other around. Riza and Al gave a chuckle when the kitten unexpectedly jumped Hayate causing them to roll around on the floor. A tugging of her shirt brought her attention to behind her. She looked back to find Roy looking down at the others. She looked down at their sleeping friends. Al had peered to the side of the bed to see. Hayate and his companion made their way around the bed to look at the sight as well. To say that it was a hilarious sight would have been an understatement.

"I think this takes the word 'friendly' to a whole new level," Roy commented as to refrain from flat-out laughing.

Riza made her way around Roy on the bed to the side table next to her bed. There she pulled out a camera from the drawer. Then after pushing Roy out of the way, she began taking pictures of their current position. Oh, this is perfect blackmail material. Now a few hours earlier, the four men were sleeping in a line on the floor. From left to right, it had been Fuery, Falman, Ed, and then Havoc. Now, it was Fuery, Falman, and then Havoc with Ed asleep on top of Falman. Ed had his head resting on Falman's chest while the rest of his body was glomped on Falman's stomach. Havoc and Fuery each had an arm draped over Ed's back. They also each had one leg over Falman's legs, where they had evidently hooked with one another. Riza went through the whole roll of film before finally deciding that they should wake them up.

"Edward, wake up," Riza said as she tried to wake the young man. She was gently shaking his shoulder. Roy was behind her with his arms around her waist as the two of them were leant over their friends from their position on the bed. "Come on, it's time to get up."

"Allow me," Roy said, resting his chin on Riza's shoulder. "Now look at the _shrimp_. He looks too _small _for my flames to cook."

"Who the hell is the flea-sized ultra shrimp?" Ed said in his sleep. Roy was in a bit of shock that Ed hadn't woken up after his comment. Though that didn't last long because within a second Ed's head snapped up to glare at him. "What did you say?"

"Ahh, there's our Fullmetal."

Roy had grabbed the camera from Riza and started taking some more pictures. She had put in a new roll when Roy decided to wake up Ed. She knew that things were going to get a bit more entertaining. Ed was confused as to why Roy was taking a picture of him. He looked to Riza to find her smiling. Then he turned his head to look at his brother who was trying to keep from laughing. Al answered the question that was going through Ed's head by pointing down. Ed looked down to see the faces of three men extremely close to his. He immediately pushed himself up and tried to stand. But because Havoc and Fuery's legs were linked behind his knees, he ended up falling flat on his butt. Afterwards, he bolted to his feet. He was bright red from embarrassment. During this time, Roy was still taking pictures of him. Havoc and Fuery had cuddled closer to Falman after Ed's body had left them.

"What the hell?" Ed questioned them. "How did we end up in that position?"

"I don't know," Roy replied. "Ask your subconscious. Maybe you're just fond of men."

"What?"

"Enough, Roy," Riza said to stop the oncoming battle. When she turned back to Ed, she found him missing. He appeared out of the bathroom a few seconds later with a camera. There he began taking pictures. Riza was confused as to why he was doing this and it didn't help that Roy's body was so close to hers at the moment. "What are you doing, Edward?"

"Taking some blackmail pictures."

"Blackmail pictures?"

"Yeah. I'm certain that Colonel Idiot there wouldn't like for Hughes to have these. We all know what would occur if that happens."

"Hand that camera over, Fullmetal," Roy commanded.

"What will you give me for it?"

"Some barbequed limbs."

"Tempting but no."

"Give it."

Roy jumped off the bed and chased after Ed. Unfortunately when had jumped off the bed one of his feet conveniently landed on an important organ of Falman's. Said man immediately shot up to a sitting position and cupped it. He looked around to find Havoc and Fuery, the two deepest sleepers ever, next to him. Ed was on the ground with his arms held behind him by Roy, though the man was obviously having difficulty with the automail. Falman looked behind him to find Riza taking pictures of the entire thing and Al was in his happy little corner. It was only then that he took notice of the legs rubbing up against his hands. Only milliseconds passed before he was up on his feet.

"I don't even want to know," Falman said to no one in particular. Now that his warmth had been removed from the huddle, Havoc and Fuery moved closer to each other. They wrapped their arms around each other. They cuddled with one another while they were dead to the world. "I definitely don't want to know."

"Why does this always happen with them?" Riza asked. "Sometimes it hard being the only woman in the group, though it was a bit disturbing when they dressed up as women yesterday."

"Well, that's what happens when you're under the colonel's command…and when you're friends with the lieutenant colonel."

"True, so I guess we should wake them up," Riza said smiling. There was a hint of mischief behind that smile as she turned to look at Hayate. Falman was inwardly scared when he saw her smile. He was one of the few people that saw her smile and this one seemed to be a bit evil in his mind. "Hayate, Wake Up Call!"

Hayate ran from his playmate to the sleeping men. He jumped in-between them, or at least tried to, and started licking their faces and yipping in their ears. Havoc and Fuery tried swatting the rough surface way from their faces but to no avail. Hayate only stopped when Riza picked him up and placed him in her lap. She deemed that their faces were covered in enough slobber. The two sleeping fools had felt the thick substance on their faces and began swiping it off. But instead of wiping their own face, they ended up stroking their bed buddy's face. It was seconds later that the two of them slowly opened their eyes when they had a sense of suspicion enter their minds. Black met blue.

"What the hell?" the two shouted as they got to their feet. Each had a finger pointed at the other as their faces were beet red. Everyone was staring at them now, though Roy was still sitting on Ed. "Why do I always end up in your arms?"

"I think that's what all of us wants to know," Roy joked. "Seriously, there were two people between you two last night."

"I said it before I'll say it again," Falman began. "I do NOT want to know."

The rest of the group adamantly agreed with him. Each of their brains had been mentally destroyed enough from the pass couple of days. So Roy finally released Ed after getting the camera away from him. That was handed to Riza. The five men calmly sat down on the makeshift bed. Havoc and Fuery made sure to sit far away from each other. They sat in a circle and began talking about the day's plan. Al had moved to sit near his brother while Riza was still on the bed. From her position she took the opportunity to take a picture of all the men in her life, although some were missing.

It was one of the best pictures of them and one of the funniest since all of them were in nothing but boxers and t-shirts. Falman was the odd man out when it came to the designs. His boxers only had stripes. Ed had little kitties on his, probably a gift from his brother. Roy's was cute as well since they had little white bunnies on them. She'd ask him about them later. Fuery was wearing an extra pair of Roy's boxers but most would think they were his because of the pictures of Hayate on them. She'd have to ask Roy about those as well. And finally there was Havoc. He once again was wearing ducky boxers. What was this man's fascination with ducks? Yup, this was Riza's life. Never thought this was what the military had to offer her.

Riza's attention was brought away from the scene before her when Hayate started sniffing the air. She became even more intrigue when Hayate hopped off her lap and bolted through his doggy door. The others were watching the pup as well. Riza had resigned her to find out what was going with her puppy. She walked over to her door and cracked it open. She opened it enough to look out but not to the point that someone would spot her.

"Hayate, my boy," a voice sounded from the end of the hallway. "So nice of you to come greet me."

Riza immediately closed the door. She may not have seen the person because he was still too far down the hall, but she didn't need to. She would have recognized voice from anywhere. It had been ingrained into her mind since she had grown up listening to it. She turned around to face the others who were looking at her worryingly. Roy was in front of her within seconds.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"My grandfather is making his way here," Riza said as calmly as she could.

"What?" the men shouted. "Why do things like this happen to us?"

"Quick, everyone hide. He'll be here soon."

The men scrambled around looking for a place to hide. Roy was actually using his head this early in the morning. He pushed them into the closet. Well, he pushed Havoc, Falman, and Ed into the closet. He couldn't fit anyone else in. So Fuery was left to find another hiding place. Inside the closet it was pretty much cramped.

"Edward, get your foot off mine! Your automail's heavy."

"That is not my hand!"

"Oh…my…god! I didn't just grab that!"

"Who's rubbing my leg?"

"What the hell is this?"

"Quit touching my chest!"

"Shut up," Roy shouted to the closet occupants. There was silence in the closet. Roy rubbed his temple. They were getting on his nerves. Sometimes he wondered how he ever lived with subordinates like them. Well, at least he only had to deal with Ed ever few weeks. Riza was busy fixing the makeshift bed so that it looked like only one person slept in. She had already done that to her bed. The extra pillows had been shoved under her bed. The extra blankets were hidden under her quilt. Roy turned around just as Riza had stood up. He managed to get a quick kiss in before he crawled into his temporary bed. Riza sat down on her bed, pulled a book she had hidden under one of her pillows, and began reading it. It made Roy wonder what else she had under those pillow. So far there were guns, a book, and occasionally Hayate. He pushed back those thoughts for later as began feigning sleep. "Where's Fuery and Alphonse?"

"Fuery's under the bed," Riza said as she looked out the corner of her eyes at Roy. Said man was on his side with his eyes closed. '_He looks so cute when he's faking sleep. I wish he was beside me instead of on the floor.'_ Riza returned her eyes back to her book. She didn't want Roy to catch her staring at him. "And Alphonse is in the bathroom. You know, we should have shoved everyone in there in the first place. There should have been enough room for all of them."

"I know. I just thought it would be fun to put them in your closet instead. Who know what will happen to them in such an enclosed space especially since Havoc is with them?"

"Well, it's too late to do anything about it anyway."

"Right. How are you doing under there, Fuery?"

"I'm fine," Fuery answered. "Although I wished I thought of the bathroom before I crawled down here."

A few seconds later, they heard footsteps stopping in front of Riza's door and a knocking afterwards. Riza got off the bed and made her way over to the door. After taking a deep breath, she opened her door to greet her grandfather. There standing in front of her was her grandfather holding a tray of food. Hayate had shot pass her and made his way to Roy. Riza and her grandfather stood at the door as they watched Hayate circle around Roy. In the end he planted his front paws on the side of Roy's head and nudged him in an attempt to wake him up.

"Three more hours, mom," Roy mumbled out. He pushed away the weight that was on his head. Hayate was not one to give up so he did what he thought would wake Roy up. He latched his teeth onto Roy's exposed ear and pulled. Roy immediately shot up and grabbed the puppy. "Hayate!"

He adverted his attention away from the puppy when he heard someone chuckling. His eyes looked over to the door to find Grumman laughing and Riza smiling. Roy instantly snapped a sharp salute to the general. It would have looked more dignified if he wasn't holding a puppy in his arm and if he was in uniform. But that was the last thing on his mind. He had to convince Grumman that he was the only one in there with Riza so as not to have the plan go awry more than it already had. He had to keep things businesslike. Although he knew that the topic of his relationship with Riza was going to make things personal.

"There's no need for that, Mustang," Grumman said as he walked into the room and toward Roy. Riza had closed the door and followed. Roy lowered his hand and placed Hayate back on the ground. He moved out the way so that Grumman could put the tray down on the bed. Riza had sat on the bed next to it while Grumman went and sat on the chair near the closet. Roy was left standing in the middle of the room. "It's Saturday so we're not on duty until noon. Although I would like an explanation about your boxers. I never figured you for a bunny man."

"I've been meaning to ask you that as well, sir," Riza added. "I kind of expected pictures of little miniskirts on them with the way you rant about them."

"They were a gift from my mom," Roy explained embarrassed. He wrapped himself with his blanket so that he could feel at least a bit comfortable in front his superior officer. He sat down on the other side of the tray. "She still treats me like a kid."

"I understand," Grumman said smiling. "They remind me of the pajamas that my dear wife got Riza a few years ago. What was it birds?"

"Teddy bears," Riza mumbled. "Can we change the subject?"

"Of course my dear. So how was the date last night?"

"What date?" Roy blurted out.

"The one that the two of you went on. Hughes told me about it."

"I thought that was you sitting in the corner," Riza commented. "You need a better disguise."

"It was short notice. Hughes surprised me in his getup at the last moment to tell me about it. Though I was even more surprised that he found a willing woman to go with his plan."

"That was Fuery," Roy coughed. "And he most certainly wasn't willing. The poor man is scarred for life now."

"How do you know it was Fuery?"

"Maes kidnapped him that afternoon. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out."

"So…does this mean you're accepting my offer, Mustang?"

"No, he is not," Riza answered for him. "That wasn't exactly a date we had. It was just a friendly dinner together."

"But you two look so good together."

"Not this again."

"But my dear, you need to get married…and make me some great-grandchildren."

"I'm swearing off men."

"But-"

"Get over it, Grandfather."

"Now, you two," Roy intervened. "Let's change the subject once again. So General, what are you doing here besides the interrogation."

"Oh, I wanted to bring some breakfast for the two of you," Grumman began. "And I wanted to see where you slept after you little 'dinner' last night. So did you really sleep on the floor, Mustang?"

"Of course, sir. I value my life."

"I offered the bed again but he still insisted on sleeping on the floor."

"Aww, why didn't you accept?" Grumman asked. "I'm sure that my granddaughter wouldn't have minded sharing the bed with you. You two could have kept each other warm."

"I meant that he could take the bed and I would take the floor."

"Well, the rooms should be completely fixed tomorrow."

"Why has it taken so long?" Roy asked.

"We found some problems with the pipes and need to check the rest to make sure that this doesn't happen again. Why? Eager to be roommateless."

"No, no. I don't mind having a roommate. I just figured we could get Fullmetal to use his alchemy to fix it and be done with this disarray. I'm sure the others would like to have a bed to sleep in instead the mess hall tables."

"We'll start fixing after the inspection."

Before anything else could be said, there was a shuffling from under the bed. The three of them look down. Roy and Riza were a bit nervous because they knew that Fuery was under them. Grumman had left his chair and kneeled down to look under the bed. Before his head even got closer enough to look, a black blur leaped on him and knocked him on his butt. Hayate began licking Grumman all over the face. Grumman in return began laughing. Roy, Riza, and Fuery give inward sigh of relief.

"Hayate," Grumman exclaimed. "I was wondering where you disappeared to."

"There you go, Grandfather," Riza began. "Your one and only great-grandson."

"Aww, but I would like a human one too."

Hayate quickly interrupted the conversation with his barking. Grumman put the young pup back on the ground where he disappeared under the bed again. A few moments later he returned with a small chess set in his mouth. Roy raised an eyebrow at Riza, who had decided it was best for her to eat her breakfast. '_He's not doing what I think he's doing. Is he?'_ Grumman was happily smiling as he took board away from the puppy. He took out the pieces and began placing them on his side of the board. Hayate was putting them on his side too, in the right places. Once that was done, they began playing. Roy turned back to Riza for some answers.

"Don't even ask," Riza said before he could utter a word. "Hayate isn't your ordinary dog."

"Don't I know it," Roy said. "So far, he can do the normal tricks, clean up after himself, make a bed, give massages, and now play chess."

So the morning went on like any other day. Well, as normal as any other day in the lives of Roy and Riza. The two of them were eating their breakfast, though Riza had to feed Roy since her grandfather had conveniently brought only one set of silverware and she definitely couldn't go into her closet to get an extra pair. Roy didn't seem to mind this. In all likelihood he was probably enjoying this more than Riza was. Her grandfather was contently sitting on the ground playing chess with a puppy. Yes, this was an ordinary day indeed.

"I almost forgot," Riza said out of the blue. "We still haven't had our talk yet."

"Come on, I already apologized."

"No, you didn't."

"Well, I'm sorry I changed you into your pajamas. I didn't want your clothes to get wrinkled. And I couldn't as well let you go to sleep armed."

"You could have woken me up."

"But you gave me permission."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did."

"Was I asleep?"

"Umm…"

"Don't be so hard on him, Riza," Grumman interrupted the two. He was having fun playing with Hayate but the scene before him was a bit more intriguing. His eyes were looking down at the board Hayate so the couple couldn't see the mischief in them. "I'm sure when you two are married, you'll be ripping each other's clothes off as soon as you're home from work. Probably won't even get pass the coat rack before the two of you are on the floor making me some great-grandchildren."

"Grandfather!" Riza shouted with bright red cheeks.

The color on Roy's cheeks barely rivaled it. Most of it resulted from Grumman's animalistic comment, but the other was because of the mention of kids. Nothing had really been said about the topic of children in their lives. But now that they were engaged, they began to think about it. They knew that the others were expecting them to have at least one, even though none knew they were engaged at the moment. Though they were glad that no one knew especially Maes and Riza's grandfather. Children. They would have to discuss that, among other things, after everything had calmed down. Their future would be put on hold for the time being. For now they had a birthday to deal with.

"Yes, my dear?" Grumman innocently said.

"Sometimes I wonder if you're really my grandfather and not the colonel's," Riza sighed. "And I'm not marrying him."

Luckily for the two of them, a meowing had brought Grumman's attention away from embarrassing his granddaughter and her commander. Al's little stray kitten emerged from under the bed. It had gone missing during the scramble to hide earlier. It had been forgotten about until just now. Hayate made his way toward his friend. The two of them exchanged greetings before they both went to Grumman. Hayate had gone back to his side of the board while the kitten had decided to introduce itself to the elder man. Grumman instant picked it up and began petting it.

"Now who are you?" Grumman asked the kitten.

"Alphonse took in another stray," Riza answered her grandfather. "It's staying here until he can find her a home."

"If he doesn't mind, I'll take her. I'm sure your grandmother would like a companion to keep her company while I'm at work or away on business. She's easily tired by the other generals' wives."

"Alphonse will be happy to hear that she going to a good home. I'll tell him later."

So things went back how they were earlier. Riza and Roy ate their food. Grumman and Hayate were playing chess. The kitten had found its home in the general's lap where it was contently purring. And the others were still in hiding, uncomfortably cramped with the exception of Al. It was around nine o'clock when everything was done. The tray of food had been set aside while Roy and Riza watched the chess match. Roy hated to admit it but Hayate was a decent chess player. In the end, it was Grumman that was the game. That was somewhat an obvious outcome.

"Good game, Hayate," Grumman said as he put of the pieces. After that was done, it laid on the table near him. Grumman had stood up with the kitten in one hand. It had fallen asleep sometime during the game. "I think it's time for me to go. I'll see you all later."

Hayate, unexpectedly, saluted the general. He rested his right paw above his eye as he sat as stiff as possible. Grumman returned the salute with a kind smile. Afterwards he gave Riza a quick kiss before leaving the room with the kitten. The tray would be returned later, probably by one of the subordinates. All of them gave a sigh of relief when the door closed behind the general.

"He is a dog of the military," Riza said when she caught Roy staring at Hayate weirdly. "He learnt how to salute on his own. We've done it plenty of times in front of him."

"Is there anything else I should know? Does he know how to use a gun? Or maybe he's capable of doing alchemy? Or some other extraordinary trick?"

"Of course not. He is after all just a puppy."

Before Roy could retort that Hayate was no ordinary puppy, the closet door burst open and the three men inside came crashing down. All of their cheeks were red and they were breathing heavily. It was probably due to the fact that there was nothing in there but hot air. Seconds later, Fuery's head popped out from under the bed. He didn't look particularly overjoyed to have been crammed under the bed especially with Roy and Riza sitting on top of him. Al had come out the bathroom. He had brought out his brother's clothes from yesterday as well as everyone else's.

"That was a close call," Fuery said as he still laid half under the bed. "I thought for sure the general was going to find me."

"I guess luck is on our side for now," Roy said. "We'll have to see how things go the next couple of hours. All I have to say is for everyone to survive until Maes's party."

"Twelve hours until our goal," Riza commented.

"Yeah, twelve torturous hours," Havoc remarked. "You know things are going to be a hundred times worse especially for the colonel. Hughes is going to bug him about the date."

"Among other things," Roy added. "The most that all of you will have to deal with are pictures and stories. I'm going to take the brunt of everything."

"Al and I are clear since we'll be in the town for the rest of the items," Ed said. "We'll sneak back into headquarters a little before the day is out. I feel sorry for all of you."

"I'll pick up his presents this afternoon," Falman said.

"And I have him the last three hours," Riza said. "I'll try my best not to shoot him. And if I do, I'll make sure that it's not fatal. I'll bandage him up, too."

"And the rest of us will decorate while Riza distracts him," Havoc said. "We should tell the rest of the military at this time."

"Good," Roy said as he thought things over. Ed, Havoc, and Falman were still in their little pile partly inside the closet. Fuery had pulled himself out from under the bed and was sitting next to them. Al was sitting on the other side of them. Riza was still in her place next to him. "It seems that everything is in order."

"If that is all, I'm going to go take a shower," Riza said as she stood up and looked at Roy. "Coming?"

"Go on ahead," Roy said still deep in thought.

Riza smiled as she walked to the bathroom. She knew that Roy was too busy thinking about the party to really hear what she was saying. The others had probably figured out it was a joke on her part but knew it would be funny when Roy finally processed that thought. They continued to lay on the ground in their current position. In actuality they were a bit shocked that Riza would have said that even if it was a joke. Their eyes had widened and this was what Roy was concentrating on instead of Riza. He was wondering why their eyes had gotten big all of a sudden. It was nearly three minutes later that the little bit of information about Riza's shower offer had entered his brain.

"Oh, my god," Roy said as he bolt to the bathroom door and started banging on it. The others had begun to snicker at his slowness and the desperate look on his face as he continued to bang on the door. "Riza! Open the door! Let me in!"

A few seconds later the door opened a bit to reveal Riza wearing nothing but a towel and a smile. Roy smiled back at her and made his way in. But to his dismay, one of Riza's arms shot out and held him at arms' length. Roy was confused at her actions especially when she looked down to the ground. So he followed her gaze. The two of them watched as Hayate trotted into the bathroom. Then, unexpectedly, Riza shut the door in Roy's face. The others burst out laughing at this as well as at the look on Roy's face.

"Did you honestly think that Hawkeye would let you shower with her?" Havoc taunted. "You've only been on one date with her."

Once again the door opened to reveal Riza still clad in only a towel. Roy's eyes immediately light up. He didn't even get a chance to move into the bathroom before Riza grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a quick kiss. And like before, the door shut in his face.

"Oh come on, Riza" Roy shouted. "Quit playing with me. I need to take a shower, too."

"Go use the men's locker room," Riza replied through the door.

The others were now completely laughing at the expense of Roy. It looked like Ed was about to die of laughter. The only one that wasn't flat out laughing was Al. That was obvious. He was the only one that respected the colonel enough to not laugh out loud, though a snicker or two could be heard. Roy dejectedly made his way back to the bed and sat on it. There he began pouting.

"Oh come on, Colonel," Havoc comforted. "At least you got a kiss."

"Stupid mutt," Roy muttered. "Taking a shower with _my _Riza."

"There he goes again. Getting jealous over a dog."

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, Riza was taking a shower. She was enjoying the warm water that was flowing down her body. Hayate was bouncing around her feet. He was trying to capture as many drops of water in his mouth as he could. After applying her shampoo and rinsing it, she turned off the water. She grabbed the towel hanging on the glass door and began drying herself before wrapping it around her body. Steam enveloped the room when she opened the shower door. It was when the steam had dispersed that she noticed something dreadful. With all the excitement that morning, she had completely forgotten to grab her uniform and a change of underwear.

This new development was one that wasn't welcomed. Riza could deal with wearing a towel in front the others if she had something under it. Other than that there was no way in hell she was going out there. Luckily for her, her dresser was next the bathroom. She could grab her underwear without having to leave the bathroom and without having to ask Roy to get it for her. That would have just been a terribly bad idea, who knows what would go through his mind. As for her uniform, Roy could get that for her. So with that plan, she crack the door opened and slid her arm out. She had managed to get her bra and underwear out the top drawer without any complications. But halfway into the door, something or rather someone grabbed them out of her hand. There standing in front of her was of course Roy, examining her panties. He stood with his back to the others.

Havoc and the others watched Roy with interest. A few seconds ago, he had been sitting on the bed pouting while they were detangling their bodies from each other. Now Roy was standing in front of the bathroom door. No one could see what was going on since Roy's body was blocking the view. It had to do with Riza because the bathroom door was cracked open. Unexpectedly, Roy was pulled into the bathroom. The door had been shut behind him. Havoc and the others exchanged a look before Havoc's nose started bleeding.

"Did that just happen?" Fuery asked.

"That's not what you should be asking," Havoc began. "It should be, what is happening behind that door?"

Blood just started streaming out of their noses. If Al had his body, the same thing would have happened to him. Their image of what was going on was cut short when they heard a clicking noise. They knew what was happening now. All of them looked to the bathroom to see Roy jump out and close the door behind him. Roy looked extremely pale but it also looked like blood was trying to make its way to his cheeks. So one could only conclude that he was scared out of his mind but was embarrassed as well. By some miracle, he made his way back to his bed. The other didn't think now was a good time to ask any questions about what happened.

Riza on the other hand was profusely blushing. She was leaning against the door as she tried to calm her heart down. It was a little much to have her underwear in Roy's hands. But the fact that she pulled him into the bathroom was killing her heart and mind. There was no other way. She couldn't let the others figure out what was going between her and Roy at the moment, though after pulling him in with her may have been a bad idea. There wasn't much separating her skin from his. It took a lot of control on her part, but they had managed to keep some distance between them. After grabbing her undergarment from Roy, she persuaded him to leave with her gun. She knew that there was no other way she could get him out.

It took some time until she managed to calm herself down to face him again. After putting on her undergarments and rewrapping herself with the towel, she prepared herself for another embarrassing moment. Slowly she opened the door. To her surprise, her room was extremely quiet. She looked around to find it empty. Upon closer examination, her closet door was still open so she made her way there. Hayate followed behind her with a towel on her back. Again there was nothing.

"Guess they left already," Riza said to herself.

Two arms came around her and lifted her into the air. Normally she would have fought back but she knew whose arms they were. Within the next ten seconds, she was pinned down on her bed and her lips were fighting with another pair. She put up little resistance seeing as how she enjoyed having them there. A few moments later, they finally broke apart.

"Hey," Roy said.

"Hey yourself," Riza said back.

"You took your precious time in the bathroom."

"What? You would have preferred for me to walk out wearing nothing. Nevermind, don't answer that. So where is everyone else?"

"They went to get ready and have some breakfast. And then they were going to return all the things they 'borrowed' from the female officers. Fuery should be fine but Havoc and Breda are probably going to get beat up."

"Oh."

"So…you wearing anything underneath," Roy said as he trailed a finger down Riza's body. "Maybe some silky, lacey, and soft underwear. Something I never thought you would've ever owned."

"You know I am."

"But I haven't seen you in them," Roy said playing with the top edge of her towel.

"And you won't see them until the honeymoon."

"Killjoy, though I do enjoy seeing you wear a towel again. Nice legs."

"You're incorrigible. Now get off of me. I need to get dress and you need to take a shower."

"But I want to take a shower with you."

"Too bad."

Riza slid out from under Roy. She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the bathroom. Roy wasn't really resisting. It was more like, he was enjoying his view. As soon as they reached it, Riza released his hand and went into the shower to turn on the water for it to warm up. Roy was left standing at the door while Riza was getting towels out one of the cabinets. He was busy intently watching her that he didn't notice her standing front of him waving a hand in his face. Subconsciously, he just pulled her into a kiss. Riza found herself sandwiched between the doorframe and Roy. She held onto her towel as Roy held her.

"Mmm, peppermint," Roy said after they broken apart.

"You need to brush your teeth."

"Way to kill the mood, Riza."

"I'm just stating the fact. Now go take a shower."

"Won't you take another one with me?"

"I don't think we'll be clean afterwards."

"Exactly."

Riza just shook her head as she broke away from his embrace. She had gone back in to the water temperature. Roy stood in the door way, smiling. He knew the only way out was through him. He took a step in and waited for her to take notice of this. Riza turned around to leave only to meet a grinning fool. She instantly knew what he was trying to do and she knew how to deal with him. Walking until she stood pressed against him, she was about to carry out the plan but things didn't go as planned. It was interrupted when her room door burst open. Out of pure reflex, Riza kicked Roy in the stomach which sent him flying out the bathroom onto his butt. Hopefully, he figured out what was going on.

"And stay out!" she shouted as she slammed the bathroom door shut.

"Bad time."

"Yeah, Maes, bad time."

"I'll talk to you later then. I don't want to deal with a mad Riza at the moment."

With that, Maes closed the door and left. Roy listened as Maes's footsteps echo through the hallway. A little bit later, Riza emerged from the bathroom to find Roy still on the floor waiting for her. It was out shear coincidence or luck that Riza had grabbed her strapless bra instead of the normal one earlier and her hair was still wet. If not then Maes probably would have begun to suspect something was wrong. At least he didn't notice the necklace. Roy stood up and made his way back to Riza after locking the room door.

"That was a close call," Riza said. "It looks like Maes fell for it."

"I wish you didn't kick me so hard," Roy said rubbing his stomach.

"Sorry. I didn't have much time to come up with another plan. I'll make it up to you."

Roy's eyes lit up at the last comment. A devilish smile crept onto his face. He look from Riza to the shower. Riza caught this. Before she could even move an inch, Roy had grabbed her and dragged her into the bathroom. He made sure to close the bathroom door with his foot before continuing with his plan. Riza playfully resisted him but made no real attempt to break free from his arms. Within seconds, the two of them found themselves under a mini rainstorm.

"I guess you decided to join me in the shower after all."

* * *

There we go. I updated. You can put the torches and pitchforks away. Sadly, the next chapter won't contain much or if any royai. I need to tie up some loose ends with Furey and his women. Havoc is still going to get tortured a bit with Breda. Falman, I need to something to him since I need to lay off Havoc a little. I'll try to update the week after next. I'm still on the medication, which makes my typing slow. It tends to make me stare out into space a lot. Well, see ya! 


	19. Chapter 19

I'M SO SORRY! I've had this chapter done for a while but I've problems with Mr. Laptop and Miss Wireless Internet. Mr. Laptop decide to delete my first draft so that's one reason why it's late. I finished retyping it a few days later. Then I had to deal with Miss Wireless Internet. She didn't want to be connected for longer than three minutes so I couldn't upload it. While I was dealing with her, Mr. Latop decided that he wasn't getting enough attention so he decided to shut down on his own. This went on for a few days before I sent them away. Luckily, I saved my second draft to disc, just in case Mr. Laptop wanted to delete it again, and uploaded it using my older brother's computer when I was able to get to his house this weekend. So now all of you can continue with the story. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: It's been a while since I put up one of these. I figured I'd remind everyone that I don't own Fullmetal, though some of you probably wouldn't mind if I did.**

* * *

Havoc and the others had left Riza's room after Roy's little outburst. They couldn't stand to see the man pout. Sure, they did have fun laughing about his bathroom dilemma. They immensely enjoyed seeing a woman get the upper hand against him, but they just couldn't deal with that lost puppy look on his face. That and they were hungry. The last time they had eaten was at the restaurant. They had about an hour and a half left to take a shower, get dressed, have brunch, and return everything. Food was first on the list. This was going to be a busy and long day for all of them. 

Currently, all of them were in the mess hall eating. They had dressed in their uniforms before going there. So far there had been no signs of Maes or General Grumman. The six of them were huddled in one of the corners discussing what everyone would be doing. Well, they were partly talking about that. It was mainly about how Havoc and Breda would get the things they had stolen back into the women's locker room without possibly getting thrown out the window or getting mobbed by women, though Havoc was sort of hoping for the latter. Fuery actually had permission to have his things so all he had to do was hand them back without any consequences which was why he wasn't really paying attention at this point. He was thinking about something else or rather two special ladies that were suppose to have lunch with him later.

"How the hell are we going to do this?" Havoc complained. "I don't want to be thrown out the window like they did with the lieutenant colonel."

"We could get the colonel to do it," Breda suggested. "The women love him. They wouldn't hurt him."

"No can do. He'll be busy with his half of the plan especially with Hughes making up most of it. Beside Hawkeye will shoot us for even thinking about it. I don't think she would enjoy having her boyfriend get swarmed by women if it can be avoided."

"I guess. Mustang probably wouldn't do it anyway. Hawkeye has him whipped, and they've only been dating for a little over a day."

"What to do?"

"Why don't you just get Fuery to return it?" Ed said while still stuffing his mouth. "They won't hurt him. With the way women gossip, every female officer should know about Colonel Nitwit's date with Hawkeye and Fuery's role in it."

"Genius," Breda nearly shouted. Havoc had busied himself with grinning like a fool while he swiftly patted Ed's back for the idea. Fuery was doubting this because he couldn't be certain about the other women knowing since Sergeant Alice and Second Lieutenant Aerin had sworn not to tell. "Pure genius. You have some use after all."

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing really. It's just that you're useless when it doesn't involve the Philosopher stone or restoring your brother's body."

Ed would have come up with a retort if the statement wasn't for the most part true. All he really thought about was getting his brother back to normal. Though now, he was starting to think more about the people around him. Al was the only one that was important in his life then. That had all changed when he entered the military. He gained a surrogate mother and father in the colonel and lieutenant, though he wasn't fond about the father half. Then there was an older brother in Fuery, who was too much like Al. Then there were his dear 'uncles' who like to pick on him, or in Hughes case torture him, but at the same time help him. Glacier had become an aunt with Elicia as his little cousin. Although he had lost most of his blood relatives, he gained so much more in return.

"Now that's enough picking on him," Falman defended Ed. "Colonel Mustang does enough of that to meet the status quo."

"And I'm so glad that Al and I are going shopping today," Ed remarked. "I don't have to deal with Hughes like the rest of you. And I don't have to deal with Colonel Useless until five."

"Don't remind us," Havoc muttered. "Not only do we have to deal with Hughes, we have to deal with the aftermath of what will happen between him and Mustang. We're going to get fried."

"I've placed some buckets of water near my desk as a precaution," Falman said. "There's some under Havoc's desk since we all know he's going to be the first one set ablaze as well as get the worse of it."

"Thanks."

"If that is all, then I better return the things before we start working," Fuery said standing up with his tray. "I won't have any other time with all the preparations for the lieutenant colonel's birthday."

"Yeah, let's get going."

"Brother and I will go get the rest of the items now," Al said. "We'll be back in time to start the decorations."

Ed and Al left to complete their little mission while the others had to go complete their side mission. Fuery was carrying all the clothes and makeup that the others had stolen as well as the things that were lent to him. He was walking down the hall toward the women's locker room with the others trailing behind him. They didn't want to be associated with him if someone recognized one of the articles of clothing they had 'borrowed' from the women officers. Fuery was basically their little scapegoat. After a few more minutes, they arrived at the double doors that would lead Fuery into the room where every noncommissioned female officer showered and got ready for the workday. Those thoughts would easily make a certain blond male smoker nose bleed if he didn't remember how vicious they could be when they knew what the man was thinking. Fuery cautiously knocked on the door after the others had thoughtfully abandoned him.

"Yes," a woman said after she opened the door. Thankfully for Fuery, she was in uniform when she walked out the door. He wouldn't be able to handle if she had walked out in a towel. Although Havoc and the others would have been hooting with joy if that did happen. "Can I help you?"

"Is Second Lieutenant Beka Aerin or Sergeant Rhia Alice in there?" Fuery asked as bravely as he could, though the whole time he was blushing.

"One second." She walked back in the room making sure to close the door behind her. Fuery could hear her calling out the names of those that he was looking for. He turned his head to the end of the hallway where the others hiding. Havoc was giving him a thumbs-up while Breda was just smiling at him. Falman was giving him a look of sympathy. Fuery's attention was brought back to focus when he heard the door open. He looked to see the woman from earlier. "Sorry, they aren't here."

"Oh. Thanks anyway."

"Is there something I could help you with?"

"No, it's fine. I was just returning some things that belong to them."

"Are you Fuery?" the woman eagerly asked.

"Yes."

Before Fuery was able to react, he was pulled into the women's locker room by her. He as well the others were in complete shock. His hand immediately went to cover his eyes from the sight before him. Unlike the others, he was actually a gentleman. Upon his suddenly appearance, he could hear the numerous gasps and what sounded like the rustling of clothes or towels. This was promptly followed by angry shouts and curses.

"What the hell are you doing?" one woman shouted. "Why did you drag a man in here?"

"Don't worry about it," the woman that dragged him in said. "This is Fuery. You know, the one that Rhia and Beka told us about."

"The one that dressed up as a woman and went on a fake date with the lieutenant colonel to spy on Mustang."

"The one and only."

"Oh, why didn't you say so! Welcome, Fuery!"

"Umm…hi."

There was a moment of silence as Fuery awkwardly stood there with one hand covering his eyes while the other was holding everything else. He was embarrassed to be in there at the moment. The shy boy of the Mustang group was stuck in a room that was most likely filled with nothing but half-naked women. There was probably some that were completely naked in the showers. What was he to do? It didn't help that all the women were waiting for him to say something. It was finally the second woman that spoke to him earlier who noticed why he was in his current state.

"Girls, make yourselves presentable. I don't think he's comfortable with us wearing nothing but our underwear in front of him."

Some of the girls squeaked with realization at their appearance. Others had quickly apologized before going to dress while others complimented gentleman behavior. It was a few minutes later that Fuery felt his hand being pulled away from his face but he kept his eyes closed just in case someone wasn't ready for him. It took some coaxing but he did open his eyes a minute later. At the moment that didn't sound like a good idea when he took into account what his eyes were seeing. Some of the women were dressed in their uniform but for the most part many were in nothing but a towel. Fuery immediately blushed ten different shades of red.

"Now, let's get back to what we were talking about," the woman that answered the door said.

"Well…I'm looking for the sergeant and second lieutenant to return their things," Fuery nervously said. "They're from last night's date."

"Ooh, tell us about the date."

"Ashley means the one with Mustang and not the one you had with Hughes," one woman said.

"I guess they had a good time," Fuery began. "They were laughing and smiling a lot. I would have seen more of the dinner if certain things didn't happen."

"What do you mean?" Ashley asked as she led him to sit on one of the benches in-between the lockers. Soon after the women surrounded him to hear the rest of the story. His face turned an odd color of red when noticed how close a proximity he was to them. It didn't help that some of them were bent over, showing off their cleavage. "Did something bad happen?"

"Not necessarily. Rather a woman's water broke. With all the havoc that was happening we missed some parts. We managed to catch up to them in a nearby park. From then on, I want my memory erased."

"Why?"

"Well…when they were making their way back to the car, Hughes and I didn't have enough time to hide so we sat on a nearby bench and tried to act like a couple to fool them. To Hughes's and my own horror, we didn't fool Colonel Mustang because he had given Hughes a swift pat to the back which resulted in the two of us kissing."

Fuery sat in silence and kept his head bent to hide his blush while he let everyone absorb what he had just said. He was shocked when he was pulled into a group hug by them. They were exclaiming how poor a soul he was for having to kiss the lieutenant colonel and saying someone else should have done the job like Havoc. Then they each proceeded to give him a kiss on the cheek, while still hugging him, for having to go through all that trauma. Fuery at the moment wasn't paying attention. His mind was somewhat being overloaded with all that they were doing to him.

"Are you okay, Fuery?" one of them asked worriedly.

"Just a bit uncomfortable. I'm not use to this."

"Oh!" they all exclaimed as they released him.

"Well, that's all that happened. Now I'm just returning the things Rhia and Beka let me borrow."

"They told us about what happened with you," Ashley said. "You must have been in so much pain when they waxed your legs."

"Now, Ash, don't remind him about that," another woman said. "There are other subjects we should pursue. Such as the date or dates he's suppose to have with Rhia and Beka next weekend."

"I was getting to that, Claire. I was just building up to it."

"Whatever. So Fuery, Rhia and Beka both asked you out on a date."

"Yes, they said it was to thank me for going through all of that just to get pictures of the date," Fuery said. "We were supposed to have lunch together to discuss the plans but I won't be able to make it. This was the only time I could bring their things and talk with them."

"Oh. Well, they were called to run some errands for some of the higher ups. They're probably still out there."

"I guess I'll talk to them later then. You know what got me is how they were for Colonel Mustang's date. The same goes for all of you. Aren't all of you suppose to be in love with the colonel and try to get him to go out with you?"

"Sure we all lust after him," Ashley said. "But somehow we all knew that it was never meant to be. It was obvious that he was in love with First Lieutenant Hawkeye. We didn't need Hughes to tell us that every day he was here."

"So that is why. At least the other men could have a chance to date you now."

"Well, all of them but Havoc," Claire said. "He can't seem to keep a girl for longer than a day. He's like Mustang but for a different reason."

"Anyway…I should get going."

"Here. Give me their things. We'll put it in their lockers."

"Alright."

Fuery reluctantly gave Claire the clothing and makeup in his hands. He quietly sat there and waited for her to return when she discovered that there was more then there should be and that the extra things were the stuff that had gotten stolen yesterday. She would be angry at first. Then she would cool down when Fuery told them what happened. There was no way in hell he was going to take the blame for what the others did. Hopefully the women would take their rage out on them instead. Well, that's what he hoped would happen. As expected, Claire came back hold the items that went missing yesterday.

"Fuery, what are you doing with these?" Claire questioned him. "These look like the other things that were stolen yesterday. We managed to catch Lieutenant Colonel Hughes in the act but then we noticed that there were still some things missing."

"I can explain," Fuery pleaded. Yes, Fuery was going to do it. He was going to rat on them. No way was he going to play the innocent scapegoat just because he was younger than them. This was payback for all the cruel pranks they had done to him. "Those were taken by Second Lieutenant Havoc and Breda. They decided to spy on the date as well, though Hughes didn't know about it. I only found out when we accidentally met in the ladies' room."

"I knew it was Havoc that took them," one woman yelled. "I told you it was him. He's always had a fetish for women's underwear. Wait until I get my hands on him."

The owners of those items were concocting a plan on what to with Havoc and Breda when they found them while the rest were complaining about disrespecting a person's things and privacy. Fuery was just sitting there with a big grin on his face. Although he would have to deal with those two later for the pain he had just doomed them to, he was actually enjoying his revenge. He wasn't nervous about being in the women's locker room anymore.

"Fuery, do you know where they are?" someone said.

"Actually," Fuery began. He knew that Havoc and the others were listening at the door. It was obvious that they went straight to it when he got pulled into the room. Curiosity did kill the cat. In this case it would be curiosity killed the stupid men. "They're right…"

Fuery didn't get to finish his sentence because someone burst through the door and interrupted him. All of them peered to the side of the lockers to catch a glimpse of blond hair on the floor. Upon further inspection, it was found that the bundle of blond hair belonged to a certain alchemist. Aside from the fact he was in the women's locker room, it was strange to find him without his brother. Fuery had walked over and helped Ed up while the women were in either shock to having another male invade their sanctuary or angry for the same reason.

"Damn military idiots," Ed muttered. "Try and return something to them and this is what they do."

"Edward, what happened?" Fuery questioned him. "Why are you here? Where's Alphonse?"

"I came back to get something I left in my room. Al went ahead since it was only going to take a few minutes. After I got what I needed I headed out. Along the way I found something that you must have dropped from last night so I figured I'd find you and the others. I found Havoc, Breda, and Falman peeked through the doors. When they saw what I was holding they pushed me through the doors. So here I am."

"Edward, are they still out there?"

"You could probably still catch them if you leave now."

Upon hearing those words, most of the women already dressed in their uniforms dashed out the doors and were in hot pursuit of the thieves. So that left Fuery and Ed in a room that held nothing but towel-clad women. It goes without saying that they were embarrassed. Ed seemed to get the worst of it because the women immediately surrounded him and started cuddling him. The only thing that Fuery could distinguish that came from the huddle of women was something along the lines of how cute he was. Ed was trapped there. Due to his height, there was only one place for his head to go when one of them hugged him. He was getting smothered by breasts. Now any normal guy would be glad to be in his position but he was a sixteen-year-old boy. Not exactly a good place to be, especially with his growing hormones.

"Umm…Edward, what was it that you were bring back?" Fuery said in an attempt to get the boy some air.

"This," he answered when they finally released him. He held the article of clothing in front of him. The others looked at it to see what it was. "Not exactly something you should leave in the middle of a hallway."

"Hey, that mine," someone shouted as they grabbed it away from prying eyes. "I wondered where my bra went."

"I think that's all us guys had to do here," Fuery said as he and Ed inched to the doors. "I have to go take a shower before I go to the office."

"Don't bother," Ed said. "They're doing pipe inspections in the men's place. I haven't been able to take one yet. They won't be done until later."

"Great. I'm going to stink for the rest of the day."

"Why don't you two shower here?" Ashley said as she dragged Fuery to the shower area.

"We don't mind sharing," Claire added as she pulled Ed along.

The two of them were protesting along the way but couldn't get out of their grips. Some of the women were pushing them forward as well. Once they got to the entryway, they were stripped of their clothing. Luckily, along the way, Fuery had grabbed some towels for the two of them. So there they stood in nothing but a towel in front of a couple dozen women.

"Really, you don't have to do this," Fuery stated as he tried to get out of this predicament.

"Nonsense," Claire said. "It's the least we can do after what you did for Hughes, Rhia, and Beka."

"And the same for you, Edward," Ashley said. "With your help we'll be able to have some fun with Havoc and Breda. So hurry and get in the shower before work starts."

Before the two could further protest, the women pushed them in. They sighed as they stood there. It was no use. They wouldn't be able to get out of it. In the end, they would have to get it over with. What they didn't take in account was that the showerheads were already on when they were pushed in. This should have registered something in their heads. So it shouldn't have been a surprise that when they turned around, they weren't alone.

"Edward, can you transmute a wall to shield us?" Fuery quickly asked the young alchemist.

When he received silence, Fuery turned to look at Ed to find him sprawled out on the tiled floor. He had fainted from major blood loss after having seen what was with him in the shower. It wasn't long after that that Fuery found himself joining Ed. He had taken another look at the women showering before collapsing.

"Hey, Fuery, are you alright?" a voice said.

Fuery slowly opened his eyes to find himself looking into the concerned eyes of Rhia and Beka. He tried to get up but they pushed him back onto the bench where they had laid him after the little incident. His hand went to his head as it ached. He turned his head to the side to find Ed sitting on a nearby bench in his boxers. One of the women was brushing his hair. He gave a little wave and a weak smile to Fuery. He had woken up a few minutes before him. Fuery looked down to see that he was also in his boxers.

"What happened?" Fuery asked.

"You two fainted," Rhia answered. Beka and she had come in there to get something when they discovered a group of their friends surrounding something. They were unbelievably surprised to find Fuery and Ed there. During those two's sleep, everyone explained to Rhia and Beka what happened and why they were there. "Sorry, they can get out of control sometimes. They often don't think about what they are doing."

"It's alright. I can understand."

Rhia and Beka further explained what happened while the two of them were unconscious. Fuery and Ed blushed a deep red when they heard that the women had taken it upon themselves to wash them while they out of it. They were undoubtedly embarrassed to know that their _entire _body, especially the lower half, was touched by them. This was definitely something they hadn't ever thought would happen to them. Although some men would be willing to do anything to be in their positions right now. They had also told them none of the other women would tell a soul about Roy and Riza's date.

"How long have we been out?" Ed asked them.

"About two hours." Beka answered.

"TWO HOURS!" both Ed and Fuery shouted.

"Sorry, we couldn't find the smelling salt," Ashley said.

"I've got to go," Ed said as he frantically put his clothes on and ran out the door. "Al's probably worrying out of his mind right now."

"And I need to get to work," Fuery said as he put his uniform in record time. "There's going to be bullets flying."

"I wouldn't worry about that too much, Fuery," Ashley said. "First Lieutenant Hawkeye was already informed about this, though we had to make up a story as to why you and Edward were in this particular place."

"Oh. I guess better get going before my paperwork starts piling up."

"We'll come with you," Rhia said.

"We have some plans to discuss with you," Beka finished. The three of them walked to the door after Fuery had gotten some hugs from the other women, some kisses too. "I think you're going to like what we have planned next weekend."

"Ok," Fuery said.

"Hey, Fuery," Claire said.

"Yes?"

"If you're ever in need of a date, ask one of us girls. We wouldn't mind spending some time with you. Tell Edward, too. We have some younger sisters we wouldn't mind setting him up with."

"Sure," Fuery said blushing as Rhia and Beka dragged him out of there.

Meanwhile with Ed, he blazing out of the building to meet up with Al in the park, where the younger Elric was to be waiting. He was thankful that none of the women had asked about his involvement with last night's date. It was a slipup when he said that Fuery had dropped something from last night. No one was supposed to know about the date but the appropriate people. Although that went out the window when Hughes had involved some other officers. The man should have known not to trust women when it came to gossip. Ed was dashing across the courtyard at the speed of sound. He made it pass the flagpole before he found himself backtracking. There bound and gagged were Havoc, Breda, and Falman. The women officers had found it fitting to tie them to the flagpole.

Falman was in nothing but his boxers. It looked like he got slapped a few times but nothing too serious. He had dark-blue eye shadow on while his fingernails and toenails were painted hot pink. Breda had some Indian burns on his arms. He was also in his boxers. There were tear stains on his face which Ed had figured were a result from waxing since his legs, arms, and armpits were void of hair. Now Havoc got the worst of their treatment. Unlike the others he wasn't wearing boxers, they found it appropriate to make him wear women's underwear. His boxers were instead hoisted up the pole. He had some bruising around his right eye and jaw, though it was partly covered up by the makeup the women applied. Those women had some good left hooks. They also placed a wig on him. Now the real kicker, was when Ed saw "I enjoy men" written across his chest inside a heart with blood red lipstick.

"I see you got caught," Ed snickered. He got muffled yells from them. By now, he couldn't hold his laughter in and was rolling around on the ground. Tears threaten to fall from him. "I got to hand it to those women. They really know the meaning of payback."

After Ed got his laughing under control, he sat there and stared at the three men. The best part of this was that they must have been there since before lunch. Meaning that they had quite the audience since this path was the only way into Headquarters and the mess hall, at least for most soldiers. Ed finally stood up and walked away, but at the last second he walked back in front of them. He pulled out the camera from last night and started snapping away. Afterwards he ran off to meet Al leaving muffled yells to fill the courtyard.

* * *

I really wish I could get back to my regular updating schedule. I felt ready to explode after not typing for days on end. I'll get my laptop back Monday. It was probably just a virus. At least this time-off gave me some time to come up with some ideas for the story and my other ones. I have a general idea of how it's going to end. I just need the things in-between. We'll be back to Roy, Riza, and Maes in the next chapter. See ya! Hopefully! 


	20. Chapter 20

Yay! I made it over 500 review. Never thought that would happen. I still have a little ways to go before I have the title of most reviews for a story, at least for royai stories. Anyway, sorry for the delay. I got my laptop back later than expected. Then I was debating whether I should type some more at the end. You all know how I like to type long chapters, though I do hate proofreading it. In the end, I decided not to. I'll just put my ideas in the next chapter. So without further ado, chapter 20. Enjoy!

* * *

Maes had walked into Roy's office ready to grill him about the date that happened last night, at least the part after his kiss with Fuery. And that wasn't the only thing he was going to ask questions about. There was the subject of what happened this morning. He was a bit surprised to find the main office empty aside from the buckets of waters. '_I guess the others are preparing for the raging inferno, better known as Roy, that's about to occur.'_ Now that he thought about it, Maes hadn't seen any of Roy's subordinates since before the date. It was understandable with Fuery because of the kiss but the others didn't have a reason, aside from the norm. He usually ran into one of them on his way here. He'd think about this strange occurrence later. There's something more important than that lot of idiots at the moment. 

"Yo, Roy!" Maes exclaimed when he walked into Roy's office. He stopped dead in his track when he saw the amount of paperwork surrounding the man. It was almost as bad as the paperwork for when Roy set the hallway on fire a few days ago. "Uhh…Roy?"

"I'm here," Roy said waving his hand to show where he was. Although it went unnoticed because it was hidden behind the mountain range of paperwork he had to do, courtesy of Riza no doubt. "I'm behind my desk."

"This is payment for what happened this morning, isn't it?" Maes was answered with silence. He was beginning to fear that Roy had suffocated under all that paperwork. That thought quickly went away when he heard some movement. A sly smile came onto Maes's face. "You got an eyeful, didn't you?"

"No," Roy coughed out.

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No."

In truth, Roy looked like a fog light beaming a red glow. He wasn't embarrassed because of Maes's questions. Rather it was because it made him think about this morning's shower. He had gotten Riza into the shower with him, though she refused to relinquish her towel and undergarments. She also refused to let him get naked in front of her, but she did let him take off his shirt. They had spent most of the shower lip-locked. Roy's face changed into a deeper shade when he remembered how her body was firmly pressed against his, how one hand wove through his hair while the other tightly clasped the towel to keep it from falling as their tongues played with each other. Then there were his own hands. One hand was roaming her body while the other played with her hair. His favorite part, aside from the kissing, was when he had unexpectedly pushed her against the wall since Riza had nearly dropped her towel from the action. The two of them would probably still be there if it wasn't for Riza's internal clock telling them if they didn't get out they would be late for work. Unfortunately again for Roy, Riza dressed in the bathroom while he was dressing in her room, denying him a chance to look at her body.

"Liar," Maes said. "I can feel the heat from your cheeks over here."

"No you can't."

"Aha, you admit that you are blushing."

"I am not!"

"Are too!"

"Not!"

"Quit lying! Who out there wouldn't be frigging red after walking in on Riza in the shower!"

"No one because I'm not going to let some guy walk in on MY WOMAN!" Roy shouted standing up, though still unseen because of the stacks of paper.

"Your woman, huh?" Maes smirked.

"Damn, fell right into that one," Roy said sitting back down.

"Yeah, that was easier than I thought. So back to my earlier question. Payment for this morning?"

"Yeah. As punishment for this morning, I'm doing everyone's paperwork and I also have to write a five-page essay about the importance of knocking."

"Glad I'm not you. So where's everyone at? I doubt Riza would give them a day off even if you're doing their job for them."

"Riza's dealing with the inspection team at the moment but afterwards she's getting me more paperwork."

"Figures."

"Fuery fainted after returning the things that you stole from the women officers. Ask him for details."

"Guess I'm going to have to do something for him to make up for last night's date, which is the other reason why I'm here."

"I know. As for Havoc and the rest, they're…tied up at the moment."

"Ah, so we won't have any interrupts for the next couple of minutes."

Roy sighed at this comment. He knew this was coming. It was anticipated the moment Riza had agreed to the date. So Roy made himself comfortable for the oncoming assault of questions about his fake date with Riza. He went back to doing what he was doing before Maes decided to make his unwanted appearance, which obviously wasn't working on signing and filling out the papers before him.

"So let's begin," Roy said.

"What did you two talk about?" Maes asked. " I was too far away to hear anything."

"Nothing much. Just asked how she was doing, how Black Hayate was doing, what was new in her life, and so on."

"But what did you do to get her to laugh last night?"

"Just told her about the time I _accidentally_ set yours and Havoc's pants on fire at the family reunion last year during picture time."

"You had to tell her that event. That was the most embarrassing picture we ever took. Havoc and I were five feet in the air in that picture. It didn't help that in the picture your sisters had set buckets of water below us. You didn't show her it, did you?"

"Not yet."

"Don't you even dare. I'll show everyone a picture of Riza kissing you on the cheek."

"You can't and you won't. You know the amount of trouble we'll get into if anyone outside our group knows about the date."

"Right, forgot about that. I'll find another form of revenge if you show her that picture. Anyway, what happened after you left the park?"

"Just went back to her room." Roy immediately regretted saying those words. Although it had been the truth since they did return to her room after they finally left their 'special place' in the park. He hated himself for how it sounded like. He could feel the evil smile making its way onto Maes's face. "Not like that."

"What, you didn't spend the night in her room…together?"

"Yes, I slept there with her." Roy found his head connecting with the only open spot on his desk after he said those words. He could tell that Maes was beaming with excitement. It was a miracle that the man hadn't jumped over everything and hugged him. "I mean I was there in the room with her that night."

"So now you're saying that you stayed there but you didn't confirm that's all you did was sleep."

"Yeah, we did some other stuff before going to sleep," Roy said truthfully, forgetting whom he was talking to. "We didn't go to sleep until after midnight."

Yes, he had told the truth but he failed to take into account how that would sound to Maes, especially knowing that the man would take everything the wrong way. And at the moment he regretted that he had opened his mouth again. He started banging his head against his nice, hard desk while Maes was no doubt grinning like a fool.

"That good, huh?"

"I hate you."

"Aww, but you love your dear Riza," Maes mocked. "especially when you two share her bed."

"I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER!" Roy shouted at the top of his lungs. Everyone in Amestris probably heard it. Roy was breathing heavily as he took his seat and laid his head down. '_Though I wish I did. We agree. Conscious, Heart, what are you two doing back? I told you two to leave me alone. You only told Conscious that. Anyway, the two of us have come to an agreement. So we're here to help. Oh. Can you help next time? My head's getting overloaded at the moment. Sure, bye. I'm doomed.' _Roy had continued to bang his head against his desk but he wasn't doing it as hard like last time. A few minutes later he stopped since his head was really starting to hurt. "I slept on the floor. The things we did beforehand were make my bed and play with Hayate."

"I know," Maes smiled. "I was just having some fun with you. I know that Riza isn't the kind of person to have sex with someone on their first date, especially with you."

"Have I told you how much I hate you?"

"I love you, too, sunshine. Anyway, I guess your first date with Riza didn't go as bad as I thought it would."

"Speaking of first dates," Roy began as a smirk made its way onto his face. "Did you have fun on your date with Fuery?"

"I knew I should have kidnapped him after office hours. You would have never suspected if you hadn't noticed one of your men missing. And did you really have to hit me? I ended up kissing him."

"Just a little payback. So where did you two go after your date? Back to your room for some more private time together?"

"Shut up. We basically ditched each other after you left us. I have no idea what he did afterwards. As for me, I brushed my teeth about a million times to remove any trace of what had happened."

"He's not that bad."

"At least he's better than Falman." It was Maes's turn to regret opening his big mouth. He could practically feel the smirk Roy was sending his way. Sooner or later, he knew he would have to deal with karma. "Damn. Shouldn't have said that."

"What's this about Falman?" Roy said. Anyone could tell that he was immensely enjoying himself now. He had to deal with Maes twisting his words around. Now it was time for him to have his fun. "You kissed him as well. Is there something you need to discuss with me? You know I would never make fun of your sexuality."

"Do you know how much I hate you right now?"

"I love you, too, darling. So does Glacier know about your preference?"

"Can it! It's your fault!"

"And how is it my fault?" Maes explained what happened between Havoc, Falman, and him when they were in the infirmary a few days ago. Roy was laughing like crazy when Maes got to the part with Havoc. It explained a lot about what happened when he went to the bar with them that night. Roy had no idea that it was to escape from their experience with Maes like him. Fuery was the only one out of the four that didn't look traumatized. When Maes finished his tortuous tale, he had to wait a bit for Roy to finally control his laughter. "I still don't see how this is my fault. It's not like I intended for that to happen between the two of you."

"I know. It was an accident. It's just easier to blame you."

"Just to clear things. You're straight, right?" Though he couldn't see it, Roy knew that Maes was glaring at him. He was probably plotting revenge for this. Roy would have to stay alert but for now he would have to deal with things one at a time. At this point he decided to change the subject since Maes was probably at his breaking point and was most likely about to strangle him. "So...anything else you want to know?"

"Of course," Maes replied back in his cheery mode. "When is the wedding?"

The mood in the room had quickly changed once again. Maes was back to his old self and had forgotten about the pass couple of minutes. Roy was dreading this moment, though he knew it was coming. Silence filled the room as the two of them sat there. After a few minutes, it had become almost unbearable for Maes, and he was seriously wondering if his friend was actually alive. His worries were washed away when he caught sound of something being moved.

Curiosity got the better of him, that and the need to actually see Roy, so he made an attempt to get around the stacks. Maes scanned the area to see what was best to do. Either way he saw it, he would have to climb over the stacks. He decided that it would be best for him to climb over the ones on the desks. The logic behind this was that if he did fall there was a good chance that he would fall on Roy. He would've had something soft to break his fall.

"Hey, Roy," Maes said as he planted his hands on the top of the stacks and one foot on the edge of the desk while the other hung in the air.

"Lieutenant Colonel!" a voice commanded from behind him. The voice had caught Maes off-guard, and his foot slipped. As luck would have it, Maes toppled over the paperwork and onto Roy. The two of them went down and the papers followed them. In four quick strides, Riza was standing in front of Roy's desk looking over it. On the other side, Roy and Maes were buried under an avalanche of work. Roy was the first one to surface. "Sir?"

"Whoa!" Maes exclaimed as he broke through the sea of paper next to Roy. "You really can die of paperwork. I mean, I nearly suffocated under them. There was…hey, Roy, why do you smell like strawberries?"

Roy stilled at that statement. He could see that Riza was trying to keep from blushing from her position on the other side of the desk. She was part of the reason why his hair smelled of strawberries. It was after their make-out session in the shower, which Roy would be proud to say lasted a half hour. They hadn't left the shower immediately. Riza thought it would be good that Roy actually _took a _shower, without kissing for a long period of time, before getting ready. So she had poured some of her shampoo into her hands before massaging Roy's scalp. It was easily seen that Roy thoroughly enjoyed having Riza play with his hair. He cringed a bit when he remembered what he had tried to do. Just because her hands were busy doesn't mean that she's harmless, especially when trying to snatch her towel away. He had little hope that he would be able to have kids after that incident. Now, Roy was wondering how he could get out of this predicament with Maes.

"No reason," Roy told Maes.

"Aw, come on," Maes pleaded. "You've never smelt like this before."

"I just used a different shampoo this morning."

"But why one so femin-oh! Roy, you sly dog."

"No, Maes, it's not what you think. I had no other choice with the inspection team shutting off the men's locker room. The women officers probably wouldn't have mind if I went into their locker room but I didn't want to get mobbed. And for the record, I showered alone."

"I understand. Man, you must have been jumping for joy. Getting to use Riza's shower like that, though probably would have been better if she was with you."

"Shut up."

Before Maes could continue with his mini torture of Roy, a cough brought him away. The two of them look across the desk from their position on the carpet to find Riza standing there with her arms crossed waiting for them to acknowledge that they weren't the only ones in the room, that she was there ready to inflict bodily harm on them if they didn't get back to what was important.

"Hi, Riza," Maes said to her.

"Lieutenant Colonel," Riza briefly greeted him.

"What are you doing here?"

"My job. I stopped by to make sure the colonel was working while I was away."

"No surprise that he wasn't," Maes said before something caught his eyes on the desk. "Hayate?"

There sitting next to a stack of untouched paperwork was Black Hayate with something in his mouth. Riza hadn't seen him from her side of the desk since he was shielded by an undisturbed stack. Maes had taken most of the paperwork down with him when he fell, but there was still some that was unharmed which hid the pup. As for why Maes hadn't seen him until now, though he was right in front of him since coming to the other side of the desk, he tended to forget about his surroundings whenever he was bugging Roy. Riza instantly knew what was in Hayate's mouth. She pushed away some of the papers in the middle of the desk to find a chess board with fallen chess pieces.

"Colonel, you're suppose to be doing your paperwork, not playing chess with Buraha."

"But it's boring," Roy whined.

"Do your work," Riza commanded with an eerily frozen voice.

"Yes, ma'am," Roy quickly replied.

Roy jumped into his seat. He put Hayate down on the ground, who immediately jumped to Maes. Then he grabbed a nearby piece of paper and start scribbling down his name. He continued this as the tension in the room began to lift. Maes had busied himself by restacking the papers in hopes that Riza wouldn't harm him for making the mess. Hayate was helping Maes by handing him paper with his mouth.

"Good, now I have a lunch date to get to." It was a late lunch. The regular soldiers had their lunch at the normal time with most of the officers. Those that were on the inspection team and a select few were given a late lunch since they were too busy for one reason or another to eat with the rest. Riza was among the few because, in truth, she ran the headquarters so she was needed to coordinate the inspection. She had to also make sure that Ed and Fuery were okay while keeping an eye on Havoc, Breda, and Falman when they were being tortured by some female officers. Yes, she was watching as they went through hell. Roy had seen the whole thing from his office window. Riza just made sure that it didn't go too far. In addition to all that, she had make sure that Roy had plenty of paperwork to keep him busy while she did all these extra duties. "Come Hayate."

Hayate bounced after his master when he heard her command. Roy sat there totally bewildered as he watched Riza's retreating back go through the main office door. He never knew anything about a lunch date. She didn't say a word of it anytime during their morning together. He was even a little depressed that she didn't have lunch with him since she had to do the whole inspection thing. They always had lunch together. He just expected her to have lunch in the office while watching over him when she had the time. Maes was completely surprised like him.

"Did she just say that she had a lunch date?" Roy asked Maes. "And it wasn't with me?"

Riza walked through the hallway silently with Hayate trotting beside her. She was smiling inwardly at the expression on Roy's face. She knew what he was thinking. This little thing was just proof that even the famous playboy could get jealous. Within minutes she found herself walking across the courtyard. She encountered Havoc and the others at the flagpole just as Ed was running through the gate. It seemed that she agreed with the women's form of punishment for stealing their things.

"Return this to me when you are done," she said to Falman after she pulled out one of her daggers from her boot and placed it in his hand. He nodded in thanks even though he and the others were hoping that she'd cut them out herself instead of making him do all the work since it would take a while to cut the ropes. After giving him the dagger, she walked toward the gate. She knew full well Roy and Maes were watching her from the office window. "Make sure not to get any blood on it."

Riza continued the walk to a nearby café. She sat at her usual table from whenever she had time to eat there, occasionally with Roy. Hayate was placed on her lap as she waited for someone. Because she had frequented this place often, the servers there already knew what to bring her and even little Hayate since he was usually with her. Meanwhile, off to the side behind some bushes, Roy and Maes were carefully spying on the dear first lieutenant.

"See, I told you," Maes reprimanded Roy. "I told you. If you had acted sooner then this would never happen. But no, Mr. I Don't Have a Thing for My Subordinate was too stupid to think that other men didn't have an interest in her as well. Hell, if I wasn't already married I'd-"

"Shut up, Maes," Roy hissed. "I don't want her to hear us. You know what will happen if we're caught."

"Can't be as bad as losing the love of your life."

"No, we'll be killed by the love of my life."

"Good point."

The two of them watched from their crouched position as Riza drank her tea and Hayate ate his treat. A few minutes later she was joined by a young light-haired man about Havoc's age. Roy nearly ripped the bush he was hiding behind to pieces when the man gave Riza a kiss on the cheek. Maes was actually able to hold him back from jumping out and giving themselves away. He had to kick Roy's feet out from beneath him, causing them both to fall on their butts, to prevent any bullets from flying pass their heads.

"Maes, let me go."

"No, I value my life."

"If you don't let me go, you won't have one."

"I know you won't kill me but I have my doubts with Riza. Now shut up before I have another slideshow tonight."

"Fine."

Roy quickly calmed down after that threat but he was still glaring daggers at Maes and the mystery man. The two of them watched as Riza happily chatted with the stranger, though they were too far away to hear what was being said. Hayate didn't show any ill behavior about the newcomer. Rather, he seemed to like the man a lot. From what they had seen so far, Maes and Roy were starting to believe that this was just a lunch date with a friend. So they were caught off-guard when the man pulled out a velvet box and handed it to Riza. Roy felt that his heart dropped into the pit of his stomach when he saw her put the ring on her finger. Maes felt almost as bad as Roy. It had actually taken him a bit to figure out that Roy was no longer beside him. So that left Maes to sit behind the bushes trying to figure out where he went wrong in trying to get them together. He was brought out of his thoughts when a glint of metal came into his scope of vision. Looking down, his eyes saw one of his kunai embedded in the ground dangerously close to his crotch.

"HOLY MOTHER OF-" Maes shouted as he jumped to his feet.

"Nice of you to join us, Lieutenant Colonel," an all too familiar voice said to him.

"Oh, hi. What a coincidence that you are here, Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"Drop it, Maes. I know you were spying on me with Roy."

"Damn hawk eyes of yours. You know, I didn't give you those kunai to scare the living daylights out of me. They're for your protection, not that you need them with your arsenal."

"I know, think of it as partial punishment for spying on me. Why don't you sit with us? I'm sure we will have plenty to talk about. I'll deal with Roy later."

"Yes, ma'am." Maes sat down in the empty chair that was conveniently there. It was almost like they were expecting just him to be there. Maes sat there feeling like a child as he watched the other adults drink from their cups. The only real noise being made, aside from the rest of the world, was Hayate biting into one of the pastries in front of him. Maes would have taken one for himself if he wasn't afraid that Hayate would bite him or most likely if Riza would slap his hand away. So he sat there with his hands in his lap until the silence became unbearable. "So, Riza, you're engaged now?"

"What gave you that idea?"

"Roy and I saw everything. We saw you accept the ring and put it on."

"I'm not wearing a ring," Riza said holding up her left hand. Sure enough, there wasn't a ring on her finger. "See. Now how 'bout introductions to the man who is most certainly not my fiancée."

"Oh, right. The name's Maes Hughes."

"Ah, the infamous camera maniac that I've heard so much about," the man said shaking Maes's hand. "I hear that you've brought forth a darling little angel into our world."

"My sweet Elicia," Maes said seconds before pulling out all his pictures and shoving them into the man's face. "Isn't she just so adorable? Look, she's giving the peace sign in this one. Here's one with her mother. Ooh and here she is with Riza. She absolutely loves playing with Hayate."

"Maes," Riza sternly said.

"It's alright, dear _Cousin_," the man said emphasizing his relationship with Riza for Maes's sake. "Remember how Uncle Kyle was like whenever we visited him."

"Yes. He wouldn't stop taking pictures of me or stop shoving them into strangers' faces."

"Well, you are the pride of the family. Besides it's not like he's going to stop after you broke all those cameras when you were younger. They were easily replaced."

"Uhh…cousin?" Maes interrupted them. "And there's someone out there like me?"

"Yes, Maes, this man here is my cousin," Riza answered. "I would have thought the blonde hair was a dead giveaway."

"Rylan Hawkeye at your service."

"And let's just say that you and Uncle Kyle would get along very well. You'll probably have a contest of adorable pictures if you ever meet."

"Okay, I know who you are now," Maes said as he indicated to Rylan. "But I'm a bit confused about the ring deal because I definitely saw one."

"Do you mean this one?" Rylan said as he pulled out the box and showed Maes the ring.

"Yeah, that one."

"It's an engagement ring for my girlfriend. Central has the best jewelry in Amestris so I came to pick one for her. And while I was here, I thought I would pay my favorite cousin a visit."

"And Riza, you tried on the ring?"

"Yes," Riza answered. "My ring size is the same as his girlfriend. I had put it on to make sure that Rylan got the right size. It wouldn't do for my cousin to make such a mistake and spend more money to fix it."

"Oh, now I'm straight. Had me worried for a while. I didn't want to think that all my planning and prodding would go to waste."

"The plan to get me together with Roy, correct?"

"You know?"

"Almost all of the military knows what you are doing, Maes. You'd have to be blind or a higher-up, aside from my grandfather, not to have noticed."

"And I thought that I hid it very well, at least from you. You didn't show any signs of knowing my plan. Oh well, at least no one important knows about it."

"Roy?" Rylan pondered. "Mustang? Isn't he the one that General Grumman tried to arrange a marriage with?"

"Yes. Apparently Roy didn't even know that I was the woman that grandfather was talking about."

"Too bad he didn't agree."

"I concur," Maes piped in.

"Especially since Riza has the biggest crush on him."

"Shut up, Rylan. Maes, don't even open your mouth. You as well, Hayate."

"Yes, ma'am," the two of them said followed by a yip.

They continued chatting with each other until it was time for everyone to leave. Rylan had a train to catch. Riza's lunch break was almost over so she had to get back to headquarters to deal with Roy before she met up with the inspection team. Maes went with her just to check on Roy, and if he was fine then he was going to annoy him. He really didn't have anything else to do. He had already completed his military task yesterday morning and wasn't due back in Central for another two days to report. Hayate being the faithful companion was at Riza's side as the three of them went back to work.

When they got back to the main office of their group, a depressed feeling immediately hit them. It came from none of the men in the office, though there was something weird about Havoc. So the only conclusion and the most obvious one was that it's coming from Roy through his office door. Fuery, Falman, and Breda sat at their desks doing paperwork that Roy was suppose to be doing as punishment, though she couldn't really blame him since he had the wrong idea in his head. Havoc was just blankly staring at the wall. All of them were back in uniform.

"What's going on?" Riza asked them.

"There's something wrong with the colonel," Fuery answered. "He seems sad."

"More like depressed," Breda commented.

"We thought we'd cheer him up by doing all the paperwork for him," Falman said. "He hasn't said a word since he came back to the office."

"I already know the problem with him," Riza said. "I'll fix that in a second."

"Oh, before I forget, here's your dagger," Falman said handing her the weapon.

"No blood. Good."

"So what's wrong with Havoc?" Maes said.

"He's just a bit in shock right now," Breda answered.

"Why is he in shock?"

"While we were tied to the flagpole, which you and the colonel could have helped with before following Hawkeye, some of the officers that passed us earlier on the way to the mess hall wrote their numbers down and gave them to us."

"Yeah that was a funny site I saw from the office, even better up close. I didn't think Roy meant it in literal terms when he said that you three were tied up at the moment. Anyways Havoc is in this state because?"

"His pile of numbers were all from male officers."

"Oh, the 'I enjoy men' written on him. But wait! How did you all keep them? Weren't you only wearing…oh!"

"Yeah, for Falman and me, they stuck them in our boxers' waistband. But Havoc was a different story."

"I understand now. I'd be shocked if he wasn't in this state."

"He should be fine by the end of the day if not find him a girl," Riza said. "Now onto the other problem. I'll deal with the colonel. The rest of you finish as much of the paperwork before I leave to meet with the inspection team. Afterwards, you can dump it on him. Hughes don't immediately bug him when he's back to normal. Wait an hour or two. He has a lot of things to finish first. Keep the buckets of water here, just in case."

"Yes, ma'am," they all saluted.

"And be weary of stray bullets," Riza said walking to the door. "Hughes, you understand why."

"I know," Maes said.

"You'll get the rest of your punishment later."

"Don't I know it."

Riza entered her office with Hayate to find it almost completely dark. The curtains had been closed and the lights were turned off. After closing the door and locking it, she made her way as best she could to Roy's desk. Since the others had taken most of Roy's paperwork to do, she didn't have to climb over any big stacks. Hayate was the only one that needed to do that. She stepped over them and walked to where she knew Roy would be moping. Hayate was in front of her since he could smell where Roy was. Once he got to the chair, he was immediately snatched up and pulled under the desk. He gave a surprised yelp but didn't start barking because he knew it was Roy. Riza pushed the chair out of the way and sat down on the ground leaning against the desk. With a little help from the light that made it through a crack between the curtains, she was able to partially see Roy's face.

"Colonel," Riza said as she looked at the man that was huddled under his desk nearly suffocating Hayate. "You're an idiot."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Pretty much."

"Can I have my ring back?"

"So you don't want to marry me anymore?" Riza said in a calm and even tone.

"It's not like you're going to need it."

"Roy, do you love me?"

"Yes."

"With all your heart?"

"Yes."

"Do you trust me?"

"With my life."

"Then believe when I say that I love you with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to be married only to you and no one else. Now let go of my puppy before you crush him to death."

"But what about…" Roy began as he let go of Hayate.

"You mean my lunch date, that you and Maes _spied_ on, with my _cousin_."

"Oh, your cousin."

"Yes, my cousin." Riza went through the entire explanation like she did with Maes. She was happy to see him not depressed anymore, though she didn't show. There were other things that she had to do to him in the next couple minutes and she couldn't let him suspect. "Anything you would like to say?"

"I'm so sorry that I ever doubted your love for me and for spying on you. I'm a complete idiot who is useless without you."

"Be glad that you left when you did. Maes didn't like how he was caught. Let's just say that he will think twice about giving me weapons as a gift. So…do you still want your ring back?"

"No, no, no. Of course not. That ring is for you and only you."

"Good. Now come here."

Roy eyes lit up and he immediately crawled out from under the desk. He didn't wait for Riza permission. He simply placed his mouth on hers. As for Riza, she let him do what he wanted and returned the kiss. The battle raged between their tongues as Roy gently pushed Riza onto her back before laying on top of her. After a while Hayate decided to make his presence known to his mommy and daddy by barking into Roy's ear. Roy abruptly broke the kiss at Hayate's bark and glared at him before looking back at Riza. She shook her head at their antics before signaling Hayate leave them alone. She didn't wait for his permission as she pulled his head down to hers and began kissing him with a heated fervor.

"That was wonderful," Roy said breathlessly.

"I hoped you enjoyed that because you won't be getting any more for the rest of the day."

"What!"

"You know why."

"Yeah."

"Colonel?"

"Hmm?"

"You have five seconds."

"Five seco-oh crap!" Roy sprang to his feet after hearing the safety click off her gun and tried to get as far away as he could. He knew what going to happen. It was the rest of his punishment. Before he made it to the door, he first tripped over some of the stacks and then Hayate. When he got to the door, he found that it was locked. In his nervousness, his brain decided not to work because he stood at the door constantly jiggling the doorknob instead unlocking it. "That's not fair locking the door. How am I suppose to make a speedy getaway?"

He was answered with a bullet next to his shoulder. Just because it was dark, with hardly any light, didn't mean that Riza couldn't still shoot at him with deadly precision. She didn't get the title of best sharpshooter by goofing off like the others. After another bullet was fired at him, Roy decided standing at the door wasn't the best idea since it made him an easy target. He ran around the room until Riza emptied her clip. Roy ended up sitting in one corner of the room breathing heavily. Riza, finished with this punishment, walked to the door.

"Now do your paperwork," she said before closing the door behind her. Riza walked into the main office to find the other furiously doing their paperwork with the exception of Maes and Havoc. They clearly didn't want to suffer at her hands since the gunshots and their commanding officer's screams terrified them. Although, they didn't need to worry about it since she was to meet with the inspection team in the next couple of minutes. She didn't give them a second glace as she and Hayate walked out of there. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "Maes, come with me."

"Damn," Maes said walking out the door. "I had hoped she forgot about me."

"We wish you the best of luck, sir," Falman called out to him.

* * *

My bad for any mistakes. I got tired of proofreading about midway. The disadvantage of long chapters, it takes to long to proofread. That doesn't mean that I'll stop writing long chapters. Anyways, I should find a way to lay off of Havoc. I've tortured him plenty. Time to have fun with Breda and Falman, somehow. I won't be able to update until the Saturday after next. I've volunteered, more like blackmailed with tears, to do the final checks and other stuff for a friend's wedding. I just had to be the reliable one. Well, see ya! 


	21. Chapter 21

I'm sure all of you have missed me. It's been over a month. I didn't get hurt again despite how accident prone I am. I didn't get sick, there wasn't another wedding, no unexpected visits, or incidents with this laptop. No, I was swamped with homework and studying for my exams, which isn't a problem now that classes are over. In addition I had massive writers' block. It's seriously hard coming up with ideas on how to torture Falman and Breda. There isn't much that you can do with the pair. Also, it was very mindblowing to lay off Havoc. I was tempted at so many places. At least I left Fuery alone. That's saying something. Anyway, on with the story. Enjoy!

* * *

There was only about an hour left before the preparations for Maes's birthday party would begin. Some would think this would be a joyous time for Roy and the others, but said people seem to have died or that's what it looked like when anyone came across them. Roy had by some miracle completed all his paperwork, though with a lot of help, early. Yet after this accomplishment he looked like his favorite pet died, in a way that was true. Riza had stuck to her words. For about three hours, so far, Roy had not received one kiss from her whenever she came to check on him and the others. So, at the moment, he was wasting his time staring out into space like Havoc. 

Speaking of him, Havoc was still in la la land. All the events he had experienced seemed to have shut his brain down for the time being. Everyone unanimously agreed to leave him alone. The others weren't fairing as well either during this time of work and wait. Some time during this period, Roy was extremely impatient and had gone temporarily insane from his lack of kisses from Riza and unintentionally snapped his fingers. A stream of fire was sent through his open office door into the main room. It had missed hitting Havoc as it shot across his desk, although it did light the cigarette in his mouth. Since it went across the desk, it hit the one that was standing at the end of it. In this case it was Falman, who only got caught in its wake because he was grabbing some of Havoc's paperwork to do.

Fuery had come to Falman's rescue by trying to pat out the fire on his jacket as said man was rolling on the ground. Actually it was Breda who came to the rescue by dumping water on them. It was a good thing they followed Riza's order and kept the buckets of water. Fuery and Falman were sent to the infirmary to get their injures tended to. Falman wasn't really hurt since his clothes somewhat protected him. Fuery, on the other hand, returned to the office with his hands bandaged. He was exempted from doing anything that involved his hands, at least until it didn't cause him too much pain. And Roy removed his gloves to prevent any further occurrences.

Like the others, Breda didn't escape his own form of bad luck. His happened toward the end of the work day while the others were toward the middle of the waiting period. He was to make Havoc…normal. Fuery would have been made to do it since he couldn't do anything else, but Riza had come and got him a half hour before Roy had issued that assignment. She suspected that Falman, Breda, and Havoc, if he was back to normal, were going to do something to him since he was the one of the reasons that they were tortured by the women officers. Anyway, Breda was to find some way to bring back their Havoc or at least make him blink. This job was probably the worse of all that had happened so far.

Surprisingly, Maes had not made an appearance in the office, which everyone was extremely thankful for. They suspected that it had to with Riza and the punishment for spying on her. And as for Riza, well, she was doing what she does best. She was running the headquarters. Every once and a while, she would come into the office to check on them. Roy's eyes lit up every time she came but it quickly went away when she left to rejoin the inspection team. She hadn't been seen since she took Fuery with her. Now that the paperwork was done and everyone was fairly…alive, they had to wait for Maes to make his appearance so they could put the rest of the plan into play.

"Colonel!" Breda exclaimed as he came into Roy's office with Havoc in tow. Falman was walking behind them. He was helping Breda since there was nothing else to do. Roy nearly shot out of his chair at the sudden sound. He was too lost in space to notice anything that was going on in the real world. He looked at the three in front of him with a somewhat dazed look. The effects of not having Riza with him were really starting to affect him. "There's nothing we can do. He won't come out of it."

"I think he may be stuck this way," Falman said. "The male phone numbers must have thrown him over the edge."

"We've tried everything."

"Like?" Roy responded still not looking at them but rather at the wall behind them.

"I've tried slapping him, punching him, kicking him, dumping ice cold water on him, making faces, some swearing…"

"Have you tried showing him those magazines that he keeps in the bottom drawer of his desk?"

"One second," Falman said before leaving office to get the items. He returned seconds later with an arm full of magazines. From there him and Breda started shoving pictures of things best not mention to people like Elicia into his face. Roy continued his current state during this time. After about ten minutes of holding back their nosebleeds, Falman and Breda gave up when they noticed no change in Havoc's face. When they turned to Roy, they noticed the same type of face on him. The pictures were then turned onto Roy who showed no acknowledgement of them being inches from his face. "You okay, sir?"

"You think he got some phone numbers from male officers, too?" Breda questioned Falman.

"I think this has to do with Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"He's got it bad. Figures our little playboy would fall madly in love with her."

"This must be a result of the punishment for spying on her like the lieutenant colonel. Speaking of which, where is he? Lieutenant Hawkeye wouldn't have done anything to keep him away this long."

"Do you think she finally snapped and killed him?"

"No. With the party in a few hours, she wouldn't let all that we went through go to waste."

"So how do we deal with these two?"

"Havoc's a lost cause. As for the colonel, we need the lieutenant, but she's busy at the moment."

"Hmm…would a picture work?"

"I guess we could try. It's not like we can do anything else."

"You have one?"

"No. I guess you don't either. Well, there's the group picture but I think one of only her would work better. The colonel might have one but I don't want to risk getting barbequed again if I look in his desk."

"I know. Fuery. He should have one. Aside from the colonel, he spends the most time with her."

The two of them rush to Fuery's desk in search of a picture. They only ended up creating a mess. The picture remained elusive until they had cleaned up the area as best they could. They couldn't remember where some of the things went. It was still a mess after they 'cleaned' the place. It was after they finished that they finally took notice of the picture frames on Fuery's desk. There was the group picture that everyone had, one of his family, one of Hayate and him, and finally one of Riza with Hayate in her arms. They immediately grabbed the frame and rushed back into Roy's office where the two zombies were still sitting.

"Is this actually going to work, Breda?"

"You never know with the colonel. Besides it's not like we can do anything else."

Breda shoved the picture into Roy's face. He and Falman watched his face for any sort of reaction. It took a few seconds but Roy finally blinked his eyes. Not exactly the reaction that they were looking for but at least it was something. They waited a bit more in hopes that they would get something a bit more than just blinking his eyes. That was probably a fluke in itself. A person had to blink every once and a while. It's an involuntary reflex.

"What happened to my desk?" someone shouted. Falman and Breda turned around to see Fuery running into the office. Hayate was hot on his tail yipping. Fuery looked like he was about to attack someone. His co-workers must have done more damage to his desk than what they originally thought. That anger quickly changed to confusion when he caught sight of the scene before him. Havoc and Roy were dead to the world or rather the world was dead to them. Breda was on top of a file cabinet, and Falman was kneeling on the ground picking up a frame and some shards of glass. "What's going on?"

Before either sane man could answer, Roy jumped up out of his seat scaring them. He sped out from behind his desk toward the new arrivals. Unexpectedly he swooped down and picked up Hayate. Then he did something that was totally uncharacteristic of him. He started cuddling him, much to the pup's protest.

"Hayate!" Roy exclaimed. Breda and Falman nearly fell over that. They had shoved perverted images in his face and got nothing. But Hayate's appearance made him snap back to reality. Today was just not their day. "Where is she, boy?"

"If by she, you mean the lieutenant, then she's not here," Fuery answered. Roy's shoulders fell at that comment. He made his way back to his desk with Hayate and dropped into his chair. Hayate gave his face a lick in an attempt to comfort him. "She said that she was going ahead to her designated place for the plan. Hayate is to stay with me. She said that when we are ready he will be able to find her since we don't exactly know how she's going to keep Lieutenant Colonel Hughes busy."

"Oh, okay."

"So Colonel," Falman said.

"Yeah?"

"You aren't going to go all spacey on us again, will you?"

"No, I'm fine. I should be good until the end of the party. How's it going with Havoc?"

"No good," Breda answered. "He seems comatose."

"Well, keep at it. Where's Maes? He should've been here by now. Was he still with Riza when you left her, Fuery?"

"No. I haven't seen him since the lieutenant shot at you. He wasn't with the inspection team when I joined up with them."

"I wonder where he could be. Probably out torturing the new recruits."

So while they waited for Maes to come, they decided to do a quick run thru of the evening's plan. Sometime during this Ed and Al had called them to tell them that they were back from their shopping. They decided that it would be best that they went ahead to the party site so that Maes wouldn't accidentally come across them. Originally they were supposed to meet in the cafeteria where the other soldiers were to be informed about everything, but they couldn't risk bumping into Maes if they went there now. So Roy was going to have to do that part without them, not like it mattered. During this time and the decorating part, Riza was to distract Maes.

"Hey, everybody!" Maes yelled as he banged the door open. Everyone was clutching their hearts at his sudden intrusion. Luckily they had finished talking about the plan a few minutes beforehand. A good thing because everything would basically be moot if Maes overheard them. "Miss me."

"No," everyone blankly said.

"What's with the bandage, sir?" Fuery asked.

"What did you do to Riza this time?" Roy added. "It's not like her to hurt someone that bad, at least not someone on the same side as her."

"Oh, this," Maes said touching the medical strips wrapped around his head. "Actually, she didn't do this to me. She never got to give me my punishment, not that I'm complaining. In all honesty, Hayate did this to me."

"Hayate!" they all said looking at the puppy in Roy's arms.

"Riza was too busy with the inspection team to dish out my punishment so for the time being she had me puppy-sit Hayate. One second I'm chasing him. The next, my face said hello to a tree. I've been unconscious in the infirmary since then."

"Oh," they dumbly said.

"So what's with the little powwow you all are having?"

"Maes, my friend, lock the door," Roy said smiling. "It's time I include you in our little plan."

Maes hesitated a bit when he saw that smile on Roy's face. He knew that something was up. The fact that nearly all of Roy's subordinates were in the room only added to his suspicions. In the end, Maes decide to do it. What did he have to lose? After locking the door, he took his seat in front of Roy. Havoc, Falman, and Fuery were sitting on the couch while Breda insisted on staying where he was. He mumbled something about a ravenous beast after him. Said 'ravenous beast' stayed snuggled in Roy's arms.

"So what is this all about?" Maes asked.

"Maes, remind me the three things you wanted me to do that involves Riza," Roy said. "The things you told me yesterday."

"Three things that involve Riza. Hmm…from our talk?"

"Yeah."

"Let's see. Admit you love, ask her out, and then marry her."

"What have I done so far?"

"Admit you love her. Boy did that take some coaxing. You asked her out that afternoon. I was there for the date. Lastly you hav-you're going to finally ask her to marry you? Is that why she isn't here?"

"Right as always, Maes."

"About freaking time," Maes said as he jumped over the desk and started patting him on the back. Hayate had escaped Roy's arms and ran around the room yipping at all the excitement before jumping back into Roy's arms. He knew that something important and fun was suppose to happen soon.So far everything was going according to plan. Maes was falling for it. "I thought I would die before you get married."

"Now, Maes, I'm not that hopeless."

"Sure, I actually thought that Elicia would get married before you. So when are you going to do it?"

"Tonight."

"Grandmother's ring?"

"Not exactly."

"Really now. Are you sure that you want to marry her? You promised Grandma that her ring would go to the one you want to marry. If you not going to…"

"It's not what you think. Mother has it right now. So I'm using a substitute ring until she can send it to me."

"So you told Mama Mustang already. It's a miracle that you can still hear. So let me see the substitute."

Roy opened the top drawer of his desk with one hand while the other held onto Hayate. He pulled out a small black velvet box. Hayate snapped at it thinking that it was a new toy for him. Roy managed to throw it to Maes before any slobber got on it. Maes easily caught it and opened it. He inspected a bit before closing it and tossing it back. Roy returned it back to the drawer. He had to get a substitute since he had already given his grandmother's ring to Riza, and she had promised that she wasn't going to remove it until the time was ready. He couldn't let her break her promise.

"You approve?"

"It will do for the time being."

"Good."

"Got the proposal place ready?"

"Not yet. That's what I need you and the others for. I need help setting everything up."

"What do you want from me?"

"I need you to keep her busy until the others and I get things ready. You're the only one besides me that won't immediately cower in fear. Okay, we're the only ones that can order her not to shoot us."

"I don't know," Maes said nervously. "I can get on her nerves sometimes. She might be tempted to shoot at me again or use one of her other weapons on me despite an order. She's scary when you get on her bad side."

"Think about it this way. Either you face the blonde death or I don't get married."

"Tough choice. See my best friend finally get married or endure physical pain and torture."

"You'll never get to be my best man and see Elicia be the flower girl if you don't choose in the next couple of minutes."

"Fine, fine. I'll overcome one of my fears."

"Good. You'll find Riza in the park. We made plans to have a picnic together after work today."

"God, you're trying to kill me, aren't you? She's going to be angry when I show up instead of you. She'll think that you canceled to go out with some bimbo. I'm going to be riddled with bullets."

"Hmm…I didn't think of that. I only propose the picnic to keep her out of Headquarters so that she didn't overhear this conversation. Well, it's your problem now. Keep her out of crowded places."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot."

"Sure no problem."

"I was being sarcastic. Well, I better go face my fate. Wait, how am I going to know when you're done?"

"I'll send Fuery."

"And what if we leave the park?"

"Hayate will be able to find her. So quit stalling or Riza will be madder when you get there. You know how she likes punctuality."

"I'm going." Maes rose from his seat and walked to the door. Fuery gave a small wave goodbye while Hayate yipped. Falman and Breda gave their goodbyes and good lucks to him as well. And Havoc…well, he blinked. "Roy, you better name one of your kids after me for this."

"I'll leave that up to Riza."

"Right, she is the boss of you," Maes laughed before closing the door behind him.

"That went well," Falman commented after several minutes of silence.

"I was so sure that he would see through my lying," Roy said slouching in his chair. "He's seen through it before. I guess the thought of me getting married is messing up his keen mind these pass few days."

"So, Colonel, when will you really ask her?"

"When I'm ready," Roy said with a secretive smile.

"Sir?" Fuery began. "Did you really buy a ring just for the plan? Or did you have one all along?"

"Here," Roy said tossing it toward them after taking it out of the drawer again.

Falman caught right before it hit Havoc's face. He opened the box and took out the ring. It was held between his thumb and index finger as he examined it. Fuery leaned over Havoc to have his peak at it. Breda had to squint to see it. The cabinet that he was on was too far from them.

"It looks real," Falman said returning to Roy via a throw.

"It's actually made of plastic. The band is covered with gold foil while the diamond is fake. It's a little girl's costume jewelry. She lent it to me after I bribed her with a cookie. I'm giving it back to her tomorrow. It's a miracle that Maes didn't notice. He went through a couple thousand looking for Glacier's ring."

"It's a good imitation. But it probably would have been less risky if you brought a real one and just gave to the lieutenant as a late birthday gift or something."

"Yeah, that probably would have been a good idea. I just don't like to go jewel shopping. I only do it to woo a woman. Good thing Riza isn't like other women. Probably scold me if I took her jewel shopping saying that my time would be better used doing paperwork. It'll be nice if she didn't think of her work or more appropriately my work all the time."

"Sir, please pardon any insubordination or rudeness but I don't think you should be saying such things like that," Fuery said. "The lieutenant had eyes and ears everywhere. She wouldn't like to hear you talk about her like that."

"Damn. You're right. I don't want her to add any more to my punishment."

"Anyway, we should round up everyone in the mess hall," Falman said. "The lieutenant colonel should have changed into casual clothing and be at the park by now."

"Alright, let's go men."

"May I make a suggestion first, sir?" Fuery timidly asked.

"What, Fuery?"

"I think it would be a good idea if we get rid of the naughty magazines on the floor first. Lieutenant Hawkeye won't be happy to see _your_ office floor covered with them."

"How did those get there?"

"That would be Breda's and my doing," Falman said. "Part of our plan to get Havoc back to his perverted self."

"Let's get this cleaned up so we don't end up in the infirmary…again"

Roy led the group with Hayate trotting next to him after their little clean-up session. Fuery followed closely behind the two. Falman was behind him pulling Havoc along with him. And Breda brought up the rear since he still insisted that Hayate was a monster out to get him. They all walked through the hallway until they made it to the mess hall. From there, Fuery and Falman split off to inform everyone about the meeting via telephone, secretary, or just running down all the hallways yelling about a meeting in the mess hall for everyone, whatever their choice. The rest entered the mess hall. There wasn't really anyone there since lunch was long over. Roy made his way to the center of the food line. Breda had grabbed a chair along the way and set it down for Roy to sit on while they waited for everyone to arrive.

Roy watched as soldiers trickled into the mess hall. Hayate sat next to the chair while Breda was sitting on a table trying to snap the dazed Havoc standing in front of him back into reality. The soldiers that were walking into the room were confused about what was going on. When they saw the famed colonel sitting there, they were starting to think that something interesting was about to happen. Whenever that man was involved, there was always a good show whether it be him running away from the lieutenant colonel or him cowering in fear from his lieutenant. The thought of his lieutenant crossed some of their minds. Plenty of people have heard rumors of their newfound relationship. Soon the mess hall was filled with every available soldier and officer. Roy was then joined by Falman and Fuery. He then climbed on top of his chair and spoke. His commanding voice got everyone's attention.

"You all are probably wondering what is going on," Roy began. Most of them murmured some form of affirmative of his comment. Some of the women officers were looking at his rather strangely while others were practically drooling over him. "I'm certain most of you have heard the rumors about my first lieutenant and me."

"What rumors?" a soldier called out.

"Mainly the ones where the two of us are dating," Roy answered. There were several nods and "yes" from them, mostly from the females. "Well, I am here to tell you that none of them are true. I'm sure that most of you have noticed that everyone from my command and several select individuals have been acting very peculiar this week. This has all been a ruse."

"For what, sir?" another soldier asked.

"To keep a certain lieutenant colonel in the dark about what today really is."

"And what so special about today?"

"It's Lieutenant Colonel Hughes's birthday. I, along with others, have been doing a bit of interference to keep him from remembering this so that we can give him a surprise party. The thing between with Hawkeye and me was just to distract him since we all know how he wants me to get a wife, particularly a certain blonde."

"So you and the lieutenant aren't dating?" a female voice asked.

"Of course not."

"But why not?" another female asked. "And we were so sure that the two of you were finally dating. It's obvious to everyone that you have a thing for her."

"The lieutenant and I have nothing but a professional and friendly relationship. Any other type of relationship is strictly forbidden by the military."

"Is that all that's stopping you?"

"I thought I made it clear that are no romantic feelings between us. We are nothing but close friends."

"And if there wasn't the fraternization law, then what?" a male voice questioned him.

"Then nothing. I think all of you have been exposed to Hughes for too long. It sounds like everyone is trying to hook me up with my first lieutenant."

"Yes," chorused throughout the room accompanied with a bark.

"What is it with you people? I'm not getting involved with her. Surely there is someone among you that agrees with me." Timidly a hand was raised amongst the horizon of red, yellow, brown, and black. Roy almost didn't see it because it jerked down for a second before coming back up. "Thank you. I see there is at least one person."

"Who is Lieutenant Hawkeye?" the owner of the hand asked.

"New recruit?" Roy blankly asked.

"Yes, sir!"

"Put your hand down."

The hand went down with several snickers from people near the poor recruit. Roy was beginning to get irritated with this new turn of events. He had originally come in to tell everyone about Maes's birthday party and order them to help, but now he was having to deal with his love life once again. At the same time, he was scolding himself for not hiding his feelings for Riza better. He didn't think he was that obvious. He knew Maes would figure it out but not everyone in Eastern Command. It was hard enough trying to figure out if Riza loved him. Maybe he should get some lessons from her on how to hide your emotions from everyone…followed by a nice, long make-out session.

"Come on, sir," Falman said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "We all thought it was inevitable."

"Yeah," Breda egged him on. "There's been a five-year bet about when you two would finally get together as well as others."

"Such insubordinations!" Roy exclaimed as he stepped down from his chair and walked to the two. The others watched and waited for the fate of these two. "I believe I better make an example of you two."

"It was only a little teasing, sir," Breda said taking a step back.

"What are you planning, sir?" Falman said fearing for his life.

"Falman, your punishment is to find a girl for Havoc within this room," Roy said with a mischievous smile. "Breda, you follow me."

Breda followed Roy while Falman dragged Havoc through the mass of soldiers in search of a girlfriend for him. Falman wasn't going to say anything about his 'assignment' after he heard it. He saw how Roy's thumb and middle finger twitched. Despite the fact that Roy wasn't wearing his gloves, he still feared for his life. Roy walked a few paces until he reached a door. Breda was behind him.

"Please enter," Roy said after opening the door. He gestured for him to go in. Breda was hesitant about this command. He didn't have a clue about what his punishment was, but after some internal battle he finally walked in. It was best that he did not anger Roy more than he already had. When his back was turned to everyone else, he didn't see the evil smirk on Roy's face. "Hayate, Playtime!"

Hayate darted from his spot next to Fuery, a few feet from where Roy was, through the door which led into a janitor's closet. After he was safely in the room, Roy immediately closed the door and locked it. And for good measure, he shoved a chair under the doorknob. He coolly walked back to the chair he was previously standing on and took a seat. Fuery was by his side listening to the blood curdling screams from Breda and happy yips from Hayate that Roy was apparently ignoring.

"How long are you going to leave him in there?" Fuery asked. No one was really sure if he meant Breda or Hayate. Most were leaning toward the latter since they all knew about his fondness for animals, particularly the first lieutenant's puppy. "We still have to set up the party things."

"I'll wait until Falman has found a girl for Havoc," Roy answered. He laughed at the face that Fuery had made that comment. The poor guy looked grief-stricken. "I'll let him out after ten minutes since we have so much work to do."

"That's good. I don't want Hayate to be too tired that he won't be able to find the lieutenant when we need him to."

"Right, I forgot about that." Roy snickered a bit. Only Fuery would care about a puppy while one of his friends was in agonizing pain. After Roy calmed himself down, he turned his attention back to the other people in the room. "Does anyone else have something they want to say?"

"No, sir!" they shouted.

Roy sat there listening to all that was going on around him. Anyone could easily tell that he was trying to keep from laughing so hard. Fuery had pulled up a chair and was sitting next to him, worrying about the things he was hearing. The other soldiers were talking amongst themselves since it would be a couple of minutes before things would start back up. Falman was still running around asking the female officers to go out with Havoc and getting turned down every time.

"Just one date," Falman begged. "You can leave after five minutes. Hell, you don't even have to show up. I just need you to agree to it."

"Help!" Breda shouted through the door. "The monster is trying to get me!"

"I'll pay you."

"How can you all be so cruel! This is inhumane!"

"Please, I'll pay for everything. You can bring someone else to be your date. I'll just put him in a little corner."

"Beast! Beast, I tell you! Why won't you believe me?"

"Anything. You can choose. I don't care how expensive the jewelry is. Restaurant, too."

"Why are you lifting your leg up like that?"

"No, I don't think you're his type. Yes, I think your mustache looks good on you. Sorry, I'm busy tonight."

"Oh my god, he's trying to eat my face off!"

"No, I won't be his date. And I'm definitely not going to give him a goodnight kiss. I believe I have been traumatized enough."

"That's it!" someone shouted. A red-haired woman pushed through the crowd until she reached the pathetic-looking Falman and zombie Havoc. She grabbed Havoc by the collar and pulled him down to connect her lips with his. One hand held the collar as the other grabbed the back of his neck so that she could deepen the kiss. Havoc's eyes snapped back to life. His arms flailed for a second when he felt a tongue enter his mouth. But before he could figure out what was going on and return the kiss, the tongue left his mouth. He stood looking around to find himself in the mess hall surrounds by what looked like the entire Eastern Headquarter personnel. The redhead quickly wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and turned her attention to Falman. "I'll get back to you with my request."

"Uhh…sure," Falman dumbly agreed.

"Yo, Havoc," Roy called from atop his chair. "You back with us?"

"Huh?" came from Havoc's mouth as he continued to try and figure what was going on. "Yeah…sure. I guess so. Umm…what are we doing?"

"Just telling everyone about Maes's birthday party. You can ask Falman what happened with you later."

"Okay."

"Sir?" quiet voice asked.

"Yeah?" Roy answered.

"Should we let Breda out now?" Fuery asked. "It's actually been fifteen minutes since he's been in there and Havoc is back. So should we?"

"Oh yeah. I forgot about him. Yeah, go ahead. Let him out."

Fuery swiftly left Roy's side to the janitor's closet to retrieve Hayate. It was apparently a funny sight when he opened the door because laughter roared from behind him. Breda was in the top left corner of the room, currently on top of the shelves. He had situated himself where his back was pushed against two walls and the ceiling. His arms were placed firmly against the wall while his feet were on some shelves. He was covered in some form of liquid and gunk. For some reason, he had a broken stick in his mouth. Also it looked like he was missing one of his boots, which was currently in Hayate's mouth who was sitting in the middle of the room thumping his tail against the floor surrounds by total chaos.

"Hayate!" Fuery cheerfully called for him. Hayate dropped the boot and ran into Fuery's welcoming arms. Once there, he was showered with affection from him. Fuery turned his attention to Breda when he was satisfied that Hayate wasn't harmed. "What are you doing?"

"Protecting my life," Breda answered after he spit the stick out of his mouth. "What do you think I'm doing? My imitation of a spider?"

"You do know that there's a spider next to you."

"Where?"

"Just kidding."

"Fuery, I'm tempted to hurt you right now. I've just gone eye to eye with the devil incarnate and you're making fun of me."

"How can you say something so mean about Hayate? He's only an adorable little puppy. Anyway, you can come down now. We're about to continue the meeting."

"Just keep that c-creature away from me."

"Okay."

With that Fuery walked back to the colonel, Hayate still in his arms. Breda cautiously made his way down. He didn't get to move very far on his own because the shelves at that moment decided that they wanted to say hi to the ground. His weight was too much for the old and apparently rotting shelves. All of them went tumbling down. Breda emerged from the wreckage seconds later with the mop bucket on his head, its contents drenching his uniform. It was the most interesting smell that anyone had ever smelled, but to say that it was nasal burning was an understatement.

"Eww," Havoc shouted. "And I thought cleaning up after Hayate was bad."

"Sir?" Breda asked.

"What?" Roy answered.

"Permission to shower."

"I insist. Take a half hour and make sure that you scrub really well. I hope it isn't permanent."

"You and me, both."

Breda quickly left the area, must to the pleasure of the others. As a precaution, all the windows were opened. Everyone took in a deep breath of fresh air. While they were waiting for Breda to return, everyone decided to find ways to entertain themselves. Roy went into the kitchen to get a sandwich. Falman was discussing terms with the redhead from earlier. The two of them were currently hiding under one of the tables because Havoc was looking for the woman that kissed him. Fuery was playing with Hayate but was most definitely not alone. He was surrounded by some familiar women.

"Hey, Fuery," Rhia greeted him.

"Hi," Fuery replied. "Where's Beka?"

"Over here," a voice called to him. With some pushing, Beka managed to get through the crowd of women surrounding Fuery. "For some reason they wouldn't let me through."

"That's because we like Fuery," someone shouted.

"Hey, hands off!" Rhia and Beka yelled.

"So what are you guys doing on your dates next week?" Clare asked.

"Yeah, what are we doing?" Fuery asked. "The two of you were going to decide."

"My, this is a change. It's usually the guy that takes charge of the date."

"Wish I had a guy like him sometimes," one woman said.

"Can't have this one," Rhia said. "Anyway, we couldn't decide who went on a date first so we decided that there would be two dates next week but it will be with the three of us instead of just two."

"Next Saturday, we'll go to a dinner and then a movie," Beka stated. "And on Sunday, we'll have a picnic together."

"That sounds great," Fuery said. "The lieutenant will probably let me bring Black Hayate if I asked her. That is, if you want me to."

"Of course, we love Hayate."

"Yeah," Rhia added. "He's just so cute and very well trained. I'm sure he would love to spend a day in the park with us."

"Then it's a date," Fuery said madly blushing. "Umm…dates."

"Hey, I'm back!" Breda shouted upon entering the room. "Let's get this over with. I'd like to get this House of Horrors week done."

"Alright," Roy said. "Everyone gather round so I can explain everything."

Roy began explaining what really happened that week, though he did leave out some very important details about his relationship with Riza. When he was done telling everyone why his command had been making complete fools of themselves that week, they began to nod in understanding. It wasn't every day that the colonel had set fire to a hallway while chasing a certain insane man, who was carrying a camera with very provocative pictures in it. At one point they started laughing when Roy had explained the fake date and Havoc, Fuery, and Breda's short-lived cross-dressing career. They were mostly laughing at Havoc and Breda because the women were sticking up for Fuery. Roy had thankfully left out the part about Fuery's kiss with Maes; he had done enough to the young man. He also told of the nightly sleepovers to divert their attention away from his relationship with Riza. Seriously, he knew what they would have thought if he didn't explain that he hadn't spent those nights alone with her.

"And that brings us to the present," Fuery said after Roy had finished. "We'll be needing your help, if you don't mind."

"We're in," the women chorused.

"I guess," some said.

"Not like we had a choice," someone said. "Lieutenant Colonel Hughes will rant to us about how we didn't help or go to his party."

"And with pictures," another added.

"And for the rest," Roy began. "I'm making it an order. Now let's go to the site."

The crowd split like the Red Sea allowing Roy to pass through. He walked out Headquarters with the whole lot following behind him. The other personnel that weren't able to make it to meeting, mainly the inspection team, joined up with them after Grumman had seen the group leaving the building. Their fellow officers were happy to explain the whole thing to them and tell them of the show they had missed. Roy was in the lead where he was once again trying to explain everything to Riza's grandfather while at the same time avoid the proposal question the man always asked. Breda was at the rear of the entire group because Hayate was walking with Roy. Fuery had been pulled into the pool of women while Havoc was a distance away sulking at all the attention they were giving the flustered man. Falman was there to keep him company.

"Don't worry about it," Falman said slinging an arm around Havoc's shoulders. "You'll find a girl."

"How?" Havoc whined. "It was hard enough with the colonel, but I'm losing all hope now that Fuery has unintentionally become a ladies' man. And he doesn't even know it."

"Look on the bright side."

"Indulge me. What bright side?"

"At least you're not in the first lieutenant's shoes right now."

"Thank god for that."

"Although it might be worse if you were in the lieutenant colonel's shoes instead."

* * *

And this chapter is done. Sad to say, but there's is only about three or four chapters left in this story. Now that my classes are over, I'll actually have time to write. Meaning I should be back to my weekly update, given that I don't have writers' block. Sorry that this didn't have any royai. The next chapter probably won't have any either since it's mostly Maes and Riza. At least there was a little romance with Fuery in this chapter. See ya! 


	22. Chapter 22

I really hate this. I haven't been able to do weekly updates. You would think that with classes out that I would have more time to write/type this story. But I haven't. What is it with people and June weddings? I've already been to six of them, more if they didn't require me to leave the state. Anyway, the story. Roy's fake plan with Maes and Roy's real plan overlap each other, so sorry if you get confused. Well on with the chapter. Enjoy!

* * *

After Maes had changed into some casual wear, he immediately took off toward the park. He was already on bad terms with Riza, and he didn't want to make it worse by arriving for Roy's picnic date late. Although he was certain that she would still get mad. He just hoped that she wouldn't turn it toward him. During the course of a week, she had already destroyed his precious camera, shot him in the arm and leg, used one of his kunais on him, and just plain scared the shit out of him. He didn't want to think about what else she was capable of doing to him if she was actually pissed. Sometimes, he wondered how Roy could be in love with her. The man was afraid of her as well. In the end, Maes believed that's how love worked, no matter how strange it was. After all, many people must have thought the same thing when Glacier fell for him. 

Maes didn't know how long it had been since he left headquarters but knew it had been a while. It was then that he noticed that the whole time he was running, he had been doing it aimlessly. Roy hadn't bothered to tell him which park Riza was waiting in. Now he was sure that he was going to get shot at. At this rate, he would be at least ten minutes late. And there were three parks that he had to choose from. He would have ran back to headquarters and ask Roy since it was probably quicker but decided not to, thinking that Roy and the others must had already left. So he decided to randomly pick one.

Someone out there must have liked him or pitied him because he had chosen the right one. He had found Riza about midway through the park. She was leaning against a tree, staring at her feet. Maes had almost walked by her because he nearly failed to recognize her. She actually looked like any other ordinary person out for a day in the park. Riza wore a simple white sundress with matching sandals. The necklace containing her engagement ring was safely hidden under her dress; all that could be seen was a chain. She held a simple handbag. Her hair had been left down. As Maes was standing there, gaping at her, several men had tried hitting on her. Most had instantly left when she glared at them but there was still one persistent guy. Maes deemed it was time to cut in. He didn't want the poor guy to get shot; he saw Riza's hand start to twitch, a sign of what was going to happen.

"May I ask what you are doing?" Maes calmly asked.

"None of your business," the guy spat. "Can't you I'm busy here?"

"That's my sister you're talking to. It's not a good idea to mess with her."

"It's alright, Maes," Riza spoke. She appeared calm but one look in her eyes told Maes that he should back away a couple of feet. Maes knew that she was ticked off. He hoped it was because of the idiot in front of him and not because Roy wasn't here for their picnic. And if it was the latter, then god help this poor soul. "I'll deal with him."

"Yeah, listen to your sister," the guy smugly said.

"Don't say I didn't warn you," Maes said as he backed up. Seconds later, he was walking down a path with Riza. His face was considerably pale after witnessing the scene from earlier. "I didn't think an arm could bend that way."

"It's not," Riza simply replied. "I've just got a knack for defying nature."

"And there was what you did to his leg. The whole thing only took a few seconds. I wonder if he'll be able to get out of that tree."

"He'll be fine. Someone should have called an ambulance by now."

"Remind me not to challenge you to hand-to-hand combat."

"Maybe it would be better if you just stayed on my good side. Right, dear _Brother._"

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I thought it would be more effective if I was the overprotective brother instead of just a friend."

"It's alright. We're practically family anyway. It's been nearly seven years since we first met."

"Yeah."

"But that still doesn't mean you can act all macho to save your little sister. Beside you know I can protect myself."

"I know. Nearly everyone in the military fears you. It's just an instinct to protect those close to me."

"Save it for when Elicia starts dating."

"Like hell I'm going to let someone take my darling angel away from me."

Riza just laughed at the overprotective father walking next to her. She knew that he was never going to change when it came to things involving his sweet daughter. It, at least, made a part of this chaotic world constant. The two of them continued their walk in silence as they enjoyed each other's company. It was rare to find Maes not spouting about his daughter and Riza not instilling fear into everyone's heart.

"He's not coming, is he?" Riza said out of the blue. She looked up at Maes with a sad smile. Of course she was only acting. Everything had been planned down to the exact second for her half. The idiot from before was a minor interference, but she had set some time aside for such things. "That's why you're here instead."

"No, it's not that," Maes said slightly panicking. He really didn't want to get caught in any crossfire for what was going on. He knew what was probably going through Riza's head at the moment and it was far from the truth. It was absolutely far from it. From the moment he saw the spark in Roy's eyes every time they were centered on Riza, he knew that Roy wanted to spend at much time as he could with her. So now, Maes was going to do everything in his power to keep Riza happy until Roy finished with the plan. Or, at least, the plan that he was told. "He had something important to do and asked me to keep you company until he finished."

"So he ditched me to go out with another woman and you came so I wouldn't be lonely. Figures this would happen."

"That's not what I said."

"But it's what I read between the lines. You said he had something important to do, meaning I'm not important to him. Why should I be? I'm just his subordinate."

"But you're more than that to him, Riza."

"Maes, I've never lied to you about my feelings for him. There's no point in that. So do me the honor of not lying to me."

"But I'm not."

"Maybe it's best if I give up on thinking that we'll every be together."

"No. Don't give up."

"It's better if I did. There's no point in waiting. He'll never look at me as more than a subordinate. I won't degrade myself to act like the women he uses. And I don't think I can stand to see him show off his latest conquest anymore. I'm giving up."

Riza wasn't entirely acting at this point. She had constantly felt this way before Roy had actually confessed his feeling for her. At one point, she honestly believed that he only thought of her a subordinate. Lucky she found that they were at least friends of some sort. But that still didn't keep the hurt from entering. Her heart ached every time he bragged about the latest woman he was with to the others but she managed to hide it from everyone. All except Maes. But now, everything was wonderful even if in secret.

"But…" Maes began.

"My heart is breaking, Maes," Riza said with sad eyes. "I need to."

"Riza…"

"Let's just drop it. I was actually supposed to be happy today."

"Umm…alright."

"Let's get out of here. I'm don't feel like being in the park anymore."

Maes just nodded his head as he followed Riza out of the park. He was too busy thinking of how to change Riza's mind about her feelings. The day that Roy had finally come to his senses and was going to propose had to be the day Riza decided that she was going to give up on loving him. It wasn't Maes's day, much like it wasn't everyone else's day. He was too lost in his thoughts to notice where they were going. It was exactly what Riza had hoped for. The two of them had walked back to headquarters. Instead of going to the main building, Riza had veered left into the direction of one of her favorite places. She noticed that the courtyard was empty and it was almost eerily quiet. That meant that Roy was in the mess hall telling everyone about what had been going on.

"We're here," Riza said knocking Maes out of his thoughts.

"We're back at headquarters," Maes said surprised with a hint of panic. He looked around a bit to trick Riza into think that he was looking around to prove his statement while he was actually taking a peak to see if Roy and the others were still around. And lo and behold, he spotted them…and every other officer in the mess hall. '_Roy's definitely going all out if he's getting the entire Eastern command to help. Then again this is Roy I'm talking about. He has to do everything big. Now all I have to do is convince Riza that he loves her.'_ Maes quickly turned back around so that Riza would catch what he was staring at and ruin the surprise. He nearly went chalk white when he saw that she was staring at him. He gave any uneasy cough to cover up anything. "Why are we here?"

"I need some cheering up," Riza said with a slight smile. She knew that it was a bit dangerous to bring Maes back to headquarters with Roy still there but this was part of her plan. Like Maes, she had seen Roy through the mess hall window but showed no sign that she knew he was there. It seemed that Maes had accepted that fact. "This place always cheers me up. Besides I need to punish you for the café incident earlier. Or did you think what happened with you and Hayate was it?"

"But haven't I been through enough?" Maes whined.

"Fine, I'll just go look for Mustang and give him a piece of mind for standing me up."

"NO! You don't need to do that. I've been a bad boy and need to be punished. So let's get this over with."

"If you say so."

They walked inside the building that they were standing in front of them. Maes had never actually been in this building. It was off to the side a distance away from the main building, a place he never needed to go to. As soon as he walked in, he immediately set out to get away from that place, but Riza had swiftly grabbed his wrist and prevented his escape. She dragged him farther in until they came to a booth with a man stand behind it.

"Hey, Sniper," the man called out.

"Hey, Tank," Riza replied.

"Sniper?" Maes said confused. "Tank?"

"His name is actually Sergeant Nick Zeller," Riza answered. "Tank is my nickname for him since he is constantly fascinated whenever they come up with new tank designs."

"And Sniper is my nickname for the lieutenant," Zeller continued. "I've heard of her abilities during the Ishbal war. I never believed it until I saw it first-hand when she shot a fly from three hundred feet away, thus the nickname."

"I didn't think you were friendly toward anyone outside our little group," Maes directed to Riza.

"I wasn't the first week I meet him," Riza said.

"That's because I kept asking her out," Zeller sheepishly said. "I stopped when she aimed her gun at me and fired. It grazed my ear. I still have a scar."

"Oh," Maes knowingly replied.

"But I do come here everyday so after a while I got use to him. He reminds me a lot of Fuery except without the animals. More like with guns."

"Yeah, I let her test the latest guns and ammo before anyone else," Zeller explained when he saw Maes's confused face. "She's a bit more tolerant of me since we first met but I'm still scared of her."

"You and the rest of the military," Maes simply said. Riza didn't even bother to deny it. She knew it was true. Her lack of emotions paired with her gunning skills could easily terrify someone. "Even Major Armstrong is scared of her."

"But he's so huge and his alchemy is incredibly strong. The lieutenant doesn't even reach his shoulder. How can he be afraid of her?"

"I'm standing right here," Riza said in a deadly voice. "So I suggest you change the subject immediately."

"Yes, sir," the men yelped.

"Uhh…Lieutenant Colonel, you're higher ranking so why should you…?"

"Because I value my life. I'd rather live as a cowardly man than a brave fool."

"Ahem," Riza said.

"Right," Zeller squeaked. "So, Sniper, what are you doing here? Didn't you have a date?"

"It wasn't a date, just a picnic," Riza replied. "And he couldn't make it. He had something important to do. The lieutenant colonel came in his place."

"Bastard."

"Hey!" Maes shouted.

"Oh, I didn't mean you, sir. I meant the other guy."

"Oh. Carry on then."

"Do you want me to beat him up for you, Sniper? That is if you haven't already gunned him down."

"I'll deal with him later," Riza replied. "I just need some cheering up...and to get rid of some anger."

"Want me to get your regular booth ready?"

"No, I want to use the outdoor range today."

"Alright. Will you be joining as well, Lieutenant Colonel?"

"Of course," Riza answered for him. "He's graciously volunteered to be the target for me. Go suit him up in the special gear that just arrived last week while I go get the gun and ammo for this exercise."

Riza promptly left the two of them and headed for the storage room in search of her supplies. Maes was understandably shocked about what was going to happen to him. He was a ghostly white and his mouth had hit the floor. Zeller was feeling terribly sorry for the man. If it had been any other sharpshooter, he would have said no and suggested the regular targets. So instead he simply carried out his orders. He dragged Maes into the changing room normally for the workers and suited him up.

"Sir, this outfit will cushion the bullet but it's still going to sting like crazy."

"I hate my life," Maes said when he recovered from shock.

"I know and I feel sorry for you but everything will be okay. What you're wearing is a newly improved vest that will slow a bullet down upon impact."

"That doesn't help."

"In this case it does. Sniper will be using special bullets. In fact you probably can't even call them bullets since they can't kill you, only cause a bit of pain. They have been specially made for new cadets to avoid friendly fire on certain training exercises. Instead of having a metal tip, there's a small capsule full of paint. This way the cadets can know what they hit and learn to improve their aim without killing anyone. There's only so much that you can learn from stationary targets."

"So I don't have to fear for my life like I usually do?"

"Nope. And as a consolation I even put some extra padding since the shooter is an expert. It'll be like someone is pinching you."

"And what about my head?"

"There's a helmet that goes with the outfit."

"Thank goodness."

"The only advice I can give you is to run and hide as soon as it starts."

After the preparations were completed, the two of them walked through a door that led out into the outdoor range. The range was enclosed so Maes would only be able to distance himself a certain length. Luckily there were plenty of tress and bush available for him to hide behind. Riza was already out there waiting for them. She had the gun in hand and ammo on a belt wrapped around her waist. Plastered on her face was an evil smile that made Maes want to run back into the building and board himself in to escape her. He decided not to since it would only make things worse for him and Riza most likely knew all the entry points so it was no use.

"Ready," Riza said upon seeing them.

"Ready as I'll ever be," Maes answered.

"To make it easier on you, I'm not actually going to be out there chasing after you. I'll stand here and just shoot. That should help your chances of coming out with only a minimal amount of bruises."

Maes nodded his head as he got into position. Zeller stood a few feet behind Riza with some earmuffs and a clipboard. Riza was sporting the same earmuffs from where she was standing. As soon as Zeller yelled 'go', Maes dashed out into the trees. He stupidly turned to look back when he noticed that Riza had yet pulled the trigger. At that instance, he heard the screech of a bullet and snap of his head. He ended up tumbling into a tree. As fast as he could, he scrambled behind that tree.

"Damn that hurt," Maes mumbled as he massaged his neck. He thought that since it wasn't a real bullet, the impact wouldn't have been as strong. Man was he wrong. He got whiplash. It figures that Riza's first target would be a headshot. Slowly he turned around to peak at Riza. Another bad move, he found a sharp pain at his chest. He should have known that it's better to be a moving target than a stationary one. "Pinching, my ass."

"You okay out there, Maes," Riza called out.

"How the hell did you get it through the tree? And right on the heart at that? Isn't that thing supposed to be made of plastic?"

"Only Sniper has been able to do that," Zeller yelled. "No one else knows the trick. We still haven't figured out how she does any of her special shots. Be lucky she hasn't done the techniques where it goes through four trees. That tip is made of plastic so we don't how it's even possible."

"A woman's allow to have secrets," Riza said. "Ready to continue, Maes."

"Give me a sec," he answered. "That really hurt."

After Maes caught his breath, he found himself running around like a chicken with his head cut off. No matter what he did, Riza always found a way to hit him. The one that really got him was the ricocheting shot she did on him. And it didn't help that she was extremely quick when it came to changing cartridges. He didn't know how long he was running but he did know that he was really tired. Not once was he able to take a break.

"Hey, Sniper," Zeller yelled over the gunshots. Riza stopped her firing and looked over her shoulder as him. He was pointing to a small figure next to him. "You got a visitor."

"Fuery, what are you doing here?" Riza asked as she clicked the safety on.

"I was asked to bring you something," Fuery replied as he stepped up next to her. "He said that he was sorry that he couldn't make. The higher-ups had called an emergency meeting about a squabble outside of the city and he wasn't able to get out of it. He gave me my orders during a quick break."

"So it was something important after all."

Fuery handed her the picnic basket that he was carrying. Riza placed it on the floor to look through it since there wasn't a table of booth out there. While she was bending down, Fuery had secretly sent a wink to Maes; hopefully he understood what it meant. Maes at that point didn't care. He was finally getting a break. Riza had gone through one side of the basket to find food and drinks.

"I had gone to the park to give to you since he forgot to give to Hughes," Fuery explained. "But neither of you were there so it took me a while to finally get this to you. I forgot that this was one of your favorite places."

"I needed to get rid of some anger and cheer up a bit."

"Understandable. Is the lieutenant colonel still alive?"

"He'll be fine in a bit."

"That's good."

"Zeller," Riza called out as she pulled out a drink bottle. Zeller came to her side. She hand the drink to him. "Give that to Maes. He's probably dehydrated from all his running."

Zeller ran off to where Maes was sitting, propped against a tree. Riza and Fuery watched as he did that. When they noticed that he wasn't coming back, probably making sure Maes was alright and giving some advice, they went into their true conversation. They kept it at a whisper despite how far the other two were from them.

"We still have a bit to do," Fuery began. "But we should be done by the set time, a half hour pass at most."

"And the presents?" Riza questioned him.

"They arrived as scheduled."

"Any trouble?"

"Not really. There was a small incident with Breda and Hayate but that was quickly solved. And your grandfather won't quit until you and the colonel are married."

"So nothing new. And has Armstrong been behaving?"

"Yes, your threat is doing its job."

"Good. Is there anything else?"

"Umm…check the other side of the basket."

Riza turned the basket around and opened the other lid. There sitting in the basket was Black Hayate with a white rose in his mouth. Riza picked his up and held him against her chest. She pulled the rose from his mouth and savored it scent before putting it back in the basket. Attached to Hayate's collar was a small notice. She removed and opened it. Her and Fuery began reading it. A deep blush graced both of their cheeks.

"Fuery," Riza coughed as she shoved the note back into the basket. "Forget what you just read."

"Way ahead of you," a flushed Fuery said. Maes and Zeller rejoined the group when they saw the other two get up from their kneeling positions. By then the two of them had managed to get their cheeks back to normal. Hayate was snuggled against Riza's chest. "I should get back."

"Alright."

"Have a nice picnic with Hughes."

"You mean he's not done yet," Maes questioned him.

"No, not yet. He said if it isn't too late after he takes care of the rebels then he'd come take his place back. But if it is, then he'll come afterwards and take the lieutenant to dinner."

"Oh, I guess I'll keep Riza company 'til then."

"Well, I'm off."

"Hey, aren't you taking Hayate with you?"

"I'm sure that Hayate would enjoy a picnic with us," Riza said as she petted Hayate. "Right, boy."

Hayate answered by snuggling deeper into Riza's chest. He gave her breastbone several licks before looking up at her with imploring eyes, accompanied with a whimper. '_If Roy was here and saw that, he would immediately wish to trade places with that pup,'_ Maes dryly thought. But at this point, he needed to come up with a way to get rid of Hayate. The pup wasn't supposed to be with them.

"I'm sure Hayate would like to stay with Fuery," Maes stated.

"I think he would want to be with me right now," Riza said.

"But…"

"Is there a reason why you don't want Hayate to join us? He is my puppy after all."

"I agree with the lieutenant," Fuery piped up. "I'm sure Hayate will have fun in the park. He doesn't need to be anywhere but with his owner."

Maes got what Fuery was telling him. Hayate wasn't necessary to find them anymore since it was obvious where he and Riza were going to be. So once again Maes was going back to the park where he had first found Riza waiting. Hopefully that guy from earlier was gone and had learned his lesson.

"I guess so," Maes said.

Maes gathered up the basket before the three of them walk out of headquarters. Zeller went back to finish his shift at the shooting range, but Riza did give him a sandwich and drink for his help. Fuery stayed with them until they got to the park entryway.

"I've got to go," Fuery said as he started walking away. "Havoc needed my help after I finished the colonel's order."

"Wait," Riza said. Fuery stopped where he was. She walked up to him, which was a good distance away from Maes. She bent down and gave him a kiss on the cheek. Fuery blushed deeper when he felt her whispering into his ear. "Tell Roy that I can't give him one if he's not here to get it so I'm giving it to you instead."

"Yes, sir," Fuery said before he took off running.

Riza laughed at his embarrassed face. He was just too innocent for his own good. It was no wonder that many female officers found him adorable. When she calmed down, she made her way back to a confused Maes. The two of them and Hayate made their way into the park. They found a quiet little place among the trees, away from any crowds.

"So what was that with Fuery?" Maes cautiously asked as Riza spread out the picnic blanket.

"Just thanking him for the picnic basket," Riza easily replied.

"Okay," Maes said. He set the basket onto the blanket between him and Riza. Hayate was perched on top of it. While Riza was smoothing out her dress, Maes had busied himself with setting the food out. As he was pulling out the sodas he caught a glimpse of a small piece of paper. Intrigued, he pulled it out. "What's this?"

When Riza saw what Maes was holding, her mind just went into overload. Her hand swept forward just as he was about to unfold, but missed when his hand moved out of reach. A sly smirk crawled onto his face. He quickly guessed the note must have been from Roy by her reaction. But unexpectedly, Hayate jumped from his perch and snatched the paper when he sensed his mommy's distress about it. Maes moved to grab him, but Riza pushed down onto his stomach and sat on him.

"Hayate, destroy it," Riza commanded. Hayate started shredding it into little bits and pieces with his teeth and claws. Maes went slack jawed at the fact that he may had just lost undeniable proof, or it would better called as blackmail, of Roy's feelings. He had the pictures from the date but Roy could easily dismiss them by saying something about the angle of how they were taken. Riza was happily smiling from her place on Maes's back. She didn't want to go through any torture with Maes's comments if he had read it. "Good boy."

"That was from Roy, wasn't it?"

"I don't know what you are talking about. It was just a scrape of paper."

"Right. Could you get off me?"

"Don't know. You actually make a decent bench."

"Come on, Riza."

"Probably wouldn't be complaining if it was Glacier instead me here. The two of you alone in a park. God knows what you two would be doing."

Maes flushed a deep red when he actually thought about what he and his wife could be doing in a park alone. When he looked up after feeling the weight leave his back, he found Riza looking down at his with an amused look. She clearly knew what he was thinking. Maes immediately colored a deeper red as he sat up. He cleared his throat to help his uneasiness.

"I could ask you the same thing involving Roy," Maes said defending himself.

"None of the things that are going through your mind. I'm a very private person. Besides this was suppose to be our first picnic alone but…well you know what happened."

"Ah, yes. It's nice that you two are finally spending some time together. I wish you two would be more intimate with each other. I guess I'll have to be content with the date last night."

"Yes, the date last night. What do you know of it?"

"Just some photogenic moments."

Seconds later Maes whipped out his stack of pictures from that night and shoving them into her face. He then went on and on about how great it was that Roy finally asked her out and how right he was about them. Riza calmly got her purse and pulled something out. She promptly cleared her throat, causing Maes to stop his rambling. Seconds later, there were pictures in Maes's face and Riza was mimicking his rambling. Maes sat there wide-eyed at what was in his face. There were pictures of him and Fuery from that night. It was where they were gazing into each other's eyes as they were leaning close to each other; at least that's what it looked like.

"You two make a cute couple."

"How the hell did you get that picture? I watched the two of you like…well, like a hawk."

"I knew that you were there. Did you really think that I wouldn't know that I'm being watched? Beside I knew that you would follow us after Roy told me that you had tricked him into asking me out."

"Not tricked, just gave him a little pushing."

"More like a shove. Anyway, since you were playing Mission: Get Together, I came up with something as a little revenge. You weren't the only one that was there in disguise, pay attention to your surroundings. You never know who's lurking around."

"I think I know who you're talking about."

"If you're thinking Havoc, then yes, I had him spy on you. I think he enjoyed Operation: Crossdressing a little too much. Also Fuery and I had a nice chat in the bathroom when I cornered him."

"God, Havoc was that blond thing that walked in during dinner. But his date?"

"Falman. So Maes, how 'bout a trade? Your pictures of me and Roy holding hands for these gazing pictures."

"Deal."

"Now about that one with me kissing Roy on the cheek…"

"No way. It's too good a picture to trade."

"Not even for this one of you and Fuery kissing?"

Maes's face immediately paled when Riza waved that picture in from of him. There he was lip-locked with Fuery. If this picture ever got out, his life would be ruined. Many would think that he was a good for nothing cheating husband. Or they would think he was playing the other field if they found it was Fuery in the picture and not a woman. Not only could it and probably would mess up his life but Fuery's as well. There were plenty of things that could be said about him dressing up as a woman. The female officers would understand with help from Rhia and Beka but the men would be ruthless, and Fuery was too innocent for this.

"Oh…My…God! You got a picture of that! Wait, how did you get a picture of that? If I remember correctly, now that I know Havoc and Falman were there, weren't they the couple that helped the pregnant woman to the hospital? He couldn't have taken the picture."

"Ah, yes, the pregnant woman. She was played by our remaining group member."

"Remaining group member?" Maes gulped. "I'm guessing Breda."

"Yes, and the child was play by our very own Edward. They needed a way to get to the park before the rest of us."

"You mean everyone was in on it."

"Of course. After you kidnapped Fuery, we started planning. He was let in on it when I saw him in the bathroom."

"The whole date was faked!"

"Yes, though your kiss with Fuery was rather unexpected."

"All my hard work gone down the drain. And I thought you two would finally get married, or at least start dating. God knows everyone is waiting for that."

"You know I'll only go on a date with Roy if he asked me of his own free will. There's no need to pressure him. I'm use to waiting so it's not a problem. Things will happen on their own time."

"I guess, but I'm still going to bug him. It would be a major catastrophe if I didn't. People would think the world was ending if I didn't cause him some anguish."

"As long as I'm not affect, then by all means bug him. So…deal?"

"Deal."

The two them swapped the pictures. Maes immediately started ripping up the photos in his hands. There was no way that these were going to get into the wrong hands. Riza had pretty much the same idea, though she discreetly placed some of them in her purse for the future. Afterwards the two of them finally got to enjoy their picnic together. Riza was given a peaceful evening with Maes, one that only occurs if Glacier is there to restrain him. Maes had decided to keep his mouth shut for the time being, it wouldn't do for him to put her in a bad mood before Roy's event. They watched as the bright sun disappeared into the horizon.

"This was actually a decent day once I got away from headquarters," Riza commented. "Once you learned to keep your mouth closed."

"Yeah, yeah. I know I have a big mouth, but it's good to chat."

"Haven't you heard that silence is golden?"

"Nope."

"Figures you wouldn't. Well…Roy didn't come."

"But Fuery did say that he would make it up with dinner if he couldn't get here in time."

"I wonder what he has planned."

"With Roy, you know it's going to be unforgettable," Maes said with a secretive smile.

"Lieutenant, Lieutenant Colonel," a voice shouted from behind them.

Maes and Riza turned around to find Fuery running up to them. Once he reached them, he rested his hands on his knees as hecgasped for air. He looked thoroughly worn out. Seeing the urgency in his eyes, the two immediately stood up to aid him.

"What's wrong, Fuery?" Riza asked.

"Colonel sent me to get you," Fuery breathed out. "The fighting I mentioned earlier has gotten out of control. He needs both of your help."

"You mean there really was a fight outside of the city," Maes blurted out.

"What do you mean _there really was a fight_?" Riza asked with a glare. Maes felt immensely foolish now, especially with the look on Fuery's face. It didn't take him long to figure out that this a part of Roy's plan, as soon as the words left his mouth. Too bad he didn't know that this was part of Roy's other plan instead. "You're hiding something."

"No, I'm not. I just got confused."

"We'll talk later. Let's go, if Roy really is in trouble then we better get going. If I'm to keep my promise of protect him it would be good if I was actually there to do it."

The three of them ran as fast as they could to the edge of the city. Fuery led the way as he carried Hayate in his arms. Maes and Riza were right behind him. Maes had his kunai already in his hand while Riza had her gun, which had been conveniently pulled from the holster wrapped around her leg. Fuery had led them to the edge of the city that bordered a large forest. Once there they found Roy giving out orders to the other soldiers. In the background, they could hear the guns of their fellow officers being fired accompanying their screams.

"About time you got here," Roy said changing his torn glove for an undamaged one.

"What's the situation, sir?" Riza said getting into business mode.

"The insurgents have gotten out of control. They're better prepared than we thought they were. For the pass few months they've been living in there. The normal patrols we have here don't go that deep so we don't have completely reliable information."

"Your orders."

"Hawkeye, you're with me. Fuery, you, and Hughes try to find Havoc and the others. They're in there somewhere. Use Hayate to sniff them out. Don't use extreme force, just immobilize the enemy until I get to the leader and end this."

"Yes, sir," they shouted.

Maes and Fuery set out into the forest in search of their comrades while Roy and Riza went a different direction on their mission. The sun had long disappeared when Maes had first entered theses treacherous woods. He could barely see a five feet in front of him. Clouds had covered the moon's aid and the stars gave little help. The gunshots still rang around him but so far he had not come across anyone.

"Hey, Fuery, what's the plan?" Maes whispered to get the man's attention, but got no reply. He quickly stopped when he heard some bushes moved and muffled sounds. "Fuery, Hayate, where are you?"

The next thing he knew, there was a hand clamped across his mouth and his body being held against another. There was another pair of hands holding his own hands together, and he could clearly feel rope being wrapped around his wrists. Maes struggled against them but it was no use. '_I don't think this is part of the plan. There really are rebel insurgents here. I actually got captured by the enemy. I'm never going to get to be Roy's best man. Calm down. I can get out of this.' _After they were done with their task, they pushed him in a different direction. The hand that was on his mouth was removed, which allowed him to move his head. Maes couldn't make out whom these people were. They were dressed completely in black and wore a mask of that color. All he could see were their eyes.

"Where are you taking me?" he asked them.

They said nothing but did give a little shove to indicate that he should shut up. Maes could easily take the hint. Many people had given it to him before. So he walked with them until they came across a clearing in the forest. It was a decent sized opening. By the appearance, one could facilely figure out that this was their headquarters. There were tables scattered throughout the area. Candles lit the place but not so many that Maes could see their faces. There was just enough light so that they could see where they were going without running into anyone. Soft murmurs filled the places as the enemies talked amongst themselves, planning their next moves.

"What are you going to do with me?" Maes said as the three of them walked out of the trees and stood at the edge of the clearing. The rope had been cut from his wrists and Maes rubbed them to return his circulation back to them. He was confused by this action. It was smarter to have your enemy restrained, but here they were giving him an opportunity at freedom. "I won't be of any help to you."

Before he could take a step further in or try to escape, Maes found his body hitting the ground with a weight on his chest. He tried to struggle against it, but the two accompanying him held his arms and shoulders down and others held his legs down. The clouds drifted in the sky, far enough that the moon's glow aided his eyes. Maes looked up to find wide emerald eyes staring into his.

* * *

Please don't be confused by the ending. It's all a part of Roy's plan. Well...umm I guess it's more my complex plan than it is his, my imagination. Everything will be answered in the next chapter. Sigh, too bad I won't be able to post it next week or the week after. I have a trip at the end of the month and won't get to write it until after Fourth of July. So the next chapter should be up the second week of July. Well, see ya! 


	23. Chapter 23

Okay, things didn't go according to schedule. This came out later than I had planned. Of course I didn't count on my workload increasing the moment I got back from my vacation. It should be showing down now, so I'll have more time for this. Anyway this is the birthday party chapter. At least the first half of it. It's mainly a recap of what has happened in the story. Of course, there are the funny little moments in it. Enjoy!

* * *

Maes laid there staring into those wide green eyes. There were only two people that he knew with that eye color and judging by the weight there could only be one person sitting on him at the moment. To say that he was shocked would have been an understatement. One second he was a prisoner, the next he was looking into her eyes. A few minutes later, he noticed that his captors' presences were gone from his body. He took this opportunity to sit up, where the person on him immediately latched her arms around his neck. 

"Happy Birthday, Daddy!" she chirped.

Before Maes could even open his mouth to reply, the area lit up and revealed who the true rebels were. Lights had been hung up in the trees to illuminate the place. There were several paper lanterns hanging up as decorations. The candles had been blown out since they were no longer needed. Streamers crisscrossed through the trees. There were at least a dozen tables scattered all over the place. Each had special tablecloths on them; all had images of Elicia and Glacier on them. Confetti was tossed at random throughout the place to add more color to place. One table was piled with a mountain range of presents, all in assorted colors. Near that table was a line of three that contained nothing but food on it. And not too far from that was a drink table. But the thing that stuck out the most was who were standing in front of the center table.

"Happy Birthday, Maes!" they all chorused.

Standing there were some of the most important people in his life. Glacier stood in the middle gazing lovingly at her husband. To her right was Roy with a smug smirk plastered on his face. Riza stood next to his with a small smile. Next to her was Fuery looking as innocent as he always did, holding Hayate. Maes was a bit shocked to see Second Lieutenant Maria Ross standing there. Beside her was surprisingly one of the guys that had captured him, which was revealed to be Havoc when he removed his mask. At the other side of Glacier was General Grumman giving a small wave at him. Next to him was Breda sporting a huge grin on his face. Ed and Al were next in the line. Sergeant Denny Brosh was next; who occasionally took glances toward Ross. The end was finished off with the other masked man who turned out to be Falman when he followed Havoc's action. And behind all of them was the ever-conspicuous Major Armstrong. All of them, aside from Havoc and Falman, were dressed up for the occasion.

"Oh dear, I think we've sent him into shock," Glacier said slightly chuckling when she saw Maes finally start his imitation of a fish.

"I think it's well deserved since he caused nothing but chaos for us," Roy commented. "The paperwork for the hallway I accidentally set on fire because of him still isn't done."

"Of course the catalyst for all the trouble we went through was really when Edward didn't know the meaning of stop," Riza added. "If he had listened instead of dragging me half-naked to Roy's room, none the things we went through would have happened."

"I said I was sorry," Ed whined.

"She just stating facts, Brother," Al piped in. "If you had just stopped and given her a few minutes to dress, then she wouldn't had fallen asleep waiting for us to return with her clothes and the lieutenant colonel wouldn't have found them that morning."

"You're supposed to be on my side."

"I'm on the side of truth."

"Fine, it's my fault. It's not like we can do anything about it now."

"Hey, I think he's coming back to us," Fuery said.

They were looked to find that Maes had stopped his mouth from bobbing up and down. With as much grace as he could gather at the moment, Maes stood up with Elicia in his arms. He opened his mouth to talk but it soon found its way to the ground when the rest of the partygoers started to arrive. From all sides of the area, casually dressed soldiers/co-workers walked in. Several were holding balloons with a small bag of weights at the end to keep it from flying away. There were even some brave enough to wear the silly little party hats. In the crowd, Maes had managed to spot a certain glasses-wearing brunette, who looked a bit disheveled and was panting for air, as well as Rhia and Beka. He was brought out of his reverie when there were flashes of lights. Turning back to the center table, he found everyone there holding a camera.

"It's your birthday," Glacier stated. "We need to fill our photo album with things other than our little angel."

"Aren't you surprised, Daddy?" Elicia asked when she noticed that her father hadn't said a word yet.

"Yes, Maes, aren't you happy that we did all of this for your birthday?"

"Answer your wife and daughter," Roy said smacking Maes upside the head when he still didn't answer.

"Oh, right," Maes finally said. "Yes, I'm extremely surprised. More so confused, but I am surprised."

"Yeah, we expected you to be confused," Havoc commented as he stuck a cigarette in his mouth. "We occasionally got confused ourselves, aside from Hawkeye that is. It was somewhat hard with both plans overlapping at times."

"Um…yeah. I'm going to need an explanation."

"We'll explain in a bit," Roy said taking Elicia and handing her to Riza. "I think there are some things that needs to be done first."

"Like what?"

"Go greet your wife. It's been a week since you last saw her."

"Oh, right." Maes followed Roy's advice and greeted Glacier with a loving kiss, which earned them several whistles and clapping. "So shall we get this party started?"

"One more thing first. On the count of three, everyone. 1...2...3."

"Happy 30th Birthday!" everyone cheered.

"Hit the music, Havoc."

Pretty soon the entire forest was filled with music. Maes had found himself separated from his family and surrounded by Roy and the other males. Glacier was stationed in a group of familiar women officers. Elicia was left to play with Hayate in either Glacier's or Riza's line of vision. Havoc and Falman had disappeared into the trees to change into more casual clothes. Ed had permanently situated his body at the buffet table. Al was making small talk with some other officers, but did keep an eye on Ed just in case. Everyone else was chatting, eating, or dancing. And in some cases, they were shrinking in fear when Armstrong started posing.

"Roy, how did you do all of this?" Maes asked. "Hell, I can't believe I actually forgot my own birthday."

"It wasn't easy," Roy stated matter-of-factly. "It was suppose to be simple, but you had keep complicating everything."

"No kidding," Breda added. "We constantly had to keep changing things. The plan was simple. All we had to do was distract you from remembering you own birthday. Sure we did that, but we could have done without the physically and emotionally pains."

"Believe me when I say we all got our fair share of that," Falman said when he and Havoc had rejoined them.

"I think I got more than my fair share," Havoc seethed. "If I didn't know any better I would have thought you were all against me."

"So how about including me in all this secrecy," Maes.

"It's a long story."

"I've got some time until the cake and presents."

"I guess I'll start at the beginning," Roy said. "It all started when I ordered Fullmetal to find Riza since she was the only one missing at the time of our first meeting. I should have known that something would have gone wrong when I sent him. He returned with Riza wearing only her undergarments and towel wrapped around her body."

"After some planning, the rest of us decided to hit the sack," Havoc continued. "Ed was sent to get her clothes since she was only wearing one of the colonel's shirts at the time, and it was his fault."

"I must have come along a few minutes after you all left," Maes commented.

"Believe me, I was in a panic when I heard your voice through the door," Roy said. "I had shoved Riza into my closet. I knew things weren't going to go our way when you jumped back in to find Riza in my arms."

From there everyone took turns telling the story of what happened. They were getting in to it. There were several times that they were just flat out laughing their heads off. Tears were coming out of their eyes and some were holding their stomachs as they reminisced Hell Week. Many of the other people had gathered around to hear the whole version since the abridge one that Roy told them didn't give much facts. By this time Roy and the others had grabbed chairs to sit on since this was going to be a long night.

"The pipes bursting was another wrench thrown into our plan's gears," Havoc dryly said. He still remembered what happened when he opened the door to his room. It was just a bit, but he was starting to hate water like Roy did. "And I thought that I was traumatized enough with the billboard incident."

"Speaking of wrenches, where's Winry?" Maes asked. "I kind of expected her to be here, no doubt Elicia kept asking for her."

"Don't know," Fuery said looking around. Roy had stood up and looked around for her as well. The others had joined in the search for the automail mechanic. "We invited her to it."

"Hey, Fullmetal Shortcake!" Roy shouted above the crowd.

"Who you calling a short piece of baked good!" Ed yelled as Al held him back.

"Wow, he didn't exaggerate with his comeback," Falman commented.

"Yeah, yeah," Roy said waving it off. "Anyway, Fullmetal, where's Winry? You were supposed to pick her up at the train station this evening."

"Oh, shi-" Ed said as he broke away and dashed through the trees.

"Brother, wait for me," Al said following him.

"Edward's going to come back with bumps on his head, isn't he?" Fuery asked. "And Al will probably have some dents in him."

"With her temper, I'm betting that Ed will be unconscious," Havoc said. "Al will have to carry him back here."

"That wouldn't surprise me," Falman said.

"Anyway, back to the story," Roy said sitting down and motioning everyone else to return their attention back to him. "With the dorm, Havoc's room, and mine out of condition, we needed to find a place to sleep."

"You obviously slept in Riza's room," Maes said with a sly grin.

"Yes, and so did the rest."

"Except me," Breda added. "I bunked with Ed and Al."

"And Armstrong stayed with me," Maes continued. "We had so much fun, stayed up all night telling stories about our families. Isn't my Elicia so adorable? She was so brave to jump on me. I could have hurt her. My precious little…"

"STOP!" everyone screamed.

"Maes, this is your birthday," Roy said annoyed. "You can talk about your daughter another day. Beside we took precautions so that she wouldn't hurt."

"Back to the story," Havoc said trying to ease back on topic. "The first night in Hawkeye's room was quite entertaining."

Havoc continued the story, telling Maes of the many comical incidents they had from the slap that Roy got from Riza to the cuddling scene of Fuery and him. There were howls of laughter at this point. The two of them sat there blushing from head to toe. To get the attention off of him, Fuery began the tale of how the other men ate Hayate's ice cream. Maes had taken the opportunity to take pictures of Havoc, Falman, and Roy's embarrassed faces. Afterwards they continued on with the long tale better known as their lives the past week.

"Ooh, let me tell this part," Maes said in a giddy voice. It was somewhat weird to have him telling a part of the story when he was the one that the story was being told to. Although he wasn't exactly being told the entire story. Roy was no way in hell going to tell them about all the moments he had alone with Riza. The merry band of subordinates had agreed, was really threatened, not to tell anyone of the moments they had actually witnessed. "When I heard that Roy had slept in Riza's room, I made it my job to coerce Roy into telling her his feelings."

"Haven't seen that happen?" someone remarked. "It's completely obvious the man's in love with her."

"Yeah, sir," another added. "We're all waiting for you to finally tell her."

"Stay out of my personal life," Roy ordered. "It's not completely obvious if she hasn't noticed it."

"Oh, believe me," Maes started. "She's noticed it. She just doesn't say anything about it so your work relationship isn't ruined."

"That or she doesn't care," Havoc said, earning a smack on the head. "Not like you have a chance with you being a playboy. "

"Quit trying to put me down," Roy said. When it came to Roy and Riza's relationship, they were going to lie about it. The privileged idiots had agreed to it as well. Still it peeved Roy to hear comments about him not standing a chance when he already had her heart. "I haven't done anything to you for a week now."

"Compared to what you've done before that."

"Back to my little story," Maes interrupted. He didn't need a fight at his birthday party, and he really wanted to put his story telling skills to use. "I had managed to get him to admit his feeling as well as get him to ask her out. It was a beautiful date."

"Too bad it was fake," a soldier said.

"If it was real, I wouldn't have mind all the things that Rhia, Beka, and Hughes had put me through," Fuery commented.

"At least you got two dates out of it," Roy reminded him.

"As compared to the rest of us," Havoc remarked. "After all I went through, I got beat up as my reward."

"Same here," Falman and Breda added.

"That's what you get for borrowing their clothes without permission," Fuery said. "And for trying to put all the blame on me when you pushed me in the women's locker room with the stolen items."

"We're getting a bit ahead of ourselves here," Falman said, not quite ready to relive those memories. "Before the incident with the female officers, we had spent the second night in Hawkeye's room again but this time we had some other visitors."

"Because of Breda's ability of creating earthquakes with a mere snore, Ed and Al joined us," Havoc joked.

"I do not snore!" Breda exclaimed.

"You keep telling yourself that. Anyway, Ed and Al decide to spend the night with us since there was nowhere else they had to go to escape the noise. But they, or rather Ed, decided to bang on the door to get us to let him in. At this point Riza was the only one asleep and the rest of us were playing cards. The noise was starting to wake Riza up so Hayate told it upon himself to stop it."

"When I finally decided to let them in, all the noise was bound to wake everyone else up, I opened the door to find Ed sprawled across the floor with Hayate attached to his leg," Roy continued. "Al was trying his best to separate the two."

"See I told you dogs were evil," Breda pointed out. "They're out to get us, and Hayate is their leader."

"No, Hayate only attacks anyone that tries to hurt his mommy," Maes said.

"He has a particular fondness for biting my hand," Roy said slightly rubbing his hand.

"And we all know why," Havoc remarked.

"Yeah," everyone else piped in.

"Whatever," Roy shrugged. "Let's continue with the rest of the story so we can get to the cake."

"Well…nothing else really happened that night, aside from the usual fights between the colonel and Ed," Fuery began. "Although, Hawkeye did get Ed to drink milk. But the next morning, we all nearly had a heart attack when Hawkeye said that her grandfather was coming."

"It was nearly two heart attacks for me. Al and Riza decided to play a trick on me, and I almost ended up having to explain the birds and the bees to Al."

"Don't worry," Maes said with a wave of his hand. "Riza and I already had that talk with them a while ago. It was an enlightening day."

"When did then happen?" Havoc questioned Roy. "I don't remember this."

"You were all still asleep," Roy explained. "This was before the compromising positions you all awoke to. You know before you and Fuery started rubbing against each other again, and I was trying to kill Fullmetal."

"What is it with Havoc and Fuery feeling each other?" Maes asked. "I know both of you are straight…hopefully."

"I hope not," a guy in the crowd said. "Havoc, do you need me to give you my number again?"

"No!" he shouted. "I'm though and though a female lover!"

"Too bad. We could have had a good time."

"Havoc, maybe you should take his offer," Roy said through his laughing. "It has been _a while _since you got some."

"Shut up!"

"It's alright if you want to play the other side," Maes joked. "At least Roy won't be stealing this one away."

"That's it! I'm taking your present away and everyone else can just go to hell."

Havoc crossed his arms and looked away as everyone else laughed at his misfortune. Roy and Maes was the loudest of the group. The kindest of the group was Fuery, who was only lightly snickering. By now the rest of the Eastern command officers were listening in. Riza and Glacier were getting the cake and everything else ready. Elicia was left in the capable hands of Armstrong, who volunteered to watch her. Everyone was glad for that because he was no longer posing for them and was instead playing tag with her and Hayate.

"After that chaos, it wasn't long before we were scrambling to hide," Fuery began again. "Havoc, Falman, and Ed ended up in the closet. Al hid in the bathroom, where it was the best place to hide…if we had used our brains for a second to think of that. I was under the bed."

"Oh, so there was someone else there besides my granddaughter and her colonel," Grumman jumped in. "I had a feeling that there more than what I was seeing when I decided to surprise them with breakfast. Though the little kitty did throw me off a bit."

"After that, Hawkeye decided to get ready for work so the rest of us, beside the colonel, left."

"This must have been before I decide to make a surprise visit as well," Maes interrupted. "I came in to see Roy getting kicked out of the bathroom by Riza. And you're supposed to be Mr. Suave, Roy. You should have known better to follow her into the bathroom."

"It was an accident," Roy tried to defend. Of course, it wasn't an accident. He was in reality trying to have another make-out session with her when Maes had barged in. "The rest of the story can be told by Havoc and the others. I'm going to get a drink."

"Alright, try not to flirt with Riza too much."

"Shut up!" Roy shouted as he made his way through the crowd and to the refreshment table.

"So who's up?"

"I'll continue," Fuery spoke up. "We had to return all the things we had taken from the women officers. The others had unanimously volunteered me to do it since I actually had permission and wouldn't get beat up."

"Of course, we didn't expect all the women to get friendly with him," Havoc bitterly said. "We went through the same thing that he did."

"Yeah, but we knew what he did," one female said. "We didn't know you were involved as well."

"And you could have asked us for help," another one.

"We didn't have time," Breda countered. "And no one was suppose to know about our plans until later."

"Yeah," came Havoc's help. "And we tried to explain when you were all chasing us through the hallways after Ed told you we were listening at the door."

"And that's another thing," the first female speaker said. "You were cowards by pushing poor Edward through the door. First you tried to put all the blame on Fuery then on Edward."

"Such an innocent boy," a different woman commented.

"I doubt his mind is innocent anymore," Havoc said. "You were all smothering him when he got up from his fall."

"That's because he's such a cute boy…just like Fuery."

"I'm cute, too. Why don't I get breasts shoved in my face?"

"Because you're a perverted, underwear fetishistic, old coot."

"I'm younger than the colonel!"

"Yea, but he's the colonel. Can't really compare to him, Havoc."

"She's got you there," Falman pointed out.

"And you should be helping me or at least defending your own honor," Havoc shot back.

"Well, I am old, but other than that I am a gentleman. It's probably why they didn't do much to me when they tied us to that pole."

"That and he already explained to us how he was involved," Rhia stated. "He also apologized."

"You told them about the plan!" Havoc shouted. "We made a promise not to tell even under dire consequences."

"I only explained my actions to Rhia and Beka, under Fuery's advice since they knew about the date, and they explained it to the others. Also it was during the time that Colonel Mustang was explaining the plan to everyone else. Besides it's not like _I_ actually took any of their things."

"He's got a point there, Havoc," Breda said tapping his chin. "You and I were the ones that actually stole the things since Falman and Ed were the only ones that were going as a male."

"See."

"And I'd like to apologize as well. I should have done this earlier. And I will admit that will occasionally be perverted, but I am a guy. So I wouldn't be surprised."

"We forgive you, Breda," Beka spoke for all the female officers. "Havoc?"

"Yea, yea. I'm sorry, too."

"As much as I love seeing Havoc get picked on and humiliated, I would like to hear the rest of the story," Maes said with a smile. "You can began at the end of the day since I was with Roy during your bondage and with Riza during the inspection to know that nothing really happened."

"There were only a few accidents involving the colonel and me spacing out that afternoon so go ahead, Fuery."

"Alright," Fuery almost chirped. "We had just finished doing a run-through of the plan before you had just walked in. All that was left for us to do was tell everyone else about our plans and keep you distracted. So we came up with a fake plan for you to follow."

"Oh, the dinner proposal," Maes said understanding. "And the picnic with Riza."

"Our distractions revolved around the colonel's love life since we all know that you like to meddle in it, as can be since by the past few days. So we left it up to Lieutenant Hawkeye."

"This is where I come in," a voice said.

"Zeller," Maes exclaimed as he gave the man a handshake. "You were part of it, too."

"Yeah," he replied. "Sniper had came and told me the plan a little bit before she had brought you to the range."

"While you were dealing with her, we were telling everyone else what was going on and getting their help," Breda said.

"If they just found out it this evening, then when did they have time to get presents for me," Maes questioned.

"We went through downtown to get here," Falman answered. "We spent about a half hour shopping before coming here for decorations."

"And while they were shopping for gifts, I was preparing a picnic basket for you," Fuery added. "It kind of stuck us that you and Hawkeye couldn't have a picnic without food. The colonel forgot that he was suppose to bring it."

"Also at this time, I went to pick up your special presents," Falman said.

"My special presents?" Maes asked with his eyes twinkling.

"You wife and daughter, sir. Ross and Brosh volunteered to escort them. Scieszka arrived at a later time with some of your friends from Central."

"Anyway, after Falman got you wife and daughter, they left for here," Fuery continued. "I left to bring the basket to you. It did take me a while because you really weren't at the park. So I went to the range."

"Yes, I remember this part," Maes nodded. "Riza was using me as a target."

"Things started getting confusing because I had to tell the truth to Hawkeye but lie to you. After that, I left to help with the decorations. A sort of lie when I said that Havoc needed my help."

"I actually had a nice picnic with Riza," Maes threw out there.

"Yeah, while you having fun, we were busting our butts off to get your birthday party ready," Havoc said. "Which brings me to a question. How come Armstrong wasn't posing or sprouting out his family history? Not that I mind."

"I can answer that," Fuery piped up. "Lieutenant Hawkeye threatened him. She said that if he did any of that then she would tell him of her heritage."

"And that would bother him, why?"

"Because her family line is a lot greater than his. Unlike him, she doesn't like to talk about it. But you know her family is especially great. A renowned alchemist for a father and her mother was probably a great sharpshooter like her. And don't forget about her grandfather. We've all heard stories about General Grumman in his younger years."

"Well, that answers my question."

"We're back!" a cheerful voice came from behind him.

"Al, you've returned," Maes greeted him.

"Big sister!" Elicia screamed as she latched onto the blonde girl's leg.

"Hey, Elicia," Winry said patting her on the head. Her other arm was holding onto a medium-sized box. Not doubt a present for Maes. Al was right next to her carrying an unconscious Ed on his back. There were some visible bumps on Ed's head and several dents in Al's body. The weapon obviously used was Winry's favorite wench. "I would have been here sooner if it wasn't for these guys. Hope I didn't miss anything."

"Not really," Maes answered. "Fuery and the others were just telling what they went through for my party."

"Then it really isn't that must of a party if all that's being done is standing around and listening while there's music playing."

"Uh…yeah. My party sounds boring now."

"Well…the story's almost done," Fuery said. "We'll start dancing afterwards."

"Then continue, Fuery."

"After we finished decorating, everyone hid through out the forest. We used plastic bullets for the gunfire, didn't need anyone to get hurt. The rest you should know. So let's get partying!"

"Let's dance, big sister," Elicia chirped.

"Alright," Winry replied. "Let me put this with the rest of the presents first."

The crowd that had surrounded the group of subordinates dispersed and everyone started mingling. Rhia and Beka had dragged Fuery to go dancing with them. Havoc was still sulking from the comments that the women had thrown at him. Breda had gone with some of the others to do who knows what. Falman went to get some food to eat. Maes pulled Glacier onto the dance floor like the girls did. Al had to settle with trying to wake up his brother.

Pretty soon everyone was dancing with the birthday boy. Fuery was being passed between all the female officers, mainly Rhia and Beka. Falman had managed to find a dance partner in the woman that had kissed Havoc earlier that day, the one that he owed a favor to for that action. Breda had opted to go solo. Even Havoc had found someone to dance with. Scieszka had agreed to.

"Hey, Scieszka," Havoc began.

"Yes?" she replied.

"Why were you panting when you first came into the clearing? And you looked disheveled as well."

"Oh, I kind of got separated from my group. So when the colonel gave the signal, I found that I was far away from here. I had to run a distance and some of the trees got in my way."

"I see. It seems we both were having trouble today."

"Well, all we need to worry about now is having a good time. It's a party after all."

"Right."

"Hey, Havoc!" Maes shouted as he made his way him with Glacier.

"What's up?"

"Have you seen Roy? It's about time for the cake."

"Haven't seen him since he left to get a drink."

"That's strange," Glacier pondered. "I can't find Riza anywhere either."

"You don't think they're together, do you?"

"I knew it," Maes suddenly shouted. "They finally got together. They're probably out in the woods somewhere making-out."

"Really, Maes, at your birthday party," Glacier said.

"I wouldn't put it pass Mustang," Havoc immediately said.

"And Riza?"

"Uhh…no clue."

"Enough of this," Maes spoke. "Glacier, give me my camera. I need to get a picture of them."

"Fine, don't listen to me." Glacier handled him one of his many cameras. Havoc pulled out the one he had brought. Everyone basically had a camera to use. There was actually a whole basket full of them on one of the tables. Roy had bought them so that everyone could take pictures of this night. It was sort of as a little joke since Maes was constantly with either a picture of his family or a camera to take a picture of his family. Upon getting his special camera from Glacier, Maes and Havoc took off running into the trees. "Try not to get lost! We can't cut the cake without you."

Maes and Havoc walked through the tree at a couple feet apart from each other so that they could cover more ground. They looked high and low for the two missing friends. Ten minutes had passed and they still haven't seen one sign of them. There wasn't even a broken twig to show that someone had gone this way. They were about to give until they heard some rustling not too far away from them.

"Hurry up," came undeniably from Riza. "They probably noticed that we're missing by now."

"I'm hurrying," followed a male voice, no doubt Roy. "You can't rush these things."

"Whatever," Riza probably said with the roll of her eyes. There was some rustling coming from them. Maes and Havoc had opted to hide behind some trees a distance away from them. Both were standing completely still so as not to give away their positions. They couldn't see what was going on but were close enough to hear them. "What's taking you so long?"

"The zipper is stuck. Can you do for me?"

"Fine. Hold still. I don't want anything to get caught in it."

Both Maes and Havoc were biting their lips to keep from laughing or making any type of noise. They had a pretty good idea of what would happen to them if Roy and Riza caught them. Maes already had a good idea of what Riza would do for the punishment of spying. Adding Roy to the equation would only spell death to them. Havoc was losing the battle. Right when he was about to laugh, he heard something that drained the blood from Maes's face.

"What are you doing, Uncle Roy?"

"No, Elicia!" Maes shouted as he ran to where they we. "Shield your eyes!"

Maes and Havoc ran to find Riza kneeling behind Elicia with her hand holding the zipper of Elicia's dress. Roy was next to them with his hands behind his back. He had raised an eyebrow at the sudden appearance of his friends and Maes's outburst. After the initial shock of seeing Maes and Havoc, Riza went back to finishing her task. She zipped up Elicia's dress and stood up. Elicia attached to her hand to one of Riza's as she turned to face her father.

"What are you doing here, Daddy?" Elicia said puffing out her cheeks.

"Yes, explain to us the 'shield your eyes' to us as well," Roy demanded.

"I meant nothing by that," Maes answered uneasily.

"Uh-huh. Right."

"And I was just looking for Uncle Roy and Auntie Riza. I didn't know that you would be here, too, Sweetheart."

"And why were you looking for us?"

"Uh…umm…It is time to cut the cake. That's it."

"Let's get going then," Riza said as she began to walk away with Elicia.

"Wait!"

"Yes?"

"What were you three doing out here?"

"I bought Elicia a new dress and she wanted to wear it. Roy had put it in your present pile instead of giving it to Glacier like I told him to."

"I said I was sorry," Roy quickly stated.

"As I was saying, I found it when I was straightening up things. Elicia insisted that she wear it that instance."

"Why?" Maes asked.

"So you can take pictures of her."

"You said you were happy whenever you took pictures of me and Mommy," Elicia smiled. "So I changed into a new dress since you already had pictures of me in that other dress. That way you can take more pictures of me and be happy."

"Aww," came unexpectedly from Havoc. "That's just so sweet."

"My little angel," Maes gusted as he opened his arms for her. Elicia jumped into his arms where she was showered with kisses. Little hearts surrounded the two of them as the other three inched away from the over sugary scene. "You made me so happy."

"How 'bout we get back to the party?" Riza suggested. "Glacier's probably noticed that Elicia isn't there by now. She's must be worried."

"Yeah, let go," Roy agreed.

So the four of them walked, while Elicia was carried, back to the party area. Just as Riza had predicted, Glacier was worried. They found everyone looking around the place for Elicia. Some were looking for her under the tables, others were actually climbing the trees in hopes of finding her. They finally took noticed of the missing five when Hayate ran to them, barking his head off.

"Elicia!" Glacier shouted with joy when she reunited with her daughter.

"Hi, Mommy!" she hugging her. "Why is everyone on their knees or in the trees?"

"We were looking for you, Darling."

"But I wasn't playing hide-and-seek. Auntie Riza was just changing me into my new dress."

"Oh," everyone said.

"Well, let's go cut the cake," Maes said trying to get pass this awkward moment.

"Yay, cake!" Elicia shouted. Everyone had circled around the center table where the cake. In actuality, the cake covered the entire surface of the table and layered several times to feed the amount of people that was attending. Each layer was a different flavor. The bottom was plain or yellow cake. Next was chocolate and then strawberry. After that was carrot cake. And it was finished off with cinnamon swirls. The icing was a simple white. It was decorated with flowers of various colors. And of course, it had the signature 'Happy Birthday' on it as well thirty candles for Maes's age. The cooks had been told about the plan well before anyone else that day by Riza. They had spent most of the day baking, icing, and decorating. And then transporting it was another tough job. After singing the birthday song and the traditional first cut into the cake, everyone dug in. "Yummy, cake."

"I especially like the cinnamon swirls they did," Glacier said.

"I like all of them," Ed commented. He had successfully been revived by his brother. Winry had promised not to whack him with her wrench for the remainder of the party. And Al was making sure that she kept her promise. "We should do this more often."

"I think not, Fullmetal," Roy said eating his cake. "I don't feel like going through all that again, and I think you don't either."

"We don't need to do all _those_ things, just blindfold him next time. I'm talking about the party and cake."

"Figures you would be talking about the food."

"At least we have another year before we have to do this again," Riza said from between them. "It'll give us plenty of time to prepare for that week."

"Can you just leave me out of it next time?" Havoc said. "I got most of the negative side effects."

"Hopefully, it will be simpler next year. Right, Edward?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Here, Hayate, have some cake," Elicia cheerfully said as she gave him some. She was sitting on the ground next to the pup, sharing her cake. Actually she was sitting on Fuery's lap as he sat on the ground and ate his cake. "Look at him eat, Uncle Kain."

"Yes, he's just gobbling it up," Fuery humored her. "He just loves cake."

"As much as he loves me?" she asked with innocent eyes.

"No, he could never love cake more than you."

"How 'bout Uncle Jean? Does Hayate love cake more than him?"

"That's another story."

"I'm done!" Elicia suddenly said. "Is it present time now?"

"Yes, can I open my presents now?" Maes said like a child.

"Alright," Glacier answered.

Maes and Elicia basically skipped to the presents table. Glacier followed behind them, shaking her head at her husband's childishness. The others followed behind her. They all circled around the table as Maes tried to decide on what present to open up first. Riza held up Elicia so that she could get a better view. Originally she had volunteered to collect the wrapping paper after Maes was done with it but Glacier had insisted that was her job, saying that Riza had already done enough for the party. Everyone else waited for the unveiling of the first gift. Some were still eating cake as they stood there.

"Which one should I open up first?" Maes said.

"How 'bout mine?" a male voice said from behind all of them.

* * *

The story is almost done. The next chapter is the end of the party. _Everything _will be answered. I won't say when I'll be updating, since I can't seem to stick to what I say. So just be on the lookout for it. See ya! 


	24. Chapter 24

**I'M ALIVE!!! **Yes, it has been a long time since I have updated. Sorry for that. I've been extremely busy that I don't have that much free time to get on my laptop as well as the internet. I'm just glad there are still people reviewing for me to put up the next chapter, although I'm surprised that no one had threaten me. Now on to the long,_ very long_, awaited chapter of Embarrassed Meeting. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own it.

* * *

Nearly everyone jumped at the sound of that familiar boisterous voice. All eyes snapped to an opening in the trees where said voice came from. Upon seeing and confirming their suspicions, everyone showed their respect for the man. Most were standing at attention and saluting. Even Little Elicia had her right hand to her head, standing on the presents' table. It would have been a perfect imitation of the stance that every soldier was taught if it wasn't for the fact that she was smiling and waving her free hand at the new arrival. Hayate was also mimicking the soldiers, though couldn't really be seen amongst the tall crowd. The other guests, those not in the military, give a polite bow to him. 

"I see that I was in time for the presents," the voice continued as he walked toward Maes. His entourage followed closely behind, some carrying neatly wrapped boxes. As the group got closer, the crowd broke apart to create a pathway directly to Maes. Roy was next to the birthday boy while the others of their close-knit group were behind them. It was completely silent until the retinue stopped at their destination. "But before I give you your present I think it's best that I wish you a happy 30th birthday, Lieutenant Colonel."

"Thank you, Fuhrer, sir!" Maes said still stand at attention. "This is a surprise. I didn't expect you to come to my birthday party."

"At ease everyone," Fuhrer King Bradley commanded when he noticed everyone's state. As ordered, the soldiers relaxed and lowered their hand. Upon seeing things ease up, Elicia promptly jumped back into Riza's arms. "I was told that this was surprise party when I was called yesterday afternoon so I'm doing my part in surprising you."

"You've really out done yourself this time, Roy. You got the fuehrer to go to my little, old birthday party. I didn't know you loved me that much, Sunshine."

"Maes, I only love you like as a brother so quit with the endearments," Roy blankly replied. "You're seriously making me think you're playing the other field despite your marriage to Glacier. First Falman, then Fuery, now me. It wouldn't surprise me, now, if you started tongue-wrestling Havoc. And for your information the fuehrer wasn't my doing."

"You told him!" Falman shouted at the sound of his name. "We were suppose to erase that from our memories."

"Why can't I forget that night!" came Fuery's pitiful yell at his name.

"Don't include me in this," Havoc followed up. "I haven't kissed a guy in my entire life."

"What's wrong with guys kissing other guys?" Maes asked, which resulted in many inquiring stares at him. "I mean girls kiss other girls. Right, Glacier?"

"Sorry, dear," Glacier responded. "My lips have only touched those of the male species."

"Riz-I shouldn't even bother," Maes corrected when he remembered whom he was talking to. "Umm…anyone?"

"I've kissed a girl before, Daddy!" Elicia exclaimed. Maes promptly widened his eyes at this sudden revelation of his daughter. Glacier and Riza almost had to bite their bottom lip from laughing at the facial expressions of most the men there; no doubt their heads were in the gutter. But both women knew exactly what Elicia meant by her statement, which said girl decided to prove. She gave a quick peck on Riza's cheek. "See Daddy, I kissed Auntie Riza, and she's a girl."

Nearly everyone that had dirty thoughts face-faulted into the ground at Elicia's explanation. Serves them right for thinking that about an innocent little girl. It was no surprise that of the guys only Fuery, Ed, and Al were left standing. Fuhrer Bradley was slightly chuckling with General Grumman about this little ordeal. The same could be said about the women.

"I'm so glad that I rearranged my schedule to come here," Bradley said when everything cooled down.

"I'm glad that you could make it, sir," a female voice responded.

"I probably would have come anyhow, just to see what some have said about the current status here."

"Yes, the reports you've surely been receiving since this whole thing started must have been...entertaining."

"Most were about how everyone had gone insane or in another person's word 'Eastern Headquarters has become a loony bin. Please send help'. The explanation you gave during your phone call yesterday did help clear things up for me."

"It wasn't like any of the others were thinking about their jobs at the time, sir. I knew what the situation would have been if I hadn't assured you of our abilities."

"Still…I kind of wish that I came here sooner. That way I could have seen everything. There was one particular report that caught my eye."

"Which one, sir? If you don't mind my asking."

"It was a grievance from Lieutenant Havoc. He stated that the female officers here had inflicted both physical and emotional damage for actions that he was ordered to carry out by a superior. Can you explain this to me, First Lieutenant? Or would you like the honors, Lieutenant Havoc?"

"I'd rather not explain this again, sir," Havoc answered. "We already had story time."

"I guess the first lieutenant then."

"If you wouldn't mind until a little later, I'll explain everything in better detail then from when I was on the phone with you," Riza said. "Due to the time constraint, there were several other incidents that I did not get to mention."

"Very well then."

"Can we open presents now?" Elicia eagerly said as she bounced a bit in Riza's arms.

"Of course, my dear. Now let's forget formalities and finish this party."

"Yay! Present time!"

"Hey, Riza," Maes called before the unwrapping started. "The fuehrer being here isn't your present to me, is it?"

"No," she replied. "You'll be opening my present last. Well…second to last."

"Okay. Let's get started. I believe you offered your present to be my first, sir."

"I did, didn't I?" Bradley smiled. "Juliet."

"Here, sir," his secretary said as she handed him a brown envelope that appeared to be about half an inch thick.

"I believe this is something you have wanted for a long time," Bradley said as he handed the object to Maes.

Maes took it and immediately began inspecting it. It looked like a regular envelope that he often put documents in to be sent out. There was nothing out of the ordinary about it, not even any writing. Done with his inspection, Maes twisted the string to release the flap. Inside it were several sheets of paper, most likely documents.

"Are you sure this is the right envelope?" Maes asked a bit confused by the gift. "It didn't get mixed with another?"

"No, this is the right one," Juliet answered. "I checked it before we left the office to take the train here."

"If you say so."

"Hurry up, Daddy," Elicia said anxiously since they were still on the first present.

Maes pulled out his "gift" from the envelope. There was a blank sheet on top. The thing that got Maes was the yellow post-it on it, telling him to read the next page aloud. He looked into Bradley's eye with a really confused expression. Fuhrer Bradley just gave a nod that indicated for Maes to do what was on the little piece of paper. Not really caring anymore about his confusion, Maes just shrugged his shoulder and moved the blank sheet to the bottom of the pile. Clearing his throat, he began to read the paragraph surprising done in the fuehrer's handwriting.

"After all the calls you have given me this past week, along with those from General Grumman, I have come to a decision. There was a meeting with the other generals in Central, and they have agreed to it with certain conditions. None of which really restrains the true purpose of this document and its results. These conditions will be explained at an assembly later on. Now let's get to the real point of this whole thing. I, Fuhrer King Bradley, declare the removal of the anti-fraternization law."

Maes's mouth was wide open. Several flies probably could have flown down his throat and he wouldn't have known it. The final obstacle of being Roy's best man had finally been overcame. When Maes took this into account, he immediately shot his eyes toward Roy. Everyone else followed suit. Roy now had to deal with everyone's eyes on him. It didn't help that Riza was standing next to him, with Elicia, when Maes finished reading that, in his word, cursed document.

"What are you all looking at?" Roy nervously asked. Of course, he knew why they were all looking at him. Riza didn't seem to be bothered by the attention. That was just like her. "Maes, why don't you start opening the rest of your presents?"

"Shouldn't you be doing something right now?" Maes asked back with a sly smile.

Maes had decided to make the best of this rare opportunity. Roy was practically sweating bullets now. He knew what Maes wanted him to do, but why in front of everybody and the fuehrer, too. Of course, he had already asked her, but nobody aside from the two of them knew that. Well, Hayate probably knew about it by now. There's something unnatural about that puppy, though it could just be because Riza was his mother.

"Sir, there's something else written on the paper," Fuery said, drawing the attention away from Roy, which he was thankful for. Fuery was looking over Maes's shoulder and pointing at the document. "Right here."

"Oh, there is something," Maes said as looked at where Fuery was pointing. A smile quickly came onto his face as he scanned it. He once again cleared his throat and began reading the final part of the page. "P.S. Make sure Colonel Mustang remembers to send me an invitation to the wedding. Actually make sure the colonel stays out of the lieutenant's way when she does the wedding preparations. That way I'm sure to get my invitation."

"You too, sir!" Roy shouted right when Maes finished reading.

"My wife thinks that you two make a good couple," Bradley commented.

"Yay! Uncle Roy and Auntie Riza are getting married!" Elicia yelled hugging Riza, before turning to face Roy. "Can I have some cousins?"

Roy was full on blushing after that comment. Even Riza had a tint of pink on her cheeks. She just patted Elicia on the head and whispered something in her ear, which kept the small girl smiling. Maes and most of the other people were laughing at the face that Roy was giving them. The only one that was showing some sort of restraint on their laughing was Glacier, who was trying to hide it behind a hand.

"Now, Sweetheart, Uncle Roy has to ask her first before anything else happens," Glacier said still slightly laughing.

"Well, Roy, what are you waiting for?" Maes cheerfully asked. "Hurry up and get on your knee."

"Ask for my granddaughter's hand already!" Grumman added.

"Go ahead," Bradley encouraged. "The documents have been passed already. It's legal to ask her now."

"How the heck did Maes's birthday party lead to this?" Roy grumbled out.

"Quick stalling and do it," Maes shouted. "Practically everyone in the military has been waiting for this."

"Especially me!" Havoc yelled. "Hell, every man in Amestris has been waiting for this. We can finally have girlfriends that don't dump us the second they see you."

"Yeah!" every male chorused.

Roy just muttered something under his breath as he turned to Riza. He took Elicia from her arm and handed the child to Glacier. Riza just stood there and smiled as Roy reached his hands to the back of her neck. He fumbled with the clasp for a few seconds before finally getting it unhooked. The ring slipped off the chain and onto Roy's right hand. He pocketed the chain before grabbing Riza's left hand with his. The engagement ring slid smoothly onto Riza's ring finger.

"Well, you can finally wear it on your finger now," Roy said grinning.

"You already asked her!" Maes screamed as he ran and grabbed Roy's shirt collar. He roughly started shaking him as he continued his rant. "I didn't get to take any pictures."

"That was the point. I didn't want anyone around for when I did it."

"He was quite romantic about it," Riza commented. "You should have seen where he took me. The field of flowers was really beautiful in the moonlight, especially with the pond."

"Though you almost crushed all my hopes with that trick you pulled."

"Payback for all those bragging and womanizing comments you made in the office. Be happy that I love you enough not to pull out my high-powered rifle on you."

"She's got you there, sir," Havoc said. "I'm surprised that you're still alive after all that you put her through."

"Shut up, Havoc," Roy said. "I know what I've done, and I'm going to make up for it for the rest of my life."

"Believe me," Riza began with an edge to her voice. "He will."

"Umm…I love you."

"I love you, too, but that's not going to keep me from taking you to the outdoor shooting range. I need to train you not to flirt anymore, need to get rid of that playboy attitude. Unless you want the shortcut, I'd be somewhat willing to shoot off Mr. Happy for you."

"No, no, I'll go through the training."

"Best of luck," Al said smiling. "I've spent a lot of time with the lieutenant in the ranges while Brother gave his report. It's always empty when we go there."

"And there's a good reason for that," Zeller spoke up.

"Everyone be quite!" Maes bellowed, silencing everybody while he still shook Roy. "I'm trying to get some answers here. I don't need to know how terrifying Riza is. I've already experienced first-hand her gun wrath."

"What do you want to know, Maes?" Roy asked as he tried to loosen Maes's grip on his collar.

"When?!"

"When, what?"

"When did you ask her?"

"That's only for me and her to know."

"Tell me!"

"Why?"

"Because this is the first time you have ever been able to keep a secret from me, and throw in the fact it involves Riza. So tell me everything. When did you start dating? That fake date was suppose to be the first one. Don't tell me you've been keeping this from me for years. Oh god, when did you confess your love?"

"I can tell you that," Havoc jumped in. "He admitted that the night the pipes busted. We kept haggling him until he finally caved in the next morning. At least that's what he told us."

"But when did Roy and Riza start dating?" Maes questioned Havoc. "Surely they would have gone out a couple of times before either of them admitted their love."

"Actually, I would like to know that answer as well. So Chief, when was the first date?"

"I'm not telling any of you," Roy answered.

"Come on," both Maes and Havoc whined.

"No."

"Please."

"Why should I tell you something this personal?"

"Because your romantic status has always been public knowledge," Maes answered. "So why change things now."

"You always brag about it," Havoc added.

"This time is different," a voice replied. Maes and Havoc soon found a sharp pain coursing through one of their ears each. Riza had yanked their ears when she noticed how bad Roy was handling the situation. While Roy had been dealing with Maes, she had been whisked away by Glacier and the female population present. Her grandfather was the only male crowding her. Most wanted to see the ring. Others were asking her questions, most of which Riza didn't give an answer, while the rest were congratulating her. "Especially since I'm the woman involved."

"Ow, Riza, that hurts!" Maes complained.

"Ouch, not so hard!" Havoc pleaded.

"Now both of you give it a rest," Riza said shoving them each into a chair. "Unlike Roy, I keep things in my life private. So what we do is our business. If anyone wants to say otherwise, you know what will happen."

"Right," Roy piped in.

"Shut up, Roy."

"Yes, Dear."

"Now let's get the rest of the presents open. It's getting way past Elicia's bedtime."

"It's only because of all that sugar from the cake that she's still awake," Glacier commented with a bouncing Elicia next to her. "We've got at least another hour in her."

"Alright," Maes grumbled. "I can always interrogate Roy tomorrow."

Maes had just grabbed a present from the pile instead of asking or contemplating which one was next. He was put off by the fact that neither Roy nor Riza would give out anything on their relationship. '_Come on. I've been waiting years for this, so had everyone else for that matter. The least they could do is give us something to chew on.' _Maes grudgingly thought as he ripped the wrapping paper off. The present revealed to be a paperweight in the shape of a camera, which had been a gift from Ross. Under the paperweight was an envelope, which upon opening was a certificate for a year's supply of film. That had been from Brosh. Maes happily thanked them for his presents, though Brosh was on the receiving end of many glares for his gift.

"Where's my baby?" a woman's voice shouted just as Maes was reaching for the next box. The crowd departed to reveal the owner. Maes immediately stood at the sight. He already knew who that person was by the sound of her voice. "There he is!"

"Mama Mustang," Maes jovially shouted as the dark-haired beauty lunged at him. Three other women soon joined the first woman in the hugging. At the sound of Roy's last name, the others quickly looked to him only to find the space he was standing in was empty. "And my big sisters are here, too."

"Now we couldn't miss our little brother's birthday," one said.

"But how did you know my party was here? I doubt Roy would have told you let alone willingly call any of you."

"After your phone call a few days ago about Roy finally finding true love, the four of us hopped on the first train out here," Mama Mustang answered. "Originally we came to have a talk with Roy but along the way we came across a soldier who told us of your party. He brought us here."

"More like we dragged him here," one of the sisters said as she pointed to the poor soldier that was laying unconscious at the edge of the field.

"That means, YOU FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!" Maes wailed.

"I believe you forgot it as well," Glacier pointed out.

"Oh yeah, forgot about that. Well, I'll let my loving Mama Mustang and sisters off this time."

"Now where's my flame baby?" Mama Mustang asked looking for her real son.

"Don't know. He was here a second ago."

"Wahhh!!" a voice resounded through party before a tangle of arms and legs came tumbling out from under the presents' table. Roy laid there sprawled on the ground ensnared by all three of his sisters. Ed had taken this time to burst out laughing at Roy's predicament. This week was just full of frustrated times for Roy. "Would you three demons let me go!"

"My baby boy!" Mama Mustang screamed as she jumped into the pile of flesh.

"Mother!" Roy embarrassedly groaned.

"Now tell me about this girl you're head over hills with."

"Get off me! All of you!"

"Tell me about your girlfriend first."

"Oh, but Mama, she's not his girlfriend anymore," Maes stated.

"What did you do this time, Roy?" Mama Mustang complained. "Don't tell me she was another one of those one-night stands."

"No!" Roy exclaimed. "Of course not. I would never do that to Riza."

"Did another man take her away from you? Because if that's the case, then he'll feel the wrath of Mama Mustang."

"And the Mustang sisters," the three chirped.

"No, that would never happen," Maes laughed as he helped the women to their feet. Havoc gave a hand to Roy, which was greatly appreciated. "Everyone's too afraid to ever court Riza. I was just saying that she wasn't his girlfriend anymore but rather his fiancée."

"Fiancée!" the four women screamed.

"How long have you been hiding out on us, Baby Brother?" one sister asked.

"It's bad enough that we have to get details about your love life from Little Brother," another said. "You should call home more than once a year."

"It's about time," the last sister said. "I'm tired of hearing how much a playboy my baby brother is."

"Are you that ashamed of your family to not introduce us to her?" Mama Mustang fretted.

"Pretty much," Roy grumbled out as he dusted himself off.

"What was that?"

"Of course not," Roy covered. "I tried to call you this week to tell you about Riza."

"Liar!" Maes whispered.

"They don't need to know that," Roy hissed back.

"It could have been after Maes's call then," Mama Mustang said thoughtfully. "We would have been on the train."

"See."

"That still doesn't mean that I believe you. After all, your father could have answered it and then relayed it to us. He did know which hotels we were staying at during the three day trip."

"Hah, she caught you," Maes said.

"At least I know where Father is," Roy said. "I was wondering why he didn't come to my rescue like he usually does when they gang up on me."

"So where is my daughter-in-law-to-be?" Mama Mustang piped up.

"Yes, where is our new sister?" one sister said.

"Over there," Maes said as he pointed to Riza.

"Welcome to the family!" the Mustang women shouted as they lunged for her.

"Wha-"

"Sorry, Maria," Riza apologized. At the sight of danger, better know as Roy's family flying at her, she sidestepped to avoid them. It was just bad luck that Second Lieutenant Ross was standing behind her. Ross ended up being tackled instead. "I forgot you were standing behind me."

"It's alright," Ross said detangling her body from the other women. "I guess it's better I get hurt then you shooting your future in-laws."

"Maybe I should have warned them about you first, Riza," Maes said sheepishly scratching the back of his neck. "Mama?"

"Yes, Sweetheart?"

"I forgot to tell you that Riza is in the military, too. And that she's also our most feared sharpshooter. So her first instinct is to attack…actually second instinct. The first being to protect Roy."

"Oh."

"If she's that strong, that means Baby Brother can't get away with any of his antics," a Mustang sister commented.

"She pretty much has him wrapped around her finger," Maes stated.

"She's perfect for him then."

The Mustangs had calm themselves down enough so that Riza wouldn't be tempted to pull out her gun. She may have been wearing a dress, but that didn't mean that she was unarmed. With them being related to her future husband, she had to be more alert than ever. And it didn't look like Roy was going to stop her if they decided to go back to hyperactive mode. During this time, Maes and the others had decided to start opening the rest of the presents. It was getting really late for Elicia to be up. And from the moment that Roy's family had come onto the scene, Fuhrer and his entourage had been sitting off to the side with General Grumman eating the remaining cake and exchanging pleasantries.

"Look, I got a new camera," Maes shouted as there were many groans in the background. "It's the newest model. There's even a timer on."

"What?" Havoc questioned when there were many death glares sent to him from his fellow officers. "I couldn't think of anything else to give him."

"Why didn't you just chip in some money with the rest of us?" Breda scolded.

"Don't know," Havoc shrugged.

"Idiot."

"Oh, I even got one from Black Hayate," Maes cheered. Everyone turned his or her attention to that gift. It had to be the most extraordinary thing since most knew that Black Hayate was a dog. Maes held up a sheet of paper that had several colorful blobs and paw prints. "He drew me a picture."

"You can use that picture frame I gave you for it," Second Lieutenant Aerin said.

"But I want to use that one for my picture of Elicia in her pink sundress."

"Then use the frame I gave you," Sergeant Alice said.

"That's one for my picture of Glacier,"

"Find my present and use that one," Zeller instantly said.

"Did all of you buy me picture frames?"

"Most of us probably did," Fuery stated.

"Goody. I ran out of them."

"No surprise there," Havoc puffed out.

"So what's next?"

"I believe that it's time for Roy's and my present," Riza said giving Maes a rectangular box.

"Oh, I wonder what it is," Maes said as he basically ripped the box to pieces. "You got me photo albums."

"Open the top one."

Maes followed her instructions by lifting the pale brown cover of the top album. There was a little inscription on the top page that he read aloud. When he turned to the next page, his eyes widened before he started chuckling. There on the first photo page were several pictures from the day that the military had gone out of whack and chaos ensued. Three pictures had been arranged in a sort of zigzag so that there was some space next to each one; there had been a short description of what was going on in that picture in that space. The first one was of Roy running. Maes had apparently thought to take it while he was running for his life that day. The middle one was of when Roy had collided with Riza and the two of them ended up on the ground, their lips locked together. The last was from after the fire had died down and Maes had climbed back up the stairs. Roy had his head resting on Riza's chest while she was just staring at the ceiling.

"How did you get these pictures?" Maes exclaimed. "I thought Riza blew this camera to smithereens that day."

"I did, I just had Edward transmute it back. Although I did leave out the ones from before the first picture. You know the ones I'm talking about."

"Aw, and those were perfect blackmail pictures."

"I know. I've made sure those pictures will never be seen ever again."

"Which I wish she didn't," Roy mumbled under his breath. "Those were some good shots."

"Shut up, Roy."

"Yes, Dear."

"My, I've never seen my baby so submissive," Mama Mustang commented. "He's always been very assertive."

"That's Riza for you," Maes said. "You can't help but take orders from her."

"Shall we go through the rest of the album," Glacier said. "The sugar in Elicia should be wearing off soon."

"Right."

They flipped through the album smiling and laughing. The next batch of pictures had been those of Roy and Riza sharing the bed in the infirmary. Roy's family had immediately awed at that scene. Most of the other soldiers were either present or already had seen a copy of it, so there wasn't much reaction from them. From there on, it was nothing but laughter. The guys had thought that it would be funny to take pictures of them getting ready for the fake date, most of Breda and Havoc crossdressing. Fuery had come across them and shown them to Riza. She had put them to good use by adding them to album. Everyone there was laughing at Breda and Havoc. Some were even pointing their finger at them. The humiliated men were bright red with embarrassment.

"What prompted you to actually take pictures of this?" Roy asked laughing. "It's easy blackmail."

"Falman!" Breda and Havoc shouted.

"I couldn't help myself," Falman began. "Temptation overtook me. I was wondering where that roll of film went."

"I didn't know that you knew how to use a bra, Havoc," Maes stated. "There hasn't been that many women in your life. I didn't think you had that much experience."

"I have plenty of experience," Havoc yelled.

"I bet he buys them due to that fetish of his," someone whispered.

"I do not!"

"We believe you," Roy said.

"Mama, tell them to stop picking on me."

"Now, now, children, that's enough fun," Mama Mustang scolded.

"Thank you."

"Sure thing, baby. Now are you still smoking those cigarettes? They're bad for you. Do I have to wash out you mouth again?"

"Of course not, Mama. I stopped a long time ago."

"Don't lie to me, boy. Don't think that I won't frisk you in front of all these people."

"Mama," Havoc whined. His commanding officer's mother was embarrassing him in front of potential girlfriends. In addition, he didn't want to give his so-called friends anything else they could make fun of him with. They had enough dirt on him to fill the country. "Can we just back to the presents?"

"Fine. I'll lecture you later."

Everyone went back to looking at the pictures. Even though the date was faked, the pictures that were taken between Maes, Havoc, and Al of it were quite romantic and beautiful. Maes had found his mouth agape, as he was shell-shocked at the appearance of the park scene. Yes, the pictures of Roy and Riza were lovely, but the one of him and Fuery sent his face paling. Everyone else that hadn't been there were silent and were sending questionable looks at Maes and Fuery. Glacier was surprisingly not shocked at this picture.

"Daddy?" Elicia asked.

"Yes?" Maes answered when he gained enough composure to. He couldn't believe that they had put that picture in there. Roy, yes, but not Riza. Now he was wondering what his wife thought about all of this. Hopefully she wouldn't be thinking that her husband was sharing a closet with Havoc. "What is it, Angel?"

"Is Uncle Kain a better kisser than Mommy?"

At that, everyone promptly fell over laughing. Go figure it would be something that Elicia asked that would break the silence between everyone. Maes fiercely denied it, with no offence to Fuery, while Roy explained to everyone about that particular incident. From there on out, there was nothing but laughter, especially at the picture of the three tied to the flagpole. The rest of the album contained other little funny moment from when they decorated the area. There were several blank pages that were most likely for the pictures that were taken at the party.

"And that is the end," Maes proclaimed as he closed the album.

"That was a great book of memories," Glacier stated from her position beside him. Elicia had found her home in Riza's arms as she was half asleep by now. Most of the people were discreetly yawning since the party had lasted longer than expected. Winry had actually fallen asleep leaning on a slightly pink Ed. "We'll have to make more memories like it."

"Hey!" Maes suddenly exclaimed.

"What?" Roy asked.

"I just remembered. Riza said that these albums were my second to last present. But there aren't anymore boxes on the table."

"I believe Glacier has it," Riza said with a grin. "You'll get it when we get back to headquarters."

"We should get going," Roy said. "It's pass some of our bedtimes."

"I'm sleeping with Auntie Riza and Uncle Roy tonight," Elicia said sleepily. She was rubbing her eyes, trying to stay awake a little longer. In the end, she just laid her head down Riza's shoulder and began to drift off into dreamland. "Mommy said…that…she was…going to…play…with Daddy…tonight. Don't…want to…bother…"

Maes and Glacier were flushed with color. They did expect her to say something like that. Everyone that were awake were sending them sly glances or smirking at them. It was easy to see the underlying message in Elicia's innocent comment, even if she didn't. Maes tried to cover his embarrassment by coughing and turning his face away from the stares. Glacier decided now was a good enough time to sort the presents.

"Well, I know you'll be enjoying yourself tonight, Maes," Roy said, silently laughing at the darkened blush on their faces.

* * *

I've only skimmed the chapter so pardon any mistakes. Originally this was suppose to be the last chapter. But since I made all of you wait so long, I decided to post what I had at the moment now. I'll just put the rest of it in the next chapter. As for when it will be up, I have no clue. Hopefully it won't take as long as this one did. See ya! 


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